My deepest thanks to my beta, PheonRen. If it wasn't for her fantastic editing skills, this fic would not be readable! Hugs to you, sweetie! :D
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Disclaimer: Bioware owns everything. I just play with the characters, lol.
Chapter 37 - Genitivi
Faith frowned when she heard Avernus's words. She stole a glance at Anders, whose eyes held a hint of sadness in them.
"What do you mean not hoping to hear? Is it that bad, then?" Anders asked softly, a resigned slump in his shoulders.
"It can be done. You can successfully stop the taint from progressing, thus enabling you to live a somewhat normal life. You would not go through the Calling, and would have more time to live, however you see fit," Avernus said, nodding at Anders. He paused, a finger on his chin as he regarded Anders thoughtfully for a few moments. "This spirit you host...he has experienced life before, has he not?"
"How do you know this?" Anders asked. He then shook his head. "Never mind that. I guess you get your answers from the spirits or demons around you, right?"
"Is it really that important to you how I get my answers?" Avernus retorted. "That should be of no consequence to you. What really matters is that I know and fully understand what you host. The spirit inside you has undergone a change. He is no longer the spirit of Justice. This is what you must understand. This is what will make matters too difficult."
Anders swallowed and nodded. Hope somehow seemed a long way off and unreachable and he fought the tears that threatened to fall as he asked his next question.
"So, while Justice is inside me, this cannot be done, is that what you are saying?"
"I did not say it cannot be done, you impatient boy," Avernus said. "But I will say I would not do it if I were you. This spirit has had a good taste of life, and your anger has corrupted it and turned it into something warped beyond a simple mortal's encounter in a lifetime. This spirit of Justice would lash out like an animal, making the entire process life-threatening."
"I could die?"
"Do you remember what the king and queen went through?" Avernus shot back at him, his eyes intense on his.
"I don't think I could ever forget." Anders swallowed again, briefly rubbing his forehead.
"Well, do you remember the fevers that burned through their ravished bodies at the end? Do you remember the state their bodies were in? Or the way they could not refrain themselves from the depraved acts they committed?"
A gasp escaped Faith's lips, but Avernus ignored her and continued speaking.
"If this Justice is inside you, your body will be ravished to the death if you survive the first months of the treatment. In the end, if you do survive everything, the fever will finally kill you. The fact that this spirit augments your powers and strength is counterproductive in this case. While this spirit is inside you, you won't have a chance of surviving at all."
...
Their trip back to Denerim was silent - at least on Anders's part, shrouded in sadness and despair. Anders hardly acknowledged Faith nor paid any attention to her at all, his mind a thousand miles away, his entire demeanor one of a man who was doomed. Faith did her best to keep talking. She felt that even though Anders was giving no indication that she was at his side, he knew and kept his sanity only because she was talking and squeezing his hand, or leaning in to give him an occasional peck on the cheek.
They arrived at the palace, where Anders successfully ignored the king and queen and headed off to the chamber that had been assigned to them, leaving Faith, Alistair and Alyssa behind, staring at his hasty retreat.
"Bad news, I take it?" Alistair rumbled quietly.
"Avernus says it can't be done while Justice is inside him," Faith replied, struggling to keep her tears from flowing.
Alyssa gave a soft cry and took one of her hands in her own, squeezing it reassuringly. "I'm sorry, Faith," she murmured softly.
"The trip back was terrible. I think he wants to speak to Genitivi and this is the reason we came back here at all. Otherwise, we'd be on our way to Kirkwall, I'm sure."
"I've never seen him this sad or dejected before," Alyssa replied. "This is new to me."
"He has his moments when the depression he feels lashes out. On those days, he is moody, quiet and quick-tempered," Faith admitted, the tears coming at last.
"I'm sorry," Alyssa mumbled again, while Alistair looked on, the sadness and concern evident in his amber eyes. "Let's sit for a while, and talk."
Before Faith had a chance to protest, she found herself being led to another one of the palace's sitting rooms. Soon she was sitting beside the queen on a cushioned settee, while Alistair had one of the servants bring in some refreshments and ordered her to have someone else take a tray full of food and water to Anders.
"I'm sure he's hungry. It's a warden thing," Alistair smiled, before sitting on a chair across from the settee.
"The worst part is that he was doing this for me. I feel so guilty!" Faith exclaimed miserably.
"You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to spend more time with him, dear," Alyssa said hurriedly. "We tried that, Alistair and I, and discovered guilt was not the way to go."
Faith managed a watery smile. There was a knock on the door and the servants entered, carrying trays of food and drink. They curtseyed and left in silence.
"Try the cheese. Cheese makes everything better," Alistair offered hopefully. Faith found herself smiling again as she declined the tray full of slices of different cheeses. The king seemed shocked for a few moments, before helping himself to the cheese.
"The point here is that he wants to do it, and it can be done," Alyssa said in a determined tone.
"Anders told me once that he doesn't think Justice can ever be separated from him. He'd have to die in order for that to happen," Faith responded, shaking her head.
"Oh, I don't know about that. We've been talking to Genitivi when you two left," Alyssa smiled. "He has some interesting information about the whole matter."
At this point the door opened. Anders stood there, looking at the three of them. There were traces of tears on his flushed face.
"We're leaving first thing in the morning," he said quietly, not really looking at any of them.
"Wait! Anders!" Faith called out. But it was no use.
Anders had already left.
...
Brother Genitivi turned the pages of the volume he was reading and smiled. He was so absorbed in his task, he did not hear the knock on his door, nor see the queen enter the room shortly afterwards.
"Brother Genitivi."
The scholar looked up quickly, confused at finding the queen standing over him.
"Your Highness! I did not hear you entering the room," he began, but Alyssa held up her hand, a smile on her face.
"No worries, I understand. I'm here because I need your help."
"Of course, my queen. Anything you need..." Genitivi said quickly, a smile on his face.
"Remember the...um...mage we told you about?"
The good brother's brow creased, deep in thought for a few moments. His eyes lit up again when he seemed to have finally remembered what the queen meant.
"Of course! The mage with the 'spirit' living inside him! I remember now. We talked for a long time about his demise. Is there anything else you would like to know?"
"Actually, I came here asking for a favor. The mage in question is here in the palace," Alyssa retorted, smiling affectionately at the scholar who had a surprised look on his face.
"A favor, Your Majesty?" Brother Genitivi asked, a hint of suspicion in his eyes.
"I'd like you to go talk to him. Tell him everything you told us that day. Can you do this?"
"I can do this. Just point me the way, and I'll head to his room immediately."
"Excellent," Alyssa nodded, a grin plastered all over her face. "I knew I could count on you. Just remember, you must tell him everything."
...
Faith sat beside Anders and tried again to get him to talk. He had just finished packing and was sitting on the large bed, staring at the opposite wall.
"Anders," she sighed, trying unsuccessfully to get him to look at her. She shook her head. "At least look at me..." Her voice had a tinge of desperation in it.
"Faith. When we get to Kirkwall, I'll leave for Darktown."
"What? No!" Faith protested, her eyes wide with shock.
"It's no use continuing our relationship. Not while I am most surely going to die from the taint - if I last long enough to reach my Calling and not die beforehand, that is."
"I don't care! I'll take any number of years you have left. I'll die without you, you know this." She was crying. Quietly, though, so he had no way of knowing this, since he was keeping his eyes on the wall in front of him.
"I don't want to hurt you more than I have so far. It's killing me," Anders sighed and bowed his head.
"Anders, I don't want to let you go. Besides, you can go through with this if and when you and Justice are separated."
Anders let out a laugh that sounded like a strangled cry. "And you know how easy it would be to accomplish that."
"I'm sure it can be done! I refuse to believe it would be impossible to do!" Faith argued, her voice high-pitched, laden with emotion.
Anders turned to look at her and noticed her tears. His heart sank. Of all the things that hurt him the most, was the pain he felt whenever he saw her crying. That she was crying because of him made it even worse. For a few moments he struggled, trying to control the emotion that was coursing through his entire being. Then he gave up.
"Maker's breath," he muttered, standing and pulling her into a tight embrace. "I love you too much. Maker help me, I'm lost without you, myself. I'm so sorry. I keep on hurting you without meaning to."
Faith gave a sigh of relief into his chest, her tears finally coming to an end in the warm security of his arms. She rubbed her cheek on the feathered part of his coat, and his grip tightened around her.
"I love you," she said softly, one of her hands absentmindedly stroking the feathers. "I knew what you were when I fell in love with you. I know what loving you means. But I refuse to give up. Call me stubborn, but that is what I am. If loving you means walking down a path into the fires of hell, then so be it. I'll gladly walk with you by my side."
He lifted her chin and his amber eyes bore into her with such an intensity, she smiled.
"Maker's breath, Faith. I don't deserve your love." And with those words, his lips descended on hers.
There was a knock on the door, and Anders disentangled himself from her grasp and strode over to open it wide.
A man with a bald spot and kind eyes stood there, smiling benevolently.
"Hello. You must be Anders. My name is Genitivi," the man said, his smile turning into a wide grin as he stepped into the room.
"Brother Genitivi?" Anders repeated dumbly.
"I think we have a lot to talk about. You could shut the door first, though. Everyone in the palace thinks I'm addle-brained or batty-crazy, and if they hear this, it would only fan the flames." He paused, registering the confusion on Anders's face. "What I mean is... well, you know." Another pause and a sigh. "If they hear what I'm going to say, it would...add to the ever-growing list of what they say about me."
Anders nodded and stepped aside, while Genitivi sighed a bit as he stepped into the room. Faith hurried to shut the door.
Brother Genitivi made his way to the comfortable settee and sank down into it, sighing again as he did.
Anders stood across from where he was sitting, his head tilted as he regarded the good brother curiously.
"The queen sent you here, didn't she?" It was a question, but one that Anders knew the answer to, so he wasn't really surprised at Genitivi's assenting nod.
"But I did want to meet you. I think your case is fascinating," the scholar replied.
"My case?" Anders snarled.
"Oh, I don't mean to offend. I'm on your side," the brother held up his hands defensively. "I understand what you are going through better than most, actually."
Anders crossed his arms, frowning darkly.
"But it's quite possible you don't understand it fully, so I'm here to help you with that. This spirit, which you say is the spirit of Justice is not a demon, though most will probably call him that - even long after he ceases to exist in this mortal plane, if that were the case. According to what the queen told me, he once inhabited the body of a dead man, so he's never really had to deal with human emotions so vividly. Emotions and spirits don't go hand in hand. All these intense emotions have created a change in this spirit of Justice. He'll also lash out more and more as time goes by." Genitivi then stopped speaking, while Anders sat on a chair next to the settee, and nodded. Faith sat on the chair opposite, waiting for the brother to continue.
"Nothing that you are saying now is different from what I already know," Anders commented. "How exactly will this help me?"
"Well, I happen to know a bit about spirit possession. And I know of a place where spirit possession is practiced successfully, without harming either the host or the spirit." The brother then dug out a tome from his robe, looking at it fondly before extending it over to Faith, not Anders.
"I suggest you read this, my Lady. But I must insist that Justice never get his hands on it. It's imperative to keep the spirit in the dark, you see. He will misinterpret anything around him as a threat to both him and the cause."
Anders chuckled. "Justice is already aware of everything you are saying. He and I are -"
"One, I know," Genitivi said cheerfully. "But there are moments when he seems to be gone, am I right?"
"Oh, I wouldn't say 'gone'. More like dormant, really."
"Those moments will cease to exist if you continue to let him inhabit your body. He will eventually control you completely to get what he wants."
"I hardly think that there is a way to separate him from me," Anders chuckled again.
"Well, that's where this gets interesting," Genitivi grinned, turning to Faith. "Read the book. It has all the information you require. There is a way, and there is a place."
The good brother stood up, still smiling as his eyes took in their surprised features.
"I'll be in my study, should you need to speak to me at a later date."
And then he left the room, leaving them both sitting there in a state of mild shock.
...