I still don't own Chuck.
I was going to write a warning that there is a fairly explicit sex scene in this chapter. Then I realized that the story is rated M. So the scene is actually fairly mild by those standards. Again, this is one of those times that you're going to have to read the whole chapter before you go nuts, lol.
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Inadequate
x-x-x-x-x
Sarah stood on the dock shading her eyes against the early evening sun. That must have meant that they were heading west, into the area where the Caribbean Sea met the Gulf of Mexico. She watched the yacht steam away until it was only a speck on the horizon. Finally it disappeared totally. She had this awful sinking feeling in her stomach that she couldn't explain. Well of course she could explain part of it. Chuck was in some danger. Not only that, she wasn't going to be there to protect him. But that really wasn't it and she knew it. His plan had worked perfectly so far, just like she told Joey it would. The danger was minimal. This drug running scumbag was actually scared to death of him. You could plainly hear it in his voice. Besides, even if he was in danger, Laura and Joey would make sure that Chuck was safe. They were both as badass as they came.
Okay, so he was going to spend the night in bed with two beautiful women who were both going to take great pleasure in mercilessly teasing him by flaunting their naked bodies in front of him. But even that wasn't it. Chuck would die before he would even consider cheating on her. She had zero fear of it. And yes, both Laura and Joey had the typical agent's 'any' view of sex… any time, any place, any position, with almost any body. But even they would know that Chuck was off limits. Sarah didn't fear that either.
It wasn't even that this would be the first night they would spend in different beds since… well, since that magical night in her hotel room when they finally got together. Well if you didn't count that night when she made him sleep on the couch. Normally thinking about her life with Chuck, and specifically her sex life with Chuck, would have brought an involuntary smile to her face. And yes, she didn't need a therapist to tell her that she used sex with him so much because she felt inadequate. It was that obvious. Fortunately he didn't seem to mind… about the sex anyway. He was even getting to the point where he could talk about some of her wilder ideas without exploding from embarrassment. And thinking up wild sexual scenarios to make him happy had become her favorite daydream, one that she was going to more and more often. It was her happy place.
Still the feeling of dread wouldn't go away. Sarah was more than comfortable on a mission. In fact, it's where she felt most at home. Her spy instincts were finely honed over the years. She fully trusted them. And they had never failed her, had kept her alive in all of those ridiculous situations where the odds of survival approached zero. What she wasn't sure of was how much she trusted her wife instincts.
Luckily her long time partner was standing there, by far the best partner she had ever known. He would obviously recognize that she was struggling and come to her aid. After all, he knew her pretty well and knew that she needed some comforting. Well, maybe not.
"What has happened to you?" Casey asked in disgust. "Has the great Sarah Walker really fallen this far? Has she really turned into this lovesick little girl who cries because she won't see her boyfriend for a day? It's depressing."
Normally Casey making fun of her would have perked her up and inspired a biting response.
Not this time.
"He's not my boyfriend," she said sadly. "He's my husband. I'm not Sarah Walker. We've had this conversation about a hundred times. My name is Sarah Bartowski."
"I know," Casey said. "But right now we need Sarah Walker. And we need her on top of her game. Today is playtime. Beckman is not fucking around here. After tomorrow things get hard."
Sarah didn't answer his unasked question. "Let's get something to eat and find a place to sleep," she said as she finally turned away from the setting sun. "Tomorrow's going to be a busy day."
Josh stood off to the side and watched their interaction carefully. Casey clearly didn't get it, didn't recognize that she was struggling with something far bigger than being separated from her husband for a night. And that wasn't surprising. In the one day he had known Casey it was clear that emotional support wasn't his strength. He shot the bad guys. There was no criticism involved. He did that well. And honestly Josh had to admit that he didn't know what Sarah's specific problem was yet either. But he knew that it was important.
He also knew that he needed to find out.
x-x-x-x-x
It was pretty clear that Rock was afraid of Chuck. That was an amazing concept. Rock was too stupid to be afraid of almost anybody. It was actually refreshing to see this bag of pure concentrated macho be so unnerved for once.
The first thing that Laura did once they were on the ship and Chuck and Joey were comfortably in their room was to get Rock alone. "What do you want me to do?" she asked.
Rock wouldn't meet her eye. Laura had to actually bite her lip to keep from laughing at his discomfort. "Make him happy," he finally said. "I'm sorry to ask you to do that. But we need him happy."
Laura smiled at him. "Don't be sorry," she said. "You know that I would gladly do anything that you ask me. I've always begged you to involve me more in the business. Thank you for letting me help. I'll fuck his brains out. I'll make him forget his own name. Tell me something. Are we going to double cross him tomorrow? Should I try and distract him somehow?"
Rock's response was immediate. "No way," he said with a sigh. "This guy is far more powerful than you realize. He's connected to the right people. We need him as a friend. He could really help us. Besides, we're getting an incredible deal here. He's doing us a huge favor. I don't want to do anything to change his mind. He needs to be happy."
That was excellent news. It meant that they would have surprise on their side tomorrow when whatever they had specifically planned went down. But Laura also took full note that he was using words like 'we' and 'us'. That was certainly different. It was almost a little sad that the assignment was over. It was just starting to get easy. Not that she felt sorry for Rock in the least. She was having fun seeing him shaken, was eagerly looking forward to putting the bullet between his eyes. And she had already found out what she needed to know. So she decided to have a little fun and twist the knife a little. "You're jealous," she said with a soft smile. "That's cute. There is no need to be jealous. It's just meaningless sex. I'll be back with you tomorrow night."
"I know," Rock said with a long sigh. "It has to be done. That doesn't mean I have to like it."
Laura moved in for the kill. "I've never been with another woman before," she sighed. "I was hoping that my first threesome would have been with you."
Laura had to turn away to keep him from seeing her smirk at his devastated look. Poor guy. Oh well. He'll be dead soon.
x-x-x-x-x
Chuck was obviously trying to stretch dinner on the front deck for as long as he possibly could. He clearly was reluctant to take Joey and Laura into that cabin for the night. Under other circumstances, Chuck might have called this the best meal of his life. The filet melted in his mouth. But tonight he barely tasted it. For one thing, for any meal to qualify as best of his life, Sarah would have to share it with him. And she was probably eating her normal greasy fast food cheeseburger.
Naturally his teammates recognized that he was uncomfortable and made every effort to make this as easy as possible for him.
Well maybe not. Laura and Joey sat on either side of him. Both were wearing their barely there bikinis. Neither lady was particularly modest under the best of circumstances. But tonight their tops were tied so loosely that they were on the very edge of being irrelevant. Each had a hand softly rubbing the inside of his respective thigh. They were both slowly but surely going higher and higher. The gleam in their eyes clearly said they had planned this beforehand to tease him, knew exactly what each other was doing under that tablecloth, and were enjoying themselves immensely.
After his steak was gone, Joey actually reached over and popped a grape into his mouth with a grin, then another. The symbolism of a beautiful half naked woman feeding him grapes was painfully obvious. "Well, Daddy," she purred. "We've put this off long enough. Maybe we should take this into the bedroom."
As soon as they were in the bedroom, Laura stood off to the side out of view and conspicuously pointed out the camera hidden in the wall that was aimed directly at the bed. Her unspoken message was clear. This was the worst case scenario that they feared in their planning session. They were being watched. It meant they had to stay in character for the entire night.
Joey could instantly tell that Chuck didn't know what to do. In their planning session, talk about this particular scenario was short and awkward. Clearly Chuck didn't want to have a very detailed discussion about the uncomfortable topic in front of Sarah. Joey always knew that his plan of simply turning off the lights and throwing out some fake moans wouldn't work. Whoever was watching would see through that in a second. Standing here only reinforced that feeling. And Sarah had dragged her aside and made it abundantly clear that Chuck didn't have good spy instincts, and that she was expecting her to take whatever actions were necessary to cover for him if things went south in any way.
Well, Joey wasn't sure Sarah was necessarily talking about this situation… but the camera was definitely a turn towards the south. So she took the lead by pushing him on the bed with a wink. Whoever was watching was clearly expecting to witness a kinky ménage a trios. So why fight it? It was time to give them a show… and honestly maybe tease the hell out of a clearly uncomfortable Chuck a little. So she sauntered up to Laura with a clear twinkle in her eye. "It is clearly show time," she said. "Let's unwrap the present that our host gave Daddy." She slowly pulled on the strings of Laura's top until it fell away and to the floor. It would have been just as easy for Joey to untie the strings on her bikini bottom. But instead she looped her thumbs in the waistband and made a big show out of kneeling and slowly easing them down her incredibly long legs.
If Laura was surprised at all by Joey's aggressiveness, she sure didn't show it. And she sure wasn't going to be the only one here wearing only a smile. Joey was clearly expecting her to reciprocate. She even turned to face Chuck so that when her top came off, he would have the same unobstructed view of her tits as he just had of Laura's a moment ago. Laura made Joey's bikini hit the floor in the same manner and just as quickly as hers had.
As soon as Laura had Joey naked, Joey turned to Chuck with a grin. "What's next, Daddy?" she asked as she reached up and cupped one of Laura's breasts, playfully rolling the rock hard nipple between her thumb and forefinger. "Maybe a little girl on girl show for your amusement? She definitely appears to be more than willing. You're calling all the shots tonight."
Chuck didn't answer. He just sat there trying to hide the fact that he was turning several shades of red.
"Okay, Daddy," Joey said as her grin turned a little sinister. "I get it. You're putting me in charge again. I like that. Maybe we'll save the show to prime the pump for round two." She turned to Laura and pretended to flip an imaginary coin. "Call it in the air," she said with a grin. "Heads or tails?"
Laura really wasn't sure what Joey was up to, but she was more than willing to allow her to take the lead. "Heads," she said with her own grin.
"You got it," Joey said. She stepped over to where Chuck was still sitting on the bed and dropped to her knees. "I guess that means I have tails."
Suddenly Laura understood what she was getting at. She had called heads. So she sat next to Chuck, put her hands behind his head, and pulled his lips to hers. Chuck was clearly surprised and just as clearly not very comfortable, but he really couldn't fight too much. For one thing, he was paralyzed. He couldn't blow their cover with that camera pointed directly at him. For another, he was pretty much overpowered. Laura quickly had both of his hands occupied, her fingers firmly intertwined with his, so he couldn't do much physically to stop what Joey was doing. He also found that his mouth was covered by hers so he couldn't issue any verbal protest. So Joey really didn't have all that much trouble sliding off his swim suit. Once it was off she playfully held it up for his inspection, twirling it on her index finger for a bit before tossing it across the room. It was now official. Chuck joined the two ladies being naked.
Chuck clearly wasn't totally comfortable how this all was playing out, but whatever will to resist that was left was also clearly fading fast. So he relaxed and allowed the inevitable to happen. Joey took advantage to gently but firmly push his knees apart and get busy. After only a few seconds of that action it didn't require all that much coaxing to get him to open his mouth and give Laura the full access she was seeking. She guided one of his hands to her breast and resumed the long kiss. It didn't take long for the hand that she was holding to her breast to start to gently massage it all on its own. So she returned her hand behind his head and pulled him in for another kiss. "That feels so good, Daddy," she moaned. "You have a nice touch."
Laura glanced down to where Joey was currently bobbing her head in a slow, soft rhythm. Who was he kidding here, he was hard as… well, Rock. She lowered her voice so that only he could hear. "Don't worry about anything," she said as soothingly as she could. "This is for the cover. It's what Sarah would want you to do. Do you really think that she hasn't done this about a thousand times? No man on earth could withstand what Joey is doing to you and not react. It's not a betrayal to be aroused. She'll understand."
Laura paused for a moment to allow him to fully concentrate on Joey doing her magic. She was frankly surprised at how well endowed he was. In fact she found that she was honestly a little mesmerized by the erotic sight of him sliding in and back out of her mouth. She didn't hardly ever get to witness this act from quite this perspective. "I know that Sarah has tried to not rub your face in this," she finally whispered into his ear. "But she hasn't been being totally honest with you. She's afraid, Chuck. Afraid of how you'll react if you really knew how wild she gets on missions. All spies do, sweetie. It's what we're taught, what we're made to practice over and over in training, it's what is required of us. You can't allow the mark to think that you're not into it. That would be fatal. So you make yourself get into it. Besides a lot of the time it's the only release we get for months at a time. We're only human too, Chuck. There is only so much you can do for yourself. A vibrator is no substitute for a real man."
Laura paused for a long moment deciding how much to say. Finally she decided to tell him. "She made me swear not to tell you," she whispered. "But Sarah and I did almost this exact tag team thing in Peter West's office last week, well except that I was where Joey is for the first round. But Sarah got her turn. She was moaning pretty hot and heavy when he was fucking her on top of his desk. Why do you think that she was arguing so hard for you to let her go to his room that night? So you have nothing to feel guilty about. Just let go. This is actually a good thing for you and Sarah. Now you both know how exciting it can be. There's no longer any need to pretend with each other. That's how I am with Seth. Here is a fact of life, Chuck. When you are on missions she is going to fuck other men. And you're going to fuck other women. Thinking anything else is pure fantasy. Not only is it fantasy, it eventually gets you killed. So if that's true on missions, why not all the time? If you're going to be married to a spy, you either need to learn to embrace it or allow it to destroy you."
"Oh God," was Chuck's only answer as he allowed Laura to resume the second base necking, this time with much more intensity.
"I want you to admit something to me," Laura said between kisses, still so that only Chuck could hear. "It feels kinda exciting to be forced into being wild, doesn't it? Fucking two girls at once is something that you would never do on your own, even before you met Sarah. We both know that. Wild sex with no guilt is one of the few pleasures a spy gets on a mission. Why do you think that Sarah is always trying to get you to do wild things with her? Why do you think that she asked you to ravage her yesterday? She misses the missions, Chuck. She misses the excitement of having no choice."
Laura smiled as she realized that Chuck had unconditionally surrendered and was now more than actively participating. In fact his hand had drifted from her chest to between her legs. So she shifted her hips to give him a better angle, opened her knees a little, and spent a long moment just enjoying what his finger was doing to her. "You're very good at that," she said. "I can tell that you're getting close. Don't try and fight it, we have all night. I think that you can feel that you're getting me pretty close too. This is the first time that I've been forced to fuck someone that I actually like. I'd even say love, but we both know that I'm not allowed to love. So this is all pretty intense for me too. In a few minutes Joey and I will put on our little show for the camera and to help you recover. I don't know about her, but fucking another girl is something that I would never do on my own. But I have to admit, being forced to do it is something of a turn on."
Laura paused for a moment to kiss him as her own breath quickened noticeably. It was an odd kiss given the circumstance, far more loving than lusting. "For round two I'll take Joey's spot," she finally whispered. "That's something I've been imagining doing for you every since we first met in your room in Vegas that night. Joey looks like she is doing a reasonable job. Clearly it's not her first time. Her enthusiasm counts for a lot. But I'll bet you'll say that I'm better, even better than Sarah. We'll find out soon enough. You do realize how competitive we are. There aren't many things that I'm better at. But blowjobs are my specialty. I was good at it before I even became a spy. But the things I learned at the academy… wow. Everyone says so. It drives Sarah a little crazy every time she looses to me. If you're smart, that's something that you'll now be able to use against her whenever you're in the mood for her to hit her knees. Bryce was never smart."
Laura pulled back a little to evilly grin at him. "You're welcome," she said. "You can maybe pay me back by returning the favor and replacing your finger with your tongue later tonight. Sarah says that is something you're very, very, very good at. I've been looking so forward to finding out for myself ever since she told me that. That's something that spies don't get very often. Marks usually don't think in those terms. Given the current plan, I'll probably have to judge later tonight who is best too. I don't know Joey's history… but I'm betting on you. Please don't disappoint me."
Laura finally stopped talking as the first wave of climax hit her. It was just as well. Chuck had probably stopped registering what she was saying anyway.
"Oh God," he moaned as he could feel the pressure of his own orgasm building. He took his free hand and placed it on the top of Joey's head. She immediately got the hint and went even deeper waiting for her reward.
"Oh… God."
"Oh God!" Sarah sat up with a start in the dark. It took a long moment for her to realize where she was, in the motel suite where they were spending the night. It was one of those dreams, the ones that seemed so real. It took an even longer moment to convince herself that it wasn't.
Josh was quickly softly knocking on the door. Casey was in the other bedroom. That meant that Josh drew the short straw and was camped out on the living room couch. "Are you okay?" he asked. "I heard you crying."
Sarah took a long moment to catch her breath and still her shaking hands. "I'm fine," she finally said. "Just a bad dream. I'm sorry that I woke you."
Josh opened the door a bit. He totally understood about an agent's bad dreams. Joey had them fairly regularly. "Don't be silly," he said. "Do you want to talk?"
If Josh knew Sarah at all he would have known that the last thing that she wanted at this point was to talk, especially to a man. She was embarrassed. Her bed clothes were wringing wet. She was instantly ashamed that even in a dream she would subconsciously question Chuck's loyalty to her. But Josh's question was apparently rhetorical because he was already sitting on the edge of the bed. "You seemed troubled earlier," he said. "If this is about Chuck, I have to tell you. I've talked to him. The man makes no bones about it. It comes though in his every thought, every expression on his face. He honestly worships you."
Sarah had zero doubt about that. It was so clearly true. But there still wasn't anything that she needed to hear more at this point. "I know that he does," she said. "But he's not a spy, doesn't think like one. He's had to put up with a ton of crap that no husband should ever have to put up with. And for the record, he doesn't worship me half as much as I worship him."
"Is that why you feel inadequate?" he asked gently.
Wow. Talk about a bull's eye. Sarah was stunned into silence for a long, long moment at how he had just nailed her. Was it that obvious? It must be. She could feel the tears filling her eyes. "He thinks I'm inadequate?" she asked trying hard to keep her voice from breaking. It was her worst fear, the one she kept pushed down deep.
Fortunately Josh quickly burst that fear like a balloon. "God no," he said with a laugh. "If you understood how intensely he feels about you… Sarah, I didn't say that Chuck thinks that you're inadequate. I said that you think that you're inadequate. And that's frankly silly."
"I don't think I'm inadequate," Sarah finally said. "I'm sure that I am."
"The record stands corrected," Josh said with a smile. "It's still pretty silly. I wouldn't worry too much about Chuck. When you're in love like he is, you don't see issues as crap. And every single human has issues, Sarah. He'd love to help you through your issues. In fact you couldn't possibly give Chuck Bartowski a better present than to open yourself up to him and let him see your demons up close and personal. You're not fooling anybody. He knows that they are there."
Sarah paused for a long moment. "Some of my demons are pretty ugly," she finally said, so softly that he had to strain to hear her.
"The uglier, the better," Josh said. "Chuck loves you, Sarah. He would kill for the chance to help you. You want him to feel secure? You want him to trust you? Prove to him that you worship him. Do the thing that he knows is the hardest for you. Open up to him, allow him to see you at your core, and let him help you. He's pretty amazing. He can slay those demons for you if you would only let him. Don't allow your fear to get between you."
Josh sat there and pretended to not notice Sarah trying to wipe the tears from her eyes for a long, long, long moment as she considered the truth in his words. It was time to let her off the hook a little. "One more thing," he said. "Joey is just teasing. You know that right? That's just her way. She is a tease at heart. She teases me mercilessly. But she is also a nice, good person. At one point she was maybe making it a game to see how far she could get with him. But now that she knows you she would never, ever actually touch him. She really admires you, sees you as larger than life. You're her hero, who she wants to be like when she grows up. It killed her to have to set you up like we did. She sobbed all night thinking about him hitting you while you were helpless. I think that my shoulder is still a little wet. She filed a formal complaint against him at the agency. She is also reasonably insecure herself. She actually doesn't think that she's pretty. A word from her hero would go a long way."
That actually turned Sarah's mood around a little and got a smile. "You really love her," she said. "Don't you? That's pretty obvious. Is there any chance that you would ever… I'm sorry. I don't know much about being… um…"
"Gay?" Josh finished her thought.
"I'm sorry for the way that might have sounded," Sarah said. "It was a stupid question. I'm seriously not trying to be offensive."
"You're not being offensive at all," Josh said with the smile in his voice plain. "It was an honest question. I think of Joey as sort of like my kid sister. I'd say the odds of her and I ever becoming a couple are about the same as you and Casey…"
"Eww," Sarah interrupted with a giggle. "You had to go there? Now that was offensive."
That got them both laughing. "I'm sorry," he said.
"I'll let it slide this time," Sarah said, still laughing. "You'd better get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow. Mess up even a little bit and I'll show you offensive."
"Yes, ma'am," he said as he got up to leave.
"Josh," Sarah called as he got to the door. "Thank you. You really helped me tonight."
"Anytime."
"I'll talk to her," Sarah said. "She has nothing to feel insecure about."
"I know," Josh said. "Just like you don't. And yet you both do. You're a lot alike. Thank you for talking to her."
Sarah rolled over to go back to sleep. She was right. Josh had just helped her, more than he realized. Now she knew exactly what had been bothering her all night.
It was something that she simply had to fix.
x-x-x-x-x
Chuck sat on the front desk, enjoying his freshly squeezed orange juice, first cup of coffee, and the mid morning sun and breeze. Someone had just slid a plate with a steaming hot omelet in front of him. This having a private cook was something that he maybe could get used to. He had to smile as he looked over at his new 'harem.' For all of their bluster about teasing him with their nudity, nothing of the sort actually happened. They were most respectful, almost bashful.
After dinner last night, Laura found some music and quite a lot of tequila. They drank and danced on the deck until well after two. Since there was something about spies and dancing, both ladies were having the time of their lives. In fact if Sarah was going to be jealous of anything about the night, it would be the dancing. Chuck danced with each lady every once in a while. But most of the time they entertained themselves and allowed Chuck to sit and enjoy the wonderful cooler night air and the untold majesty of a billion stars in the sky. Joey and Laura had clearly become friends already, at least their fuck toy personas had anyway. They spent most of the night wildly dancing and giggling about one silly thing or another. Joey's sense of humor obviously was a big hit with Laura. Chuck had never seen her laugh that hard. If anyone was watching it was perfect for the cover. It remained to be seen if that translated into the actual spies becoming as close, but it was hopeful.
Okay, they all three had slept in the same bed last night. There was no way around that. And it was something that Sarah would surely want to hear every single detail about. But all three were fairly modestly clothed. And the girls were so well behaved. Chuck couldn't remember so much as an accidental brush against his leg. He made a mental note to get Sarah to thank them. Both had been simply perfect. He actually slept far better than he feared in this situation.
They hadn't seen Rock, or actually any of his men, since before dinner. But he finally joined them on the deck. "I hope your night was satisfactory," he said.
"It was a perfect night," Chuck said as he motioned for Rock to sit. Well, that wasn't really true. Any night without Sarah could never be called perfect. "Laura was amazing. You're very lucky. As soon as our transaction is complete, I'll call Juan Barone and make sure that he knows what a good host you've been. I assume that our deal is still on target."
Rock was clearly moved. "Thank you, my friend," he said. "That would help me a great deal. I have so much competition. Yes, I made the twenty million dollar transfer just a few minutes ago. By the time we get to dock, within the hour, you should be able to verify it."
"I'll have the truck meet us there," Chuck said. "I just have to tell you. I love your ship. I frankly didn't think I would enjoy it so much. And my people would love it, Joey especially. Wouldn't you, baby?"
Joey had no idea what Chuck was up to. So she just played along. "Of course, Daddy," she said shyly. "It's amazing."
"I love to make her happy," Chuck said as he grabbed her hand playfully. "I'll have to look into what it would take to buy one."
"I'm actually going to buy a bigger one," Rock said. "My business is growing."
"Would you consider selling this to me?" Chuck asked. "I would consider it a huge favor. I'm a busy man. I really don't have time to shop for a boat. I'd gladly pay the market price."
"My friend," Rock said. "It would be an honor to be able to do you a favor. Consider it done. I'll get the title out of the safe and sign it over right now. Use it for a few weeks, have it appraised, and then pay me whatever you think its worth. You'll be more than fair."
As soon as Rock left, Joey turned to Chuck with a grin. "What are you doing?" she asked. "This wasn't part of the plan."
"I'm calling an audible," Chuck replied with his own grin. "I'm buying my wife a present. I feel bad that she got cheated out of a special night. She would absolutely love this. She would have loved last night. And it will make this morning easier, getting all of his men off the ship. Besides… after today, he's not going to need it any more." He turned to face Laura.
"Right?"
x-x-x-x-x
A/N: I probably shouldn't have to say this. It seems obvious to me. But I know that some of you get freaked out a little thinking about Sarah and sex with other men. So I'd like to point out that the things that Laura told Chuck in Sarah's dream didn't really happen. Sarah didn't have sex with Peter West, never enjoyed sex with a mark, always tried to get out of it. That was Sarah's subconscious coming out in her dream and reminding her that deep down she still fears Chuck worrying about those things.
There was a lot of conversation earlier in the story that Sarah was asking too much of Chuck. That she didn't totally get what she was putting him through with Seth and Peter West.
She does as of now.
I always promised that this would be the story of Sarah's journey from mostly Chuck's bodyguard to mostly Chuck's wife. The way that I write Sarah is that she's flawed. She has issues, needs to grow in some areas. But, to me, that is also what makes her so attractive. If she didn't make mistakes, didn't grow, she would be boring.
She is about to take a big step in that journey.
x-x-x-x-x
