Old habits.
A/N Thanks to Gertrude Fin for helping me with this chapter. I appreciate it :)
This chap has some semi upsetting content. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: Hasbro owns Transformers.
Ratchet grumbled at his current predicament; looking angry and confused. "How the slag do these work? !" He hollered out.
Sari giggled at the veteran. "It's just a crossword puzzle silly." She laughed as Ratchet put the stylus to the news data pad into the corner of his mouth. He really wasn't good at word play.
Ratchet was getting more pissed off that he couldn't get the riddle. 'Five letter word for someone who's incompetent.' He thought. 'Hmm...I know a thirteen letter name for that.' Images of Sentinel Prime flashed through his head.
After a megacycle, Ratchet gave up and put the data pad down. He had things to do. Most everyone was out of the city today. Optimus, Prowl, and Bulkhead had taken the space bridge to Cybertron and were guests at a new Memorial park for those who had lost their lives in previous wars; (Blurr finally being assumed KIA) Sari had just left with her Father and Bumblebee for a sci-fy convention in Chicago ten minutes ago; and Arcee was busy with something to do with Omega on Dinobot Island. That left him, Jazz, and Alexa in the base. He hadn't seen much of Alexa lately; she seemed to be busy with investigating Powell or enjoying a bike ride every night. She was usually gone before dinner, and would come back claiming she had eaten.
Alexa was watching a movie with Jazz nearby. She really wasn't keen on being away from Sari, but she had called ahead and set up sleeper security at the convention in case there was a problem. However, this gave her an opportunity; after telling her friends about Travis and reliving what she had been through, she had snapped inside. She tried to pull herself together after Jazz and Prowl caught her crying, but she couldn't. She knew it was dumb, and dangerous, heck, both things she was doing were; but this was her struggle, and she was doing it; like she had so long ago.
As Jazz finished his meditation, Alexa got up from the couch to get some water from the fridge. Seeing there was none, Alexa headed to the Medbay where they kept the extra bottles. Ratchet was doing something. "Hey Ratchet."
Ratchet turned around. "Alexa. Need something?" He asked in his normal gruff voice.
"Just looking for the bottled water."
Ratchet motioned to a storage closet. "Help yourself."
Alexa smiled. "Thanks."
As Alexa walked by, Ratchet saw her jeans were a little loose. "Didn't you buy those last month?" He asked with a semi-accusing note.
Alexa looked down to her sides before returning her gaze to the grizzled bot. "Yeah, this material stretches out if you wear it too much. That's what I get for buying cheap pants." Her insides contorted with guilt as she lied right to his face.
Ratchet didn't pick up on the white lie as he just shrugged and went back to whatever it was he was doing.
Alexa waited for evening before going to her room to change. She threw a loose jacket and pants over her outfit as to not tip off Ratchet and Jazz to what she was up to. She passed Jazz. "I'm gonna go out for a bike ride. I don't know when I'll be back."
Jazz smiled. "Ok, A." Jazz then got a closer look at Alexa's face. It was pale, thin, and her eyes seemed dull. "Are you feelin' alright? Ya look a little sick."
Alexa fought down some anxiety as Jazz pointed out what she was trying to hide. The two sides of her feelings hashed it out again. A part of her wanted to tell him her problems and plead for his help; the other side was screaming louder this time though. She needed to to do this, and he wouldn't understand. Besides, the very last thing she wanted was to drag her friends into her problems. "I'm feeling great! I'll be back later to kick your but in DDR!" She lied again.
Jazz chuckled as he watched Alexa head to the garage, and went back to his data pad.
Ratchet finished tinkering with things in the medbay and went to stretch his wheel wells out with a drive. He decided he'd go wait for Arcee at the pier.
As Ratchet stopped at a light, he saw the glow of headlights come the other way. It was very late, and in a seedy part of town. 'This driver must be up to no good.' Ratchet thought.
As the bike passed, the medic saw to his curiosity, that the bike was blue with white, and the rider had a familiar posture. 'Alexa?' Ratchet almost said it out loud. Alexa didn't see him as she drove on by.
"Where are you going?" Ratchet said softly to himself. The medic put on his directional and followed her. Alexa took him down side roads, and nearly forgotten neighborhoods until she came to the edge of town. An abandoned sports arena was here. Though it was supposedly condemned, it glowed with lights and chatter of people who were all clustered around motorcycles. The thought dawned on the medic that this was an underground bike ring. 'Oh, sweet Primus, not again!' He moaned inside his head. Quickly thinking, Ratchet snuck around the side and entered the arena, posing as an unofficial ambulance. The competition kicked off, and the medic groaned again when he realized what the giant earth mounds were for. 'Stunts. Will she ever learn?'
Alexa rode into the arena an hour later to do her routine. She started with some handle bar stands, followed by a few aerial bike somersaults. The crowd roared and Alexa savored it. When she was here, when the adrenaline coursed through her veins, all her troubles melted away. Until she returned to the real world; but, she was dealing with that as well, although her common sense objected it.
-Flashback-
Alexa left her room and headed to the rec-room. Jazz or Prowl must've put her in her bed after she had fallen asleep crying. It still hurt though. Her heart was breaking, and guilt cracked down on her. She shouldn't of left him alone. Travis didn't have to die for her. She blindly made herself some toast; No one else was up yet, and she always ate before they did. As she thought about Travis, she became more and more convinced that what happened was her fault. She needed to pay for what she did; she needed to be punished for Travis's death. Alexa walked to the trash can and threw her untouched toast away.
-end flashback-
Alexa warmed up for a final, and dangerous stunt. She put her bike at top speed and went off the jump. At sixty feet up, she back flipped off the seat and grabbed the rear fender. She was about to pull herself back onto the bike when weakness gripped her. Alexa felt dizzy; the ground now twenty feet and closing fast. She once again tried to find strength, but instead, her body performed a mutiny; her grip let go.
Ratchet watched it slow motion. Alexa hit first, followed by her bike. She tumbled and rolled uncontrollably until she smacked the retaining wall. Her bike landed on its back wheel, bounced, and was about to land on top of her! Ratchet reverted to bot mode so fast he almost broke something. His arm magnets flew out and shot a magnetic field to catch the cycle just in time. He set the bike down, and drew his EMP gen. He aimed it at the stadium generator and shut it down. The darkness would let him get Alexa without causing a scene.
Ratchet ran to Alexa and gingerly picked her up. She was unconscious from hitting the wall. With expert precision, he transformed around her, placing her on his built in gurney. He then tore off for the base, leaving the mass of panicked street riders. He arrived in record time, body shuddering and huffing from his speed. Transforming again, he carried Alexa to the medbay. As he passed the rec-room, Jazz looked up, and in a nanoclick, was by his side.
"What happened? ! Is she alright? ! Ratch, how bad is she? ? ?" Jazz was panicking.
Ratchet saw that Optimus and the others from Cybertron were back, and so was Arcee. They all bore a worried expression at the limp form in the medi-bot's arms.
"I don't know yet. She was in an accident. Hit a barrier pretty hard. No one go into to the medbay unless your offlining!" Ratchet rushed Alexa inside and began a diagnostic. The scan showed broken ribs, bruised shoulder bones, a badly damaged wrist, and maybe a concussion. Multiple scratches were present that didn't show up on the scan, and were oozing warm red trickles.
Ratchet sighed. "Kid, what are you thinking?" He mumbled, knowing he wouldn't get an answer. Ratchet took out some medical supplies for people and began patching up the agent. He was just finishing up tying Alexa's wrist when he noticed a red stain on her shirt. 'Must be seeping.' He thought.
As carefully, as he could, Ratchet rolled up Alexa's shirt, and immediately recoiled with shock and confusion. The gash wasn't deep at all, but Alexa's torso looked terrible. Her hip bones stuck out a great deal, her skin stretched taut over her clearly visible ribs, and her muscles were depleted and sad looking.
Ratchet was trembling as he ran the possible scenarios in his helm. It soon hit him; Alexa had lied about her eating when out, and he hadn't seen her eat at the base in over a week! She was starving herself.
For the first time in a long while, the medic had to sit down. His medical knowledge gave him more information to fill in the gaps about what was the probable cause. His spark almost broke to think about this. A new wave of emotion gripped him. Ratchet put on a determined face and walked out of the Medbay.
Optimus rushed to Ratchet. "That wasn't a fender bender. What did she do Ratchet?"
Ratchet looked past Prime to Bulkhead. "Go see her. Let me know when she wakes up." Bulkhead left as Ratchet cycled some air. "No, it wasn't a car accident. She was doing underground stunt competition again. However, right now, we've got a bigger problem."
Before Ratchet could explain, Bulkhead came back. "She woke up a few cycles ago. She says she's fine."
Ratchet turned on his pedes and went to the fridge. Rummaging for a second, he pulled out what he wanted and went back to the medbay without another word. Alexa was awake, and twiddling her thumbs, clearly nervous about being caught with her motorcycle. That wasn't what Ratchet cared about though.
Alexa was scared as Ratchet walked up to her berth. He looked down before placing something on her lap. "What's this?" Alexa asked.
"Pizza. What does it look like?" The medic's voice grated like sandpaper.
"Uh, thanks, but, I had dinn-"
"Don't lie to me!" Ratchet barked; his optics flashed anger, and...hurt. Alexa was stunned silent. The red and white mech continued. "I've seen Alexa. What ever bone-headed notion wormed its way into your head, it ends this astrosecond. Your going to eat that, and I'm gonna make sure you do if I'm here all night." He crossed his arms and waited.
Alexa's eyes widened and she pleaded with Ratchet to not make her do this, but her cries fell on muted audios. Shaking, Alexa picked up the pizza slice. Her stomach uttered a guttural rumble as the odor wafted across her nose.
Ratchet watched Alexa take a bite, followed by another, and one more. Her facial features contorted into a pained and depressed look as Ratchet looked on, stony faced. She went to take another; her hand shook, and she paused.
"I CAN'T! !" She cried. She threw the pizza back on the plate and curled up into a sobbing ball. "Y-you just don't get it Ratchet. You can't understand." She quietly forced out.
Ratchet's spark ached for the poor girl as he sat down next to the berth to be eye level with the teen. His voice found it's most loving and tender tone as he spoke sadly. "I do. I know what it's like to loose someone you love. You blame yourself, and would do anything to take their place. What happened to you is terrible, and I know 'cause I've been there. You didn't deserve what happened; but you can't blame yourself. If I've learned anything, it's that those who love you would want you to be happy and healthy like we do." He gently turned her head to his face. "I can't help you unless you let me."
Alexa saw Ratchet's face. It was so spark broken. The rough exterior had vanished and she saw a gentle, caring mech who was pleading for her life. Alexa nodded. "Okay." She whispered.
Alexa picked up the pizza and finished it. Ratchet smiled as she did. "Good girl." A hint of encouragement and hope in his voice accompanied his tiny smile.
Ratchet's expression faded and was replaced with his professional demeanor again. "I'm gonna keep you in the medbay for a few days. Your not to exert yourself until you clear it with me. Understand?" Alexa nodded. Ratchet smiled. "Good. I'll have you on your feet in no time."
Ratchet left the medbay when Alexa had fallen asleep. He was swarmed with concerned Autobots. He pulled the adult bots aside and explained what Alexa was going through. Jazz couldn't speak; Optimus looked very upset; and although it was hard to see, Prowl's visor reflected his concern.
Arcee broke the silence. "That girl's been through so much. The poor dear...Ratchet, how can we help?"
Ratchet faced his fiance. "Right now, I think she just needs to know she's loved."
All the bots nodded. They'd see Alexa through. It would be a long fight, but knowing is half the battle.