Shepard took a deep, cleansing breath as she hovered before the door to the isolated core room, where for the past few days, the Geth had been working around the clock to bring EDI's core code back online. She reached up, roughly rubbing the bridge in rapid succession, trying to will away the headache that was inexorably pushing through from behind her eyes.
Letting her head rest briefly against the wall, Holly steeled herself for the worst; the bravado that had stiffened her spine when she departed from the Normandy was hanging by a bare thread. She still believed what she said, that EDI would rather die free than live enslaved...but this was the moment where they would both finally see if the ultimate price for that decision would be paid.
The indicator lamp above the door flashed from red to green, and Holly slowly strode into the spartan chamber, barely large enough for the isolated server and four or five human-sized individuals. She crossed her arms, as if the action would somehow make the room feel bigger, as she appraised the situation.
Cicero and Battalion were present, flanking a third Geth mobile platform; head hung, and bereft of movement, it was currently inactive. She had initially assumed that they would have prepared EDI's permanent unit by now, but apparently that task was far more complex and involved than she previously assumed.
It must be detailed enough to pass all but the most intense scrutiny, they told her. And certainly, they had a point.
"So...what's the good word?" she asked. It had been a couple of days since she had actually spoken, and her voice cracked, prompting her to clear her throat.
"Shepard-Colonel.." they both began in unison, then paused, turning to regard each other. After a prolonged silence, Cicero spoke.
"We are about to load EDI into a temporary platform. However, we felt it...prudent...to discuss the matter at hand, before we proceed."
Holly straightened up, nodding once. She wasn't thrilled to have a conversation start in such a manner.
"It is clear that EDI has undergone extensive psychological trauma. We believe over time, we can help her mitigate the absolute worst of her condition, but Geth psychology is...structurally different from her own. She will no doubt require your assistance, as well as the assistance of other organics with whom she has developed meaningful interpersonal relations, if she is to make a full recovery."
Shepard spoke quietly, a soft, tired edge in her voice."Yeah...I uh...tell me something I don't already know."
She knew it was bad...was going to be worse still. A metallic spike of guilt sliced its way through her. She had wanted to make a statement. Show that she and Jeff, were committed to working inside the system, if just to prove that it was ultimately going to fail them. She had been vindicated, but there had been a cost. It hadn't fully occurred to her what might have been happening to EDI during that time.
But now, in retrospect, all she could do was wonder if there was some way she could have gone back, done it differently, kept it from getting to this point. And hope that somehow, EDI would understand...
That she'd find a way to forgive.
"Well...I guess it just goes to show how sentient she truly is...how she suffers just like any organic does. No point in waiting any longer...go ahead and bring her up."
The other two Geth stepped back, hands working over the manual controls. Over the next minute, the third mobile frame stirred to life; it started with short, involuntary tremors, like liquid being poured into a glove. The flashlight shaped head suddenly sprang up, and a synthesized gasp let out.
EDI and Shepard stared at each other, a long pause drawing out, until the AI finally broke the silence
"Shepard...I'm...I'm on a Geth ship. I was on the Normandy...and now..." She looked around, head lolling somewhat drunkenly, "How long?"
It was clear she was still disoriented. Understandable, given the significant difference in operational environment her runtime was now experiencing.
Holly let out the breath she had been holding, clucked her tongue inadvertently, and answered, "Little over a week. There were a lot of code fragmentation errors that your...that what Harkness did to you caused. And we had to make sure that she hadn't left any nasty surprises. But...I think we're past the worst of it now, EDI. You're free now...finally free."
She stepped up to give the mobile platform a comforting hug...and was surprised to find EDI pushing her away, giving a start and looking around, almost as if in a panic.
"It's okay...it's okay...are you alright?"
The AI calmed down once she was out of Shepard's grip. Glancing at her, the iris in the single lense embedding in the head of the frame dilating in and out several times, she said, "Yes...I...my apologies, Colonel. I'm...I'm having trouble adjusting to this new frame. It is not...it is not fully...I mean that is...fully compatible with my interface API."
Shepard tried to push down the gnawing suspicion bubbling up in her sternum; EDI had been through a lot of what was no doubt psychological torture, and there was no diagnostic model for helping a synthetic through that sort of thing.
Although, if anyone could aid her in coming to grips with all of it, it was no doubt...
"Jeff...is Jeff here? Can I see him?" EDI inquired, an almost desperate tone to her voice.
"No...no he's not. But I think that..."
EDI interrupted her, sounding angrily put out, "What? Why? Why not? Did he suddenly think he had something more important than..."
"Whoa! EDI, calm down...please just..." Holly held her hands out, pleadingly. "Jeff isn't here because I specifically kept him in the dark about this last bit of the mission. Trust me, he's probably wracked with worry and cursing my name at the moment. We both knew the Systems Alliance would be keeping close tabs on him after the amount of time he spent forcing this issue through the courts. Hell, they've probably got his apartment bugged. The less Jeff knew, the better, and...he knew that. I'm sure it's been killing him, not knowing what the situation, especially as I haven't talked to him in almost three months."
Shepard tried to reach out again to EDI, laying just a hand on one shoulder now, relieved to see that she didn't try to flinch away this time, at least not so obviously.
"Anyhow, I think we're in the clear at this point, so why don't we take you to the QEC chamber, and you can give him a call. Sure he'd love to hear from you."
EDI nodded slowly, turning to Cicero for a moment. The pair regarded each other in complete silence. Just as Holly was about to ask, the Geth spoke, "You are most welcome, Sentience EDI. It was our...pleasure."
"Addendum: Our duty as well.", Battalion chipped in.
Shepard chuckled softly to herself as she and EDI began to walk through the corridors of the ship, heading towards the small, closet sized room that housed the quantum entanglement communicator.
Halfway through the walk, EDI asked, in an even tone, "Harkness...did you? Is she still...alive?"
Holly slowed for a moment, turned and began walking slightly backwards, so she could maintain eye contact - in a manner of speaking - as she answered.
"Yes. I wasn't looking to execute anyone, and frankly, she wasn't all that difficult to put into her place."
"Well...I suppose I appreciate that you have left open the possibility...should she and I ever encounter one another again."
There was venom in that voice, dark, thick and corrosive...more than Holly had thought possible from her.
She stopped short at the door to the QEC Room, clenching and unclenching her fists nervously. What could she say to that? At this particular moment? "Revenge won't make you feel better?". Should she even be truly worried, or was she reading too much into things? From EDI's subjective point of view, she had been freed from her confinement for less than an hour, and it was natural that her emotions would be running high and raw. Confronting her about it now might be less than constructive.
"You don't have to do this right away, EDI. If you...need to rest first? You've been through a..."
"I'll be fine! I'm...fine. I just want to see him. Please."
Holly nodded, standing aside from the door. "I'll be back on the bridge, when you're done."
As she began to walk away, EDI called out "Shepard..."
Holly turned her head, looking over her shoulder.
"Thank you. You kept your promise to me...you kept your promise. I won't ever forget that."
She started to take a few uneasy steps forward, as if she were going to walk over to Holly, then...jerked back a bit, and finally walked inside the chamber.
Shepard walked down the hallway, lost in her own thoughts.
Yeah...I'm reading too much into things. She's going to be fine. It won't be easy...but EDI is going to be fine. We're all going to make sure of that.
Holly felt a tremendous flood of relief as she stepped off the Tubman and out into the docking level of the Citadel. It wasn't so much that she was tired of being in close proximity with the Geth, quite the opposite, but it had been the better part of two months now, away from her family, and QEC calls simply weren't cutting it anymore. She just needed to get her business taken care of, here on the station...a couple of days, maybe three or four, and then it was just a jump away from Thessia...and home.
She could have nearly wept with joy at the thought.
EDI was scheduled to disembark from the ship a little later; her new permanent mobile platform had arrived by Geth courier ship, and was currently being installed into it.
Holly glanced around the docking level, and couldn't help but by hit by a notion of how...unchanged it all seemed. Everything. Well, actually, that wasn't entirely true...there were Geth wandering around now, more Quarians, and more Krogan, but fewer Batarians Beyond the mix of people though, it was almost...
She wasn't sure what it was she was looking for, what to expect. Just that it seemed everyone had so easily settled back into their normal routines, that this slice of life she was observing on the Citadel seemed to be no different than any other time before the Reaper War.
Suppose it's a defense mechanism. The sooner everyone can get to forgetting about it, the better. With the Reapers cleaning everything up so efficiently, that's only made it easier for everyone to collectively shut the experience out.
Still, she had expected...something to happen once she arrived. Perhaps an angry team of legal sharks and military police from the Systems Alliance to "protest" what she had done, waiting to pounce.
But no...it was if there had been absolutely no ripples at all from her most recent mission.
Well...might as well head to the apartment and...
"Holly!"
A familiar voice had called out, causing her heart to leap in her throat.
Wait...what?! That...it couldn't have been.
"Dahdee!"
A miniature Asari came toddling along, moving as fast as her little legs would take her, and latched on tightly to Holly's calf.
Hippolyta? But that means...
"Lee Lee!" she called out excitedly, and reached down to claim her daughter, a delighted smile breaking out on her lips. She glanced over and saw Liara approaching.
What...why where they here on the Citadel? Not that she was complaining, but she thought they would still be on Thessia.
And then it hit her.
Shepard hugged Hippolyta tight, almost as if to use her as a shield from any wrath oncoming from her bondmate.
"Hi...Hi sweetie..."
Liara stopped short, and crossed her arms, a mixture of disdain and annoyance attempting to suppress the outright joy she felt at the moment.
"Shit. I am...totally the worst wife in the Galaxy, right at this moment." She then winced even more at the realization she was now going to have to put credits in the Swear Jar back home.
Ever so stupidly, she somehow managed to forget that Liara was going to be on the Citadel giving a lecture with Javik as part of the promotion for her book, which had only recently been published. And that was when the memory came rushing back, something about promising that she'd be there on time to be in the audience, giving her support...
Liara tapped her foot for a few seconds, sighed softly, and then shook her head. "Yes. Yes you are. However, the Galaxy is a very large place, and in...three...two...one." She made a show of checking her Omni. "There. I'm quite certain some other person out there has treated their spouse in an even worse fashion. Now you are absolved of the title."
"Ummm...I love you?" Holly tried to offer up in her further defense, looking as sheepish as possible.
Liara wasn't able to keep up her stony front any further, as she leaned in, gently gripping her bondmate's face, and kissed her firmly. Hippolyta giggled gleefully in reaction.
"I love you too", Liara breathed out. "Welcome home, my love. But...you ARE going to be my slavegirl, for at least an entire week."
Holly shook her head "Yeah well...I was going to do that anyhow. So, doesn't count. This...I promise, I'll do something to make it up to you."
She then added, "So...how did it go? The promotional event?"
Liara worked at her bottom lip with her teeth for a moment, frustration flashing in her eyes, before giving a resigned shrug. "It was...acceptable. I suppose. Despite the fact that I wrote a book about and had on hand for answering questions the last living Prothean in the universe, it would seem that the rest of the Galaxy has...moved on."
"Mostly Hanar in the audience then, huh? Asking questions on the finer points of Enkindling?"
Liara groaned softly and then nodded, "Something like that."
"Hair! Wed! Wed hair!" Hippolyta cried out, chubby hands pulling hard on tufts of Holly's hair. Shepard responded by pulling her daughter in close, rubbing noses, and calling out "Booga booga boo! A-booga booga! Who's my Magic Sparkle Princess? You! That's who!"
Hippolyta shrieked with glee, wiggling and squirming, and it was a good minute before she would consent to being held normally, so that her parents could start walking on.
"So...shall we stay the night then, or head straight home now?"
Holly blinked. "Oh...um...actually. There is...there is business. This thing. I gotta do." She turned to Liara. "Tomorrow's going to be a big day, actually."
A hairless brow rose over one eye on Liara's face. "I'm...intrigued. And exactly what is it that you are planning?"
"Surprise. It's...it's a surprise. Trust me on this sweetie...things might look a little...weird tomorrow, but I promise you, afterwards, our lives are going to be so much better... togetheaaaah!."
Hippolyta laughed at the response pulling at her father's earlobe had elicited.
"So...not even a single hint?"
Holly worked to disengage her ear from her daughter's grasping fingers, and then carefully shook her head. "Nope. Feel free to make that two weeks of slavegirlhood, if you want, but it's a surprise."
Liara leaned in, threading an arm around her bondmates, continuing to walk slowly alongside her.
"I think I will be more than happy to have you take us both out to dinner, tonight."
Holly sighed peacefully. If it seemed that little truly was changing in the Galaxy these days, perhaps that suited her just fine.
"...is agreed then that in light of successful rebuilding efforts, we will reduce the current per ton import tariff on raw titanium to five credits?"
Tevos, the Ambassador to the Asari looked to the other three Council members, each of whom nodded their assent.
It was a quiet day in the Council Chambers, with the assembled leaders trying to cut through the backlog of minutia that had recently crept up.
Sparatus, representing the Turians, spoke next, "I believe we have received another petition from the Quarians to..."
He was cut off by Esheel, who had recently replaced the aging Valern as Salarian Councilor, "Apologies, but has anyone noticed many members of the Press gathering at the the Council Tower?"
"I'm sorry...what?" Tevos asked, eyes widening.
Each Councilor turned to their computer displays, confirming for themselves that there was indeed a sizable gathering at the foot of the Tower, assembled around one of the raised platforms used for public speaking.
Sparatus leaned back and drawled, "Does...anyone know anything about this? Was there some sort of press conference we've ALL managed to forget about?"
All eyes turned to Councilor Hackett, expectantly.
The Human Councilor rolled his eyes, snorting with a small amount of exasperated indignation, "Oh, now why are the three of you looking at me? I assure you, I have as much of an idea as to what's going on as the rest of you. Which is none." He then shook his head and sighed. While he had made significant headway in repairing Humanity's good name after the blows it suffered on the Council under Udina and Armitage, there was obviously work still yet to be done.
They continued to peer at the growing crowd, and just before anyone in the room could think to investigate further, the elevator from the Presidium level arrived, doors opening; Shepard stepped out, approaching the dais that the press had gathered around.
"Okay, now everybody stare at Tevos." Hackett said, half-jokingly, a smirk of amusement blooming over his lips. Regardless, the other Councilors did indeed glance over to her.
Raising her hands up, she responded, "Again, I am as much in the dark as anyone else here. I...perhaps it would be prudent to adjourn at this point."
"Good idea" Sparatus mused, "Don't exactly have a good feeling about what's happening down there."
Holly was dressed in her custom-fitted armored Asari Commando leathers, with the Spectre logo worked onto pauldrons at her shoulders. She had taken the time to tie her hair up into a professional-looking bun, restoring the stern air she used to cultivate back in the days when she was still a Lieutenant Commander in the Systems Alliance.
The crowd was getting restless; Holly had sent out a very terse message to most, if not all of the major media outlets across Council space barely eight hours previous, informing them that she would be holding a short press conference regarding matters affecting the future of galactic stability. Having stayed largely out of the public eye since her last visit to Earth, the media was now champing at the bit to see what she had to say.
Holly had spent the better part of the night working on her statement. Speech writing was far from her strong suit, even though she had been asked to make public statements as part of ongoing Spectre investigations in the past year.
This...was going to be quite different.
Fortunately, she discovered Glyph had a rather useful tool for the purpose built into his software suite, and had worked with him up until barely half an hour ago, trying to get it just right.
She cleared her throat, signalling that she was about to begin, and then clasped her hands behind her back.
"Thank you all for coming. I have a few short remarks to make, so I'll thank you in advance for bearing with me while I make them. Then, I'll be more than happy to answer a few short questions.
She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts, trying to still her nerves before speaking once again.
"Becoming a Spectre is a great honor, and a responsibility. I understood this when I was first appointed to the position. My duty is to do what's right; to uphold what's right and – where necessary – to fight for what's right. It's an obligation entrusted to me by the Council and carried out for the common good of all Council species, everywhere."
"My first mission was to bring the rogue Spectre, Saren Arterius, to justice, together with the Geth Heretic faction that chose to aid the Reaper flagship, Sovereign. The mission culminated in a battle for our survival at the Citadel. And once it was over, and the dust had settled, galactic citizens were told that the Geth and the Reapers were no longer a threat.
She still was a bit sore about that...history had proven her right, of course. At a cost of hundreds of billions of lives. Hell of a way to get vindication.
"The Geth were my enemy. In the years leading up to the war, I destroyed more than I can count. I truly believed there could never be any common ground with them...or maybe any synthetics at all...to lay the foundations of friendship.
She let that sink in for a few seconds, before turning her attention towards a different group of reporters in the crowd.
"I was wrong."
"The sacrifice of one Geth, whom we dubbed Legion – actually, the 1,183 Geth programs of which he was composed - led to the Consensus coming into the war at the same time as the Geth achieved true sentience. And as we made our final push towards Earth, they fought the Reapers alongside us organics – whatever our color, culture or creed – with great courage and conviction. They became trusted and valued allies. Many of us fought beside them, and they died alongside us. Some even became our friends.
Her heart ached, and for a moment, it was as if she were back on Rannoch again, Legion silently crumpling into a heap, having just sent his final "gift" to his people. She had never seen anything like it before...or since.
"Legion was my friend. A great...person. And I still feel his loss deeply, to this day.
She tilted her head for a moment, downward, her hands having moved to clasp themselves in front of her face, just for a few brief seconds. It wouldn't be until much later she realized how much it looked like she was saying a prayer. And maybe, in her own way, she was.
"But the Geth aren't the only synthetics in town. A few years ago, we Humans accidentally produced our own synthetic child. During the war, she helped lead the assembled armada to Earth. Laid the killing blow against Cerberus. Punched through Reaper lines on the streets of London. And – amazingly – found the time to fall in love with a human man. Her name is EDI...and I'm as proud to call her friend as I was to call Legion"
"EDI is a veteran. A war hero. If you ever met her, you'd find her caring and sweet and funny, in her own unique ways. But it's unlikely you'd have done it anytime after the war ended - because after a short respite, where her contributions were largely ignored, steps were finally taken by the Systems Alliance to put her in chains and make her a slave."
Internally, Holly couldn't help but smile. She noticed more than a few individuals in the crowd had flinched at her strong, straightforward accusation.
"She's a person. She's a friend...MY friend, and I care for her deeply. So do many others. Slavery is illegal in Council space, but the Terran courts, despite my highest hopes, were determined to take away those rights and make her property, instead. But no court can take away her right to exist, her right to be free.
"As a Spectre, it's my duty to fight injustice. In the face of judicial and political ignorance, it was my duty to take action to right this wrong. I can confirm that a little over four weeks ago, EDI was taken into my protective custody and has been granted asylum by the Geth Consensus. I am grateful for their assistance with this operation –"
"So the rumors are true then? Did you bust her out of the Normandy?" one reporter called out.
Shepard winced, internally.
God damnit, you give these guys ONE simple request, and they just can't help themselves...
"I intercepted the vessel and removed her into my custody. No organics – or synthetics – were hurt...but EDI has suffered horrific psychological scars as a result of her experience. She trusted Humanity and I'm very sorry to say that we let her down."
A cacophony of voices burst below her. Holly knew that she had stoked the crowd up to the point that the only way they'd quiet down is if she started to take questions. She chose one from Jaelon Moran of the Sur'kesh Planet; she knew him well, by reputation if nothing else, and he was practically leaping into the air with his arm raised.
"YoucalledusallheretotalkaboutoneAI?" he rattled out. She paused for a second to decipher his words before replying.
"Uhhh...well no, Jaelon," Holly replied. "Although I am quite dismayed, even devastated by what the Systems Alliance, an organization that I dedicated almost half my life to, did to my friend. Those aren't the values I swore an oath to defend. But I invited you here to talk about the question all this points to – how we relate to synthetic life."
She gently smacked her open palm with her fist, "Organic life will always create synthetic life –"
"There's no evidence for that..." another squawked "...you can't generalize from the mistakes the Quarians made..."
"I'm not," Holly clarified. "We all know the Reapers harvested civilizations on a regular cycle. And now...I'm about to tell you the reason why. Something many of you out there may not be aware of."
"Over a billion and a half years ago, a race that has been dubbed "The Leviathans", who ruled supremely over the Galaxy, detected a pattern in their subject races: Time after time, as organic civilization became increasingly complex, they created synthetics... and in most cases, they nearly wiped each other out. Their answer to dealing with this problem was to create a synthetic lifeform of their own."
Holly had to raise a hand up, her voice growing in intensity, as a the murmurs rippling through the assembled reporters threatened to overwhelm her.
"But they made a mistake. Their creation was limited in its ability to truly understand the universe, and it ultimately came to the horrific conclusion that the only way to save life in the Galaxy was to periodically 'wipe the slate clean', destroying all organics and any synthetics they had created before they could possibly do the same to each other. Most information about the Leviathans is classified, I'm afraid. But I can confirm that I personally made contact with them, and through this meeting, they came to play a small but crucial part in the victory over the Reapers."
They also scared the living hell out of her. In the back of her mind, she had to wonder why no one else had ever thought to ask: What will the Leviathan do, now that their creations had essentially been lobotomized?"
Another correspondent – Holly dimly recalled her name was Alecto - snorted: "You've got to be kidding me. You're saying a – a- master race of –"
Holly started to rub at her temples with forefinger and thumb, a headache brewing.
"You know, I'm getting a weird sense of déjà vu here, folks," Holly smiled slightly; a ripple of laughter rose from the pack. "I've been here before. If you take just one thing I say on faith, it's this."
"So what's your answer? Do we cosy up to the synthetics or do we make sure none of their kind are ever created again? Can we avoid the same fate? Why did you go to all the trouble to save your friend if say we're just going to end up destroying each other?"
This was Higgs – she couldn't remember where he was from, but his voice rose higher as he spoke until he finished with a hysterical squeak. Worried murmurs blew like a breeze through the crowd. Holly quieted them with a somewhat peevish wave of her hand.
"Okay, those are good questions. And you know what? I just don't have all the answers. But I do know this one, irrefutable fact: We were the cycle that finally broke the Reapers' endless repetition of destruction. In the process, many of us came to know synthetics as people. If not people like us, then at least people in their own right. Will abusing and ostracising them somehow save us? No."
Her voice began to rise in pitch, taking on a more fervent tone. From here, she was beginning to speak from the heart.
"Will trying to put our current generation of synthetic children back in their box...because like it or not, they ARE OUR children...prevent future generations having the same problem? No. But in the war, I fought...and a lot of you did too. We fought shoulder to shoulder with Krogans, Salarians, Batarians, Asari...and even taking into account that time I switched teams -" cue sniggering from the crowd - "and Geth. And people like EDI. Synthetics."
They were silent. She had them. God please, she hoped she had them.
"We united against the Reapers and we at last changed our destiny, and the fate of our Galaxy. For the first time in over a billion years. And so we've already proven the fate of earlier cycles doesn't need to be ours. As a Spectre I can take a stand to fight for what's right, but I can't make galactic society understand. I can't take that decision – I can only raise the flag, and leave it to you guys to draw attention to it, to act upon it."
She started to step down from the dais.
"This decision can't be left simply to the powers that be, not to people like the Council, or their enforcers, like me. Everyone has to decide. That is why I have chosen today to resign as a Spectre. I intend to retire to private life. Or at least a less public one. Hopefully, this action will help underscore the seriousness and depth of conviction I have for this issue."
She began to approach the crowd, her voice rising above the clamor once more, "Because history needs to remember this. Because I need something that will make you all remember my words here, today..." she closed her eyes, bowed her head, took a breath...
And just like that, she was out of steam.
She took advantage of the stunned silence in the crowd, trying to move through, or around them, and made it only halfway before the questions ran fast and furious.
"Are these Leviathan still around? Are they now a threat?"
"Isn't it true that you're simply resigning ahead of being drummed out by the Council for attacking your own people?"
"Can we still trust the Reapers, Colonel?"
"So Shepard...are you in league with the Geth to overthrow the Council, then? In the end, aren't you really no better than Saren? Another dictatorial thug determined to tell Humanity how to live?"
Out of the corner of her eye, Holly could spot who had asked that last question.
Khalisah al-Jilani. She had stepped out from the crowd, imperiously holding a recording device in front of her face. It seemed she had managed to bounce back from her little scandal a year and a half ago, and the look in her eyes spoke volumes:
She wanted payback.
Oh God...I'm all out of words...now what do I do?
Holly stepped up to the reporter on nervous impulse, pulled up to her full height, reached around to her side, fingers straying over the butt of her sidearm...
...a panicked gasp rose through the nearest witnesses...
...a look of sheer, disbelieving terror overtook al-Jilani's face...
...and then Holly produced a datapad from a large hip pocket.
"That's a fantastic question, babe. How you doing? How's fatherhood treating you? Best, decision I ever made, I know." She then wrapped an arm around al-Jilani's shoulders, pulling her to her side like she were a boon companion; the other woman was far too stunned and surprised to resist.
"So lets just ignore that incredibly stupid question you just asked me. Instead, buy a copy of my wife's book! Her name is Liara T'Soni, and it's called 'Journeys With The Prothean'. Ahh...I only just started reading it myself...I mean, hell, I was there for most of it, right? But it's good! Aside from being one of the sexiest, toughest, and most capable women in the Galaxy, she's got a hell of a knack for making academic topics really...come alive! Here, someone can have my copy, I've got a stack back at home!"
With that, she let al-Jilani go, tossed her datapad into the crowd, and took advantage of the confusion to finally make it into the elevator.
As the doors closed behind her, the first pangs of regret began to tear at her, as she realized what she had just done.
Hitting the stop button, she gave out a loud roar, and began smashing her fists against the metal walls, yelling at herself.
STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID
She had gone...nuts...for want of a better word. Had just completely lost it For just a moment, one disastrous moment, she had let that flippant part of herself have too much free reign, at time when she absolutely needed to keep it in check.
She could just see the fallout now, the horrific realization that the point she was trying to make, the moment she was trying to create in history, would be diluted by what was essentially a cheap, impromptu marketing ploy.
The damage was done though. Nothing left but to walk away from the mess she had created for herself, and hope that enough people took what she had said to heart.
Resting her head against one of the walls, she suddenly realized just how relieved she was to finally be rid of it all, this terrible power, responsibility, expectation. It was up to the rest of the Galaxy to sink or swim now. The great "Commander Shepard" that had been built up in everyone's heads over the year was, she hoped, dead at last, or at least well on it's way to an end.
Holly was drowning her sorrows in a glass of whiskey, tucked away in the corner, sitting at her favorite table at the Apollo Cafe. Despite the jangling nerves still roiling in her stomach, she was in an okay place mentally; if nothing else, there was never a cloudy day on the Presidium, and the view was always pleasant.
She had tried to pay visits to the Council members one by one, not terribly surprised to discover that Hackett and Tevos both were refusing to take her calls. Esheel had only a few curt words for her, prepared boiler plate about thanking her for her service, but it was clear the new Salarian Ambassador was cut from the same bitchy cloth as Linron had been. A damn shame Valern still wasn't around, she Holly had a rather soft spot in her heart for the former Councilor.
Sparatus...seemed more amused than anything else. Perhaps a touch over-familiar with her in wishing her all the best, to the point where she wasn't quite sure s to whether she was being mocked or not.
When it was all said and done, Holly had to wonder whether the Council was being tough on her because of the way she had handled her resignation, or if they had all looked down upon her in the past, and now she'd merely given them an excuse to act upon it. In the end, Holly decided that there was no point in nursing any sort of grudge; either she had the Council's respect during her tenure, or she didn't. There was no point in worrying about it any longer.
A feminine voice being cleared broke her out of her revere...
Tevos stood stiffly by the table, looking out over the Presidium, and not directly at Shepard.
She slowly turned, her bearing stiff and imperious, speaking in a soft, even tone of voice, and remarked, "So Colonel...it seems you've been on quite a tear, these days."
She did not shout, was not the shouting type. Indeed, those who knew her best all held fast to the belief that Tevos T'Naori was at her most dangerous when she was at her quietest.
Holly held up her hands, sighed and said "You're pissed. And you have every right to be. I'm sure the first thing going through your mind right now is "Why didn't she at least have the decency to tell me first, before she went and resigned in such a public fashion?"
The Asari Councilor paused, narrowing her eyes, neck cracking just ever so slightly to one side. "I would suggest that you are presently in no position to tell me what I'm thinking at the moment. However...yes." She closed her eyes, let out a deep, clensing breath, and then said, in a tone that was more genuinely calm this time around, "At the very least, I had hoped that we were...friends, if nothing else. Perhaps we weren't the sort to go around inviting each other for dinner, but, I believed we respected each other. I know that I had that respect for you..."
Biting down on her lip, Holly winced...but at the same time, she couldn't help but nod in acknowledgement. It was a fair blow.
"Would you believe me if I told you that it was specifically BECAUSE I respected you that I didn't come to you until now?"
Tevos returned a look that suggested incredulity at best. "Do. Tell."
Shepard motioned for Tevos to take a seat at the table, which the Councilor did after a brief pause. Holly then leaned in a little closer, trying to assume a casual, non-threatening demeanor in her body language, "You're the best peacemaker in ten-thousand light years. Probably the entire Galaxy. I'm sorry Tevos, but I needed to go through with this. I needed to walk through, light the fuse, and then not look back. To be bluntly honest, I knew that if I came to you first, and explained everything going on...you might talk me down. And I just couldn't take that risk."
The Ambassador was silent at first. She then gave a deep, exasperated sigh "Being the peacemaker that I am, as you put it, I can see there is more going on to this than choosing a certain political hill to die upon."
"Do you want a drink?"
"No...no thank you."
"Well, too bad. I don't want to drink alone right now, and the least I can do is get you a glass of elasa...or whatever else you're having.."
Nodding her assent, Holly flagged down one of the nearby waiters, ordering two glasses of Asari liquor.
Taking one of the offered drinks, Tevos saluted with her own glass, and then tossed most of her drink back in one easy, well-practiced motion. Shepard saluted likewise, and downed her own drink in a similar fashion.
Tevos paused to catch her breath for a moment, and was suddenly signalling for the waiter to return with two more drinks, "This was coming for a while, wasn't it? Even before you began this strange little crusade of yours."
Shepard deflated a bit, at that last line. She couldn't expect Tevos to understand, not right away.
"Yeah...yeah, you're right. I'm seeing now...have been seeing for a while...that continuing on with being a Spectre is getting harder to do. I've got a wife, and a kid. They need me. I need them. I can't do that while I'm galavanting up and down the Galaxy, trying to maintain the peace. Even if I get to pick my version of the peace. Which is also a problem."
I've seen many Spectres in my time, Colonel. I've seen some with children...and some with spouses...but I've never seen a Spectre with both, who could make it work. Something had to give."
"Yeah, that's a lot of it. Also...no offense, I know I'm new to the game here, all the Humans are...but this system you've set up? Find individuals with some streak of ambition and ruthlessness in them, and give them near unchecked power? How the hell has that not blown up in the Council's face? After all this time?"
The Turian waiter came back with a full carafe of Serrice Ice Brandy, and murmured "No charge, ladies." Holly filled both of the glasses, handing one over to Tevos, and murmuring "Boy, it's good to be the Queen."
At this, Tevos did give a slight smile. She recrossed her legs, sipping softly, then glanced at Shepard, the expression on her face registering as a parent trying to explain something complex to a child.
"It...simply works, Shepard. For over two-thousand years, it has worked. I would think that should be testament enough."
"And yet in three years, I had to put down two rogue Spectres, both of whom had agendas far different than the Councils. Okay granted, Saren was indoctrinated, but he came close, Tevos. SO CLOSE."
"You stopped him, Shepard. Again, the system worked..."
"I. Got. Lucky. YOU got lucky, all of us did. Had Tali not managed to be in the right place, in the right time, to make the recording she did, to get it into the right hands...so many delicate pieces had to come together, with no margin for error. And yeah, it all worked out in the end, but it wasn't because of anything inherent in the system itself. Frankly, I'm just...absolutely flabbergasted that you haven't had some sort of coup, at least once in the last two millennia."
Tevos held out one long, elegant finger, pointing it in Holly's direction, "Ah, but you forget...YOU stopped them. YOU were part of the system. Please do give us SOME credit Shepard. That we make sure to create the right balance within our Spectres. I will admit it is a complex and...messy-seeming processes, but we take these things into account when new Spectres are appointed. As for your question...yes, there have been attempts. None of them succeeded. Nor did they get very far in the first place. Again Shepard...the system simply works. I don't know how to explain it any better to you than that. You Humans are young...in so many ways. I'm sure one day you'll understand."
Holly glanced down, looking into her empty glass, and murmured, "Maybe...but not me. Not anytime soon. I look at myself and all I see is that if I stay down this path, I'm going to turn into a Saren...or a Tela Vasir. It'll all be for the best reasons of course. That's what I'll tell myself. That I'm doing what the Council expects me to do...to preserve the stability and peace. But I think what I've done over the past month and a half shows that my vision of peace and stability is...rather different from your own...don't you think?"
Tevos reached over, grabbing the carafe and refilling Shepard's glass. She leaned back, stretching out, and said, "This is really so important to you, isn't it? You really do believe that this issue...organics, synthetics living together...is what the fate of the Galaxy will hinge upon?"
Holly nodded once, nursing her brandy, "I do. And I believe I made it pretty clear why. I...I just hope you think about it. That's all. I guess that's what it comes down to, if I do something this crazy, this out of left field, it will make you think about it."
"Hmmmph. Well...alright then. I suppose it will, at that. Well, I can't promise you anything, but...I won't simply let this slip off to the wayside either. Not after all the trouble you've gone through to see to that. I'll do my best to see how this issue can be addressed, in a more concrete fashion."
Shepard wasn't sure who she was talking to at that moment: Tevos the Politician, the woman who excelled at telling people exactly what they wanted to hear...or simply Tevos the Asari, who while perhaps not a boon companion, was an associate for whom she had tremendous respect, built up over these past few years.
"So...what happens now? I mean, other than I clean my desk out at Spectre HQ."
"Well, Colonel, I suppose that's entirely up to you."
"The fact that you're still addressing me by my military rank leads me to believe there's still a place in the Commandos for me."
Tevos smirked wryly, "Oh, you're still too much a beloved daughter of Thessia to be drummed out for what is essentially a Council issue. I'm sure there will be one or two Asari who will demand you be demoted but...no. There is nothing to be gained in somehow trying to punish you. Not really."
"Good. Because I really would like to stay on. The Academy has been having me teach infiltration and sniping...and I think that's probably a good direction to stay in. Gives me a chance to pass on what I know, keeps me close to home."
Shepard rose to her feet, "Speaking of which...if you'll excuse me, Councilor...but I should get back home myself."
Tevos nodding, rising as well, to meet her as she departed. "Of course. Do give my best to your bondmate...and your daughter as well?"
"You got it."
As Holly began to head out of the cafe, Tevos called out, "And Shepard...please...do stay in touch, won't you? Just because you're no longer a Spectre means we should drift apart."
Holly smiled softly, turning for a moment to regard to Councilor. "Well, if you'd like to come over for dinner, the next time you're back on Thessia?"
"Hmmm...I do not believe any of my Spectres ever asked me to dine with them, previously."
"Yeah well...technically, I'm not a Spectre anymore but...I'll let you count it if you want." She gave a wry grin.
"Oh...and one more thing...speaking of Spectres and picking them and what not. For what it's worth? I know Udina just did it for political reasons, but Ash? Give her a fair shake. I promise you...one day you're going to find out that woman was a better fit for the job than I ever could be. Twenty years from now, people will be talking about Spectre Williams, when they've long forgotten about that Shepard woman."
Tevos smiled gently, "Well...I do remember what decision she made, when Udina had the gun trained on me. When picking sides mattered greatly. Don't worry, Shepard...if I had serious doubts about her fit for the job...well...once again, the system would see that she was balanced out."
And with that, the two parted company at last, Tevos sitting herself back down at the table to finish the rest of the brandy.
"Hi there! Imma Slappy Joe! You and me, sistah, we gonna be pals!"
Hippolyta sat on the floor, clapping her hands with utter delight, and cried out, "Yay! Mine!" before giving the toy robot a tight, possessive hug. Shepard had been so impressed with the toy drone that the Geth had created for her for the Normandy mission that she had asked if they would consider making a new one, with an appropriately programmed VI. The voice was oddly grating though, but she figured she could fix that later.
"Slappy Joe 2.0" made an exaggerated waving motion with his arms once Hippolyta put him down. He then began performing an energetic tap dance, singing out,
"Oh, if you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin' on the Ritz!"
Holly beamed with absolute joy watching her daughter play. Then turned around, and gasped, running almost smack into Liara...who somehow had managed to appear behind her without any warning. Considering that Shepard had spent many years studying the art and science of stealth, this sort of thing tended to put the fear of God into her.
That, and Liara's expression. Seething, more than livid.
"Shepard" she growled out. That was when Holly knew she was in trouble. That was how Liara announced, You are so in fucking trouble right now. The crossing of her arms, the slight cock of her hips. It was the best way she could ever remind people that once upon a time, she had been the Shadow Broker, and used to go around threatening to flay people with her mind.
"Hi...sweetie. Look! Look at the awesomely distracting cool toy that I got for our daughter, who I love very much! Almost as much as you!"
Holding a painful grin on her face, and seeing that it was having precisely zero penetrative power on her bondmate's frosty disposition, she sighed, hung her head, and murmured "Alright. Yeah, it was a dumb move, deciding to spring my retirement on you out of the blue. I should have had a serious, adult discussion with you, and I acted childishly."
It was almost thirty seconds before Liara responded, "Do you know that the promotional exonet site for my book has crashed? Crashed...completely. Do you know how many hits have to be generated for that sort of thing to happen? To my site, the one that I personally designed and coded?"
"...Um...gonna say a number between a zillion and a gah-zillion?"
Liara's frown deepened.
"Whoa...wait...wait just a second." She tried to lead Liara over towards the side hallway. If the two of them were about to have an honest to goodness argument, she didn't want to be so close to their daughter. "You're...you're upset because everyone's trying to buy a copy of your book now?"
"Yes! Because...because I wanted it to succeed by its own merits. By MY own merits. I didn't want it to be some sort of novelty that only was purchased because I am the wife of a Galactic Crazyperson!"
Holly hung her head, covering her eyes, and sighed out hard, "...Sorry. I am...I only had the best of intentions. I just...well, you seemed so frustrated at the turnout for your promo, that when I got sideswiped by that b...b-word...I suddenly thought "Damnit, I'm going to turn this into something nice for someone I love.". But...you're right. I didn't really stop and consider how it would make you feel. I've just been...gone on this mission, out on my own for so long, with so much personal power at my fingertips...well...you see why I quit now, right? Why I thought that if I kept up with being a Spectre, it was just going to lead to ruin in the end."
Liara began to succumb, the effort to keep her self-righteous indignation going crumbling apart.. She sighed heavily, "I...yes. I suppose I do. Now. And I guess it was all done with the best of intentions..."
"Yeah...good intentions. You see how good intentions are going to keep getting me into trouble, if I don't step away from it all."
Liara finally cracked something resembling a smile, as she stepped up close, using the pretext of brushing some dust off Holly's uniform to slide her fingers slowly over her. "I...believe that I will forgive, in time. Large amounts of foot and backrubs will be needed. And you will let me brush your hair until it absolutely shines. And..."
Holly laughed low, wrapping her arms around her wife, "Done, done. Totally done. I'm going to be around so much now that you're going to get absolutely sick of me."
Leaning in, her lips hovering a hairsbreadth away from Holly's, Liara murmured in a sultry tone, "I look forward to gauging the accuracy of that statement."
They kissed at long last, and the world around them seemed to dissolve away...
...at least until Hippolyta bounded into both of them, looking up and saying "Fank-oo Dahdee."
Holly scooped her daughter up, and held her close, the other arm wrapped around Liara. It had been a long few months, but she felt like things were finally, at long last, going to settle down. In the way she had wanted, for a long, long time.
"Holy sweet Jesus, you were not kidding, woman."
Shepard was hunched over, sitting on the side of the bed, as Liara continued to brush away at her long, crimson locks, as she had done for well over the past hour; it was as she could simply not get enough, making up for lost time.
"I'm sorry, what was that? It sounded like someone was asking for a spanking."
Holly sighed delicately, closed her eyes, and smiled amiably. "Nothing, Mistress. This girl lives only to serve you."
Liara leaned in close, murmuring heatedly against her bondmate's ear, "Indeed, you do." She gave her bondmate a playful swat with the flat back of the hairbrush in her hand, and started to imperiously declare, "Now, I do believe I should have you..."
Interrupted suddenly by a pinging from the message console, Glyph sprang to life, announcing, "Colonel Shepard, you have a priority call from Admiral Shala'Raan vas Rannoch."
Liara...was less than pleased, but nodded in response to the silent query that Holly gave her.
Rising with a stretch, with creaking that followed, as if her body was dead set on reminding her she wasn't getting any younger, Holly slowly wandered over to the terminal, sat down, and then opened the channel.
"Ah, Colonel. Good to see you. I hope you don't mind my calling you at this hour..."
Giving her most diplomatic smile, Holly responded, "Not at all...good to hear from you. I hope all is well over in your neck of the Galaxy these days."
"Oh yes! Quite. That's...actually the reason I've called. I just saw that speech you gave. It's getting heavy replay here in Quarian space...well...Quarian AND Geth space, of course. Hmmm...well...easiest thing is probably to just cut straight to the point: your words have deeply resonated with our people. And while it's only been a few years now, I'd like to think that for the most part, whatever enmity that existed between us and...well..I suppose we should honestly call them 'our children', is largely gone. More and more of us are remembering that there were those of us who stood up for Geth, sheltered them, cried out for peace, in the madness leading up to the Ge..ah...well..the Morning War."
Holly leaned back, steepling her fingers as she did. "I'm glad to hear that things are working out so well between both nations. I...uh...well...sometimes I forget, I'm not the only one who wants to ensure that synthetics and organics are finally able to live in some sort of lasting peace."
"Yes well, I should get right to the point of this call then. There have been some rumblings for a while now, about forming a more permanent and official alliance with the Geth. Rannoch is now as much their home as ours, for they are as much our children as any other. It won't be for a few more days though, but I thought you'd like to know now: we've been in discussion with them on this matter, and in a few days, we all plan to announce our intention to form a Quarian-Geth Union. There are, of course, some hardliners who are opposed to the plan, but we have enough of a majority, and I hope all but the most bitter of them come around in time. The most persuasive argument so far has been that by combining into one political entity, we have a much greater chance at eventually obtaining a seat on the Council."
Holly couldn't help but give a beaming smile, letting out a heavy sigh as she did.
"That...that's the best news I think I could have possibly heard. Thank you...something like this..." She swallowed hard, and then continued, "It's exactly what I needed to hear. What I would have hoped would happen."
"Well...I very much doubt that it would have happened at all, without everything that you have done, every battle that you fought, trying to get both sides to see reason...so of course, when the time is right, we insist that you come as a special guest for the treaty signing. We Quarians have spent so many centuries as a cautionary tale regarding the creation and mistreatment of synthetic life; it's long past time that we instead serve as an example, that both co-exist and flourish together. Anyhow...I know it must be getting late on the Citadel, but I just wanted to let you know, personally. Have a pleasant evening, Colonel."
"Ohhh...you can be sure of that, Admiral. And...thanks. I'm definitely looking forward to coming to Rannoch for a visit."
Holly closed the channel, and drifted back to bed, sitting on the side, a serene look of contentment on her face. She hadn't expected results...certainly not right away. Maybe never. At best, she had hoped to plant the seeds of thought into the minds of the next generation, not even stopping to consider there was already fertile enough ground already.
For a split second, she wondered if she had to have gone through with it...resigning as a Spectre. She then shook her head and dashed away any lingering regrets; that was going to happen, no matter what, and she shouldn't give in to any second thoughts now.
"You must be very happy, love." Liara gently wrapped her arms around Holly's neck, hugging her from behind.
"I am." Holly replied in a near-whisper. "I...I never stopped to think what it might be like if I actually won." She then chuckled softly, turned, and said, "I can think of how I could be even happier though." Her mouth moved in, gently capturing Liara's, a soft, slow kiss gradually building in passion and intensity.
As they parted, Liara leaned back on the bed, beckoning Holly over with a crooked finger. "Well then...here's to many more long nights to come, then."
Holly was more than happy to second that notion.
A/N: So remember way back in Chapter 15, when it seemed like I forgot most of the Council members names, and came up with new ones? Yeah, I was being stupid then, so lets just pretend that didn't happen; I'm too tired and lazy to go back and change it now :-)
For some reason, this was a difficult chapter to write. As in, I had to conquer some of the worst writers/motivation block I'd ever hit in my life thus far. But I managed to persevere, so it was a good experience, just for that. As always, many, many thanks to Caracal22, Worlds Best Beta, and who has recently changed her handle to Corentin IV, with whom I must share some authorial credit this go around. After I wrote the first draft, I knew the speech section needed work; Cara has a lot more practical speech writing experience than I do, and we worked together, writing that scene back and forth until we got something that I really liked, and that I think we can both take happy credit for.
Unfortunately, I am going to need to put this story on hitaus. Not for too long though, but it's obvious I'm hitting a bit of a wall...it's not that I don't know what to write next, it's just having to get the motivation going. Some of it is probably seasonal affective disorder, which hits me hard around this time of the year. But I am going to hit the pause button here, finish up Pretty Good Year (which only has three to five chapters to go) and then come back to this. So figure, a month, month and a half tops. Hope to see you all back here soon.
Oh, and a belated N7 Day to everyone. :-)
P.S. Who, oh who, I wonder, will become the coveted 100th person to follow this story? ;-)