Ella clung onto Jimmy as they rode. Night had descended quickly and she knew they would soon stop. She was beginning to dread it, the more time she had to dwell upon what Jimmy would expect her to do the more she didn't want to do it. She thought she'd left that part of her life far behind, she had stopped being a Dove when she married Dave and she had no desire to return to those old ways of giving herself to men who didn't care anything about her, only wanted her body and the pleasure it offered to themselves.
She knew she'd acted rashly with Joey, slipping into bed with him on many occasions even though she had no word of God to tell her it was acceptable, but she had loved Joey… or thought she had, and surely that counted for something even in a preacher's eyes, surely it was better than giving herself to anyone. She bitterly wished that Joey was the man she held onto now, that it was Joey she would bed down with, the familiarity of his face, his voice, his smell … even his touch would be more than welcome instead of the man she now rode with. She had once honestly convinced herself that there would be no one else other than Joey; she supposed many women made such an oath to themselves when they thought love had claimed them. It seemed almost ridiculous now to think of such a promise, so many things changed in life, feelings, death… even Joey.
She began to wonder if she could get away as soon as they stopped, if she could run or if she was very lucky steal his horse before he knew what was happening but no such plan could work and she knew it. Jimmy would not be so foolish as to take his eyes off his prize, he'd risked his own life to bring her with him, lingering longer than he needed to bundle her onto his horse, he would want his reward and he would take it from her willingly or not.
Finally Jimmy slowed the horse and chose a spot to make camp. He aided Ella down first before dismounting. He wrapped a large hand around her wrist and dragged her behind him as he gathered bits of wood. They soon had a fire warming them that was not large but would at least keep the night chill out of their bones. Jimmy had little food with him apart from some strips of dried beef, everything had been left at the camp including a delicious smelling stew. He gave Ella some of the leathery meat and they washed it down with plenty of water.
The meat was tough and didn't hold much flavor but it would at the very least stop the constant complaining of her stomach until she could get a real meal into her, maybe Jimmy would take them to a town and even buy her a meal. The thought was only appealing for a moment, she quickly felt disgusted with herself, it would be a form of payment if he bought her anything after tonight. She felt wretched and angrily scolded herself that perhaps she should just go back to being a whore, it was the only thing she'd ever been any good at and now Joey was gone… she hated him and loved him all within the same breath, the feeling was like torture to her own mind. How could she feel anything for a man that had wrapped his hands around her throat and squeezed? She had no answer, she only knew that she could not force her feelings away and now more than ever she felt like she was betraying him as if she were betraying her own husband, it felt wrenchingly wrong to her gut to be with any man other than him but she didn't have a choice… did she?
She mulled over her own musings. Perhaps choices were over rated; after all it had been her own choice to go with Joey. The feelings of remorse at betraying Joey she knew were really just her own guilt and her own reluctance to follow through with a situation she had brought down around her. The muddle of thoughts brought both comfort and uneasiness.
She felt Jimmy's eyes upon her and looked up, his gaze was already marred with desire, if she wanted to get out she had to think of something fast.
"So, who do you think did all the shooting back there?" She thought if she talked perhaps she could think. She winced a little as the cut on her cheek let out a crackle of pain caused by the movement of speaking.
"I already said." Jimmy said not taking his eyes off her. "Call."
The name sent an unpleasant jolt through her body. "You mean Captain Woodrow Call?"
"I reckon it was." He said with a slow nod, his eyes travelling over her body.
Ella's mind reeled, Call had been this close all along, did that mean Joey was close too? Her heart gave a soft thud within her chest as hope began to flicker. Perhaps he was tracking them right now. She inwardly shook herself, knowing she had to keep Jimmy talking and his mind off her.
"Do you think he'll come after us? I mean he was after Mox Mox, maybe he followed." She paused. "Maybe we should ride some more, give ourselves a good lead."
Jimmy's eyes came to rest upon her face and his expression was one of humor, he obviously thought she was no more than a simple thing. "No, Mox was right, old Call will be taking those brats to the nearest town."
Ella knew this was true, Call couldn't be expected to bring two young children along on his chase. Her mouth felt dry as she searched for more questions.
"Why did you ride with Mox Mox? You don't seem like the type that enjoys burning people."
"I'm not, but Mox saved my life once so I stayed with him, I didn't care about his burnin' as long as we robbed trains and coaches too, I'm in it for the money and fame." His eyes shined a little at the last word.
"Fame?" Ella questioned furrowing her brow and feigning more interest than she felt.
"Yeah." Jimmy said grinning. "I've been in the papers; they said we were the worst gang the West has ever seen!"
"Well that's quite an achievement." Ella gave a small smile. "What were you before this… I mean before you joined Mox Mox's gang?"
"I just wandered from place to place, they call me 'Quick Jimmy' you know." He stated proudly. "Because I'm so fast with my gun and knife."
Ella nodded. "It's a good name to have."
They looked at each other over the dancing flames and Ella could see the conversation had not changed his mind, he still looked at her in that telling way of want and need.
"Maybe we should get some sleep?" It was a hopeful request. "We can find a town tomorrow and I'm real tired."
Jimmy laughed lowly. "I did not bring you with me so you could sleep Anna."
Ella stared at him a moment her mind working at a rate that meant she couldn't fully understand any of her thoughts, she was beginning to panic and the fact she knew this only made the feeling worse.
She glanced around. "Out here?" She said in forced disgust. "But there's sand everywhere, it won't be much fun!" She declared returning her gaze back to him. "Wouldn't you rather wait for a comfortable bed? It'd be more enjoyable I reckon."
"I've never cared for beds, ground is good enough for me so it'll be good enough for you too." He grinned again and pushed himself to his feet.
"I thought you liked me!" Ella whined in her sweetest voice.
He came to sit beside her and Ella couldn't help the slight flinch that his closeness caused. "I do like you, that's why you are not dead or back in the canyon."
"If you liked me you'd at least wait till we found somewhere better than the ground."
His hand wrapped around her shoulder and Ella could feel her heart begin to thud hard. She could fight or allow it to happen, those were her choices now and she had to pick fast. Before she could gather her thoughts Jimmy had made his first move, his lips founds hers and tried to kiss her passionately but Ella recoiled at the contact, a sick feeling welling and seeming to worsen as his lips pressed against hers.
"I thought you liked me." Jimmy laughed mockingly, before he again tried to kiss her.
Ella pushed her palms against his chest not quite registering what she was doing, she supposed some part of her had decided that her choice would be to fight.
"Don't." She finally muttered. "I don't want to." The words sounded pitiful to her own ears and she knew they would carry no merit with Jimmy, he wouldn't care, men like Jimmy never did.
"Stop being coy." He said forcing his body forward, his hand sought her breast and once more Ella pushed against him, but Jimmy just laughed at her as if she were playing a game and tried his luck yet again. As his hand pulled at her skirt Ella could feel her anger building, or perhaps it was desperation… she couldn't quite tell and she let a hard slap fly against his cheek. The blow stopped him for a moment but Ella instantly regretted her actions, she should have known better, every time she had ever lashed out at a man it had normally always ended badly.
Jimmy did not say anything, his hand flew but not in a slap his fist was closed and the blow sent a shiver of pain through her head as he hit her squarely on the side of her jaw. She was dazed for a moment and it allowed Jimmy enough time to force her to lie back. When she finally gained control of her body she began to struggle, she scratched at his face only to be met by another blow and then another. These nearly knocked her out fully and her head swam. She was hazily aware that she was bleeding but she didn't know where from, she only knew that she could feel the warm blood trickling across her skin. Her thoughts flashed up that she'd look a real mess by morning with these new wounds combined with the one's Mox Mox had inflicted… if she saw morning.
She could feel darkness trying to enclose her, she even thought that it may be better if it did swallow her so she couldn't feel what was happening, so that she could just slip away into a place where she was safe and warm, where no cloying fingers grasped at her flesh. But she wouldn't allow it, she wouldn't give in. She had resolved to fight and once she got her senses back she would fight again even if he hit her. She was tired of giving in, so very tired and to fight back would feel good to her soul, if it meant her death then so be it because… she was so very tired…
It was then that she realized that Jimmy's weight was no longer upon her, perhaps he had stood up to loosen his britches. She still felt groggy and weak, like her limbs were made of nothing but water but she knew she could at least try to fight back. She closed her eyes willing her strength to come. She felt hands wrapping around her upper arms and she lashed out, a feeble scream of anguish erupting from her very core.
"Ella!" The voice that had been shouting her name over and over finally broke through.
Slowly she opened her eyes, her sight was blurred for a moment but it quickly cleared well enough for her to see. The face before her swam a moment and she furrowed her brow trying to make her mind work.
Finally she pushed out a word. "Doc?"
The face before her smiled and Ella felt her emotions give way. She descended into gasping sobs as the full ordeal of everything she had been through since leaving Ojinaga flooded over her, her fingers digging into his clothing, using him as an anchor to steady her thoughts and a life which seemed to have spiraled out of control.
Doc pulled her into his arms and cradled her for a long while as she let her tears fall. His heart ached almost to the point of breaking at finding her in such a state. He could hardly believe his eyes when he'd seen she was a prisoner of Mox Mox. He had fired shots at the Indian as he walked over to her but his aim had been off, the man was too quick and Doc dared not chance shooting as they rode away in fear of injuring Ella. He had left Call to take care of the children and ridden after them, determined to rescue her if he could. He had rode fast and hard for many miles, finding Mox Mox dead from one of Call's bullets, by morning he guessed the body would be frozen and he was glad the Manburner was dead. He knew that the Indian and Ella must have gone on, their tracks were easy to follow and he also knew they would be heading towards the nearest town, safe in the knowledge that the children would prevent any pursuit from the Texas Ranger… but then they hadn't seen him, only Call. The Indian had been about to take her against her will when he finally caught up. But it seemed that Doc would not have to shoot him, more's the pity. The man was already upon his feet and running for his horse the moment he detected that someone approached, he probably thought it was Call and did not want to be caught by such a well known man, Call's reputation earned respect and fear from such men.
"It's okay." He cooed as Ella clutched at him. "I'm here, it's okay."
Finally her tears lessened and she pulled back from him, her watery eyes studied his face. "Is it really you?" She questioned, she knew it was a foolish thing to ask, of course it was Doc.
Doc smiled his warm smile and Ella felt her heart lifting at the sight. "It's me." He wiped gently at her cheeks with both his thumbs. "Let's go sit by the fire, let me take a look at your face."
His words made Ella aware that her face throbbed painfully. She hoped that the injuries weren't too bad but it already felt as if one of her cheeks was twice the size it should be.
He aided her closer to the fire so that they could both get warm, Doc looked cold, he must have been riding through the night for many hours she thought. He fetched one of his saddle bags and pulled out a clean cloth and a bottle of whiskey before examining her face intently.
"He got you good Ella." He said in a whisper. Indeed the Indian had hit Ella quite hard, enough to cause another nasty cut upon her cheek, and one near her left eye, both ran freely with blood and Doc knew that she'd have a black eye by morning. He tried to fight back the anger that boiled within him, that wanted to go after the man that had done this and shoot him dead, or worse, he could think of worse… But Ella needed him and he would not leave her, this man would have to wait and if Doc ever crossed paths with that Indian again he'd make sure he paid.
Although Doc seemed like a respectable man on the surface, during the Lincoln County War riding along side Billy the Kid had taught him much and he knew many ways to kill a man and what different gunshots would cause. Doc had always been a quiet man, he didn't like violence but he lived in a place where using your gun and fists was more useful than knowing how to recite poetry or talk of historic time lines. He had quickly learnt what he needed to and he always got done what needed to be done. He had even begun to enjoy the outlaw lifestyle after the war was over, riding with Billy was thrilling but nearly losing his life at the ambush at Stinking Springs that day many years ago had quelled such feelings and after he had escaped and Billy had been killed he longed for something more, for a family, children perhaps even a small farm… a wife… he had always wanted Ella to be that woman from the first time he had laid eyes upon her at Jane Greathouse's boarding house. It didn't matter to him that she was a Dove, she made him laugh, she was beautiful and she had a light about her, one that never seemed to dim even in her darkest times. He'd been drawn to her, then forced to watch as Dave swept her away like a great wave taking all his plans and wants. He had resented Dave for it but had resolved to stay by Ella, his love for her had never dulled and as he became aware that her light had begun to waver he could no longer keep silent. He had never thought she would accept him, he was no desperado like Dave, no reckless outlaw anymore but she had kissed him back that day in the small Mexican village and his heart had soared.
Even if he had to work until he dropped he would find the money to allow Ella to gain a divorce and if after that she chose him, to be his wife, he would work hard once more to make sure she never wanted for anything and that light she held never wavered again.
"It feels like it." Ella mumbled pulling him out of his thoughts. She gave a low hiss as she touched one of the cuts. "Guess I shouldn't have fought so hard."
Doc nodded. "You always did bite off more than you could chew." It had been meant as a jest, but it held too much truth in it and he could only manage a weak smile to accompany his words.
She tried to smile too, but winced as the cut on her cheek pained her again.
"Here." Doc said pouring some of the whiskey onto the cloth. "It'll sting some."
Ella braced herself and flinched as the stinging sensation the cloth and alcohol brought burned through her for a moment. Doc cleaned her face as best he could, gently wiping the blood away and dabbing at the cuts until they stopped bleeding.
"You'll have some nasty bruises come tomorrow." He offered her the whiskey bottle the only thing he could give her as pain relief.
Ella took a long hard swig before she returned her eyes to him.
"What are you doling out here? How did you know I was here?" She asked the warming liquid numbing a little of the pain she felt.
"I didn't." Doc gave a small smile. "I'm part of Captain Woodrow Call's posse, we were tracking a Mexican bandit for a railroad company, he's been robbing trains… but Call decided to break off and follow Mox Mox once we came across his tracks."
Ella tried to hide her surprise at the name of Call and the fact the icy hand of fear brushed against her, was Call onto Joey? The thought pulled her in two directions.
"Where is your Captain?" She asked looking about them, knowing he wouldn't be anywhere near them, he would be with the children but still she couldn't help herself, she feared him, feared him for Joey's sake and for Maria too.
"He took the two children on to whatever town is nearest."
Ella nodded and then looked at him again. "What are you doin' in a posse?"
Doc laughed, it was a warm sound. "I told you I was goin' straight, I got myself a job as a deputy."
Ella smiled at him with surprise and a little hint of teasing. "A Deputy?!"
Doc laughed again a little embarrassed.
"Well, I never expected that." She said with amusement.
"What about you Ella, what are you doing out here?" Doc asked. "You never replied to any of my letters, I felt kinda sore for a while cause of it." He glanced at her his eyes sparkling with what Ella could only describe as want, not desire, it wasn't hungry… she supposed it was fondness, caring and the thought made guilt rear ugly and hard within her.
"Letters?" She said her mind settling upon his words. "I never got your letters!"
Doc looked puzzled. "But I sent you one every week, that'd make at least five… I asked you to reply an' let me know if you wanted me to come and get you, I never heard back an' when I enquired of someone from down that way they told me you'd left the village." He paused. "I thought you'd changed your mind and decided to stay with Dave, I know Dave wanted to move further up the border towards New Mexico way."
Ella hesitated, she didn't want to tell him or she couldn't, but she steeled herself knowing she had to, knowing it would only lead to more questions, questions she didn't want to answer. "Dave's dead." She whispered.
"Dave?" Doc said startled.
Ella nodded slowly. "He was killed a few weeks after you left."
"By who? What happened?"
Ella felt slightly irritated by his questions, even though she'd known they'd come. "It doesn't matter." She mumbled. She glanced at him knowing she must have sounded a little hard. "I'm just really tired Doc."
"That's okay, you should rest." He went to his horse and pulled out two large blankets. He laid one on the ground and Ella climbed on top of it, he joined her and then pulled the other blanket over them. He lay back and pulled Ella closer to him, not because he wanted to feel her against him but because he wanted her to feel safe, to know he was there and would not allow anything else to happen to her. Ella welcomed the contact, it seemed so long since anyone had held her close in such a way, she remembered Tessie snuggling up to her as she took a nap on Maria's bed, this reminded her of that feeling of belonging and warmth. She let her head rest against his shoulder and listened to his soft, even breathing, it was not long before she was in a deep sleep.