Ten Random Characters

Chapter 37

"Rosalina gives Peach a haircut, is this okay?", Peach read off. "Well, not really. I'm not really in the business of trusting space princesses with scissors near my neck."

Said space princess didn't say a word until a hesitant "Y-yes, ma'am!" came out. "I will do no such thing, whether it be in the near or distant future."

For once, no one had anything to add to that conversation, so Peach continued on. "Okay, Toon sketches what Robin's ideal boyfriend would look like, will Robin be happy with his ideas?"

"I-I told you, I was just using Shulk to get my sister to shut up about Morgans!", Reflet exclaimed, turning cherry-red. "I'm not in love with him, so stop talking about it before someone gets the wrong idea!"

Awkward silence followed his outburst, until Robin breached it with a sigh. "They said Robin, they meant me," she explained with a groan. "We all know that you were completely only being overly clingy to him for dramatic effect, and that you definitely didn't ragequit playing Xenoblade Chronicles the second Shulk ki-"

"Hey, don't spoil the game for everyone else!", exclaimed Pit. "Lots of people in here haven't played it, you know!"

"And lots of us have no intention to play it," Robin added in a deadpan. "Fine, let's just say he ranted to me for an hour that he hates when a story thinks just because a male and a female are friends and protagonists, they need to be a couple."

Blushing even harder now, Reflet forced out a "S-sorry," and muttered relatively unnoticed into Shulk's communicator "How much of that did you catch, exactly?"

"Enough, but I'm not sure why you got so defensive there." Reflet had no idea if he was kidding or not, but he was grateful not to have to elaborate on the subject. "I'm guessing you didn't get far enough to- wow, we have a lot to talk about."

The conversation was interrupted by Toon Link, who muttered "Well, if I were to sketch Robin's ideal boyfriend, I'd have to look up a picture of that bunny man from Zelda's game, since that's who she's always married to."

"Marrying Yarne to the Female Avatar is the only possible way to get a Taguel with Galeforce," Zelda explained very plainly as Robin facepalmed. "Technically, Chrom is your ideal spouse, as he would be the only to allow you two children-"

"Even if we aren't actually compatible outside of being friends," added said Exalt.

"And I believe a Vaike-fathered Gerome would also be beneficial, as the resulting Morgan would have the highest possible strength stat in the game," continued Zelda in her typical calculated fashion. "However, I opt for Yarne myself for the reasons I just mentioned."

After a brief moment, Robin piped up with a weak counter of "Y'know, I don't think that's what she meant by 'ideal'. And no, I would not be happy with their ideas, as Yarne both irritates me and is best paired with Noire."

"Is anyone else getting déjà-vu here?", asked Palutena. "Feels like we just went through this about twelve chapters ago."

The Norfair Alley didn't even bother cracking this time, as it was tired from the previous night. Instead, Peach quickly read off the next question before it changed its mind. "Okay, then! Sanic-" Marth gave a smug grin and Sonic a chuckle. "Sorry, I mean Sonic and Toon Lunk- Link, I meant Link! They're blushing as they talk. What the heck are they talking about?"

A moment's talk, and Dark Pit gave Toon a pointed stare, as if trying to tell him something wordlessly. Well, that was almost certainly what he was trying to do, as Palutena cracked a grin and Pit burst out laughing, while Ness sighed deeply. "Maybe certain embarrassing cartoon television shows?", suggested the clone chibi Hylian. "And of course you'd be-"

Sonic interrupted his answer with a livid glare. As Toon gulped, he threatened "Choose your next words very carefully, kid."

"Never mind," Toon quickly exclaimed. "We'd be talking about - er, I don't know, stupid internet memes. Like the whole 'excuse me, princess' thing and all of Sonic's er- in-jokes."

With a sudden grin, the blue hedgehog added "Well, you know what they say: Gotta go fast!"

"Sanic fast, dear former enemy," Peach muttered. "Sanic fast. Well, next one: Palutena accidentally kicked our dear San- er, Sonic."

A haughty laugh. "Yeah, right!", Sonic exclaimed. "Not even miss Haruki-Magic over here can kick the fastest thing alive!"

"I could easily!", Palutena protested, not noticing he'd gotten her penname wrong. "Anything a hedgehog can do, a goddess can do better!"

"Not with that default moveset you won't", taunted Sonic. "And with that tier ranking, you make Brawl me look good."

Palutena readied her staff, before changing her mind and somehow producing a mallet from the depths of the magical realm of the gods: Hammerspace. "I'll show you bottom-tier, you little blue weasel!", spat the goddess, running after Sonic. "When I'm done with you, even Pichu will laugh at you!"

Just as he was about to be pounded, Sonic bolted out of the way with a cry of "You're too slow!", only enraging the goddess further. No one was exactly sure what went down in the following minutes, but it somehow ended with Pit and Dark Pit stuck in a wall, and Sonic clinging onto the ceiling fan for dear life.

A booming voice rang out from the very walls themselves. Pit and Dark Pit could testify to this description, as they claimed their ears were ringing for ages afterwards. "I told you, if you can't use your abilities responsibly, you shouldn't use them at all!", cried the voice of presumably Master Hand.

"Sorry sir!", Peach quickly apologized on the others' behalves. "Please, just don't shut us down!"

The voice burst into raucous laughter. "Ha, just kidding!", he exclaimed. "I love what you're doing here! Chaos, great. Keep it up," applauded Crazy Hand. "The other guy's got the night off, so feel free to destroy as much as possible, okay?"

"Y-yes sir!", Peach stuttered.

"Great. Just remember," Crazy Hand took a deep breath. "The universe is a hologram and reality's an illusion, or was it the other way around? Oh well, buy gold, bye!"

AN- So I'm playing Majora's Mask 3D and I'm not worried about the fact that the moon's about to kill us all. No, I'm looking up at the fiery sky and going "Ohmigosh, it's so pretty and red and glowy! This game is amazing and gorgeous!" And I couldn't resist that Gravity Falls joke at the end. Today's chapter name is brought to you by the powered-up Spin Attack in Wind Waker. So yes, it's Toon's chapter. But really, I'm pretty sure this is his longest chain of consecutive questions, with almost three in a row with one break! The little guy's getting some love. *sniff* Anyways, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik