Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

The sun peeked through the crack in the curtain and drew a line of light across the bed. Birds could be heard from outside as a new day began.

Nicky was the first one to awaken. Her mouth was as dry as a desert and there was a weird film on her tongue. She needed a drink and maybe a quick teeth cleaning as well. She slowly moved, untangling herself from the dark vixen beside her. Once, she was successfully free, she sat up and swung her legs to the side of the bed.

She groaned slightly as her muscle protested as she stood up and began to move out of the room. She felt extremely weak as she held onto the wall for support as she moved towards the bathroom.

Nicky ignored her appearance in the mirror as she reached for the toothbrush and toothpaste which were resting on the edge of the vanity. Putting a dab on the brush end, she vigorously began to brush the staleness from her mouth.

She just wanted to feel somewhat clean and somewhat normal. It felt like currently she was getting over a really bad flu.

This flu she'd had many times before, but she was hoping that this would be her last time. Not because she wished to swallow a bunch of pills again. But because she was fucking tired of feeling like shit. And being a total fuck up. She had ruined her four years of soberness with one stupid mistake. She was weak, she thought.

Her mother's famous words ringing in her head.

Alex continued to sleep as Nicky tried to make herself feel normal in the bathroom.

Alex was dreaming of Piper. In her dream they were happy and there was no beef between them. She didn't want to wake up from her slumber, knowing that this bliss would disappear the moment she opened her eyes. She didn't want to see Piper go. She wasn't ready to face this day. However, as a sign from the universe saying she had no choice in the matter, she was quickly awoken by the sound of Nicky dropping something in the bathroom.

"Shit!" She heard Nicky cry out in the distance.

Alex's eyes fluttered open and squinted in the light. Her head was pounding as she just lay there against the pillow, looking out into the room. Her hand stretched out, lay against the warmth of where Nicky had just laid.

Alex counted to ten before she forced herself up into a sitting position. Her hand reached for her glasses and slid them onto the bridge of her nose, immediately bringing the room into focus. She felt hungover, but she knew that she wasn't. The pain in her body was not due to the few drinks she had last night but from the stabbing her heart had taken. She let out a deep breath as it all came suddenly back to her. The break up replaying in her mind, as Nicky came back into the room.

Alex pushed her glasses up onto her head and quickly brushed away the tears that suddenly threatened to fall.

Nicky's dark eyes met Alex's green ones. The two friends didn't exchange a word as they glanced at one another.

"What happened to you Vause? You look like pure shit…" observed Nicky as she ran a hand through her wild mane of hair.

Alex couldn't help but scoff at this. "I should be sayin' the same thing to you."

"What? I don't look that bad… I just brushed my fucking teeth!" replied Nicky, with her old grin playing on her face.

Alex smiled at her friend. It was nice to see her back to being her old self, kinda.

"So what happened?" pressed Nicky as she slowly made her way back onto the bed. "You came up here, crying and cuddlin' like I was a fuckin' teddy bear or somethin…'

Alex pursed her lips and looked away from Nicky at this. She was embarrassed on how she had acted and she had hoped that Nicky hadn't really noticed. She didn't like people seeing her vulnerable.

A silence fell over the duo as Nicky took a seat on the edge of the bed. They sat like this for a moment or two longer, listening to the sounds coming from outside.

"Piper ended it," whispered Alex,trying to keep her emotions at bay. Saying it out loud was making it final. That it was indeed over between her and Piper. "Fuck…" she sobbed as another wave of emotion came over her. The brunette looked up at the ceiling. She was trying to stop herself from crying and becoming a blubbering mess.

"Ah," murmured Nicky in realization. She nodded her head as her eyes studied her friend. It all made sense now on how Alex had been acting last night. Chapman had broken her heart. The blonde licked her lips, as her hand edged across the bed and took Alex's. The two friends didn't usually have still moments like this. They were close friends and would do anything for each other, but they weren't the touchy, huggy type of friends. Both women would rather laugh and made jokes than hug one another. So for Nicky to reach out and take Alex's hand like she was, was not a little out of character, but it did take Alex by surprise.

Alex looked up sharply at Nicky, who just shrugged her shoulders in response. It was a shitty situation that they both were in. Both friends had had their hearts broken.

A good moment or two passed before, Alex finally took her hand back and adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose. A long sigh, escaped her lips. Alex felt very anxious all the sudden, like she was in some sort of trap. This was not because of Nicky and the hand holding. It was more to due with the fact that she didn't know what to do with all the emotions she was feeling currently. A part of her wanted to cry and wallow in bed all day. Another wanted to get up and push through this, pretending that it didn't hurt to breath. But a third part, wanted to numb herself completely from everything.

This was the scariest part.

This was a part, she had long ago buried deep, deep inside of her.

"Do you have any drugs?" asked Alex finally meeting Nicky's eye.

The question was out of the blue and took Nicky by surprise. She stared at Alex blankly. She didn't know if Vause was being serious or just trying to pull a really bad, fucking messed up joke with her.

"I'm fuckin' serious Nicky…" stated Alex as she sat up straight, pulling her knees towards her chest. "Do you?" This question was out of character for Alex. But at the moment drugs were the only solution to her pain. Drugs had helped her in the past and that was all she was carving at the moment. To numb her pain and heartbreak. She just wanted a way to escape, just for a little while.

Nicky just grinned and shook her head. She fucking wish she had drugs, she thought to herself. She fucking wished. But she didn't. She had used up the last of her stash a few days ago. Hence her need to go cold turkey.

"I fuckin' wish, Vause…I do have pot though," smirked Nicky.

Alex raised her right eyebrow at this and smirked slightly at hearing this. Pot was the next best thing, she thought.

"Let's get high…"

Alex curled herself into a ball as she turned to face away from everyone else in the room and towards the wall. She was on the lower bunk. Her other cell mates where talking around her, but it all sounded like white noise, really.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to think about puking. It had been less than two days since she had been sent to prison on possession of drugs and her body was withdrawing. This was the first time that she could remember not being on drugs in years and it fucking sucked ass.

Her body was covered in a cold, feverish sweat. It felt like having the flu but hundred times worse. Her body rocked slightly back and forth against the prison-issue mattress. She was fighting hard the urge to be sick to her stomach. Her breathing was laboured as she tried to image herself anywhere but here.

She fucking wished she was somewhere else.

But no matter how hard she tried, Alex's thoughts always came back to the present and this shitty, shitty situation.

The air was cold and crisp as the two friends sat out on the patio, passing the bong between themselves. Neither of them said much to each other as they sat in their own thoughts.

Nicky blew out a ring of smoke, before passing the bong to the tall brunette seated beside her. Her dark eyes were closed, as she felt her body finally begin to mellow out.

Some would argue that marijuana use was involution of their sobriety, but not them. Nicky thought as pot as a much weaker drug or a stronger cigarette. It was something that had helped her stave off heroin cravings.

Alex's cannabis usage was less than her friend's. She used it rarely, especially in the last couple of years since being sober. She was afraid of getting addicted to it too, knowing it was still a drug. But she didn't care about any of that at the moment. The only thing she cared about was getting high and erasing a certain blonde image from her mind.

The weed wasn't the best, but Alex wasn't picky as she blew into the bong. It had been a good year or two since she had smoked up. So she wasn't exactly too concerned on the quality of the weed. As long as it did the main purpose of giving her some sort of buzz, she was happy.

Alex let out a giggle as she blew the smoke out the side of her mouth and handed the bong to Nicky. She was starting to feel the effects of the marijuana on her. She leaned back and half closed her eyes. This was good, she thought. Her problems and everything seemed like mere afterthoughts as a hazy blissful fog filled her mind.

She felt at home.

I know it was a little short, but I promise more to come soon. Just need to get back into the swing of things.

Thanks for reading and please leave a review.

Julie