In the last chapter, Leena and Syrah are finally reunited after over a year of being apart, much to Leena's surprise and amazement. Although Leena is joyful over her sister's arrival in America she still has to worry about the new enemies that she has made.
I could feel the awkwardness of the moment hanging heavy in the air. It was as thick as a fog. It was a quiet Saturday during lunch time. Syrah had been here with me not even 24 hours.
The entire family was seated at the dining room table. Daniel picked at his food as Syrah and I sat next to each other across from him. He did not appreciate the fact that Syrah was now in the picture. I could sense his disgust. There was a profound silence as we ate. You could hear a pin drop.
John and Kate didn't seem to know how to handle the situation. I could sense that Daniel's parents wanted to strangle him for being so cold and distant to Syrah and I. He refused to even shake Syrah's hand when they first met nearly an hour earlier. I could hear the ticking of the clock, each passing second only increasing how awkward we all felt.
Max was the only one who was happy go lucky. At her age she was completely besides herself, seemingly oblivious to what was going on as she ate her sandwich. Finally, Kate spoke up. "Daniel, stop playing with your food and eat it already" she hissed angrily.
He stopped picking at the bread of his sandwich and looked over to his mother. His frown was causing Kate to become angrier. John kept his cool before taking his food and leaving for the solitude of the living room. I got the impression that he knew what Kate was going to do next.
Syrah shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. She knew that Daniel did not welcome her one bit. Kate was becoming more unnerved. "I'm going to ask you one more time young man. Eat your food or you can spend the rest of the afternoon in your room." she warned. "Or is it that you DON'T want Brenda to come over?"
I nearly jumped out of my seat. I remained quiet as I tried to grasp what Kate had just said. "Brenda? NO! Why is she coming over here?" I thought. Daniel grudgingly began to eat, slowly but surely.
Syrah and I finished eating. "Mommy, may I please be excused?" I asked. "Of course darling." Max looked at Syrah and she signed to her mother. "May I be excused too, I want to go outside?" she asked. Kate gave her little one a nod and the three of us girls took our leave. "I would prefer that you guys leave because I want to have a talk with Daniel alone."
I knew the shit was about to hit the fan. I cracked a smile as I grabbed my coat. Syrah and Max retreated upstairs to fetch their own coats. I wrapped the shawl that Syrah had made for me around my neck. I placed my little black beret snugly on my head. "Great, Brenda will be here. Always my luck." I muttered. I stayed close to the dining room, trying to tune in to what she was saying.
"What is your problem, Daniel? You better stop acting this way or else! I'm telling you right now!" He was quick to answer her. "Why does Esther's sister have to stay the weekend?" I refused to peer in for fear of being caught. "Because Esther has the right to see her sister whether you like it or not." Kate probably felt like smacking the shit out of him.
"I wish they would both go away" I rolled my eyes when he said this. "Do not, you understand me, DO NOT talk back to me and you better start treating Esther and Syrah with respect! Now be quiet and EAT!" I smiled to myself. "Boy, is she pissed" I thought.
"Esther? Esther?" I felt a gentle tug on my shoulder. As usual I was jumpy as I turned to face Syrah and Max. "The weather is nicer today. Why don't we all just go outside?" Max loved the outdoors and was itching to leave the house. Kate tried to keep her inside as much as possible.
Dressed for the weather, we headed out. I could see John wanted to stay out of Kate's way for the time being. I could barely keep my eyes off of him. "Now Max don't run off on us" I signed. "I want to play" she signed in returned. "Play what?" I asked. She ran ahead of us.
"Max, wait!" I had to rush after her, leaving Syrah behind to trudge along through the snow. "Why don't both of you wait" she lamented. She struggled after us as Max ran alongside of the house. She knelt down and began scooping snow away. At first I thought she was getting ready for another snowball fight.
Instead Max pulled out a red sled. She pointed over to the pond, immediately behind the house. "Push me around on the pond, it's frozen" I had to stop her. "Slow down when you're trying to sign, I'm still learning, now what did you say?" She sighed and signed once more. "The pond is frozen. Push me around on it in this sled." I looked over at the frozen body of water.
I looked behind me as Syrah made her way up to us. "That's dangerous Max. Let's not do that." Max was pouting. "Please, I've done it before." she asked. I didn't want to put either of us in danger. I hesitated for a moment. "Let me check it first" The snow crunched beneath me as I made my way to the pond.
Slowly and gently I took a step onto the frozen body of water. With the utmost caution I walked out all the way to the center. "This ice is thick enough" I knew there would be no problems. I motioned for Max to come over. She jumped at the idea and ran towards the edge. She placed the sled in front of her onto the ice and sat on it.
She pointed to the ropes. "Ride me around" she signed feverishly. She just wanted to have fun with me. I gave her a smile. "Very well then. No harm no foul" Syrah approached the edge of the lake. "Are you sure that's safe honey?" she shouted. "The ice is really thick. We'll be fine." She looked over her shoulder. "Okay, but please be careful. I don't want to have to dive in after anybody"
I took the ropes and started dragging her behind me. I watched her as she began laughing. How could I not enjoy having fun with her? "Ready now Max? I'm going to pick up speed now." I began running faster, the sled skidding across the ice. We ran in circles, my sister watching from the edge.
"Hold on tight now, Max." I began running faster as I shared in the laughter. This was another memorable moment between Max and myself. "Come out onto the pond Syrah and have some fun for a change." She shook her head. "Trust me, I'm fine where I am." Syrah was like that though. Always wanting to be the spectator. She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to stay warm.
I shouted at the top of my lungs. "Round and round and round we go. When we'll stop, nobody knows!" This was sucking the energy right out of me. Syrah suddenly began motioning to me. "Stop it! Stop it! Kate is coming!" she tried to yell. Suddenly I heard Kate yelling in total shock and urgency at us,
"No, no! Esther what are you doing? Get away from there!" She quickly made her way down the hillside. She was absolutely flustered as she signed to Max. "You know you're not allowed to play near the water. You know that! Come on, get out!" Syrah hung her head down, not sure if Kate was going to tear into her.
I slowly dragged the sled out of the pond. Max hung her head down. "Come on" I told her with the gentleness of a mother's love. "Max, get inside right now" Kate screamed. I got ahead of Max and tried to defend her. I walked hastily up to Kate. "Mommy, it was my idea. Please don't be mad."
"From now on Esther neither of you are allowed onto or near that pond. You two could have fell through the ice. Don't do that ever again" Max and I hung our heads low. She clutched onto my arm. Syrah rushed over. "Please Kate, I didn't know they weren't allowed out there. I'll see to it that it won't happen again."
All Kate could do was nod, her breath condensing in the chilly air. "Max come on, inside right now." She didn't want to leave my side. "But I want to stay with Esther and Syrah, I'm really sorry mommy" she signed innocently.
"Fine but just don't let it ever happen again, you know better than that." Max nodded slowly as any disciplined child would. "Again, I apologize so much Kate." Syrah added. Kate calmed down. "No, it's fine really. It's just I'm having enough trouble with Daniel today and…" Kate simply trailed off before turning back towards the house.
Syrah waited until she was out of sight. "Didn't I tell you?" she insisted. "Well what if we walk around and just talk. After all, what harm is Max going to do if we keep an eye on her?" Max seemed a little disappointed that her play time was cut so short. Syrah began speaking in Estonian.
"God forbid had you and Max fell through the ice. What if you and her had to be rushed to the emergency room? Do you know what could have happened besides death?" I didn't answer her.
Max clutched on to my hand as I listened to Syrah intently. "Leena, we all know your false identity is always dangling by a slender thread. Every moment. I want you to always remember that."
"Tell me something I don't know" I replied, also in our native Estonian. "I mean, well, I did a lot of thinking last night while I was in bed. I didn't sleep all that well. Seeing you is so wonderful again but it stirs up a lot of unanswered questions. Just too many things to touch on."
A brief silence as we crunched through the snow. "Go on" I insisted. "Seeing Max here. Daniel, as rude as he is. John and Kate. They…they made me think about that horrible phone call you made in that hospital." I immediately knew what my Sy Sy was speaking of.
I stared straight ahead. "You mean…you mean the murder…the Sullivans" She nodded slowly. There was such a dead serious look in her eyes. "Well it's not like I didn't know you would them up once more. It just… it opens up so many painful wounds for me." Syrah interjected. "You mean for the both of us."
Our Max was of course all but completely oblivious to our strong words. "It's just that this family reminds me of the lives you have taken. It makes me concerned for these people."
"Are you trying to say that you know I will snap again somewhere down the line." I wanted to delve into her deepest thoughts. "I would love to believe so. I want to believe it when you tell me such things. But sometimes they seem like empty promises. I know it hurts you for me to say that."
"Syrah, come on now. You're here with me and like you said, keeping an eye on me. It's not like I haven't welcomed you to this home with open arms." Syrah was a little on the flustered side. "You're not seeing the big picture, my dear sister. Sometimes I think even my very presence may not be enough to stop you. I just don't know what to think sometimes. Honestly, honestly, I do feel confused."
"Why must we talk about this? Look at Max, walking between us. Do you ever think I would hurt this child? I feel as if I could lay down my life for her in an instant." Were my words making any bit of sense to my big sister? "You've…you've ended the lives of young and old." she reminded me painfully.
"How can you love a murderer like me, Syrah? How do you still show love to me, so much so after all that has happened? I really ponder that question sometimes. How it stings at me." Syrah nodded in understanding.
"Like I've told you a million times before. The reason I still love you. The reason I never turned you in was because you're my only sister and that is why I love you." Syrah was getting a little choked up. Tiny Max looked on in concern. She signed to me. "What are you guys talking about? Why is Syrah crying?"
I was forced to ignore Max. How could I answer such a question. "Don't break Max's heart, Syrah. You're starting to cry on her." Syrah regained her sense of composure. Max grabbed onto Syrah's hand as well. "As I said, I was doing a lot of thinking last night and…well, I have a request for you. It's something I need to do."
"And what is that exactly, Syrah?" I was curious as to her request. "I…I need to see what happened for myself." She dried her eyes. "Meaning?" What could she be speaking of? "I need to see where the fire happened. With the Sullivans. Where you ended their lives" Syrah was full of melancholy. Like myself she was one to switch moods very quickly.
"It's a long ways away, Syrah. It's in a whole other state." Syrah was adamant. "I don't care about that. I have a rental car. Find the address for me because it's been eating away at my core."
"Syrah, all there is now is a burnt out shell of a house. It might not even be standing anymore. It could be a vacant field now for all I know." Syrah remained determined in her resolve. "That's not what I care about. I just want something to help bring closure to me. And I want you to come along with me."
That seemed like something I could never do. "Syrah, please. Don't open up those old wounds for the both of us. I know you will never be able to leave it in the past but it'll only make things worse for you. Come on now."
Syrah shook her head in refusal. "That's all I'm requesting. I'm not going to take no for an answer on this one. I don't care if we have to drive all day and night. Something is compelling me so much. I'm still having nightmares about it. Maybe I'm trying to see things from your perspective, I really don't know."
My thoughts turned towards that not so distant past. "The funeral, Syrah. It broke my heart into a million little pieces. You don't think I'm still not piecing it back together again?" We continued to huff and puff as we trudged along through the forest. "I would like to see their graves as well." To this my heart sank even further into the pit of my being.
"I honestly don't know where they're buried." Syrah had to almost catch herself from raising her voice. "Well we're going to see one or the other then. Just give me a chance to give myself some closure for a change." She pointed a finger at her heart. I nodded sympathetically. Max remained solemn and silent.
Just ahead we caught sight of Daniel and Brenda. "Great, the little bitch is here already" I thought. "That is one of the girl's who keeps harassing me at school" I informed my sister. Max seemed to recognize her. Brenda had her hands cusped around her mouth in a state of shock. Daniel was standing pathetically to the side, weeping.
"Now what is this all about?" I whispered. I cracked a sly smile seeing Daniel obviously upset over something. As the three of us approached I finally caught sight of what was causing their distress.
On the crisp white snow laid a dark pigeon. It's wings broken and body shattered. I approached him. "Did you kill it?" I asked plainly. "It was just a paintball, I didn't think it would hurt him" The poor creature was writhing in agony. I remained emotionless as I walked past Syrah and Max.
I brushed the snow off of a brick laying haphazardly besides us. I made my way back to Daniel and extended it to him. Brenda stepped backwards. Perhaps she anticipated what was going to happen next. "Put it out of it's misery". Daniel slowly looked up at me in disbelief.
"It's in pain and it's your responsibility." I explained. Syrah and Max could only look on. "It was just an accident" the little shit head whined. "If you walk away now it will starve to death. Is that what you want?" I told him sternly. Max came to my side and clutched onto my hand.
She looked up at her older brother. She was obviously concerned. Syrah came next to her. "I'm not doing it." I turned to Syrah. "Cover Max's eyes" I warned her. She quickly did so and turned Max away from the scene, holding her close in her arms.
My face cringed as I slammed the brick down onto the bird. An explosion of blood and guts painted the snow a crimson red. Max pulled herself away from Syrah and looked at the gory spectacle with grave concern. Syrah pulled the little girl back to her. My older sister was completely besides herself. "Don't look Max. Just don't look." she whispered into her ear.
Still, Max once again pulled herself away. I began to sign as I spoke to Daniel. My eyes meeting his. "It's alright, it's in Heaven now" He was clearly disturbed. "What's wrong with you?" He stormed away, leaving Brenda behind.
She angrily approached me. "You're sick, you know that?" she screamed. She pushed me hard causing me to tumble backwards into the snow. With a burst of primal energy I righted myself back to my feet. "You little bitch, come on and push me again!" I shouted. I lunged at Brenda, knocking her to the ground.
The two of us rolled around and in an instant Syrah broke up the fight. "STOP! STOP IT! ESTHER! BOTH OF YOU!" She pried us apart while Max got her first true sight of what I was really capable of doing. Without a word Brenda took off after Daniel. "Wait! Wait!" she shouted after him.
"You better run bitch!" I yelled in her direction. Syrah raised her voice at me. "Now that is ENOUGH!" I instantly quieted down, not wanting to upset her anymore. "Tell Max to go back inside" I let out a long exhale before signing to my daughter. She seemed overwhelmed by the violent episode.
"And please don't tell a soul what happened" I signed further. "Can your big sister rely on you?" I asked. Max slowly nodded before trudging away. Now I knew that I would be the one to be chewed out. The two of us waited until Max was well out of sight.
Syrah's face twitched. She was in stunned disbelief. "I'm here only two days and this happens." She pointed in the direction of the lifeless bird. "Did I not do the right thing, my dear? After all, it was in pain."
"Fucking shit, Leena. What about poor little Max? She had to see this?" For that I felt sorry for. "No, she didn't have to. Why the hell do you think I asked you to cover her eyes for me? I don't want to expose her to anything bad or wrong."
"Well you can't say that now can you?" she said sarcastically. "I'll talk to Max later on and explain why I had to do it." Syrah wasn't buying it. "You mean you couldn't have told Max to go away and then put the animal out of it's misery. Damnit, stop being so reckless!"
"And then you wonder why I say that I need to keep an eye on you. It's shit like this that you do. And to do it in front of children." She was truly disappointed in me. She raised her hand as if she were about to strike me. I braced myself but she restrained herself at the last minute and slowly lowered her arm.
"You better hope to God that Max doesn't tell Kate and John about this. Think before you act, my sister." That was easier said than done. "At least Daniel and Brenda know not to play their little games with me anymore. I sent my message across crystal clear." Did those words really just come out of my mouth?
"Do you not see my point, Leena? Max is probably upset right now. You better damn apologize to that little girl and don't you dare drag her down into shit like this. Am I making myself perfectly clear, Leena Klammer?"
"Yes, Syrah. It was something I did on impulse. I'm sorry you and her had to witness that." My voice was shallow and morose. "And then you wonder why I can't sleep well at night? Look at me, Klam Klam."
"You better apologize right away. And to Daniel as well." I whipped my head around. "I'll gladly apologize to Max but Daniel and I don't see each other on the same level, don't you see that?" She rolled her eyes. "If you don't apologize to him he might let his parents know what had happened, and we both don't want to think about the consequences of THAT."
Syrah always had a logical explanation behind anything she said. "I see your point. All this over a bird" I muttered. "Now Max is going to be scared of you. Do you realize you just showed her your darker side? Attacking Brenda as well? Now she has reason to stay away from you. Someone you consider your own…your own daughter." She could barely say such a thing without cringing.
I felt hollow inside. "I don't want to scare Max, Syrah. Again, I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't mean for her to see any of it. Like I said, I'll sit down and have a talk with her."
"The damage may already be done, Leena. She is only six years old, I mean what you just did frightened me and I'm a grown woman." I gulped. "I have to have eyes in the back of my head around you, Leena Klammer. This is very serious." I thought otherwise. I convinced myself I had performed a mercy killing. I always justified an act of murder after all.
"You better learn to keep yourself in check or I'm going to have to do it for you, understand?" It was almost as if she were threatening me. I turned around swiftly. I thought I was going to say something but I found myself suddenly at a loss of words.
"And?" she asked. "I'm just…okay, I'm sorry" Syrah took me by the hand as we walked back towards the house. "You better tell Max that, understand? You better be as sweet as sugar to that girl and give her a real heartfelt apology. I can't believe this." Once again I had let Syrah down. I had broken my own promise to myself not to do so ever again.
The rest of the trek back to the house was quiet. Syrah was pissed off and concerned for the children's well being. I broke the silence once more. "Please believe me when I say I didn't mean to hurt Max." She faced me. "I do believe you, Leena. But you better tell Max that face to face." She had calmed down once more. It probably took every ounce of strength she had to keep from giving me a crack across the face.
"And you better do so as soon as you get inside. This better not happen again. That was completely inappropriate of you. Nobody should have to see something like that. I swear you're going to give that little girl nightmares. And Daniel and Brenda for that matter."
As far as Daniel and Brenda were concerned I hoped they would have nightmares for many weeks to come. I really did feel pain for causing Max any kind of unnecessary hardship. "Max deserves an apology and she will get it." Syrah nodded. "Very well then. You have a head. Use it!" she said.
"Don't get me wrong, Leena. I understand you did what you did because the animal was suffering. But attacking Brenda? Yes, I know she started it but…but I need not speak further on this." It would be pointless for her to do so after all. She appeared flushed, in utter dismay at me despite her calm. As we approached the front door I hoped none of them had said a word to my "parents".
"Right away, Leena. Apologize to Max at least. Can you do that for me?" Like she hadn't driven the point home already. "Yes, Sy Sy. I want my Max, OUR Max, to have piece of mind." Syrah just shook her head. "Just go in and apologize to her already." Syrah was a bit forceful in her words. "It's bad enough Kate had to scold you for pushing Max around on the ice like that."
I was greeted by the warm blast of air which was a welcome reprieve from the cold. My eyes scanned the expanse, looking for John and Kate. The two of them were in the kitchen, seemingly normal and unaware of what went down. Syrah bent over to whisper in my ear. "I think you're in the clear as far as they are concerned, now go find Max."
"You really try to be more of a mother figure to me than a sister, do you Syrah Klammer." Her eyes darted back and forth. "Honey, I'm just looking our for you, now go on and apologize to Max." I did feel obligated after all. "Hello mommy and daddy" I chimed as I made my way to the stairs.
They greeted me with smiles and waves. I knew Daniel and Brenda had at least kept their mouths shut. I gingerly made my way up the stairs. Mommy had to have alone time with her precious Max. To explain what had happened and why.
I could hear Brenda and Daniel talking as I passed by his room although I couldn't make out the words. The door was slightly ajar. I peered inside as they were busily working on some sort of school related project. They looked as disturbed as they had been moments before. "As long as they stay the hell out of my way. That's all that matters." I had to tell myself.
I kind of chuckled to myself at the idea that there were three people under this roof whom I loved and three whom I wanted dead, well two once Brenda left. I approached Max's room. I knocked gently and pressed my ear to the door. There was no answer.
I turned the doorknob and pushed my way inside, gently so as not to startle the child. Max was standing forlornly at her window, staring blankly into space. I sat down on the edge of her bed as she turned around.
I patted the bed besides me and signed to her. "Max, please come here so I can speak with you." She was obviously saddened over what I had done. Ever obedient, she took her place next to "Esther". I signed and spoke ever so gently so as not to be overheard.
My eyes were suddenly drawn upwards as Syrah entered the room. She crossed her arms as she watched us. She nodded so as to give me the go ahead. I began signing and speaking. "Max, what you seen me do today I didn't mean for you to see."
She listened patiently and with intent. Her eyes remaining ever fixated on my own. "It was your brother's fault for having shot the poor bird with the paintball gun. He shouldn't have done that. That was very wrong of him." Syrah stirred uncomfortably, perhaps with the thought that I was trying to shift all of the blame on Daniel.
I became very tender with Max. My voice remained calm and soothing. I kindly stroked the girl's hair. "There was nothing any of us could do to help that bird. It would have gone hungry and died in the cold. Now you wouldn't want that to happen, would you?"
All she could manage was to shake her head slowly, side to side. "I did it because I had to. That is why I had Syrah cover your eyes. And I only pushed Brenda back down because she attacked me first. You're not mad, are you?" I placed my hands gently on her shoulders.
"No" she mouthed. She began signing herself. "I understand now." I smiled. "That's a good girl. I hope you don't think I'm some sort of bad person." This really caused Syrah discomfort with all the knowledge she had of my various misdoings. "Not at all" Max signed.
"I wouldn't do something like that unless I really had to. You know mommy wouldn't do such a thing without good reason." Syrah's eyes widened. I fucked up again! "Mommy?", Max mouthed in confusion. This is the second time this had happened.
For a moment I felt tense. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Syrah was the same way. I quickly corrected the situation. "Don't be silly, I mean our mommy Max." The tot managed to give me a smile. "There's that smile" I commended her.
"Don't worry Max. Everything will be fine now. I'm glad you understand. Syrah and I just wanted to make sure of that and that you were okay. That is all." I could tell Max was still put off but that she would be no worse for wear come the next day.
"Alright then. Maybe later on you, Syrah and I can go outside once more and build a snowman. Would that cheer you up?" Now I really felt a motherly instinct kick in. She was as good as my own as far as I was concerned. I couldn't help but feel emotional. "If mommy lets us" she signed.
I breathed a sigh of relief. "But let's not upset mommy and daddy by telling them what happened, okay. They'll get mad at me and start yelling." Max, not wanting her new sister to get into trouble nodded vigorously in agreement
I gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead, in the hope of offering her reassurance. Max was still not quite herself. Syrah nodded to me in approval as I passed by. She grabbed me gently and knelt down.
"And Daniel?" she whispered. "When hell freezes over" I smiled. "It's your risk if that's how you want to be" she reprimanded. "Come with me to my bedroom, Syrah. I have a photo I would like to show you." I caught her a little off guard. "And what is that exactly?" I led the way. "Just follow me already."
We entered the dreariness of my room having left Max behind. I turned on the light and went over to my dresser drawer. "What is it you're looking for?"
"Here it is." I materialized my Bible, the very one I clutched onto when I escaped the Saarne Institute. "This is my secret book, Syrah. I showed this to you back in Estonia." Syrah ringed her hands in apprehension.
"The photos, I…I've seen them already." she tried to explain. I pulled out a family photo of the Sullivans and myself. I extended the picture to her. "Take it. Look at it." She slowly extended her hand, almost hesitant to lay eyes on the picture.
As she brought the picture closer she covered her mouth in shock. I could immediately tell that she knew who the people besides myself were in that photograph. "The…the Sullivans?" she asked in quietly yet in an almost bewildered manner.
I nodded. "Yes, I wrote their names on the back." Syrah flipped the photo over and read the names. "Veronica…Paul…Rebecca…Esther" she uttered. She was flabbergasted. "Why would you want to show this to me? Why do you think I want to see this?"
"Because you want to go see where the fire occurred. To see their graves as well. I just figured this would be something that would, well, interest you, if I dare say that." Her eyes squinted. She inspected it with a keen interest. I could tell she was drawn to my own smiling image.
"You, all of you seemed so happy. I can't believe it had to end that way." Before my sister could become anymore upset I carefully took the picture from her. She slowly raised her head, eyes meeting mine. I could see how puzzled and baffled she was. That I would take the life of such wonderful people.
I carefully returned the photo to the yellowed and worn pages of that old Bible. Syrah looked away towards the window. I pulled out yet a second photo. It was a photo my Syrah had given me before I left for Russia. Her and I, hugging and smiling together for the camera.
I handed it to her all in some attempt to bring a little cheerfulness to her day. She put her hand over her heart. Now she seemed touched. "Remember Syrah, just like you said, we just move forward from this point. Together." Without a word she drew me near and hugged me tight.
"I know the past is the past sweetheart but please understand why I want to see what had happened." I placed my head comfortably on her shoulder. The sweet moment was finally broken. "See you later in school, Esther." crackled Brenda's voice as she passed by in the hallway. Her cocky tone only indicated the utter contempt she must now hold for me.
"Ignore her, honey. Please." Syrah insisted. "Looks like she really has a reason to hate me now. Not that I give a damn." I sputtered in anger. "Just keep your distance from her." Like Syrah actually thought that was somehow possible? Rather than talk back I simply held my tongue.
Syrah returned her gaze to the photo of us. "A lot of memories my dear. A lot of memories. I wish I had brought my photo album but it's back in Tallinn." she said in disappointment. "Well we'll start a new one. You and I. John and Max." My sister knew I would never include Kate and Daniel in such an album.
"So when exactly do you plan on making this trip out of state? To see, you know, what's left of the Sullivan's house?" She shrugged. "On a weekend, when you are not in school. We'll drive up to, what's the state called again?"
"Maine, besides if that is what you want then I'll come with you but you know it's going to be really painful for the both of us. I'm just telling you in advance. It won't be easy." Syrah remained ever determined. "Well then that's the price of it. If I can get some closure that's what helps me sleep at night. I'm not going to procrastinate about it either. I'm serious."
I wanted to crack a cruel joke almost and say something along the lines of "dead serious" but I understood how inappropriate that would be. I kept quiet in consideration of my sister's feelings.
Kate's sudden presence broke the moment. "There the two of you are. Won't you come down and spend some time with me? No need to be cooped up in the bedroom all day." I put on the false smile of childhood innocence. "Yes, mommy. Give us a moment." I turned back to Syrah, the brilliant smile transforming into an instant frown of discord for that woman.
I made sure Kate was out of sight. "You really think I want to spend time with that woman, Syrah? Now you see how difficult life can be for me." Syrah disagreed. "Come on now, she isn't a bad person. Now stop making a fuss and lets just go downstairs. We're making ourselves look bad by trying to be solitary."
She certainly had a point there. "I really just feel like painting today. It's the only thing that keeps her and Daniel off of my mind."
"Just do as Kate says already, dear. I know you don't like her and Daniel but you have to fight through that. If you're not tolerant they are going to notice and we don't want to upset Kate with you only living here for a little while now."
Ah, my sister's logical side. Always trying to steer my course in some appropriate direction. "She's infatuated with you after all. Can't you see that?" Max followed behind us from her bedroom as we went to be with Kate.
"I only want Max and John to be infatuated with me." Syrah ignored this statement as Max skipped ahead. "And speak English when we're downstairs. It seems rude to always be speaking Estonian." Syrah reminded me.
We spotted Kate in the dining room. Max was jumping up and down, eagerly signing to her mother. "Want to build a snowman, I want to build a snowman". She went on and on. "I told you how quickly she would revert to her old self" I said to Syrah.
"No, not now Max. Stay inside for the rest of the day." Max was frustrated. "But the snow is going to melt!" She was so charming to me. "Max, not now." Kate was working on a large jig saw puzzle. The kind with the annoying little pieces that were impossible to assemble.
"You girls care to help me?" Kate asked. "Of course Mrs. Cole…I mean Kate." replied Syrah. It was painful to even sit across from my enemy like this. Still, like Syrah said, spending time with Kate was the only real way to avoid suspicion.
"How exactly do you put these together" I asked. I could tell Syrah wanted nothing to do with this. "Kate, what if I play the piano for us while you and Esther work together?" I wanted to glare at Syrah. "Yeah, thanks for wanting to leave me alone with Kate" I thought.
"That would be wonderful." Max took Syrah's place as Sy Sy went over to the piano yet out of sight. The melodious sounds of Bach soon filtered through the environment. "Your sister is such a wonderful piano player. When are you going to let me teach you?" Kate asked.
Of course I hid the fact that I was just as good as Syrah at the piano from my new so-called mother. "Whenever you're willing to teach me. I really can't wait to start learning. I never bothered to learn like Syrah has." That's it, a little white lie never hurt.
"Well then the sooner we finish this puzzle the sooner I can start teaching." she teased. I don't know why exactly I was hiding this truth from Kate. Wouldn't it be all the more charming to John and Kate if I DID show them my true talent? It was too late at that point, the lie was already said and done.
The sudden realization came to me that Syrah was playing the piano to help me to become comfortable around Kate. I smiled warmly. My sister was actually doing me a favor.
"First Esther we need to sort through all of these little pieces. You sort them by color, you see? Darks over here, blues and reds and greens in their own little piles." I shook my head understandingly although I could really care less about this sort of nonsense. Max seemed to have done this many times before as she hastily began sorting.
My John suddenly entered the room. "The mail from yesterday. You didn't bring it in" he told his wife as he handed her a stack of mail. "Well then put it in the living room, not here on the table. Don't you see we're having girl time?"
A little chill went up my spine. "Daddy, won't you help us with this puzzle. It's oh so difficult" I said sweetly. "Honey I design buildings and that is hard enough." I pouted. "Please, daddy." I knew how to make him melt for me.
"If my baby girl insists than everything else can wait". I smiled as John took his seat. "Syrah playing the piano?" he asked. Kate nodded. "She plays so beautifully, doesn't she?"
I guess this was what they call "family time". Something ever foreign to me. I sat between John and Max, content with the simplicity of the moment. Who ever said a bad girl can't be good too?
In the next chapter, Esther's identity is nearly revealed to Kate through a shear accident. Later on, Syrah makes a discovery among Leena's possessions that causes a stir between the two of them.
Thank you all for reading! Subscribe, review, PM! One of my New Year's Resolutions to put out my works at a quicker pace. A happy and prosperous New Year to everyone!