AN: I don't own Supergirl or any of the characters, but I do own JJ, Henry, Addy, Evie and all grammatical errors.
Not sure if anyone is still reading this or not, but I'm incredibly sorry that its taken nearly five months to get this chapter out; between my job (which left me unemployed for a month, because of the government shutdown), getting ready for our baby to arrive, my writing muse abandoning me and I really had to be in the right frame of mind to write this chapter, it took awhile.
This chapter comes from the request of a guest, who asked to see Maggie and Alex having a late night talk about when they were younger and how they felt about Vicki Donahue and Eliza Wilkie.
I currently have the next chapter halfway done, I hope to get it up before our baby arrives; my due date is March 16th, so I hope to get it posted in the next two weeks, but I make no promises.
After the next chapter, I will have three more request to fill, but one is a prompt that I want to save for a later chapter, as it needs the kids to be a little bit older. I currently don't have any ideas, so if there is something you would like too see, please request away, if I don't get any requests, it may be a ridiculously long time before my brain can come up with something.
I'll be honest, I took this prompt and pulled some things from conversations that my wife and I had over the years and how we felt/dealt with our own realizations that she was a lesbian and that I am bisexual. There is mention of suicidal thoughts. Before we met, this was a very real and painful moment in our lives; to admit, to talk about and to help each other heal from. If you are struggling and feel that suicide is the only choice, I promise that it isn't. There are so many people, who have felt that hopelessness and know what you are going through. You are never alone, even if you feel like you are. Please reach out to a hotline or someone you trust; I can promise you that there are people who will stand beside you, hold your hand and remind you that you are loved and your life is worth living. I hope I do this request justice.
Off we go, enjoy!
Maggie's POV
I make my way up our front porch steps and after working an eighteen hour day, all I want, is to take a shower and go to bed, but I am afraid of what will be on the other side our front door.
Don't get me wrong I love my family with all of my heart, but after spending the last month with the twins being at each others throats constantly, coming home from work, wasn't as pleasant as it once was.
I unlock and gently open the door, trying to gauge the situation that I will be walking into and what I find, catches me off guard and makes me relived at the same time. Having children ages one, six (times two), nine and a hundred pound dog, is a challenge in and of itself. There is never a moment in our house that is ever really quite , except tonight.
Tonight, it is almost eerily quite.
It's amazing how much you realize that you miss the silence and how much you enjoy it, until you can't seem to remember the last time you ever got to experience it.
I think that one reason our house is so calm, is the fact that this is the first night that the kids are finally settling into their new sleeping arrangements. After nearly a month of Henry and Addy fighting day and night constantly, we decided to move Henry in with JJ, allowing Addy to stay in her current bedroom and once Evie is two, we will move her in with her older sister. This new bedroom situation will hopefully get our kids back to the loving siblings they are and us to once again have a guest bedroom. Because as of right now, when Eliza comes to visit, she has to sleep on the couch and my parents to stay at a hotel.
But I would be lying if I said that moving the kids around was purely for their benefit, I have my own completely selfish reason. I am desperately hoping that now my wife and I will be able to have alone time, because for the last three weeks; we have had either Addy or Henry in our bed, purely to keep them from fighting all night along and allowing the whole family to get some rest.
I shut the door, double checking that the deadbolt locked, before heading to the kitchen to grab a beer. Checking the time, I take note that it's only seven- thirty and I'm surprised that I don't hear the kids stirring. With it being a Friday night, they get to stay up an hour later, meaning that they don't have to go to bed for another hour.
My ears pick up the sound of the floor above me giving a loud groan, followed quickly by a high pitch squeak, as someone moves around upstairs, more specifically in Alex and I's bedroom.
Since no one is downstairs, I decide to head up to see what has my family quite, so early in the evening. As start to make my way toward the stairs, a low whine comes from behind me and I turn to find "Supergirl" looking back and forth between me and the sliding glass door, with the most expressive "puppy dog eyes", that would give Kara a hell of a run for her money.
Her whining only increases, the closer I get to the door to open it and let her out into our fenced backyard.
"I hear ya."
When the door is open just enough for her to get her head out it, her body quickly follows and she takes off tearing across the yard from one side to the other. I realize, after a few minutes of watching her, that she in fact didn't need to go to the bathroom, she just wanted to play.
"You sneaky dog you. You know how to play me don't you." I say laughing, moving to sit down on one our lounge chairs, as "Supergirl" trots up the stairs and over to me for a pat on the head.
"You'd best take advantage of this moment girl, because I'm not sitting out here all night. You've got ten minutes." I warn, not like she can understand anything I say.
She takes off, completely missing the steps, with a giant leap and resumes running around the yard, like she's never had then opportunity to run before in her life.
"Maybe you do understand." I muse to myself, taking a long swig of my Blue Moon.
Even though it's not eight yet, it being early spring, the sun is fastly approaching the horizon, casting a golden hue across the sky and I decide to watch the sunset; seeing as I have only been able to leave work in the last two weeks, long after the sun has gone down and it being unseasonably warm tonight, why not take a moment for myself?
I hear the door side open and shut rather fast, making me turn my head to see who has come out to join me. I'm thrilled to see its Alex, who appears to have just gotten out of the shower, given the fact that she is only dressed in a long t-shirt.
"Hey you." She whispers, while she runs the back of her left hand across my right cheek, as she moves to sit down next to me.
"Hey yourself."
She turns her head toward me and drops a quick kiss to my lips, before snuggling into my right side.
"The house is awfully quite."
"The kids had big day and were nearly ready to pass out while they ate dinner, so I thought it would be best to go ahead and get them cleaned up for the night and by the time I got them in PJ's, they were out."
"Seems like you got cleaned up too and without me, I might add."
"You try giving Evie a bath after she's had peas and we'll see how well you fair in the collateral damage department." She playfully jabs back, tucking her head into the side of my neck and placing a lingering kiss to my collarbone.
"Hmm. I'd imagine I'd do rather poorly." I offer, bringing my beer up for another swig, only to have Alex swipe it from my grip and take along drink.
"I'd say so."
"Hey, go get your own."
"We're married, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine, is it not?"
"Not when it comes to alcohol."
"Agree to disagree." She challenges, handing me my drink back and I eye it suspiciously, taking note that it's now half empty.
"You owe me." I mumble, as I take a large draw, afraid that if she takes it away again, I won't have any left.
She doesn't say anything back and we settle into a comfortable silence, watching our hyper dog, chase after one of the kids soccer balls, before catching it and biting the hell out of it. In a matter of seconds the ball gives off a loud hiss, scaring "Supergirl" back up onto the porch, to bark at the offensive object.
"Hey! Stop! You're going to wake the kids." Alex orders, while getting up to usher the dog back into the house.
"You going to stay out here all night?"
"Come watch the sunset with me?" I ask, reaching my right hand out towards her and she makes her way back to me, lacing our fingers together, as we situate ourselves again.
Minutes pass and all too quickly, the sky has gotten dark. I tilt my head back to look up at the wide expanse above us and I wonder how I wound up here and got to be so lucky. That this incredible woman, wrapped up in my arms is my wife, the mother of my children.
"Do you ever think about it?" I ask, feeling Alex jerk slightly in my embrace and I realize that she was starting to dose off.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's fine. Think about what exactly?"
"About how we wound up here."
"I'm pretty sure we wound up here, because you were on my crime scene."
"It was my crime scene and you know it, but that's not what I'm talking about."
"It was totally mine." I hear her mumble under her breath, as she reaches across me, to grab the beer off the table and pull the blanket we keep in the top of the table out.
"I heard that." I banter, taking the blanket from her and taking great care to make sure that her legs are wrapped in it snugly.
"You asked if I ever thought about how we wound up here, what did you mean by that?" She asks, handing me the bottle and settling on her left hip, so that she can face me.
"I mean, do you ever think about Vicki Donahue? How you felt about her?" I explain, turning my body to face her and take quick drink, before handing it back to her.
"Do you ever think about Eliza Wilkie?" She questions back, finishing off the beer and reaching behind her to sit it on the deck.
"Not in years."
"What brought this up?"
"I don't know. We don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to." I answer, glancing down at my hands, that are fidgeting with a string at the corner of the blanket.
"I didn't say that I don't want to talk about it, you just kinda came out of left field with the question is all." She responds, reaching out her hands, to tangle them with mine, lacing our fingers together.
"I know that we have talked about this before, but we never have really talked about how we felt when we started to question who we were."
"Honestly, Vicki scared the shit out of me."
"What? Why?" I ask laughingly.
"You know that she was my best friend in high school and when we were freshman, the only thing that all the other girls could talk about was getting involved with a upperclassman. Her and I could have cared less about that in the begining, but as time went on, I noticed that Vicki was starting to think the same as the other girls, but she hadn't had any experience in dating, so she was clueless as to how to go about it."
"Ah, the good ol' days of young, clueless love."
"Exactly. In the middle of our sophomore year, she started dating this guy. He was a cross country runner and a complete dick, but she really liked him, so I faked liking him too."
"Of course you did, as any best friend would do."
"Anyway, they had been dating for a couple of months and she called me one night, all freaked out because he had said that he wanted them to have their first kiss at the winter dance in a few days. I rushed over to her house to calm her down and after staying up until like four in the morning, she said that she wanted to be able to do it right."
"Oh."
"She told me that we should practice kissing with each other, that all the other girls do it and I stupidly agreed."
"She was your first kiss, wasn't she?"
"Yeah, she was."
"How did I not know that?"
"Because, I wanted to forget that it ever happened and I wanted our kiss to be my first real kiss."
"Looking back, I remember thinking that after the first time we kissed, my feelings weren't strictly friendly, that I wanted more than to be just her friend. I was only fifteen, I didn't fully understand what was happening or what I was feeling, but I thought that regardless, I shouldn't have felt those things about my best friend."
"So that's why you pushed down your feelings for so long."
"I think so. After I started to have those feelings for her, I got scared and it caused me to start picking fights with her, over the most stupid of things, that ultimately lead to us not being friends anymore by the start of our junior year."
"I'm sorry that you wound up losing your best friend over how you felt, no one should have to go through that, especially when in high school. I know better than anyone, how that feels."
"Sadly you do know how it feels and what it's like to lose more than just a best friend over who you are. I'm so sorry that you do know." She comforts, leaning her forehead against mine.
"You know for a long time, I was so angry at myself." I admit, leaning to rest back against the lounge, but never losing hold of my wife's hands.
"Why?"
"I felt so stupid for admitting for how I felt about Eliza, because I knew how my parents felt about people who are gay. But I thought that they would still love me, regardless of who I love. I mean I'm their daughter, how could they ever not love their child."
"What made you decide to tell Eliza how you felt?"
"I thought that she liked me too and I knew that her parents felt the same way about gays, so I thought that we could keep it between us. I thought she was my friend, I never imagined that she would tell her parents about the card."
"Did you ever talk to her again, after that day?"
"No. When I went back to school the following week of being outed, everyone knew that I was gay and I was shunned for it. I saw her in the cafeteria, the second day I went back and she wouldn't even look at me. I still don't know how everyone found out, but I suspect that she told people."
"If you had talked to her, what would you have said?"
"Honestly, I would just want to know why."
"Why what?" She asks, reaching up to brush the hair that's blown across my face and lets her hand linger on my neck, her thumb rubbing in gentle circles.
"Why did she tell her parents about the card, instead of talking to me about it. I was honest about how I felt about her, was I not worthy of her being honest with me, that she didn't feel the same way? She knew my parents, she knew how they would react if they found out, but apparently it didn't matter enough to her, I didn't matter enough."
"She was never your friend, especially if she didn't care enough to talk to you and go to her parents instead."
"After my parents kicked me out, I spent nearly a year hating myself. At one point, I thought about committing suicide." I admit, tears clouding my eyes and I cast my gaze up towards the sky.
"Mags." I hear her breathe out brokenly, moving her hands back to mine, lacing our fingers together and gripping them tightly.
"I've never told anyone that." I state, looking into her eyes, finding them filled with such love and sadness at the same time.
"How close did you come?"
"Seconds." I answer around a sob, hanging my head in shame.
"Oh babe."
She moves to wrap me in her arms, pulling me to her chest and I sob like a child; finally releasing nearly twenty-five years of buried feelings.
"My heart breaks that you hated who you were so much, that you thought the only way to end the hurt, was to end your life."
"I felt like I was never going to be able to find someone to love me and that I'd never have a family again. I felt like I was worthless." I explain, leaning a way from her, so I can wipe my eyes.
"You have never been worthless, ever." She promises, stopping my hands and proceeds to wipe the tears from my face.
"I know that now, but back then..."
"Well now you know who my first kiss was, who was yours?"
"Emily."
"Really? You waited until college?"
"What? Is that so surprising?"
"Kinda."
"Well, we may have not been each others first kiss, but by God, we'll be each others last kiss." I vow, leaning in to kiss her lovingly.
"With everything that happened, would you go through it all again?"
"If it got me you and our children, I'd go through it every single day. The things that we went through, lead us here. They lead us to each other, to our family, to this moment."
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." She promises, moving to straddle my hips, the blanket falling to the deck and entwining our hands together in between us.
"Me either." I promise back, leaning forward to capture her lips in a heated kiss, while I break our hands apart, so I can roam them up her toned thighs and when I dip them under her shirt, my hands meet the bare skin of her ass and a strangle moan falls from my mouth, as I let my head fall forward to burry in the valley between her breast.
"Jesus Alex." I whimper, placing a light kiss over her hammering heart.
"What can I say, I was hopeful we would get to have some alone time. Can't say that I was planning on it being outside though." She jokes, grinding her hips down into mine, making my hands grip her ass harder and the new found pressure, makes her drag in a shuttering breath.
I rise my head up towards her, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss and I seek permission into her mouth with my tongue and she doesn't deny me.
"What if one of the kids come to find us?" I ask between kisses, even though she is still grinding her hips into mine and driving us both absolutely insane, the mothering side of us never stops thinking.
"Blanket. Get the blanket." She orders, working on undoing my belt and pants, while sucking on the left side of my neck.
I hold onto her hip with my left hand and with my right, blindly feel around for the blanket. I find the corner of it, pulling it up and around her hips; at the same time she manages to get my pants undone, urging me raze my own hips, so she can push them down my legs and in my haste, I raze them up so quickly, that she doesn't have time to adjust her position, making us grind into one another hard.
"Oh fuck."
"Holy shit."
When we can form a rational thought again, she pushes my pants down to my knees and has settled back down onto my lap.
In that moment, we pause to look at one another; silently exchanging things that can't be said with words.
"You have all of me, now and forever." She vows, framing my face in her hands, looking not into my eyes, but my soul instead.
"Even when my body is gone, my soul will still be yours." I vow back, reaching up to cup her face in my hands, running my right thumb over her bottom lip.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Love me."
"Always."
Making love to my wife under the stars, as we promise with our words, to help each other heal; and now with our actions we vow, that no matter what, we have and will always belong to one another.
These are the moments I live for now.
Thoughts?