Chapter 35 Sakura's Secret

When Sakura first step foot on the ice, Eriol smiled. He knew that she was going to nail it. He had practiced along side Sakura for months and he knew that she was ready. Now that the short program was already out of the picture, he knew that she was going to pour everything she had on her free program. The moment she told him that she would give his song justice, he knew that her determination was speaking to him and no longer her fear.

Tomoyo held her breath, anxious at her friend's final presentation for the day. Then, the real show was to begin. She wasn't sure if she was anxious of seeing her skate or because Tomoyo knew what was going to happen later after the competition was over and done with. She couldn't help but smile.

Ryu, he had seen how Sakura had poured her heart out to this competition. He was really proud of her for being able to reach this far. He still had to admit though that it hurt like hell but he knew that it was the right thing to do. Somehow, it made what he felt inside lighter, like it was really what he was supposed to be doing.

Touya, for the first time, was seeing his sister's escape. He had been against this whole thing when she had proposed it over dinner but ultimately supported her anyway. At that moment, it seemed that he was watching her pass through the refiner's fire. The past months had been a trying time for her. He was the first to know her pain and had seen her break down a couple of times. Watching her skate on the ice now was like watching her break free.

Yukito, he had always been there for Sakura. She was always like a sister to him. He could remember the time when she confessed of her childhood, innocent love. A smile would always come to him. But as their friendship grew, she treated him more like family than anything else. He had always given her the same affections. It was hard doing nothing as he saw her grief, her problems. She let him witness her strength as much as her weakness. He never told anyone but he knew that somehow Sakura felt that Yukito blamed himself for what happened to her at the French embassy. She had been trying to convince him otherwise ever since. Now, being able to witness her skate and compete was like a treat showing him that an imperfect person like her could be perfect being herself, going through the black, the white and the grey things of life.

Shaoran, for the past months, he and Sakura had drifted apart without him even realizing it. He had missed having his best friend and he had been so absorbed with thinking of how he was feeling and trying to walk on fair ground that he failed to see the real extent of her suffering. She had suffered alone because of him. Having admitted to himself and slowly to everyone around them that he was in love with Sakura, watching her go out there was like watching a very delicate, rare flower blossom. She had grown into this wonderful young woman right before his eyes. He hadn't even noticed at first. His heart waited in anticipation on the grace and beauty that she was sharing with everyone. Shaoran had only had a glimpse so what she could do on the ice. With that small glimpse, he was impressed. Now, watching the product of months of hard work, he was expecting to be blown away. His breath was already taken the moment his eyes caught sight of her, more when she smiled at him. Now, his beloved cherry blossom was spreading her wings.

The song started slowly, very delicate and heart-warming. Sakura skated with much grace like a ballet dancer. Her emotions were shown from her face to every inch of her body. Suddenly, the song shifted. The tempo and the instrumentals became lively and fun. It just grabs at you. The way she skated and danced became more powerful and precise. All the moves that she had picked up from Koji Mikagami and practiced with Eriol with were now being incorporated into the program.

Eriol knew from the way she skated that she was having fun and that she was indeed giving her best, not really minding if she was going to fall or not. The others could see it too. Her jumps were high, confident and strong. Her twists and turns were delicate yet firm.

As she started with much softness, she finished with such vigor that truly showcased her real personality on the ice. All throughout her free program, she didn't see anything but she felt everything. With only the song Eriol made for her in mind, she just let herself go. She had zone out everything around her and found herself only at the light. It was a liberating feeling, a special treat that she had earned after months of uncertainty. It was the first time she felt so free in such a long time.

When the music ended and Sakura finished her performance, she heard this thunderous applause. She smiled and took a bow. More than ever, she was relieved that it was over and she could breathe. She skated back to the where she entered and was hugged by her Coach. She was being congratulated by her as she was handed a bouquet of flowers. Before she settled beside her Coach to wait for her scores, she allowed her gaze to drift to where the others were seated. She gave them a big smile and blushed when they were congratulating her, especially Shaoran.

They waited for the results. To be honest though, Sakura wouldn't really care less. She was content knowing that she gave her best and her friends and family were there to share it with her. That was all that she could ever want. She didn't really care if she ranked or won or something. As long as her hard work for all those months paid off and she was able to deliver a presentable piece to all of them, with that, Sakura already felt like a winner.

As the monitor started flashing the scores from the different judges, Sakura really didn't see them nor did she hear anything. She had put everything off. The next thing she knew was that her Coach was hugging her again and there were tears in her eyes. Sakura seemed stunned and confused. That was when she heard the applause and cheer from the crowd. She stared at the monitor again and it registered that at that she had earned the top spot for the free program. It was still an on-going contest and there were still some skaters left but it was a surreal experience. She smiled and bowed again before she had to leave and head back inside.

XxXxXx

Back at her dressing room, Sakura's Coach had left her to change while she attended to some stuff, checked on the others. Sakura savored the new found silence in the room. It had been crazy especially during the last couple of days that it was nice to just sit back and be alone for once. She sat there in front of the mirror. She looked at herself and smiled. She still couldn't believe what she had done. It was both a relief and a triumphant moment. She closed her eyes and listened to the silence.

Soon a knock was heard from the door. It was a good thing that she had already removed her skates so she was able to answer the door. She smiled when she saw Tomoyo there.

"You were amazing, Sakura!" She said as she entered and hugged her friend.

"Thanks, Tomoyo." Sakura replied as she took a deep breath and added, "I'm just glad it's over. I don't even mind the results. I'm just so relieved that I don't really care about anything else."

They both sat down again. After a moment, Sakura stood and said, "Well I guess I better change. You don't have to leave." She then headed to her bag and took out fresh clothes.

"Sakura, can I ask you something?" Tomoyo then said. She secretly had clicked on her phone to signal Eriol outside. Sakura turned to her and nodded before heading into the comfort room and leaving the door ajar a little bit.

A knock then was heard. "Tomoyo, do you mind getting it?"

"Sure. No problem." Tomoyo then opened the door and let Eriol and Shaoran inside.

"Hey Sakura. It's me. You did great out there!" Eriol called out.

"Thanks, Eriol." Came Sakura's voice from the comfort room.

"Well I'll let you change. I'll come back later." Eriol said as he left the room, leaving Tomoyo and Shaoran inside.

Upon hearing the door close, Sakura then asked, "So what's the question about, Tomoyo?"

"Are you in love with Li-sempai?"

"Huh? What? In love? I love him, yeah, because he's my best friend. Of course, I love him. I wouldn't have done what I did if I didn't at least care for him."

"But it's more like a best friend thing?"

"I guess you can put it like that roughly. It's just he has always been there for me my entire life and well I thought that who am I to stand against his happiness? I could never do that to him. He deserves better than that."

Tomoyo looked at Shaoran and then proceeded as planned. "So do you hate Li-sempai?"

"What?"

"Do you hate Li-sempai? It's just…he must have done something to make you avoid him and not talk to him even before you two had that confrontation at the stairway. Ok. Maybe it's for happiness and whatever but there's always a way without going into extremes. Did you hate him for making you choose like that?"

Sakura giggled a little and replied, "Of course not. I don't hate him. I could never hate him. It's just became complicated, that's all. Besides, he's not like that. He wouldn't do something to make me hate him."

"Then what happened? It's just us girls here."

"Promise you won't tell a soul?"

"Of course. You know me, Sakura. I don't go around telling everybody people's secrets." Tomoyo replied as there was a momentary pause from Sakura.

"Ok. But before that, can I just say that removing this glittery, silver and gold make-up is awfully hard." Sakura said making Tomoyo laugh. It worked, Tomoyo mouthed towards Shaoran. He smirked.

"You remember when Shaoran and Rika-san first broke up?" Came Sakura's voice.

"Yeah?"

"He didn't need to tell me. I could see it in his actions. I knew. I also knew how devastated he was because Shaoran's the type who would never hurt another on purpose and he's really loyal. So of course I had to wonder why Rika-san suddenly broke up with him. I confronted her and well…I found out that I was the reason." Sakura explained but stopped.

Both Shaoran and Tomoyo seemed surprised. They looked at each other. Shaoran figured that she was probably blaming herself for what had happened the first time but he hadn't known that it was rooted on more facts than that. She had basis to go on. They waited patiently for Sakura to continue.

"As it turned out, it looked like I was Shaoran's girl friend and she was the best friend. When she told me that, I understood. How can I not? I mean, if I put myself in her shoes, I would probably felt the hurt that she did and would have done the same." Sakura continued.

"Oh Sakura…" Tomoyo commented, finally putting everything together. Shaoran wasn't that far behind with it as well.

"So without really thinking about it, I blurted out that if I stayed out of the picture, would she give Shaoran another chance? She nodded. So I agreed just like that. I just asked her to give me time to say goodbye. So after, I called Shaoran and asked him to meet me at Central before Eriol's concert last spring. We spent the whole day together, even meeting Eriol and everything but I couldn't do it. I couldn't say goodbye. When I told him good night, I resigned myself that that was it. So that was it." Sakura explained.

Shaoran closed his eyes. Tomoyo could only guess what was going through his head. It was a revelation that was really hard to swallow. It was something that wasn't easy to hear.

"If I was presented with the same situation or I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't have done things differently. I would still do the same thing without thinking twice. I mean, he's with Rika. I know how much he loves her and with that, I know that he's happy. I could never want it any other way. All I want is for him to be happy,"

Shaoran knew that it was the moment he was waiting for. It was time for him to speak up. There was no more time to waste. He blurted out, "No, Sakura. We are not together anymore."

(to be continued…)

I suppose you guys can guess where this is heading? Hehe. But can I just say that this, I mean the events of the entire chapter are the very details of a dream I had that became my inspiration for this entire fic. Well anyway, thanks for reviewing and reading this far. I hope that you guys still continue to send in what you think. Thanks,

Michiko