If I had any doubts that something had happened in London, they evaporated the moment I saw Casey walk through the Arrivals gate at Toronto Airport.

The whole family had joined me to welcome her home.

All except one.

"Hi Mom!" My eldest daughter said with a false brightness I recognised a mile off. I had been her mother all her life. I know Casey. She was deeply unhappy.

She fell into my arms and I hugged her tightly; only a small part of the emotion between us was down to her return.

"Are you okay?" I asked in a low tone so that no one else heard.

"I'm OK Mom." She said, unconvincingly, but I knew that it was pointless to push it now. I stepped away and let everyone have their turn at hugging Casey. It gave me chance to examine her.

Her resemblance to Derek was staggering. Of course, they aren't related, and don't even share hair colour or eye colour. But, right now, in their manner, demeanour and overall looks…they could have been twins.

Casey had lost weight. It was weight she really didn't need to lose. Her skin lacked its usual lustre, and her blue eyes had lost their sparkle. She looked ill. I had seen her look like this before once when Dennis died. If I didn't know better, I would have said that Casey was grieving.

She looked bereft.

As the word sprung to mind, suddenly I realised it fitted Derek's countenance too.

We swept the prodigal into our group, and returned to the car to begin the journey home. George announced that as it was close to dinner time, we would be stopping off halfway to eat at Casey's favourite restaurant by way of a 'welcome home' treat.

"Thanks, George." My daughter said smiling, but the warmth never made it to her eyes. The old Casey had liked the restaurant for its vegetarian lasagne, but this Casey only picked at a salad.

After a week of her being home, I realised Casey was hardly eating at all.

It sounds horrible to say it, but I honestly think I found that first week of Casey's return almost as traumatic as Dennis' death. It was like watching my daughter dying in front of me. Casey's days followed the same routine.

She would get up in the morning, shower and dress. Although she took the same care as always with her appearance, she struggled to cover the puffiness of her eyes and their redness. At breakfast, she nibbled on a single piece of toast and sipped an orange juice. I don't think I ever saw her finish either. The usual conversations peppered the kitchen: Lizzie and Edwin discussing school, Marti looking for missing hair bands, Robbie running his cars along the floor. And Casey sat in the middle, oblivious.

She went to dance classes, visited a couple of friends who were home from college, but I never heard her laugh. At lunchtimes, she ate a small dish of salad and nothing more. Her afternoons were spent largely in her room, I hoped reading, but on the occasions I went up there, she appeared to be just lying on her bed, as if puzzling about something. She always flashed a small smile and entered into whatever conversation I had instigated. But, I could tell her heart wasn't in it.

By dinner time, when I was pulling my hair out, she was looking weary as if she had been working extremely hard. She ate the small meal I put in front of her reluctantly, and that concerned me because I put the same quantity on Robbie's plate.

After a week had gone by and all attempts to talk to my daughter had been rebuffed, I grew desperate.

"Is that Willow?" I didn't recognise the clear British voice at the other end of the phone, because I had only spoken to Casey's friend once. However, I possessed her phone number because Casey had given it to me many months ago as an emergency number.

"Speaking."

"Willow. This is Nora McDonald. Casey's mom."

"Thank God for that!" Came the reply. "Jesus, it took you long enough! I've been expecting you to call since she landed."

And that's when I really started to worry.

"I can't tell you what's wrong with Casey, because I don't know what's wrong with Casey." Willow told me after I had explained my concerns and she had initially answered with, 'oh god! I'd hoped that wasn't the case.'

"You see it all happened so suddenly, the depression, and she refused to talk to me about it."
"Can you tell me about the time leading up to it?" I asked, desperate for a clue.

Willow sighed. "I think you should talk to Casey about it. I don't like betraying a friend's privacy."

"Your friend's need for privacy is killing her, Willow. She's not eating enough. The weight is falling off her." I said exasperated. "Just tell me."
"The six of us had gone out for valentine's day: me, Casey, Lucy, Andy, James and Derek."

"Derek?" I queried.

"Yes."

"So Casey and James, and the rest of you?" I said, trying to fit my previous conceptions of Casey's friends in London into the scenario.

Willow sighed. I sensed this was the point she didn't want to share.

"Technically, Lucy was with James." Had Casey been dumped? No, I corrected myself. I had had my suspicions about Casey and James. But she had always told me they were just friends. Then Willow finished speaking.

"Casey was with Derek."

"Define 'with'." I asked.

"I can't Nora. Because I honestly don't know."

I let out a breath. "But you think something was going on?"

There was a pause. "There were some indications…yes."

"Tell me." I pleaded.

"Nora…" Willow warned.

"Tell me. She's not in trouble – well at least not with me. I just want to help my daughter."

"Derek came to see Casey the day he landed in London." I made a noise of acknowledgement. "And as far as I know, he spent nearly the whole week with her."

I hoped my surprise didn't show in my voice.

"As a couple?"

Willow laughed. "An old married couple. They fought like cat and dog."

"That's the first thing you've said today that doesn't surprise me."

"We all went out a few times, which were the only times I actually saw them together. They may have been arguing, but, they stayed close to each other, held hands. I don't know much more than that. She seemed really happy."

I sensed she wasn't telling me something, but, this was almost enough.

"When did she stop smiling?"

"The night before Derek was due to leave they bailed on us earlier than expected." She paused. "To be honest, at the time, I sort of thought they were going somewhere because they wanted to be alone. You know, because he was leaving the next day. When she turned to say goodbye, however, there were tears in her eyes and she was holding her mobile phone."

My turn to be quiet.

"Nora? Are you still there?"

I coughed. "Yes. Sorry. I was just thinking. It seems fairly obvious that they were dating then?"

"Not obvious. You had to be here to understand what I'm saying. In front of me, they could have just been really good friends."

"And the last four months?" I prompted.

"Have been hell. I've been fighting to get her to eat. She's been attending lectures and completing her obligations, but…she's not Casey. I was sort of hoping that she would be better on home ground. We all were. James is as worried as I am."

I could hear Lizzie and Edwin coming in from school, so I needed to finish the call.

"I have to go. Thanks for being honest with me Willow. I'll let you know how things go on."

"You aren't going to punish her if they were involved, are you?"
"No. But if my step-son took advantage of my daughter, he won't know what hit him."

"Do you think that's likely?"

I thought back to Derek in Casey's apartment all those miles away and the grief in his own eyes.

"No. I don't."

Before I hung up, I needed to know one more thing. "Willow. You say this all happened on Valentines Day?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Nothing. It's just we had a little drama of our own that day. Anyway, thanks for your time. I'll be in touch."

I hung up, thoughtful. Valentine's Day, although a Sunday was the day that the Principal of Lizzie and Edwin's school had turned up on the doorstep to discuss the Edwin incident and the rumours further.

I wondered who had told Derek and Casey.

I have been married twice and neither man has entirely turned out to be the husband I expected. Dennis, so careful and attentive at university became distant as a corporate lawyer, gradually pulling himself away from family life. And then there was George, who came across as slap-dash and disorganised, but paid attention to details Dennis would never have seen. Both men were intelligent, one driven, the other laid back. One was a disappointment, the other definitely not.

I love Derek's father with a passion I did not know I had in me, even though the love came slow burning through the shared pain of divorce-hood. That he loved me equally I had no doubt. I think I know him. But he still surprises me.

"It's Casey, isn't it?" He said as we prepared to go to sleep that night.

The question startled me. I wasn't sure what he would make of Willow's news, so I was reluctant to share.

"What is?"

"The problem with Derek…it's Casey."

I loved the fact that once his attention was drawn to the issue of Derek, he hadn't stopped thinking about it. He was a good father.

I blew out a breath and sat down on the bed. "It might be…yes."

"Which of the rumours?" He asked.

"I don't know. Willow thinks something was going on in London, but she's not sure what."

"Willow?"

"Casey's friend in London. I phoned her."

George looked at me with a frown. "Nora. That's invading Casey's privacy."

The protective nature over my daughter was endearing. Especially as I knew his curiosity was as great as mine.

"I'm worried about her, Georgie. Anyway, Willow says, something was up between them, but nothing overt. She says Casey's unhappiness started on the 14th February."

"Valentine's day?" George queried. "But that's when…"

"Yeah. I know."

We talked on about what Willow had said and the state that Casey was in.

"So are you going to postpone the visit to Queen's then?" He asked eventually.

Casey and I were planning to visit her new apartment in two days time.

"No. I still think we should go."

"You're probably right. But, do me one favour?"

"Which is?"

"Tell Derek first."