CHAPTER XXXV

- You should be more careful -

Jo heard the insisting knocking on the door and nearly jumped off her bed. Slipping quickly in a robe, she hurried to the door, checking through the peep hole first. Realizing Gemma was the person banging on her door like a mad woman, she rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly before opening the door.

"Gemma, hi."

Gemma slid her sunglasses up her head, looking Jo up and down. "You're not ready?"

Jo gave her a dead pan look. "What gave me out?"

"Spare me the attitude. You want to let me in?"

"Sure."

Jo moved away from the door and Gemma walked in, setting her bag on the couch. She turned to Jo with a raised eyebrow. "You got some coffee?"

"I can make some." Jo offered with a forced smile.

"I'll make it. You go get ready. "Gemma ordered as she made her way to the kitchen. Didn't Happy tell you I'd give you a ride to Oregon?"

"He did." Jo confirmed with a sigh. "He just forgot to mention you'd be here at the crack of dawn."

"It's 8.30."

"Yeah. I better go get ready then."

Jo left Gemma in the kitchen and headed to the bathroom. She quickly jumped in the shower, setting the water slightly on cold in the hopes of waking herself up. She had slept better the night before, locked in Happy's arms. They had finally had sex for the first time since the accident and Jo almost felt back to normal. It hadn't been easy.

Ever since seeing Mark at her father's ranch, she kept being flooded with memories of that night, his hands all over her, his breath against her face. The more she tried to chase the memories away, the more they seemed to come back and take over her. Every time she closed her eyes at night, she saw his face, haunting her. She'd known Happy was getting worried about her but she couldn't seem to get in control and appease his concerns.

The day before, when she went for her interview at the hospital, she'd been a mess. She had no idea how she managed to function during the meeting and even less idea of why they offered her the job at the end. She wouldn't have hired herself.

As she walked back from the hospital, she'd realised that she was letting Mark and what he did to her control her life like she had all those years ago. It had taken her years before she trusted another man in bed or with her heart. And she wasn't about to let him do that again. She had told her father she was tired of reliving the past and she was right. She needed to live the past good and bad where it belonged in the past.

That was why despite her initial concerns, she'd followed Hap in the shower. And she had quickly realised that her fears had been unfounded. She didn't see Mark when she looked at Happy. She didn't feel his hands on her, she didn't even think about him. It was all about her and the man she loved.

Turning off the water, she quickly dried herself with a towel, deciding she probably didn't have time to apply her moisturizer and got into some old jeans and a tee-shirt. Gemma would surely have something to say about that but she didn't care. She wanted to be comfortable.

She walked out of the room and was welcomed by the comforting smell of freshly brewed coffee. She found Gemma smoking a cigarette as she tapped her fingers on the table waiting for her. A steaming cup was waiting for her and Jo smiled gratefully.

"Thanks."

"Took your time."

"Are you always in a bad mood in the morning or is it just for me?"

"I don't like waiting."

"I'm sure you don't."

"Hap said you sold the house."

"Yes. I just need to sign the papers now. Which is why I need to take this trip. My stuff are still all over the house and we're putting up the deposit for the house next week."

"Things are really working out."

"Yeah, they are."

"Alright. We should get going."

"I didn't finish my coffee."

"I'll buy you another one on the road. Come on!"

**********SOA**********

Jo woke up with a start, rubbing her sore neck after falling asleep in an awkward position.

"Sorry, I fell asleep."

"I noticed." Gemma replied pointedly.

Jo laughed as she straightened up in her seat. "Well, that's what you get for not letting me finish my coffee."

"It's fine. I like to drive in silence. We're almost there." She informed her.

Jo looked around and saw a sign indicating they were about 50 miles out of Roseburg, "Wow. Was I really asleep that long?"

"Well, you needed the rest it seems." Gemma remarked, turning to her with a motherly look. "Hap said you weren't sleeping right."

Jo did not want to get into this conversation with Gemma. The woman was real sly and good at making you talk even if you didn't want to. People usually said that about Jo, but her and Gemma were definitely not playing in the same league. "Yeah, my ribs were quite sore."

"That better now?"

"Yeah, much better." Jo concluded with a tight smile before pointing to the radio, hoping to bring that particular conversation to an end. "You mind if I put some music on?"

"Knock yourself out."

Jo played with the radio for a few minutes, finally setting her heart on some rock station. They drove in silence for a few minutes before Gemma spoke again. "I hear you got yourself a new job at the hospital."

"Actually, it's a private practice but yeah, I'll mostly be working from St-Thomas." Jo clarified.

"That's good."

Jo smiled but she knew her heart wasn't in it. Happy had seen right through her the day before. She didn't really like the job but she hated being at home and not having anything to do. And like she had told him, she could always look for something better in the meantime. "Yeah, I don't really like not working. I need to feel useful."

"I hear ya."

Jo's eyes fell on a picture of Abel and Thomas that was dangling from the rearview mirror. It was a picture of the two of them smiling at the camera like two happy little boys. "So Hap said Tara was letting you have more and more time with the kids."

"Yeah. " Gemma sniggered. "At Daycare. I don't think my daughter in law trusts me being alone with them just yet."

Gemma might have tried to hide it but Jo could tell from the sound of her voice that she was sad about the situation. The woman had a lot of attitude but for all her bravado and cynism, Jo could tell she was lonely. She was widowed, her son and daughter-in-law had their own family and they kept their distance. All she had was the club and its members. But at the end of the day, she was still alone and Jo knew that must have weighted on her mind.

"Family means a lot to you doesn't it?"

Gemma glanced at Jo as if she was surprised by her question before turning her attention back to the road."Only thing that means shit to me now."

"You could try and meet someone." Jo suggested, knowing she was probably getting into dangerous grounds.

Gemma laughed and Jo realised it was probably the first she had seen her do that. The woman rarely just laughed. She was always all about sarcasm. "And how do you suggest I do that? Internet dating?"

"It's always an option." Jo countered with a smile.

"Nah, as long as I have my family around, I don't need anyone else. It's the only thing that matters. Family. I loved everyone else I was supposed to love."

"Your husbands?"

Gemma looked away and Jo thought she could see regret. "There was someone else. I never married that one."

"What happened?"

"He died." She stated sadly. "They all died."

"I'm sorry." Jo apologized, sincere. "I didn't mean to stir up bad memories."

"Some were good. Some weren't. it's just life."

***********SOA**********

Less than an hour later, Gemma and Jo were pulling in front of her beloved house. It looked just as she had left it, with the exception of the lawn which was in dire need of some love. They jumped off the car, making their way to the door as Jo rummaged through her bag for her keys. She finally got her hands on them and opened the door, letting Gemma in first.

"Nice house." Gemma commented as she looked around her appraising the house.

"Thanks. I'm gonna miss it."

"That's a lot to pack up."

" Yeah. Seems like a lifetime. But the movers will do most of it. I just want to pack my personal stuff, books, pictures, clothes."

"You gonna put all that shit in Happy's house?" she cackled as she put her hand on her hip. "You do realise he's a neat freak right?"

"I'm leaving most of it at my aunts but thanks I'm very aware of that." Jo laughed. "You want something to drink?"

"I'll make us some tea. You better get to work."

Jo turned to her, pretending to be surprised. "I assumed you'd help."

"I just got my nails done." Gemma said as she showed off her French manicure. "Those babies aren't for packing."

"Right."

Jo located the cardboard boxes Samson had kindly dropped off in her house the week before and picked one up, but as she passed by some shelves she stopped, frowning in front of a photo display.

"Something wrong? " Gemma asked.

"It's nothing. "Jo reassured her, still trying to understand what was bothering her about her photo display. "It's just… I could swear my pictures have moved. It's silly."

"Mind playing tricks on you?"

"Probably." Jo laughed off as she started picking up the frames and carefully laying them down in the box.

Gemma pointed to a photo of Jo and her aunt at her college graduation. "Pretty lady, I'm assuming she's your aunt?"

"Yes."

"She really came through for you, uh?"

"Yeah, she did."

"Never had kids of her own?" Gemma enquired as she handed the frame to Jo.

"I guess she never met the right person. After I came to live with her, she dedicated her whole life to me. Taught me a lot about life, family, love. More than my own parents ever did."

"Yeah, my mother was never really about the love." Gemma scoffed. "Only thing she taught me was you need to choose your own family. And the one you just found, it's a good one too."

"I know. You've all been great with me, welcoming me like you did."

"And as long as you continue to make that man happy, we'll always be there for you."

Jo couldn't help but hear the double entendre in what Gemma was saying. That plus the way she was carefully eying her every reaction made her realise that Gemma was fishing. "He said something to do you, didn't he?"

Gemma smiled. "I always said you were a smart girl."

"I know he's worried."

"Does he have any reason to be? "

Jo let out a sigh. "Since the accident… I haven't really been myself. I just… I want to be happy about this new start, there are just so many things in my head at the minute… I feel like I'm letting down a lot of people."

"You worry too damn much Jo. Everyone ever tell you that?"

"Happy." Jo conceded with a small smile.

"The only thing that can get between you and him, is you. Whatever it is that you're dealing with, you need to find a way to get past it."

"I thought I was."

Gemma took Jo's face between her hands surprising the young woman. "This things in your head, they are only in your head because you let them. Trust me. You need to let it go."

They were interrupted by the long whistle of Jo's kettle on the stove.

"I better get that. " Gemma concluded before letting Jo get on with her packing.

With Gemma decided not to help, it took Jo a couple of hours to get everything packed in boxes. When she was done, she looked around satisfied with her work and joined Gemma in the kitchen. The woman was comfortably sat reading a book!

"You done?"

"Just about. We just need to load them in the car. I'm assuming you're not gonna help with that either?"

Gemma smirked and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I'll back to car."

As she quickly exited the house, Jo picked up the first box and made her way outside, amused and made her way outside. Once Gemma moved the car, she opened the trunk and Jo was able to drop the heavy box in the trunk.

"Hi Jo."

Jo turned around startled and came face to face with a man she knew she recognized from somewhere but couldn't really place."Hi, uh…"

"Ross." He offered filling in the blanks.

" Right, the Kramer's house, right?"

"Actually, we didn't end up buying the house. My wife had her heart set on something else."

"Well, that's good." Jo commented, not really knowing what to say.

"Are you moving?"

"Uh, yes."

"In Roseburg?"

"No, California actually."

"Long way away."

"Yes, it is."

He narrowed his eyes on her and she suddenly felt under scrutiny. "You know you should be more careful."

"Excuse me?"

He pointed to her forehead and Jo 's hand instinctively flew to the butterfly stitches that had yet to dissolve. "Oh, that. That's just a scratch. Nothing major."

"Well, I should go. My wife is waiting for me. You be careful Jo."

"Yeah, you too."

Jo watched him leave, feeling unnerved for some reason. The whole encounter had been awkward and she wasn't sure what is was about him that made her feel slightly nervous. She raked her brains but couldn't remember them exchanging names. But they must have or how else would he know her name?

"Friend of yours?"

"No. Not really, It's just… someone I know."

" We should hurry, it's getting late."

Jo shrugged and moved back inside the house, forgetting all about the strange man.

After loading the car, Jo guided Gemma through the street of Roseburg until they reached Ginny house. When she pulled in front of the house, Jo quickly jumped off the car, but noticed that Gemma didn't move.

"You're not coming?"

"Why don't you go ahead? I'm sure you two can use the time alone. I'll just go see the sights."

"Are you sure?"

"Just give me a ring when you need me to pick you up."

Jo slammed the door shut with a grateful smile and walked to her aunts door, knocking quietly. After waiting for a moment, she fished her set of keys from her handbag and opened the door, letting herself into the silent house. She found her aunt taking a nap on her couch, surrounded by her cats and smiled fondly. Unwilling to wake her up, she took a plaid, covering her aunt and went to the kitchen where she knew her aunt would have a pot of tea waiting. Pouring herself a cup, she unlocked the bay windows and settled in the garden.

A half hour later, her aunt appeared with a smile playing on her lips. "You could have woken me up, honey."

"I didn't have the heart to." Jo answered as she hugged her aunt tightly. As she pulled away, Ginny's eyes fell briefly onto her bruises before meeting her own, forehead puckered.

"How are you honey?"

"I'm great. I'm healing just fine and it will all be forgotten in a couple of weeks." She tried to reassure her aunt. "Please don't look at me like that Ginny. You look like Happy."

"You were in a car accident, Jo. I'm allowed to worry about you."

"I'm fine. Can't say the same for my car though." Jo tried to joke as he aunt sat down. She looked good. Actually, for someone who had just undergone a major surgery, she looked better than good. Sure she was a bit pale and had lost plenty of weight, but she appeared much better than Jo had been expecting.

"How did you drive here?"

"A friend. Gemma. I told you about her."

"That's very nice of her."

"Well, that was more Happy being overprotective and calculating."

"Well good. He knows he needs to take care of you." She paused for a moment, a small smile on her lips. "So… I owe you an apology. I pushed this thing with your father and it was wrong of me."

Even if Jo couldn't be in Roseburg, she was still in regular contact with Ginny and had told her what had gone down between her father and her. She had debated telling her about the accident but in the end , she had figured it was better for Ginny to hear it from her rather than from someone else. Ginny had immediately offered to come visit but Jo had managed to convince her to stay put and that she'd come to visit soon. "No, Ginny you were right. I needed to do this. I just…facing the past has brought a lot of things back to the surface. Things I wish I didn't remember. And now for some reason, it's all I can think about."

Ginny took Jo's hand in hers. "I'm so sorry Honey. I can see you're hurting and it's my fault."

Jo shook her head vehemently. "It's not… please. None of what happened to me was your fault. You were the light at the end of the tunnel Ginny. You gave me a home, you gave me a family. You gave me everything."

"Well, you were always easy to please."

Jo looked down. "Did you speak to Dad?"

"He called a few times. I'm afraid I wasn't very nice to him. I told him to go to hell."

Jo let out a quiet laugh."You did?"

"Whatever happened, I'm holding him responsible. I trusted him with you. I was wrong."

"It wasn't… it wasn't really his fault."

Ginny drew a breath and locked eyes with Jo. "He's gone. That man who worked for you father? He fired him."

"He did?"

"Well, first he punched the daylight out of him, then he fired him."

Jo wished she could feel happier about it, but she didn't. She just felt…sad. "Can't say I was expecting that."

"He does feel terrible about it. Not knowing what was going on."

" Yeah." Jo voiced almost in a whisper before shrugging it off. "On the plus side, I met my sister."

"Emma."

"She's… She reminds me of myself. A lot."

"Well, you do share the same father." Ginny pointed out.

"That we do. But Enough about me and my problems. What about you Ginny? How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine. I'm glad to back in my house with my cats."

"That's not what I was asking." Jo reprimanded her.

"Jo…"

Jo took both of Ginny's hand in hers, casting pleading eyes on her aunt. "Ginny, I'm glad that you're feeling great and that you're at home. I really am. But I need you to talk to me about your cancer. You can't keep me out of this. I need to know that you're gonna be okay."

"Honey, I never meant to keep you out."

"But you are. By not talking to me you are keeping me out."

"I'm okay Jo. I'm starting chemio next week and I'll have the reconstructive surgery after that. We won't know for sure until the chemio is done, but the doctors are very optimistic that they got all the tumor out."

"Then why won't you let me be there for you? Go to the appointments, take you to chemio."

"Because you spent too much time caring for other people and not enough worrying about yourself." Ginny snapped. "You have a real chance at having everything you ever wanted Jo. I am not getting in the way of that. I don't need you to chaperone me to appointments and talk to me while they poison me with chemicals. But I do need to know you're okay and happy and living the life you deserve. As for me, when this chemio is over, I do intend to go on living for a long time. I might even finally take that round trip around the world I've always wanted to do."

Jo felt her whole body relax at her aunt's words and she felt tears burning her eyes.

Ginny touched her cheek delicately and smiled. "You and I are gonna be just fine, honey."

**********SOA**********

A few hours later, Jo was climbing into Gemma's car into the car ready to head off.

"How is your aunt?"

"She's better. The doctors are hopeful. She's even talking about travelling around the world. She always wanted to travel."

"That's good."

"Yeah, it's a relief."

Gemma turned on the ignition and started the car. "We should get going and hit the road."

"Actually, there's one more stop I'd like to make if that's okay."

Once again, Jo guided Gemma through the streets of Roseburg to their destination.

"I won't be long." Jo promised as she jumped off the car. She made her way to the small house and before she could ring the bell, the door opened revealing Ethan.

"Hey Ethan."

"Well, well, look who found her way back to Oregon."

She smiled. "I'm only here for a visit." "Sam said you were doing great with your new physio."

"She's okay." He shrugged, dismissively. "She is no you though."

"I'm gonna chose to take that as a compliment."

Ethan looked behind her at the car that was still running. "Who's the MILF?"

"That's Gemma. She gave me a ride."

"What happened to that shitty car of yours?"

She winced as she remembered. "I drove it into a tree."

"My accident didn't serve as a cautionary tale? You doing okay though?"

"Yes."

He looked down at his unmoving hands and sighed. "Look, I know I said some shit before you left… I didn't really mean any of that. I was just pissed."

"I know."

"I'm doing good though. " he said reassuring. "And the nurse who comes here every day is smoking hot."

She laughed goodheartedly. She was very happy to see he was doing so well and that he seemed happy with his new living arrangements. That was all she came here for. "Well, I'm glad."

Gemma honked and Jo turned to her, letting her know she'd be right there. "I have to go, we're on our way out of town. I just… I wanted to drop by, make sure you were okay."

"Thanks Jo. For everything."

"You take care of yourself Ethan."

"You too."

**********SOA**********

Jo let herself into the house, exhausted, but feeling more relaxed than she had been in a while. Seeing her aunt, making peace with Ethan had done her a world of good. But after Gemma had helped her carry the boxes inside and left, she was suddenly by tiredness. She planned on having a quiet evening. Order in, get a good book, take a bath and call it a night early. As she looked for her bag to get her phone and order some food, she realised her hand bag was still in Gemma's car. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she resolved herself to walking to the clubhouse and picking it up. She didn't want to wait until the next day and risk missing a phone call from Happy. She had not heard from him all day and she hoped he'd call at some point. Deciding to turn it into a positive, she figured she could use a run there and back. Quickly changing into her running gear, she picked up her keys and was surprised by the sound of the bell. Hoping it was Gemma bringing back her bag, she opened the door quickly and came face to face with a disheveled Mark. He looked terrible, he had obviously not shaved for a few days and seemed very unsteady on his feet.

"What are you doing here?" she shrieked as she looked around to see if anyone was around. "You need to leave. Right now"

"What did you tell him Jo, uh? What did you tell Grayson?" he spat in her face and she could smell the rank stench of alcohol and cigarettes in his breath.

"You shouldn't be here." She tried to push him but he yanked her hand away.

"You got me fired you little bitch!" He yelled ignoring her. "I worked my ass of for ten years for that man and now you feed him your lies and he fires me?"

"I didn't feed him any lies. I only told him the truth. " she shot back with contempt.

"What truth is that, uh Jo? That I forced myself on you? That you didn't want it?"

"I didn't!" she objected.

"Liar! You're a fucking liar and a slut! You might not want to admit it now but you were really something then Jo. You got around a lot. Everyone knew that! Or Did you forget?"

His words hurt but she tried not to show it. "It didn't give you the right to do what you did."

"You came onto me that night! You were all over me! You wanted it and now you're going to admit it."

"That's a lie and we both know it. Now leave!" She pushed him again and he grabbed her arms violently.

"You don't fucking tell me what to do, you hear me?"

She tried to get away but he had a solid hold on her. "Let me go."

"Admit it!" he ordered her.

"You're hurting me!"

"Admit it!"

"I said no! I begged you to stop!"

"LIAR!" he screamed. "You think I'm gonna let you and your father ruin my life? I'm gonna bury Grayson, Jo and when I'm done, even your low life biker won't want you."

"Hey asshole. I suggest you take a giant step back before I blow your head off." Gemma threatened from behind him.

In the commotion, Jo hadn't even seen her approaching but now she did. Gemma was holding a gun and was aiming it at Mark.

"Who the fuck are you?" he spat, turning to her but not releasing his hold on Jo.

Gemma adjusted her grip on her gun . "I'm the woman who's five seconds away from pulling the trigger, asshole."

"Fuck you!"

"I said let her go! Five, Four, three."

"Fucking bitch." He sniggered as he finally let go of Jo. "If you think this is over Jo, think again. The things I know about Grayson… it's gonna blow him away. I'm going to destroy him and you in the process. Trust me, you and your father are going to regret this."

"Hey!" Gemma shouted as she got closer. " Stop talking to her to her and walk. And I strongly suggest you don't come back."

"This isn't over Jo. It's not over by a long shot."

His eyes still on Jo and Gemma, he walked back and started running away. A few seconds later, he reached his car and drove away as if the devil was after him.

Gemma exhaled loudly and put back her gun into her bag before casting concerned eyes on Jo. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Jo answered as she rubbed her arms although she knew she'd have fresh bruises in the morning.

"You want to tell me what that was about?"

"It's nothing."

"Hey! You can tell me or you can tell Happy when I call him to tell him what just happened. Your choice darlin'."

"Mark works for my father. Worked. My father fired him."Jo explained, still in shock at what had just taken place.

"And he blames you?"

"I guess."

"You want to tell me why that is?"

She didn't. The last she felt like was talking about this. But she knew Gemma was unlikely to give up unless Jo gave her something. "We had a thing years ago…it ended badly."

Gemma narrowed her eyes on Jo, pouring over her face. "He raped you, didn't he?"

Jo met Gemma stare, startled. "How…"

"That look of fear on your face? I had the same one when it happened to me."

Jo closed her eyes, feeling like an ass. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Yeah. It was a long time ago. Come on, let's get you inside."

Jo walked back into the house and Gemma followed, locking the door behind them. As Jo took a seat in the couch, Gemma noticed her hands were shaking. She went to the kitchen and picked up a bottle of whiskey from the counter, pouring Jo a glass.

"Drink. It'll calm your nerves down."

"Thanks" Jo voiced before taking a sip.

"Tell me."

And Jo told her the story. For the first time, in seventeen years, she told another person the whole story, from the night of the rape, to her finding out she was pregnant, to her father sending her to live to Oregon. She didn't omit any details, she didn't leave anything out. The words seemed to be pouring out of her on their own free will. When she was finished, she looked at her still half full glass and downed it in one go.

"Does Happy know?"

"I never told anyone." Jo confirmed with a sad smile.

"You kept this secret for all those years?"

"I guess I knew the minute I told anyone, it would become real, you know? I'd be that girl who got raped and knocked up at fifteen."

Gemma put a hand on Jo's knee and squeezed it with affection. "I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you already are that girl that got raped and knocked up at fifteen. You need to tell him."

Jo flew to her feet and shook her head. "I can't do that. Not now."

Gemma stood and walked to her. "Did you not learn anything in Rogue River? This man ain't the kind who likes secrets. You have any idea what will happen if he finds out?"

"I'll have to deal with the consequences but I can't tell him."

"Why the hell not?" Gemma snapped.

"Because he'd kill him!" Jo shot back. "And with all the shit that happened to me, getting a man killed is not another thing that is going to happen to me!"

"For what he did to you, he deserves anything he gets."

Jo rubbed her temples. "The guy who did it to you? Did he die?"

"Some of them."

From Gemma's answer, Jo understood she had been gang-raped and opened her mouth in shock."God…"

"God had nothing to do with that trust me. " Gemma sniggered with contempt. "I got the closure I needed. You need to get yours."

"Not this way."Jo protested again.

Gemma pursed her lips and thought for a moment, trying to figure out what to do with this situation. She seemed to come to a decision and approached Jo, putting a calming hand on her shoulder. "I won't say anything. Not because I think it's the right thing to do, but because someone did the same thing for me. Kept my secret until I was ready to talk. But that secret nearly damn well destroyed my family. So you need to think long and hard before you decide if keeping your secret is worth risking what you have with Happy. "

Jo nodded gratefully before Gemma continued. "But you need to come clean about what happened today. I'm not keeping my mouth shut on that one."

"What will happen to Mark if I do?"

"You need to let him deal with those consequences."

Jo considered it for a moment and nodded. "Alright."

"Good. We're gonna head to the clubhouse and talk to Jax, see what he wants to do."

"No. I need to tell Happy myself. If he tells me to go to the clubhouse, then I'll go."

Gemma picked up Jo's handbag which she had brought back with her and handed it to her. "Then I suggest you start dialing."

Jo nervously took her phone out and pressed the speed dial. She heard the phone ring on the other side and finally Happy picked.

"Hey."

"Hey, it's me…"

And that's another chapter gone… Hope you enjoyed it?

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