When Vala was finally released from the infirmary Cam made her pack and took her to live with him at his apartment – Daniel's old condo that he rented from the Jackson's. She was skeptical and argumentative at first but he got her to put clothes in two suitcases and tell him what she wanted from the grocery store; after which he decided that they should have a chat about the Food Pyramid and what constituted decent nutrition. But then who was he to judge when his fridge was full of Coors and breakfast meats. He put a bunch of things in the cart that would make his Kansas family proud: steaks and corn on the cob, pork ribs, the fixings for meatloaf and a bag of potatoes. The truth was Cam really liked to cook. It just didn't seem to make any difference when he was living alone.
It took Cam about a day to realize that they fought about almost everything. They fought the very first day about where to go for dinner on the way home, because it was very late when they got done at the supermarket. Cam didn't mind so much that she wanted to go for pizza but they argued pretty vehemently about what to put on the pizza because she didn't want onions or sausage or extra cheese and he really did; and he wasn't crazy about black olives or pineapple though he could live with the Canadian bacon. In the end they ordered two large pizzas, one with pepperoni and sausage and all the extra cheese he wanted and one the way she wanted; and then they argued because she ate two slices of his while hoarding hers.
He got it. He did. She'd struggled for everything most of her life, including her next meal a lot of the time. But they fought about it nevertheless.
They fought about whether to wash the dishes by hand because that was how Cam's mama had taught him and the way he had always done it, since it was usually just him anyway. But Vala loved technology and she didn't see any reason not to let the dishwasher just- you know – wash the dishes. In the end, Vala pouted and rinsed the dishes before stacking them in the dishwasher. But at least she was pitching in.
They fought about who would do the laundry because the next thing Cam knew she had been in his place, in the spare bedroom, for two weeks and their stand down was almost over and the pile of dirty clothes on the floor of his laundry room was really staggering because all they did was argue about who would do it. Cam dubbed it Mt. Washmore and then they fought a little longer about who would conquer it.
In the end they did it together and it seemed really weird for Cam to see his clothes come out of the dryer mixed with hers.
They fought about wet towels on the bathroom floor and reached a settlement in which Cam picked them up and threw them over the towel bar and Vala stopped dropping them right inside the door. It seemed to Cam that the towel fight was the only one that might actually just be about the towels and not something else.
Cameron realized by the third day that he had never lived with someone else. He had spent most of his adult life living on Bases and even having the apartment was kind of weird for him. It had seemed bigger than he needed but he had suddenly gotten much smaller since Vala had moved in and taken over. It was complicated trying to navigate this thing with Vala because he hadn't ever meant it to be permanent but now he wasn't sure how he was going to live without it, all the arguing notwithstanding. Vala made the condo feel like a place someone came home to and not just a place where he occasionally stayed.
He left her at the condo on the third day so that he could go back to the mountain. On the way home he stopped and picked up sushi because she really liked it, even though he hated it and he wasn't going to feel like cooking. Then he went to the shop next door and ordered a pizza with all the meat the place offered and a ton of extra cheese. It was about compromise his mother had told him once when he asked how his parents stayed married.
She was in the shower when he got to the condo. Her shoes were in the hallway looking as if she had stepped out of them on the way to the bathroom. Her red sweater was lying on the floor in front of the door.
He put the sushi on the counter beside a pile of mail she must have brought in and then got a slice of pizza and pulled a beer out of the fridge.
There was a basketball game on ESPN and Cam was working on his second slice of pizza and the last of his first bottle of beer when Vala emerged from the bathroom. She was wearing one of his shirts with the sleeves rolled up and the top two buttons undone, hopefully with at least panties on under it, barefoot, with her hair carelessly blown dry and loose. There was enough bare skin showing for him to see that most of the wounds were healed.
"Hi," she said.
"Dinner's on the counter," he said, "I think I got all the things you like; oh, and noodles. I got you noodles. Crap! Goddammit, man, you know this team can't pull off a move like that without Ellington."
"What?" Vala asked.
Cam twisted around to look at her. "Dinner. Sushi. Also, really bad defense."
"There's a game on?" Vala asked, instantly curious and interested.
"Carolina," he answered and stopped talking to watch a breathtaking three-pointer.
"Who are they playing?" She asked, from the kitchen. He could hear plates rattling.
"Duke."
"Score?"
"Thirty three twenty eight, Tar Heels."
"What quarter?"
"Second."
"Still time. They better step it up."
God, Cam thought, if I don't find a way to get her to marry me I may go insane….
She leaned over to kiss his temple. "Thank you for this. I forgot to defrost the chicken like you told me."
"I kind of figured you would," he said. "No big deal. Oh for Christ sakes, Sidney you need Lawson off the bench like ten minutes ago. What are you waiting for?"
Vala swallowed a bite of her dinner and then said, "You know he can't hear you?'
"I know what it makes me feel better," he looked away as a commercial came on and watched her eat for a moment, "I don't know how you can eat that."
"You should try it," she said around another mouthful.
"I have," he said. But he took her hand and squeezed it to avoid starting yet another argument.
They watched the game and the Tar Heels won and they ate dinner and talked about basketball and the Ori. Cam had come to the realization that he and Vala fought because the Ori scared the shit out of them, and because they worried about the people around them, and about each other, and about the Earth and all the innocent lives throughout the galaxy. Because it was easier to fight with each other than it was to sit helplessly by and not be able to fix the things that needed fixing.
By the end of the third night they were resting shoulder to shoulder, with their feet up on his coffee table and not fighting for a change. At some point she leaned over and he put his arm around her. A little bit after that they were holding hands, fingers locked in a loose hold. When the game ended and they got tired of Sports Center, Cam used the remote to turn off the TV and they sat in silence for a little while.
"Sleep with me tonight," Cam said finally.
Vala turned her head, startled, "I thought we weren't going to be sleeping together because I'm married."
"No we aren't having sex because you're married," he corrected. "But over the last couple of days I realized I like having here. I think it might be all I ever really wanted. So now that you've filled up all the other rooms of the place, I'd just really rather not be sleeping alone."
Her eyes narrowed and studied him for a long time and then Cam said, "Look, everything and everyone has used you, against your will, in ways I can't even imagine. I know we kind of got it on before but things are different now; and I wasn't ever sure you weren't just using me as a substitute for Jackson-"
"Mitchell-"
"Aht! We don't have to go into all that now. What we have to do is start over; and I'm tired of sleeping alone."
Cam stood up, using her hand to pull her up with him and she didn't resist. They cleaned up plates with Cam grumbling a little about how fast they could just do them while Vala put them in the dishwasher, poured in soap and started it up.
He locked up and went to his room, brushed his teeth in the master bath. He changed into a pair of loose pajama pants and then grabbed a t-shirt to wear over them. He was already in bed, waiting and wondering if she was really going to come when she walked in.
Vala had changed into a long nightgown the color of a misty forest. It went nearly to her knees, though it had a lacy V-neck and spaghetti straps. It wasn't clingy which was good, but it did hint at the body under it.
Mitchell was surprised to find that he was just too glad to see her to even react to that. She turned out the light on the table beside the bed and hesitantly climbed in. Cam didn't move, in fact he hardly dared to breathe. Beside him Vala was as tense as a wound spring. They stayed that way for a while. There was a depression in the center of the mattress where Cam always slept and it was like a gravity well trying to pull them both in.
Finally Cam rolled onto his side. "Turn over on your tummy," he said, gently.
"Why?"
"Trust me."
There was a single heartbeat of hesitation and then she turned, obedient. She folded her arms under the pillow, bunching it up in support. She turned her face toward Cam but he figured she couldn't see him very well in the dark. Mitchell turned and scooted in closer, settling the covers over them and then pillowing his own head on his bent arm. His other hand slid warm and tender down the valley of her spine, a long slow glide that she resisted but eventually melted every tense muscle in its wake.
His fingers worked the back of her head, stroked down a handful of thick hair in an almost endless cascade. His touch was casual and assured, reverent. Vala let out an inadvertent sigh of pleasure.
"That's nice," she said.
"Good," Cam said. "Fall asleep if you want."
"Not really wanting to sleep right now," she murmured.
"What do you want then?"
She turned to face him. Without answering she moved in closer and put her arm around his waist. Cam froze for a moment, waiting again but when she didn't do anything else he eased an arm under her head and rested the other hand on her hip. She sighed again but this time it seemed like a shudder. Cam stroked a hand down her back again.
The next thing Cameron knew he could feel hot tears staining the front of his shirt. He rocked her as best he could in their current position and didn't say anything else. It was more than they could talk about anyway. It was her father, her daughter, her past and everything else all catching up with her at once and maybe she had never faced any of it at all before. Vala had been staring too long into the teeth of a storm without flinching.
Right now she needed to cry and she needed to sleep and Cam resolved that she would do both, quite safely, with him.
It's okay," he said. Vala choked on a sob. Cameron gathered her up and held a little tighter. "It's okay, baby. I'm right here."
"Promise?" she asked, bleak and miserable.
"Yep," he said, "For as long as you need."
He started rubbing small circles into the space between her shoulder blades, using the gentle soothing rhythm to spread a kind of healing balm through her soul. Little circles taking away tension and pain and at last Vala fell asleep.
Cameron held her for a longtime after that. In spite of everything, including his own resolve not to get any more involved with Vala than he already was, at least not until after the issue of her marriage could be resolved – Cameron knew he still wanted Vala with a bone-deep desire. Everything about her was wonderful to him.
Vala made a soft sound in her sleep and pushed closer. Cameron wrapped her tighter, closed his eyes and stared into the darkness, content to just hold her and wait for the light of morning.
(0)