Working in the "Outsider Program" meant that Eileen had to deal with a lot of strange types, it's really kind of amazing how many different kinds of freaks live outside and apparently want nothing more than to join actual society. But the two sitting at the other side of the table right now were probably the strangest of them all.
They insisted on going in together, which is technically forbidden, but it was early in the morning and nobody really cared. She's getting work done faster, who's going to complain?
The guy was the least odd of the two; a nervous person, grins a lot and apparently doesn't know how to write, judging from how he's struggling with the pen she gave him to fill out the personal form. He seems to know how to read, or at least he said he does, but not how to write by hand. Weird, very weird.
The woman seems to be writing normally, but there was something wrong about her, a disturbing atmosphere around that woman. Her tone of voice, rather expressionless face, and weird body movement…Eileen usually does other things to pass the time while the outsiders are filling the forms, but she felt like she couldn't tear her eyes away from the woman. Like the moment she'll look away, her skin is going to peel over and revel that she was some sort of alien monster all along. That thought was ridiculous, nobody heard anything from…"out there" in centuries, but there was definitely something wrong here.
"There, I'm done" the woman said, passing Eileen the form. The woman gave the guy a questioning look, and when he noticed that, he flinched and accidentally ripped a hole in the paper in with his pen.
"Sorry! Sorry! It's…well, it's not that bad, actually. It's just, just a little-" He said, and tried to show them that the hole isn't that big, tearing the paper in half "…Oh, well, that's, eh…"
Eileen looked at his form, his handwriting was just as incomprehensible as she feared "I…The good news are that it doesn't matter, I can't read a word you wrote" she said "And I doubt anyone else could, either"
"Why don't I write it for him" the woman said with a mocking smirk "I'm sorry about his behavior" she whispered in a tone of voice that made it obvious that she didn't apologize or cared if he heard her or not and snatched another form from Eileen's hand "we thought that maybe here in the city, he could live a normal life in spite of his…problem"
Eileen looked to the side, the whole situation suddenly got very awkward.
The woman kept on writing quickly, the guy kept trying to peak over her shoulder, like a kid trying to cheat on a test. She finished it much faster this time. Eileen took a quick look at the two forms.
"This says you're siblings" Eileen said "But-"
"Adopted" They both said
Eileen shrugged, and got up from her chair "I don't suppose you two actually have any sort of adoption documents, huh?"
The two shook their heads, the woman seemed rather pleased for some reason, Eileen sighed, what she should expect from the outside "I'll be back in a moment with your stuff" she said and went into the back room.
"So…we're, eh, actually going with the whole "sibling" aspect?" Wheatley asked after a brief moment of silence "I thought that you were just going with it because-"
"Because you were a moron?" GLaDOS said, looking at some of the papers on the desk.
"What? NO! No-well, yes, kind of….if you look at it like- NO!" Wheatley said "I mean, I guess it's kind of accurate…except for the whole moron thing. Because I'm not. Well, I guess that without it, all you said is 'because you were a', which doesn't really make any sense, but…but…"
At that point, the door to the back room was opened again and the government worker returned with two small pieces of paper "There you go. The actual wouldn't be ready for another week, but those should do the trick until then"
GLaDOS and Wheatley each took their papers; each had their picture, which the government worker made them take about 10 minutes ago, printed on. Wheatley was surprised when he saw what was written under name. GLaDOS noticed that and quickly got up and dragged the idiot to the door before he say something suspicious.
"C-?" he managed to say before GLaDOS elbowed him to make him shut up.
"Wait!" the worker said "if your brother really has a…problem" she took an empty paper and started writing "you should go in list him in th-"
"Oh, no. It's nothing like that" GLaDOS said "It's not like there's anything actually wrong with him. He's just a moron" she smirked and closed the door behind her. Leaving behind a very confused Eileen, who groaned in frustration.
GLaDOS kept on dragging Wheatley until they reached a quiet corner of the hallway
"Cuthbert Wheatley?!" he said, pointing at the name written on his placeholder I.D
"As I said, we're going with the adoption story, but there's no reason I should preserve your lack of understanding of human names" GLaDOS said "Just say that we kept the surname after the adoption."
"B…But…but…" Wheatley mumbled "CUTHBERT?!"
"Well, consider that a small reminder that all of this your fault" she said.
Wheatley mumbled for a second or two, thinking of something clever to say, before giving up.
They started walking down the hallway, leaving the waiting area for the and going to the next floor, which dealt with employment
" I…don't suppose that you have any information on how those things are supposed to work" Wheatley tried to change the subject "I mean, the way humans get jobs…I guess it's different than how it worked for, well, us. I had a LOT of jobs…and I never heard of anything like that. I mean, obviously it's not the same; they actually got paid for their bloody work. But…well, I meant different in that way, eh, also"
GLaDOS thought for a second. "The Enrichment Center would like to inform you that after an extensive research" she said in a monotone voice "We've discovered that a position as an Aperture Science Test Subject is the most satisfactory career possibility to someone of your talents and education level" After a brief pause she added in her normal tone "But that was from my 'lies' hard drive"
The Ex-A.I looked at her I.D. She decided to keep "Gladys Johnson" even though it was something she just came up. It worked well enough, and she never cared that much for names anyway.
They took a number and set down on a chair in the hallway, again. The groaned in pain for a second, the pain of sleeping in the street hasn't completely passed yet. Around them were about the same outsiders that waited with them for the , but also several pamphlets that highlighted several homeless shelters and soup kitchens.
"Huh, here's something we could've used earlier, y'know" Wheatley looked at one of the pamphlets "Couldn't they just hand them out in the…entrance to the city? It would've helped; at we would've had at least one comfortable night. Unless, it was there and we just didn't see it…it, it could happen" He chuckled.
"I think it just mean that this department doesn't have a high success rate" She started reading the pamphlet.
"phht! Yeah! And I'M the moron. What's the point of building this whole floor to help find jobs if they're just going to tell us 'here are some places that give you bloody useless stuff for free'. Seriously" Wheatley rolled his eyes "Not even humans are going to do that"
At that moment, like on cue, a loud argument broke out inside one of the rooms. GLaDOS started highlighting some parts of the pamphlet with her pencil.
She wasn't really highlighting, it was just to mess with the idiot. Even if nothing comes out of this, they could get a job as waiters, or janitors, or anything else. Even if they COULD really live on nothing but soup kitchen and homeless shelters, they will find a job. Jobs are important, they bring self-discipline , order and independence.
Well, if you want to be technical, "testing supervisor" is still a proper job, just because it's all done with a notebook and a pencil doesn't make it less of a job. In fact, I'm holding more jobs right now than ever before, considering I'm also a test subject.
GLaDOS knew that she was right, but she couldn't shake that nagging feeling that it still wasn't enough work. Was that…was that Caroline? It was sometimes kind of hard to differentiate which thoughts was her and which were Caroline's, but they were usually the thought who tried to make her go softer; Haven't you done enough already to the poor man? You should let him go. You already know what happens to humans if you rip their hearts out, do you REALLY need to set up a control group? Maybe you shouldn't put actual acid on this next test chamber. Those kinds of annoying thoughts.
Seeing Caroline as the harsh one was so strange, but she remembered she was a workaholic, so she shouldn't be so surprised. It was Caroline thinking those thoughts, no doubt about it.
On the other side of the hallway there was a small table with coffee and cookies, to eat while waiting. The little idiot was staring at it, his body was whining about not having breakfast, while his mind was disgusted at the thought of having to eat again. He got up and started checking which kind of cookies will be the least gross to eat, the body won this battle.
After eating a few cookies, he tried that "coffee" thing he remembered the humans worker if Aperture always drinking. He saw a few of them making it. Shouldn't be that hard. Just take the brown powder…thing, then add…Water? That white thing he's not sure what it's made of and pretty sure he doesn't want to find out? What with the little paper bags? Maybe he should ask he-NO! He can do it alone. Just add the water, yeah, that make sense, he'll go with that one. He tried to pour the hot water into his cup, only to spill it all over himself.
"GAHHHH! BLOODY-" He said, gasping from the pain of the very hot water.
"Do you need any help?" a random outsider, who look like a friendlier and smaller version (although not small enough, in Wheatley's opinion) of the father from two days ago, sitting near the table suggested.
"If humans really need water so much, why do they have to h-" He noticed the outsider "Eh- I meant…us! As in, we…I mean…help would be great! It will be brilliant"
"Okay…" the outsider quickly made him a cup and handed it to Wheatley, who took a big sip, just to suddenly spit it out in disgust. On the friendly's outsider's face.
"Oh! Ah, eh…" Wheatley chuckled "First thing, sorry about that, it's…that's the first time I tried this, and probably the last…but mistakes happen! You're not, you're not mad, are you? I mean…I have to go to do…" He started running and tried, unsuccessfully, to hide behind his chair.
The outsider just mumbled "weirdo" and went to the nearest bathroom to clean his face.
Wheatley stayed behind the chair for a few seconds before sitting back, proudly boasting about how he out-witted the guy to either GLaDOS, himself, the random girl that started regretting sitting next to him or the air, even he wasn't sure.
GLaDOS remembered coffee, or rather, she remembered half emptied paper cups scattered all over the floor while she was trying to stay awake at 2:00 AM, filling up documents for Mr. Johnson. The badly made, cheap kind of coffee that Aperture of the 80's could barely afford, and probably the same kind of coffee that's standing there on the table, waiting to be made. On the bright side, if she'll lose that battle against Caroline, at least nobody will be unpleasantly surprised.