It's been a week since I found out. You don't know what a week does to someone until you go through something like this. Sebastian suspects something is up, every time he's offered me a drink I make an excuse but he's caught on and he knows I'm up to something.
I really don't know what to do, I'm fucking so confused about everything. Annette's been over here almost every day keeping me sane strangely enough. She brings over stupid wedding plans and we sit for hours deciding dress colours and table cloths. She's somewhat comforting and maybe I'm a little glad she's been here.
Blaine on the other hand, he's called me every few hours even though he had his boyfriend over. He called me at 2am the other night because he knew I'd be up and he said that he woke up and just thought of me and he didn't even care that he had to get up in a few hours to see his boyfriend off, he called and we stayed on the phone for an hour.
Sebastian still doesn't know and each day that goes by I want to tell him. We argue about everything and sometimes I'll want to yell it at him so he'll just shut up but I haven't. I'm not stupid.
Annette walks in the door freely, today she's wearing black skinny legged jeans and a white singlet. She smiles and brings over a cup of hot coffee and bagel even though she knows I'll probably just refuse to eat it. I smile back, it's my way of saying thank you without saying it.
"You should eat. Even if it's not for you, Kathryn." She says.
I listen to her for some strange reason and take small bites out of the bagel as my cell phone rings. It's Blaine of course.
"Hey." I say.
"Hey, how are you this morning?"
"Fine. Annette's here. We're doing wedding stuff."
"Oh I bet you're having a grand ol' time picking out overalls."
"Shut up Tuttle."
He pauses and I know what he wants to say.
"No. I haven't. Not yet. I can't."
"Princess, you know I love you more than I can ever say but if you don't tell him soon he's just going to find out and be angry. You know how he gets."
"I know. I will tell him, Blaine. I just need it to be right."
"Okay. Well I'll call you in a few hours. I was just checking up. Have fun trying to make hay bales look stylish." He says cheekily before hanging up.
Annette doesn't even ask because she knows who it was. She just passes me a magazine with red circles around things and questions me with her eyes.
"I like the waistline and the trail, the cut won't do much for your breasts though, if anything it'll make you seem flat." I tell her.
"Well what if we use that waistline and trail with…" She flicks back a few pages. "That heart shape chest piece and…" She skips to the back of the book. "The skirt design on this one?"
I match the idea in my head, trying to picture it on Annette and when I do I feel proud of her. Because weeks ago she would have settled for a white plain K-mart brand dress with a horrible shape. Now she's on to bigger things, matching ideas from one dress to another and another.
"I'm proud of you Hargrove. I've taught you well. Let's go to my personal designer with this idea and see what he can do for you." I say, getting up.
Just as we're at the door Sebastian walks in and smiles at the two of us. He comes over and kisses my head, his hand brushing over my stomach as he passes me to place his briefcase on the table.
"Where are you two ladies off too?"
"To my designer. Annette has finally decided what dress she wants."
"I'd never thought I'd live to see the day where Kathryn Merteuil and Annette Hargrove are friends."
"Friends is stretching it Valmont. We're merely associates. Think of me as her personal designer and hired bridesmaid." I tell him, admiring his handsome face.
"Well, whatever you'd like to call it."
"Are you home for the rest of the day?" I ask, thinking maybe I can take Annette to my designer and come back home to talk to Sebastian.
"No, sorry. My client's wife went into labour just as we got in the board room this morning and he had to leave, so he's going to call me around 2 and see if we can't catch a late lunch."
Annette looks at me and then at Sebastian.
"Why can't he just cancel it for another day? Child birth should be something amazing shared between the two parents. I think he should be with his wife before, during and afterwards and not jet off after she's pushed the baby out." Annette says clearly meddling.
"That's practically what I told him! I told him we'll just make it for another day. I said that children are a gift and if my wife was pregnant I wouldn't even be at work, I'd take the whole 9 months off to be on her beck and call."
I cringe and bite my lip.
"Well, you never know. Maybe one day." Annette smirks. "Let's go Kathryn, I'm meeting Carter in 2 hours."
I wave goodbye and he smiles, I feel so guilty.
--
After Annette ditched me for Carter I went shopping for awhile. Amazingly you can buy a lot in just a few hours. I bought two new dresses, a pencil skirt, a few singlets, four pairs of shoes and some new lingerie even though I know I won't be able to fit into it in a few months.
My phone rings as I'm walking along the sidewalk and I expect it to be Blaine so I answer.
"Blaine, I'm fine. Shopping can do a lot for the mind." I smile, checking my newly manicured fingernails.
"What's wrong?" Sebastian.
"Oh, hey. I thought it was Blaine. He's been calling uh all morning."
"Why?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
I can hear him smirk.
"I must say you look fucking delicious from here. If I hadn't already had lunch, I would eat you for lunch." He says seductively.
"You're watching me?" I laugh. "Geez, stalker much?"
"I just finished my late lunch with my client, I was wondering if you'd finished with Annette yet so we could maybe spend some time together, I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."
"I've finished but I still have some things to do. If you're home early tonight maybe we can spend some time together. I have to go Sebastian, call waiting. See you at home."
He laughs and I finally spot him outside a café. "I love you."
I hang up and wave at him, turning on my heel in the other direction and dialling Blaine's number.
"Hello Mrs Valmont." He answers.
"Tuttle, I need to see you are you busy?"
"Not at all, Princess."
"Well I'm coming over. I'll see you soon."
"Okay. Bye."
--
I arrive at Blaine's not too long after talking to Sebastian, naturally I walk straight in and find Blaine smoking a joint in his kitchen.
"Hey." I say, standing a fair distance from him.
He looks puzzled at first as to why I'm so far away but then he get it. "Oh right, the kid. Sorry." He extinguishes the joint and comes over to me.
"How's baby Valmont?" He says in this sickly cutesy voice.
"Fine." I tell him.
I start pacing and picking at my fingernails, he watches me and finally stops me.
"Stop. You're ruining my carpet not to mention your shoes and it's causing you stress which can ultimately lead to a miscarriage."
"Sorry." I say, biting my lip. "What the hell am I supposed to tell Sebastian tonight?" I ask.
"You're going to tell him tonight?"
"Yeah. He's coming home at a half decent hour tonight. I thought maybe I should tell him."
"Well good for you Princess. It's about fucking time."
"I just don't know what to say."
Blaine brushes back hair from my face and kisses my forehead.
"Just tell him the truth, Kat. You're pregnant, his child of course and you're keeping it."
"What if he gets angry because I didn't tell him earlier?"
"He won't. He wants a baby."
"Okay. Alright. I should go home and wait for him right?"
"Yes but stop stressing. It'll be fine."
--
I get home and Sebastian's already there. He's sitting in the living room reading one of his treasured books. He looks adorable from here, his black rimmed glasses perched on his nose, deep in concentration.
He can sense me and he looks up. I smile and walk over to him. I sit beside him and curl up next to him, my head rests on his shoulder as he kisses my forehead.
"How was the rest of your day?" He whispers.
"Fine. I went to Blaine's. How was yours?"
"Yeah, alright. Managed to get some paperwork done."
Sebastian places his book on the table next to the sofa and gets up.
"What do you want for dinner? I was thinking we go out, see a movie, come home late, I don't have to work tomorrow."
"Sebastian we need to talk." I tell him, getting up and joining him in the dining room.
I grab hold of his hand and kiss each of his fingers.
"This doesn't sound good. Are we breaking up?"
I laugh half heartedly and rub my thumb against his cheek.
"Sebastian, I'm…well I'm…I'm trying to tell you that…"
"That you had sex with another man?" He says with a grimace on his face.
"No." I scowl, slapping his chest. "I can't believe you'd even think that! I'm pregnant you jackass."
His mouth opens slightly and he looks like he's been hit by a car (Excuse the reference to past memories).
"What? Are you joking?"
"No. I found out a week ago."
Sebastian's pretty, perfectly sculptured lips turn into a wide grin and he picks me up and captures my lips into a steamy kiss. I wrap my legs around his waist and smile into the kiss as does he. He eventually surrenders my mouth and holds me tighter.
"I love you Kathryn Valmont. I fucking love you."
"You too Sebastian."
He gives a little yell of joy and places me on the table. I laugh at him as he dances idiotically.
"How far are you along?" He asks, finally stopping and taking a deep breath.
"Just over 9 weeks."
He places his large hand over my flat stomach and rubs it gently.
"I can't wait to tell everyone. Annette will be ecstatic for us."
"Um, actually Annette already knows." I reveal. He steps back.
"What?"
"I told Annette. I didn't know what to do and I was so confused, it just came out. Blaine knows too and I'm pretty sure Carter as well."
"You told everyone but me that you were pregnant with our child?"
"Sebastian, please don't be angry. I was confused and I wasn't even sure I was going to keep it."
"Going to keep it? You were going to get an abortion without my knowledge?" He says, his voice rising.
"Yes but Blaine talked me out of it."
"And if Blaine hadn't have? You would have just gone ahead and done it and never told me about it?"
"Sebastian." I say, hopping of the table and placing my hand on his cheek.
"Don't. Do not Sebastian me, Kathryn." He says, swiping away my hand.
"I didn't do it. I still have the baby."
"That's not the point!" He yells. "You were going to murder our child and never tell me, it's like you don't even care about what I think Kathryn."
"I knew if I told you and I did decide I didn't want to keep it you'd refuse to let me do so. My only chance of having an abortion was keeping it secret from you. But I didn't do it!" I yell back, tears welling up.
"I can't see you right now. I-I-I just can't. I'm going out. I'll be home when I get home."
He picks up his coat and storms out of the house. I drop to my knees and sob to myself.
--
My phone vibrates against the cold marble of the floor. I stretch to reach it from my position against the wall and read the caller ID. Blaine Tuttle it says.
"Hi."
"Kathryn, where's Sebastian right now? Please tell me he's in bed with you naked and sleeping." He says, I can barely hear him over the loud music.
"No. I told him. I told him how I told Annette and Carter and about the abortion I was going to get and he got angry and said he couldn't see me right now and walked out. I don't know where he is."
"Shit." Blaine curses. "Shit. You're going to kill him." He cringes.
"Why? What's happened?" I asked alarmed.
"Just come down to the club that we usually go to." He says before hanging up.
I get up and order the driver to take me to the club. When I get there, there is no hesitation as to let me in. The security guard knows my face and he greets me and lets me through the velvet rope. I hurry in and immediately spot Blaine near the entrance waiting for me.
"What is it?" I ask.
"You're going to castrate him, shove his balls down his throat and then kill him." Blaine says.
"Why!?" I yell.
Blaine lifts his arm and points to one of those funky couches clubs have. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the change of lighting over there but when they do I know what I'm looking at and why Blaine said I'm going to kill him.
"I'm sorry Princess. I wouldn't have called but-"
"Don't be sorry. He's going to be sorry." I say, walking off and storming over to Sebastian.
Blaine runs after me, trying to stop me but even when he grabs my arm and attempts to hold me back he doesn't succeed. I stop right in front of Sebastian but he's too busy molesting the girl on the couch with him to notice me so I kick his leg, the same one that was injured after his taxi incident.
"Ah fuck!" He yells.
"Ah fuck!?" I yell back, questioning him as I kick him again.
His eyes look up in shock and I see him visibly gulp and get up.
"Kathryn. W-w-what are you doing here?" He asks.
"What am I doing here? What the fuck are you doing here Sebastian!"
The girl looks at me and possessively places her hand on his thigh.
"And you sweetheart need to learn to keep your hands off married men." I scowl, pulling his left hand up and shoving it in his face.
"Married? He ain't wearing no ring honey." She says.
I look at Sebastian's ring finger and discover she's right. He's not wearing his ring. I throw his hand down and for seconds I can't think of anything to yell at him.
"I'm s-sorry Kathryn. Please lets just go we can work this out at home."
"You bastard!" I yell, tears freely streaming down my face. I don't care that people have started staring or that the music has stopped or that I'm crying in front of people. "You lying, cheating fucking bastard. I'm having your fucking kid, Sebastian! I'm having your fucking kid!" I yell, Blaine grabs me around the waist and holds me back as I attempt to attack him.
"I'm sorry." He says, clearly holding back his own tears.
"I'm sorry for ever marrying you! Mother was right. Once a lying cheating asshole, always a lying cheating asshole. Don't come home tonight Sebastian because you won't be allowed in and if you even attempt to do so I'll call security."
"Kathryn please, we can work this out."
"No. No we can't, Sebastian. I'm moving out. Tomorrow I'll be gone, only then you can go home."
I turn around into Blaine's arms, he rubs his hand along my back.
"She's fucking pregnant with your child Sebastian. She doesn't even want it but she's still keeping it for you. Grow up some alright? You're lucky she even fucking married you after all the shit you pulled when you guys were younger." Blaine says.
He takes me outside and I breakdown. I breakdown in front of all the fucking pathetic losers outside. My legs give and I collapse in Blaine's arms right there, sobbing in front of every loser there.
"Kathryn I'm here. Come on. Let's get you home." He says, waving my limousine over.
In the corner of my eye I see Sebastian rush out of the club but I'm already in the limo by then.
"Kathryn wait! I'm sorry."
I bury my head into Blaine's chest and wet his shirt with my tears. He runs his fingers through my hair and on my back.
We get to my house and he walks me inside and up to my bedroom. He undresses me and dresses me in a nightgown tentatively.
"Do you want me to stay? I don't mind, really."
"No. Please, just go. I need to be alone. I'll just see you tomorrow."
He nods and just as he's walking out the door he stops and turns back. "You can move into my house, Kathryn. I have a spare bedroom."
I nod and he finally leaves me to myself. Once I'm sure he's gone I get up and go into the bathroom. My make-up had ran down my cheeks and my eyes were puffy and red. I bent down into the toilet and threw up my days food. Over and over I stuck my fingers down my throat until blood started to show. My throat was sore but I kept going.
Eventually I stopped crying and throwing up and layed on the cold tiles and fell asleep.
Sorry for the wait guys, stuff happens. Enjoy this and drop a review.