Day 119:
Have I ever mentioned how weird it is that I have to breathe? I'm dead right? Being an angel doesn't change that fact. If anything, it enforces it. So why do I have to breathe? It's just something that has been bothering me recently as I've traveled to the RG these past couple days. The air there is just so much more crisp and clean (even if it is an overcrowded city) and so much more alive than in the UG that it's almost disorienting when crossing over. I don't belong in that pane of reality… but I can't find it in myself to stay away.
But there really isn't any reason to explain why I've been escaping into the RG as of late. The Game is still going on. Tomorrow is the last day and I'm not even sure if there will be players that even make it to that point. I don't want to see the Reapers nor do I want to see the players' panic as they go about today's mission whatever the heck it is. There's also Ryota. I've been trying to find out a little more about him but that's hard. No one remembers him after all…
I think I found his family or at least a group that looks like him. They've been frustrated about something and the tensions seem high. I know all too well what's causing it. They don't remember Ryota, their son, brother, and friend. They have no idea who he is. But the evidence of him is still there. Pictures, documents, his room. It's all there. I realized it after I found his gravestone.
It's going as well as you'd think for them. It's tearing them apart and they don't even know why. They'll never know why. I sneaked into their house one day (one of the perks of technically being a ghost here) and found that they were an average family. Middle class, happy. Ryota played soccer in school. There were a few medals and a trophy or two to showcase his talent. A few drawings were pinned up done by a younger sibling and a family photo showed a group of five: mother, father, older sister, younger brother, and Ryota. Something tugged painfully in my heart but I ignored it and moved on. Those feelings have grown constant since I started observing the Takazumis. I don't have the slightest clue why.
I stopped in his room. It was an absolute mess. Things were ripped from the closet and drawers. The covers were thrown off the bed and the books were tossed off shelves. The posters and CD's were torn and broken. The family's search… They had tried to figure out who this person was to them.
Something had to be done about this… They were suffering and confused and they could never know why. It's not allowed. His entry fee is lost for good.
I can fix this though. I can make their pain stop. I can end the confusion. I can keep them from falling apart. But… I don't want to. I don't know if I can. Sure, I have the power but that's not the problem. It's going to be letting go.
Ryota's already died and been erased. I don't want to even think of having to make him disappear entirely.