Title: Validation
Summary: Never the perfect son or student or brother, Raphael does the unthinkable. Away from the lair and into an allegiance with Shredder, honor is replaced by his pronounced desire for validation.
Disclaimer: I have no ownership ties to the TMNT fandom or anything else I might reference. Credit to those who do.
SPECIAL THANKS TO! Bella13blue, my own personal Nemesis! (Because everybody needs one.) MY Nemesis has been a good friend; she's a great soundboard and has been kind enough to encourage and offer suggestions on my work for this fic.
Author's Notes: Chapter came two days later than I planned. -More A/N at the bottom.
WARNING! INSENSITIVE JOKES AHEAD!
Questions or comments, submit via review or PM. Thank you.
...
CH 36
It shouldn't have been so easy. There should have been tension and awkward stretches of silence. They should have fed him question after question until he felt sick enough to hurl or angry enough to storm off in a frenzy. He should have been annoyed or frustrated, anxious to get on with his own life. He should have been able to turn away and run without a second thought.
Instead, it was easy. Too easy. Too lax and too comfortable. Too nostalgic. Kinda like, if you grew up watching the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, then were subjected to the newer versions and had a chance to watch the original again. Everything about it, bland and predictable with a side of cheesy and downright laughable, but because of nostalgia... you don't laugh. You smile serenely and watch, mentally checking off the potentially good aspects and denying or justifying the bad.
This was the figurative boat Raphael found himself in.
April had greeted each of them with tight hugs and kind words, granted them free reign over the apartment (Her one rule was: Don't Break Anything.) and then left for a work-related event. Some cocktail party that doubled as a charity event for wealthy bigots and the reporters and journalists that sought out the big scoops. Ever the gentleman, Casey insisted on being her escort, just to make sure she arrived safely, but he would be returning and meeting up with the others shortly.
Meanwhile, Raphael himself was seated on April's couch, a box of pizza in his lap and a particularly cheesy slice making it's way to and from his mouth. Between bites, he found himself unable to stop grinning as his orange-banded sibling jumped up in down excitedly and offered rapid-fire joke after joke, only slowing down when one required a more complicated setup.
"Okay, okay! You'll love this one, bro! What do you call a lesbian-"
"Mikey!" Don intervened, bo in hand and warning clear. "Nothing dirty, please."
The orange-banded turtle tried again. "Okay, so... What does the Mafia have in common with a Pussy-"
Whack! The end of the staff came down and conked Michelangelo on the head. "I gave you fair warning," Donatello said. "Nothing dirty."
"I was gonna say Pussy-Cat!" Mike yipped, hands resting on his head to nurse what would soon be a bruise. "Owwww," he whined exaggeratedly. "I think you split my skull."
Raphael rolled his eyes and finished his slice of pizza, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when he was done. Food on its way to his stomach, he found his voice. "Why don't ya just skip the vulgarities, alright? Somethin' clean so Brainiac over there doesn't have a hernia."
Taking a seat in a floral-printed recliner with a dysfunctional footrest, Don's head tilted in a curious fashion. "You know what a hernia is, Raph?"
The emerald-skinned turtle had no time to answer, as the youngest jumped back in with another determined attempt to amuse his mask-less bro. "Right, so, uh, first I need some names. Let's go with Donnie and Leo- y'know, to keep things simple." He cast a mischievous glance towards his purple-banded brother before continuing. "So, Leo and Donnie were walking home from a coffee shop-"
Setting his nearly empty pizza box aside, Raphael gave an amused snort, "Unlikely..."
Mikey paid no heed to the small interruption; instead, he pressed on, grinning just as wide as ever. "As they walked, Donnie was pushing a bicycle. And of course, Leo had to ask where Don got the bike- because obviously, it wasn't Don's."
Raph nodded absently, not seeing where this was going.
Mike didn't disappoint. "And Don said: 'This was April's bike! I met up with her; she jumped off the bike, threw off her clothes, and said: TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT!' And, Joke-Don added... 'Obviously, I took the bike.'- Get it?!" Mikey quipped, pleased with himself and the joke's delivery, though the cleanliness of said joke was questionable.
Raph's own mirth escaped, even as he turned his head and feigned a cough in an attempt to cover the laugh. "I gotcha. 'Cause, obviously he shoulda wanted to - ahem..." he trailed off, his point taken.
Still comfortably seated in the nearby recliner, Donatello's face took on a horrified expression. "Mikey, that joke is... widely inappropriate."
"Your mom's widely inappropriate!" Mikey jived, laughing hysterically afterwards.
Raph joined in, covering his mouth but failing to stifle the guffaw; his shoulders shook with the effort, and after the initial attempt to cover the laugh, he just let it go and joined in with Mikey's infectious humor.
Don prepared to take another reprimanding swing with his bo, but Leo gave a stern look and a subtle shake of his head.
There was nothing wrong with a little laughter, even if it was due to a rather lewd joke.
There could be no unnecessary tension tonight: a fact that was wordlessly decided and agreed upon.
Tonight would be about brotherhood and togetherness. Tonight, there would be no lectures, no over-thinking, and no poorly-concealed pain. Tonight, there would be only four turtles and overdue elation.
Leo, having been content to simply stand off to the side and watch his siblings bond, face-palmed at everyone's antics, especially when Mikey decided to launch a not-so-sneaky sneak attack at Raph, resulting in the larger mutant pulling the youngest into a headlock and delivering a noogie and some good-natured insults.
In respite of the eldest turtle's obvious contentedness, a voice in the back of his head nagged, reminding him that this arrangement was temporary. That reminder threatened to eat away at his insides and rip apart his careful composure, but for now, Leo pushed the thought aside and managed a smile.
He noted Michelangelo's impossibly infectious cheer as he kicked out of Raph's hold and then turned to attack Don. Equally obvious, was Donatello's own version of light-heartedness and coveted concern. But mostly, Leonardo paid close attention to Raph...
The way Raphael sat with his posture just a little too-straight, too perfect for the ninja-dropout he grew up with. Then there was the way that, even though there was obviously no need for any confrontation, his hands were almost constantly moving to the hilts of his sais, as if to assure their presence. Occasionally, Raphael's toes would curl against the carpet fibers, and Leo subconsciously found himself mimicking the action- though the eldest turtle stopped the moment he realized it. Then, the new scars... Leo couldn't help wondering where they came from. They were faint, healed, but jagged and noticeable, and a quick glance at Donatello assured that his genius brother had noticed as well.
Leo wanted to ask. He wanted to know everything- not for the sake of knowing, but out of genuine concern for his brother. Raphael had been gone too long; they'd all missed out on so much. Yet, somehow, the distance wrought by time hadn't damaged their bond. Misunderstandings had, but time had not. And with that acknowledgement, Leo found new grounds for determination.
Tonight, he'd take the first of many steps to sort everything out. And he'd be the big brother Raphael needed. But he had to be careful not to add any pressure to the already fragile situation.
As Leo watched Mikey return to his course of jokes- which had finally moved from dirty to goofy and even included a few Knock-Knocks-
"Why did Sally fall off the swing?"
"I dunno. Why?"
"Because she had no arms! -Now, Knock-Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"NOT SALLY!"
Don had moved to sit closer to his brothers, happiness beaming through the cracks in his placid exterior. He'd missed his hotheaded brother, and while he'd never admit it, he was a little envious of Michelangelo's talent for stealing all of Raph's attention. But Don conceded. He was the engineer, the doctor, the techie. He was the Fix-It guy. And right now, he supposed there was nothing to fix. His family was as fixed as it could be at the moment, and he couldn't be happier.
If Leo were to be honest with himself, he couldn't find his voice to say what needed said. Couldn't bring himself to spoil the scene before him... even if his lack of participation made him feel a twinge o guilt. Almost needing to say something -anything- he opened his mouth to spout something meaningful, but all that came out was a polite: "I'm going to get some water. Can I get anyone anything?" His words, a new brand of failure, but he still managed a sheepish grin as he forced himself to take a few steps towards the kitchen.
"Coffee?" Don piped, indirect with his request.
"April has some instant coffee," Leo responded. Just as he was about to exit the living room, Raph's voice stalled him.
"I could use a drink," Raphael's voice was thick as he uttered the simple sentence.
Leo halted immediately.
The world seemed to tilt on its axis, and suddenly, all the feel-goods were doing somersaults right out the proverbial window.
Either not noticing or completely ignoring everyone's discomfort, Raph repeated: "I could use a drink."
It was in that exact moment that the apartment door opened up and the familiar face of Casey Jones came into view. The entirety of his form bumbled in, kicking his shoes off in a hurry to join the guys in celebration.
Leo considered using the human's arrival as a distraction, but he quickly pushed the thought aside. The matter of Raphael's drinking needed addressed. Then again, if he could get his brother to accept a less potent beverage, then surely the pending lecture could be avoided... So, ignoring Casey, he tried to make his voice sound normal, stoic. "A drink? Water? Tea? I doubt you'd want coffee, Raph..." He tried to feign ignorance, curling his toes against the carpet fibers, almost needing the pull of familiarity.
The human vigilante, unaware of Leonardo's plight and plot, was all too happy to offer a toothy grin and his two cents. "C'mon, Leo, don't be dense! Let my buddy have himself a drink! -Don't worry, Raph; I'll get ya somethin' good!" And with that, the human rushed passed Leo and into the kitchen, making a beeline for the fridge.
Leo hesitated but followed right behind him, a worried expression crossing his features. "Is it a good idea for Raph to be drinking?" he asked, voice so low he was almost whispering.
Casey shrugged, fridge door open and head inside as he dug around, shifting cartons and condiments and various items inside. "He's fine, Leo. Let the guy have a little fun."
"Raph can have fun just as easily without alcohol," Leo said sternly, but the expression on his face- the gleam in his eyes- spoke volumes of uncertainty.
Casey, with his head still in the fridge, sighed dramatically. "Stop tryin' ta control him, Leo. Yer gonna end up pissin' him off and pushin' him away. And, Leo, that ain't good fer nobody." He shoved a carton of eggs aside and frowned when he couldn't find what he wanted, then settled on the only thing alcoholic available. Standing up and shutting the fridge door, he looked at Leo. "Grab some glasses, would ya, bud?"
Leo's face was contorted oddly, as if he'd been physically stricken, yet he seemed resigned as he quietly asked: "How many glasses?" Internally admitting defeat, he turned to the cupboard where the cups and glasses were haphazardly arranged.
"Well, let's see. Me, and you four turtles. That's five. Cinco cuppos, compadre."
"Casey," Leo hissed, eyes narrowing in distaste. "We are not all going to sit around drinking tonight. If you and Raph do, fine, but not me, and not my brothers."
"Raph's your bro too."
Leo clamped his mouth shut, having had his own words thrown back at him. And it stung. He drew in a deep breath before muttering: "Yeah, I know. But..." He leaned back against the counter and lowered his head. "It's been so hard with Raph gone... I don't know what to say or how to act around him. He's like a different turtle."
Casey walked over to Leo and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "Leo, Raph's your bro. He's probably missed you guys just as much. Now, I ain't got no idea why he's been gone or what he's been up to, but he seems like the same turtle ta me, and I ain't gonna treat him different."
Leo inclined his head and looked the human in the eye. "I'd rather Raph not drink anything," he said, voice strained. "I don't know how alcohol effects him, and this is the first time we've been able to-"
"I know, Leo. But ya gotta realize that Raph was gone a long time."
"I know, Casey. That's why-"
"And, as bad as we've been hurtin', don't ya think he's been hurtin' too? We don't now how much he's been sufferin', but if a quick drink makes him feel better, why stop him? Worst case scenario here, he passes out and wakes up nauseous with a bad headache." He chuckled and pulled his hand away from Leo. "Lighten up. Put a smile on that beak of yours. In fact..." He turned to the cupboard and proceeded to pull out a few mix-matched glasses, from tumblers to flutes. Pulling the stopper from the wine decanter, he poured a little in two of the glasses, then set the bottle on the counter. Holding one glass, he handed the other to Leo. "To Raph," he said, forcing a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes.
Sighing, Leo stared at the glass in his hand for a long moment before raising it to clink against Casey's. "To Raph," he agreed, trying not to be somber.
And both the human and turtle took a drink. Casey swallowed his down with ease while Leo scrunched up his face and spit it all back into the cup.
"Smooth, Leo. Reeeeal, smooth," the human teased.
The blue-banded turtle scowled. "I didn't want any anyways."
"Ah, c'mon, Leo! It barely touched your tongue. Give it a quick swallow."
"No, I'm going to get Don some coffee. He asked for it. You just... whatever." Leo sighed heavily, sat the glass down next to the decanter, and reached into the cupboard for a coffee cup.
Casey patted Leo on the shoulder one last time, gathered the cups between his chest and forearm with the bottle in his other hand, and headed back to the living room. "Leo's gonna be a minute with yer coffee Donnie-boy," he said with excess enthusiasm, "but I brought somethin' special." He held up the bottle and proceeded to pass out the glasses.
Donatello frowned at his glass. "I'll wait for the coffee," he tried to be polite with his decline.
Michelangelo raised his glass and looked through it like a telescope. "Dude..." He lowered his glass and looked around sheepishly. "Like, am I supposed to drink any of that?" he pointed towards the bottle in Casey's hand.
Casey shrugged. "You're all close in age, right? I ain't seein' the problem."
Raph growled lowly. "Case..." He jabbed a thumb in Mikey's direction. "The only thing he's gettin' is soda or kool-aid. And, if he drinks, he can have a knuckle-sandwich ta go with it." He punctuated his words by cracking his knuckles in jest of threat.
Mikey set the glass down on a stand and pounced at his emerald-skinned brother. "Awwwe, Raphie, you do care!"
Raph grunted and proceeded to pry the younger turtle off. When it proved to be harder than he thought, he gave up and sighed in frustration. "Use yer head, Case. This knucklehead needs all his braincells."
Casey rolled his eyes and bit back repose, moving to pour himself and Raph each a full glass.
Raphael watched as his glass was filled. He gave it an experimental sniff and swirled the contents of his glass.
Casey noticed and quirked a skeptical brow. "Ya gonna stare at it, or drink it? It ain't poisoned or nothin.'"
Raph shrugged. "It's wine."
"I know that, ya bonehead!"
Raph blinked, as if affronted by the human's outburst. "You can determine the potency of wine by how opaque it is as it moves along the glass," he said matter-of-factually.
Casey stared, dumbfounded. "Since when are you a fancy-pants know-it-all?"
Raph opened his mouth but closed it afterwards. Wordless. He had to think about it for a moment, but even so, he could never give the honest answer. He'd seen the Shredder- rather, Soupy- sip at wine, and the human-tyrant always went through a specific ritual of smelling it, then testing the potency levels by swirling the glass. Then, lastly, he'd drink it slowly and comment on how how it was aged, how rich or smooth it was, and how it compared to others he favored. Honestly, Raph had picked up quite a bit after a while. The numerous differences between a good Cabernet and Merlot...
"Are you alright?" Don asked suddenly, cutting through Raphael's thoughts with a concerned tone. "You're zoning out."
"Sorry," Raph mumbled, pushing Mike away and then sipping at his drink.
It was then that Leo finally returned from the kitchen, a coffee cup in hand and an embarrassed expression on his face. He handed the cup to Don and moved to sit on a nearby wooden stool.
Don looked at his cup and then spared Leo a questioning glance. "It's... cold."
Leo nodded but refused eye contact. "I... fought valiantly... I battled the microwave... and lost," he confessed dismally. "I don't think I broke it, but the light inside isn't coming on, and-."
Sighing dramatically, Don got to his feet and turned towards the kitchen, cold cup in his grasp. "I'll go take a look."
Raph caught the spectacle and smirked. "Some things never change." The emerald-skinned mutant had just polished off his glass and set it aside when he felt a distinctly unfamiliar pressure move over the dome of his head. He made a sour face at the discomfort, balled his hands into fists and jabbed at the source of agitation. His fist collided with Michelangelo, who pulled back with an expression equivalent to that of a kicked puppy. "What the fuck ya doin'?" Raph spat moving his hand to rub the wet streak that ran along his head.
Mikey's bottom lip jutted out and quivered, though he had nothing but crocodile tears to offer as he feigned hurt. "I only licked you, Raphie."
Raph grit his teeth in annoyance. "And, why did ya do that?" he ground out.
Mikey cocked his head to the side as he responded: "I just realized that you smelled funny."
"So ya licked my damn head?!"
Mikey bobbed his head in a nod. "Yep," came the answer, as if that simple word held all the justification in the world. Then, to add insult to injury- so to speak... "I gotta say, I've tasted a lot of bad stuff, but your head tastes like frog anus."
Raphael's jaw slackened with disbelief and irritation. "Frog an-"
"Mikey," Leo cut in. "How do you even know what-"
"Okay, spill it, ya bonehead," Casey piped up, crossing his arms. "I'm sure there's a fun story ta this one."
Michelangelo shrugged and looked away, trying to appear casual about the affair. "You've seen the movie Shrek, right? Well, remember that scene when Shrek and Fiona are in the field? They grab a frog and snake, inflate them, and use them as balloons. Call me crazy, but I tried it." He visibly paled. "Do. Not. Try. It. Doesn't work, and it tastes bad. Kinda like Raph's head."
Everyone looked to Raphael, who sat perfectly still with an unreadable expression.
In an awkward attempt to diffuse the tension, Casey raised both hands and spoke rather loudly: "Sooo, anyone up fer a movie? What about a refill?" He gestured to the bottle. He got up and moved to refill Raphael's glass, but Raph just swiped the bottle and shooed his human friend away.
"Can we watch Rise of the Guardians?" Mikey asked, looking around for approval.
"Anything's fine," Leo answered.
"Somethin' with people- not talkin' animals," Raph said sharply.
Everyone gave him an odd look.
"Dude, that's totally uncool, bro," Mikey said.
Raph pressed the rim of the bottle to his mouth and took a long drink before sighing and answering, "I just... No. No talkin' animals. No romance bullshit. Nothin' with a moral. Just... anythin' but that."
Trying to hide his disappointment, Michelangelo began to sort through a stack of DVD's. "Do talking dinosaurs count as talking animals?" Mikey asked as he fingered the anniversary edition of The Land Before Time. When he was answered with ambiguous murmuring, he drew in a breath and puffed out his cheeks childishly, then released the air and continued to search. Then... "Hey, what's this?" He pulled out an old unmarked DVD case, in which was an equally unmarked DVD.
Curiously, he put it in the DVD player. He grabbed the remote, but without any menu or prompt, the DVD began to play automatically.
A younger April O'Neil came into view, wearing a bright yellow jumpsuit and smiling at the camera. "This is April O'Neil, Chanel 6 News. And though I'm no meteorologist, I can promise things are about to get very... very... hott." She grabbed the zipper between her index finger and thumb and slowly began to pull it down, revealing a pink lacy little number that cradled and lifted her breasts...-
None the the 'movie-watchers' quite knew how to respond to the visual; more or less, they each gawked and tried to process what they were seeing.
Leo, quiet and nervous, was the first to find his voice. "I don't think we were supposed to find this disk..."
Upon seeing Film-April unhooking her bra and releasing an unnecessary moan, Mikey 'eeped' and quickly moved his finger to turn it off, incidentally hitting the power button several times before supplying: "WE SHOULD PLAY A GAME! I'll get the Uno cards!" He quickly scrambled to his feet and ran off to do as he promised, fetching the deck.
Raphael glanced at the now-empty bottle of wine and grumbled: "No offense, but I don't think there's enough alcohol in the U.S. ta make that attractive."
Casey glared at the offending mutant. "Wha? April's a peach! How could ya say that? Do ya not like women or somethin'? Are ya only inta turtle babes?- Wait, are there turtle babes?"
Leo pressed his face into his hands and answered: "No, to our knowledge, there are no females of our kind. And, can we just forget this ever happened." He heaved a sigh. "April's going to be so upset." His expression was one of regret and apprehension.
Don returned in time to hear Leo's last words of sorrow, arms crossed and eyes set into a hard glare. "You're right about that. April's going to be terribly upset when she finds out that you broke her microwave. Honestly, Leo, I'm not even sure how you do it. And I swear, if you go anywhere near her toaster-"
Mikey hurried back onto the scene with an exuberant smile and a box caught between his hands. "I couldn't find Uno, but I got Yahtzee! It's boring, but we can make up our own rules! Um..."
Raphael placed a hand to his face and rubbed his beak. "It's gettin' late, guys. You can play, but I should probably get goin'."
Donatello's eyes widened; their time with Raphael had been so brief, and he wasn't ready for it to come to an end.
Michelangelo wasn't ready for that either; he dropped the Yahtzee box and looked ready to cry, his big blue eyes welling up behind his orange mask.
Leo held up his hands in a placating gesture, fighting to find the right words to say.
And Casey, preferring to act now and think later, pounced at Raph and fought to wrestle and pin him down. "Don't be an ass, Raph! You've been gone long enough! Fuck, we don't even know where you've been!"
Feeling Casey make an attempt to hold him down while implied but unasked questions hung in the midst, Raphael felt his insides heating up, quickly reaching boiling point. Sunset-colored eyes widened; the edges of his vision began to blur in a frighteningly familiar way. Panic started at his core and proceeded to burn and spread, scorching him from the inside out, urging him to move- to do something. His breath came in fast shallow gasps and his muscles tightened in anticipation. He felt cornered, trapped. His vision fading, it was only a matter of time before...
Before...
Casey refused to relent. He knew that if push came to shove, the mutant could plow right through him, but he was determined not to lose his friend. Caught up in his own emotional frenzy, he was doing the only thing he could think to do. He was fighting back, almost beckoning Raph to do the same. He stared into the turtle's eyes and watched those pupils dilate. "Raph..."
Raphael's throat felt tight; his vision was getting fuzzier by the second. It took all his willpower not to snap the fine thread of coherency that kept him from slipping into a fit of rage. Still, he moved his hands to grip the human's upper arms tightly, to offer a warning. "Casey. Fuckin'. Jones. Get... off," he forced the words, voice serious and eyes narrowed into something hateful.
"Yer usin' my last name now? Since when? C'mon, Raph! Dis ain't you. Don't-"
"I don't like repeatin' myself," Raph grumbled, tightening his grip and causing Casey to wince. The turtle squeezed his eyes shut before easing them open, hoping his vision would be restored- to no avail. If anything, everything had gotten even fuzzier. It was getting hard to see, hard to breathe, and in time, it would be hard to think. He'd lose himself. And he wouldn't be able to control himself.
Control. It was slipping. After all this time- he'd been doing so well... Some small part of his mind frantically searched for the problem, but his thoughts were getting further and further away, harder to understand. He shut his eyes again, and when he opened them, they were wide and pleading. He could feel the intensity growing, pulling at him like a puppet on strings, coaxing his conscience into oblivion and trying to push him over the edge of coherency. If that happened...
'Don't think about it' Raphael mentally told himself. 'Don't hurt anyone. Not now. Not now. I'm still in control. I ain't gonna hurt Casey.'
Leonardo was on his feet and at their side the moment he put 2 and 2 together and understood the problem. He grabbed the back of the human's shirt and hauled him up and off of Raphael. "Casey, you're upsetting him; lay off. Raph, calm down; take deep breaths. This needs to stop before it escalates any further. We're all stressed, and we need to take a moment to calm down. Why don't we all meditate and-"
When Raphael only appeared more annoyed at the suggestion, Mikey panicked and intervened the only way he could think. Once again, he moved in to lick Raphael's head; his tongue flat against Raph's scalp, he licked a firm line.
With an almost primal roar, Raphael jumped to his feet, shoved both Casey and Leonardo out of his way, and proceeded to chase after Michelangelo, who easily outran his hotheaded brother.
"C'mon, Raphie! Your muscles got bigger, but you didn't get any faster!" he teased.
The chase continued until Raph managed to trip over the forgotten Yahtzee box; he hit the carpeted floor plastron-first. It took a moment for him to sit up. With a withering glare cast towards the Yahtzee box, he gave it a kick and watched with satisfaction as it skidded away.
Wrought with worry, Michelangelo quickly moved to check on his fallen brother. "You okay, Raph? I'm sorry! I just-"
In a blink of an eye, Raph had pulled the orange-banded turtle into a headlock. Then, after a moment's hesitation, when the air grew stale and everyone seemed wary and tense, Raph stuck his own tongue out and pressed it against Michelangelo's dome, giving a payback-lick and chuckling at the disturbed expression that crossed his younger brother's face.
"Ewwww, Raaaaphie."
And just like that, the tension subsided.
The threat of Raphael's volcanic emotions was no more.
Relieved, Leo turned his attention to his genius sibling. "Now, what's wrong with April's microwave?"
...
When everything had settled down, Mikey happily put on the movie: Wreck It Ralph.
Halfway through the movie, Raphael stripped himself of his gear, turned on every lamp in the room, and laid on the couch. After a brief internal debate, he let his eyes slip closed and fell asleep within minutes. He knew he was taking a gamble by staying, but he wanted this. Just one time, he wanted to sleep without being surrounded by white walls. Just once, he wanted to wake up and not be completely alone. Should this decision cause problems, he'd deal with it in the morning.
The movie continued to play, but everyone in the room had stopped watching, instead staring at the large turtle who looked strangely peaceful as he slept.
Curiously, Casey approached Raph's sleeping form. He grabbed one of the turtle's hands and lifted it high before dropping it. Turning to face the others, he said, "Raph's out cold." Just to confirm his own words, he turned back and proceeded to poke the turtle's arm several times.
Mikey moved in next, kneeling beside the couch and staring intently at his brother. "Hard to believe he's really here, huh?" He looked at his other brothers and flashed them a bright smile that could put the sun to shame. Then he rested his head on the couch next to Raph's. "I can't wait to get him home... He'll love my Skittle-pancake-anchovy-surprise with extra marshmallows." His smile seemed infallible, eyes glinting with an honest glee he'd forgotten until now. Because, his family was whole. It could be mended. "We'll get Raphie home; Master Splinter will be so glad to see him; and everything can go back to normal. We'll be like a real family again." Content with his reasoning, he let his eyes slip closed, feigning sleep even though he wasn't tired and the movie playing behind him was nearing its climax.
Leo stared at his youngest brother, having heard his words and witnessed the return of that impossibly bright outlook on life. It pained him, knowing that he had to be honest. Knowing that, as the oldest, it would be his duty to speak the cold hard truth. "Mikey..." He was hesitant, but he pressed on. As a brother and a leader, he had to. "Raph might not come home yet. And I promised we wouldn't pressure the issue. That's the only reason he came with us. He's going through a lot right now, and-" Leo stopped, a soft sound catching his attention.
Mikey was sniffling; his tears came quiet, but the sound of his heartbreak was nearly audible.
...
[Next chapter is In-Progress. -I don't know why, but I have this visual in my head of platonic head-licking, if that's possible. Disturbing, uncomfortable, and hilarious.]