*Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does!*

I know some people may say it's bad parenting to wake your child up in the middle of the night and their probably right. I did my best not to wake them up, but it was unavoidable. I took a seat on the floor. I knew they were going to fall back asleep while I was talking to them, so I settled them into my arms and covered them with a blanket. They snuggled into my sides, looking comfortable and happy.

"Hi girls," I whispered to them. "I'm sorry I woke you up. But I didn't want to wake up daddy. How bad does that sound?" A small chuckle escaped me. "But I know you girls will fall back asleep. Daddy will think that he has to stay up and listen to me."

Mila and Lera were already drifting off to sleep. "I love you both very dearly. I never thought I would love anyone more than your daddy, but now I know I was wrong. I love you two and your sisters so much. I didn't know it was possible to love this many people."

I kissed both of their foreheads. They had fallen asleep, which I had planned. I felt so complete, holding them in my arms. "We found something. We found something that could help your Aunt Lissa," I whispered to them. "When you grow up, I hope you'll be able to know her. Aunt Lissa was… is my best friend. Something weird happened to her. She's being controlled by something. Daddy and I have been working on helping her. I miss my best friend."

I couldn't help the tears that leaked from my eyes. "She used to be great. She was the kind of person I could spend all night talking to. I trusted her with everything," I told them. Then I hesitated, realizing that wasn't true. "Actually, I didn't trust her with everything. I didn't tell her about mine and Daddy's relationship. As you know, Daddy was my mentor. I fell in love with him. I never told Lissa. I should have. She was my best friend. But I didn't tell her."

"Is that why this is happening?" I asked quietly. I looked up towards the ceiling. I didn't know who I was talking to anymore. "Is this happening because I was a bad friend? When she trusted me with everything, I hid everything important to me. Was I selfish? Is this happening to her because I didn't trust her?"

I looked down at my sleeping girls. "I want to help her so badly. I just want my best friend back," I told them. "Me and your Aunt Lissa. We have been best friends since we were five. Our teacher was really mean and tried to make us write our full names. I called her a word that I shouldn't have and threw a book at her. Oh boy, I hope you guys have more control over your anger than I do. I can't regret what I did. After that Aunt Lissa and I were inseparable."

"I would beat up anyone that made fun of her and she gave me someone I could talk to. She was the first person that I talked to like a friend. I didn't need to be snarky and sarcastic with her, I could just be me," I told them. "When we were fourteen, we were in a really bad car accident. Aunt Lissa saved me. After that, we had a bond. I could see into her head, see her thoughts. It was unpleasant sometimes, but it helped me help her. I could always find out what was bothering her."

I smiled at Mila and Lera. "A little less than a year later, we ran away from the Academy. I know it wasn't the right decision now, but if I had to go back in time, I would do it again," I told them honestly. "If we hadn't run away I would never have gotten the opportunity to know daddy like I did. He found us two years after we ran away, brought us back to the Academy."

"Those two years we were gone were amazing. Lissa wasn't the last Dragomir in the human world. She was just Lissa. We were allowed to be who we wanted to be. We got to have fun. There was one Halloween where we dressed up like fairies. It was nice to be free for once," I told them with a smile. "But it had to end. I thought daddy was a jerk at first. I didn't realize how much he was actually helping me. Obviously that changed."

I giggled a little as I remembered our early days at St. Vladimir's. "When we got back to St. Vladimir's, I still expected Lissa to tell me everything that was bothering her and I still tried to help her, but I never gave her the opportunity to do the same," I said sadly. "The one time she helped me, it was out of my control. She was using compulsion. Other than that, I didn't let her help me. I was her guardian. I was supposed to help her, not the other way around. Maybe that's where our friendship went wrong. I made our friendship very one sided and she let me."

"I wish I could tell daddy this, but I know what he would say. He would tell me it's not my fault. He would tell me what's happening to Lissa is out of my control," I told them with a sigh. "And the sad thing is I think he would really believe that. He wouldn't lie to me. If he can see it like that, why can't I?"

"Because you are too close to Lissa to see it. You want to feel responsible because then you have someone to blame. Even if its yourself, its someone," a voice said from the doorway.

I chuckled to myself. "I should have known you would be standing there," I said amused, looking up into Dimitri's chocolate brown eyes.