Chapter 37: First Time For Everything

Ryan

I shivered a little and crossed my arms across my chest as Ellie continued to look in the window. She was engrossed in staring at these earrings- ones she said would be perfect for her mom. It was two weeks after the party at that chump's place. Ellie keeps telling me he isn't a bad guy, but I don't believe her. What kind of nerd kicks people out at a party? It's a party!

"Come on, Ellie... I thought you were mad at your mom anyway?" I pressed up against her back, trying to annoy her enough that she'd just forget about them.

"Ryan, it's Christmas! Anyway, I'm not mad at her anymore. You can't be mad at someone for saying the truth, right?" She pressed her forehead lightly against the glass and nodded. "She would love these earrings. Okay, let's go in."

"Finally!" I pulled her into a spontaneous hug and kissed her all over her face. "We should have just gone in, in the first place."

"You are so fun to shop with- complaining and all!" she gave me a smirk and led me into the store. I stood back as she talked with a salesman and watched their interaction. The salesman had a crocodile smile on as he pulled the earrings out of the front display and wrapped them in a box.

"One of a kind," Ellie smiled as she walked towards me.

"What?"

"The earrings. They're one of a kind. My mom's going to like them even more, now."

I shook my head in amusement and hooked an arm around her neck, drawing her closer to me. "So, what do you want for Christmas?"

"I don't care."

"That's not fair. I told you what I want."

"I know. But I really don't know."

"How about a surfing lesson when the weather gets warm?"

"Sweet. Very thoughtful. But... you know how some people have an insane fear of what is in the ocean?"

"Yeah?"

"That's me."

"That's crazy! The ocean is harmless."

"Oh yes... tidal waves, sharks, anglerfish... all very harmless."

"Anglerfish?"

She stopped and faced me. "The creepy fish with the fishing pole stuck to their head? It has a light on it to attract all other fishies. And when they get close, they see the huge, pointy, nasty teeth of the predator that's about to eat them. I did a report in the sixth grade on an article about the deep ocean. Ever since then... never again." She shuddered and laced her fingers through mine.

"Like you said, the deep ocean. We wouldn't have to go out too deep. You'll be safe- especially with me." I puffed out my chest and tried to appear macho. It didnt't really have the effect I wanted it to.

"Yeah, well, any part of the ocean doesn't really cut it for me. When I was in seventh grade, I went to the beach with my parents. I was swimming out in the ocean- actually, I was just floating on this raft- and I got down to walk back onto the beach, and, as I'm walking, I step on a stingray. The last thing I remember is seeing that tail come up and get my leg. I passed out after that."

I couldn't resist a laugh, "You have a story for everything. So, I'm guessing you're terribly afraid of rays now?"

"No," she shrugged. "Not really. I actually like them."

"That makes no sense. You make no sense."

"I've been told that before," she leaned her head against my shoulder and sighed happily.

I think I'm just starting to realize this- but Ellie's really starting to fall for me. I have the complete power to make her happy or sad or angry or... whatever feeling I want. It's a rush really. I don't know how far we'll go since I've never been one for long, serious relationships, but I'm having fun as of the moment. Who knows, maybe she'll be my first serious relationship. I could see it.

Ellie

"So, ice- skating is kind of like roller skating. Except, it's probably harder. I don't know. I'm awesome at ice-skating, so try and keep up with me," I finished tying my other skate and clapped my hands on my knee. "Okay, you ready?"

Ryan shrugged and stood up, wobbling a bit. "Yeah, I guess. How do you walk on these things?"

"Well, there are actually these covers you can put over the blades so you can walk, but, they don't have those here. So, we just have to tough it out. The rink is like three feet away. I think you can make it."

He rolled his eyes and held on to my arm so hard I thought he was going to break it. We slowly made our way to the edge of the pond and then onto it. "There. Okay, now, you just glide like you do when you roller-skate. Like this..." I skated out onto the rink gracefully.

Ryan pushed one foot forward. "Hey, this isn't so hard."

And then he fell. I covered my mouth with my hand and bit on my glove to keep myself from laughing out loud. There's really nothing funnier than watching someone fall when ice-skating- especially if it's a guy and he's tried to act all strong and tough. I skated back to him and put my hands out. "Here, let me help you."

"No, I got it... Okay, no I don't. Yeah, help me."

I grabbed onto his hands and tried to pull him up, but I couldn't. "Damn, Ryan. What have you been eating lately?"

"I think you're just weak."

"No, okay, you have to help me pull you up."

I tried again, but no luck. This time, though, I fell over on top of him. He wrapped his arms around my black pants and snuggled his face into my leather jacket. "I like it better like this. No risks."

I laughed and slapped playfully at his shoulder. "Come on! I really want to skate," I stood up. "Try getting on your hands and knees and getting up."

After a few tries, Ryan managed to shakily pull himself to his feet. I helped steady him and then grabbed his hand. "How about I just pull you along?"

He agreed and the rest of the hour was spent with me pulling him along behind me at a slow pace. He never got a hold of ice-skating. If anything, he kept getting worse and worse. We collapsed on the benches near the rink, shivering. I took my gloves off and rubbed my hands together.

"One thing I'm good at- buying hot chocolate. Want some?"

"Hot apple cider?"

"Sure. I'll be right back."

He kissed my cold cheek, his lips warming them up immediately. Two minutes later, he sat back down two steaming cups in his hand. "Here's the apple cider," he placed it in my shaking hands and I held it there, letting it warm me up.

"Are you coming to my concert this weekend?" I glanced up at him hopefully. I had told him about it last week. And the week before.

He gave me a confused look. "That's this weekend?"

"Yeah, Sunday."

"Damn, Ellie. I totally forgot it was this Sunday. For some reason, I thought it was next. I told Brice that I'd go skiing with him."

Ryan

"Oh, okay," she muttered. I could tell it wasn't okay, though. She was doing that thing with her mouth- that thing she does when she's pissed off. When she screws up her mouth like that, it's the scariest thing in the world. That's when you know she's very angry.

"Sorry..." I offered. What am I supposed to do, though? I promised Brice I'd go on this skiing trip with him. Brice has been my friend longer than Ellie's been my girlfriend. Plus, skiing or going to see someone sing? Come on, no one in their right mind wouldn't pick skiing.

"Whatever. I'm kind of tired. I want to go home."

"Are you serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she shot back, standing up quickly. Her apple cider jostled over and spilled onto her pants. "Look what you did!"

I rolled my eyes. Now I'm getting angry. "Stop blaming me for your mistakes. Fine, I'll take you home."

"Good!"

"Good!"

She tore off her skates and stuck them underneath her arm. I worked hard to get mine off just as fast, but didn't have much luck. I slammed them down on the rental counter and chased after her. "Slow down, El. Some of us had to return our skates. Some of us don't have our own pair."

"Screw you! I don't even know where that came from."

I shrugged and caught up with her. "Me neither. Come on, Ellie... Don't make me take you home. Let's go park somewhere and talk about this."

She shook her head, "No. I don't to go park with you. It's not always about sex, you know."

"I never said it was!" I tried to grab her hand, but she kept it out of my reach.

"You always expect it."

Okay, are we arguing about me missing her stupid concert or me wanting sex? Come on- I'm a teenaged boy! I don't enjoy watching people move their mouths and I enjoy sex. What's wrong with that? "Ellie, please. Let's talk." I put on my best pout and whimpered a little.

She turned towards me. "That's not going to work. I just want to go home, okay? Honestly, I'm really pissed at you because I told you about this concert a long time ago. And I told you how much it means to me. So, if you were a real man, you'd cancel your little skiing trip and come see me."

Ellie

"Bullshit!" He shouted. He spat on the ground, and I grimaced at how sick his display just

was. What is wrong with him? I'm trying to give him a second chance here, and he's not taking it. "I'm not canceling just because you're singing one song."

"You are so selfish!"

"I'm not the selfish one here. Any other girl would tell me to go skiing- to go have fun with my best friend- but you? It always has to be about you."

I could feel myself starting to lose it. My breathing was becoming rapid, my hands were clenching and unclenching, and my chin was shaking. I had to do something quick before I completely lashed out. "Take me home. Now."

"Take yourself home."

And he left. He stalked off towards the parking lot, and I had too much pride to go chasing after him for a ride home. Great, what am I supposed to do now? I'm about an hour away from home. I whipped out my cell phone and called a number I've been calling a lot lately.

"Yo."

"Jay, I need you. Will you come pick me up?" I made my voice sound as pitiful as possible. Really, I was just pissed off.

"I don't have my car. I let Sean take it. He had a date with Nikki tonight."

I could hear some fumbling going around in the background and a girl's voice. It was Alex. Gross, who knows what they were doing when I called. "Okay, I'll just call him."

"He's on a date."

"I really don't care."

I pressed END and punched in Sean's number. He picked up on the third ring. "Hey. What's up?"

"Will you pick me up?"

"What's wrong?"

"Ryan left me. He deserted me."

"Asshole. Okay, I'll pick you up. Where are you?"

"Um... the ice-skating rink in Freemont..." I let my reply trail off.

"Dammit, Ellie... Fine. Stay right there."

"It's about time!" I huffed, crawling into the backseat of Jay's car. Sean got back into the driver seat and slammed the door shut.

"I don't want to hear it, Nash. We just drove for an hour to get you."

"You're right. Sorry. I'm just a little on edge tonight," I leaned my head against the window.

"What happened to Ryan?" Nikki turned around in her seat and gave me a concerned look.

I rolled my eyes. "We got into a fight. And he left. End of story."

"What about?"

"Stupid crap," I rolled my eyes again to emphasize my point. Yeah, just Ryan being a stupid jerk. Is it really too much for me to ask him to be there for me? I've been talking about this stupid concert for weeks now. I've reminded him about it about five times now. Maybe I'm just being overly emotional about the whole ordeal, but everything has been going so great between us, up until now. And now this had to happen and ruin our good streak. I hate first fights!

"Well, Sean and I went and got something to eat and then we just hung around the mall and he taught me how to get a discount!"

"Huh?" I arched an eyebrow at the back of Nikki's seat.

She turned back around and shoved her blonde waves behind her ear. "You know- a five finger discount!"

"Sean!" I slapped the back of his head. "What are you thinking?"

"You should never have told her," Sean kissed Nikki's hand that he had been holding while driving.

"What's wrong? It's just some fun!" Nikki gave me a pretend pout and laughed when my expression didn't change. "Lighten up, Nash."

I shook my head angrily, "Stealing is wrong. And Sean is on student welfare. If he got caught, he'd be put back on probation and have his welfare taken away from him-..."

"And, like I said, lighten up!"

"What'd you steal?"

"Just a few cds and this key ring. Look at it."

I grimaced at the stupid flower key ring and tossed it back to her. "Cute," I snarked.

Sean gave me a look in the rearview mirror and I glared at his reflection. He is so stupid. I can't believe I ever went out with him. I am so lucky to have a cool guy like Ryan now. The rest of the ride home I didn't say anything. I just listened as Nikki and Sean talked on and on about their plans for this weekend and everything else. I considered asking Sean to come to my concert, but vetoed that thought. He'd probably be too busy stealing something to care about some Christmas concert. Whatever. I don't need anyone at the concert.

I threw my purse on my bed and glanced at my answering machine. One message. I clicked play and unbuttoned my pants as I listened to it.

Hey.

Ryan...

Look, I'm sorry about tonight. I know the concert is important to you, but I just can't bail on Brice. You know how it is- friends before lovers or whatever that saying is? I swore I'd never let a girl change who I am with my friends. So I'm not. I'll call you to see how it went, but that's all I can offer. If that's not good enough for you, then I'm not either.

I fumbled with the phone a little before dialing in his number.

"Hey... I got your message. Yeah, I made it home. Sean. He was on a date with Nikki. It was fine. It's okay. Like I said, I made it home. So... you're right. You shouldn't have to cancel your plans with Brice just because... yeah... I know how you feel. I feel the same way. Okay, so have fun tomorrow. And call me Sunday night. Bye."

Sean

"You are the goofiest girl I've ever met," I mused as Nikki went to stick more fries up her nose. If Ellie had seen her do that, she would have thrown a temper tantrum. But Nikki is so much more relaxed. And that relaxes me.

"So, when's that concert?" she checked the clock on the wall in the diner.

"Seven. We better get going," I reached into my back pocket for my wallet. It's starting to get really thin lately... On second thought... "Come on. Let's go."

"You didn't pay."

"I know."

Nikki put a hand over her mouth and let out a laugh. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Come on," I grabbed her hand and we stood up together.

"What do I do?" she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

I flashed her a devilish grin, "Act normal."

We quietly sneaked out of the busy diner and ran down the street towards the bus stop. We ran onto the bus, throwing our change into the cup, and collapsed into a pair of seats, laughing. A few of the older riders on the bus gave us a few dirty looks, but we didn't care.

"That was so much fun!" Nikki wrapped her hands around my arm and laughed into my shoulder. "I can't believe we just did that!"

I hadn't done that for a long time. Not since before I met Ellie. I kind of forgot the rush I get when I do something wrong. Like stealing or not paying for something- wait, same thing.

"You know, Sean, you need a car. It must get tiring having to borrow Jay's all the time."

"What are you saying, Nikki?"

"I say we steal a car next," she giggled.

I shrugged, "That'd be nice, but that's risking a lot there."

"Aw, I thought you were tough."

"I am. But not that tough."

"Okay. I'll accept that," she kissed my neck playfully. "I'm excited to see everyone sing tonight."

"Yeah, me too." Not really. I mean, Christmas concerts? They aren't really my thing. I guess I'm just not into Christmas. We never celebrated it back in Wasaga. What's the point when you don't have enough money to give anything? It's not like I believe in the whole message behind the holiday. I'm not a religious person at all. I don't believe in some higher being or any of that crap. You take care of yourself. That's what I believe in. Myself.

I fought back a yawn as Jessica Baker walked off the stage primly after delivering her clarinet solo. So far, I've heard too many clarinets, violins, and oboes for my own good. I rolled my head back and gave a sideways glance at Nikki. Is she seriously enjoying this? Her eyes were closed and she was breathing deeply. I kept myself from laughing and returned my attention to the stage.

I can't even express how happy I am that it's the last act. I blinked my eyes a few times to try and keep myself awake. It wasn't working out too well. I sighed and adjusted myself in the seat, knocking Nikki's arm with my elbow.

"Huh? What?" She was wide awake now. "Did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah," I whispered. I nodded towards the stage and she nodded and settled back into her seat.

"Who's up?"

"Ellie," I marveled as she came out on stage with Craig behind her.

"Oh yeah! I'm so excited!" Nikki squeezed my arm, but I hardly felt it.

The audience grew silent as Craig played a few warm up chords on his guitar. They looked great up there. Ellie smoothed her black leather skirt underneath her as she sat on a stool next to Craig. He looked up at her and gave her a nod. And they began.

Ellie sang the first few lines before Craig picked up on the guitar and joined in the chorus. It was honestly like nothing I'd ever heard before. I'm not one to get all sappy over a song, but their voices were just... I sound so completely idiotic right now. They're voices were great. That's all I'm going to say because if I went on and on about how good they sounded, like I want to, I'd be made fun of for the rest of my life.

Let's just say I've never had chills like that.

There. There's my emo thought for the day.

Craig

I strummed the last few chords of the song as Ellie held her last note. She was on. She was so on tonight. Her timing was perfect, her pitch was perfect, the emotion in her voice was perfect, everything had been absolutely perfect. I let out a laugh as the audience stood in a standing ovation. This moment was too awesome beyond words.

"You did great!" I exclaimed over the thunderous applause. I grabbed her into a hug and she weakly hugged me back. "You okay?"

"I think I'm going to pass out," she whispered loudly.

I laughed at her wan smile and helped steady her with a arm behind her back. We took another bow, and Angie came running up with two bouquets of roses. I can't believe Joey and Caitlin got me roses. Ellie took the other bouquet and hugged Angie quickly. She was practically beaming at the applause. She's a stage brat. I should have figured it out from the play, but now I really know for certain that she lives for this.

"Someone's not going to pass out now," I mused into her ear.

She ducked her head sheepishly and grasped her bouquet tightly as we walked off of the stage. "The rush got to me. Now I feel like I seriously might get sick... You were awesome, Craig. Truly."

"Thanks," I rubbed her back and hugged her. "So, you think you might join the Downtown Sas?"

"Well, I don't know about the Downtown Sas..." she made fun of the nickname I used for it.

It does sound kind of girly. I cleared my throat and said in my manliest voice possible, "Well, uh, I meant the Downtown Sasquatch."

"Yeah, I think I'll pass. But thanks for the offer," she squeezed my hand lightly. "I'm going to go find my parents."

"Okay. Well... it was fun."

"Yeah... Thanks for making me do it."

"You wanted to do it."

"Deep down, yeah. But, I never would have if you didn't push me."

I shrugged and cocked my head to the side. "What are friends for?"

"Friends. I like that," she gave me a small smile. "I'll talk to you later."

And she was gone. I'm going to really miss practicing with her. With her, I was always so inspired to write and create music. I think she might be my Muse. I kind of like the sound of that- Ellie Nash is my Muse. I smiled to myself as I put my guitar back in its case. Who knows- maybe in the near future the extraordinary duet of Craig Manning and Ellie Nash will be back. Maybe in the spring musical or the talent show or maybe we could enter a real competition together... It's like- we're meant to sing with each other. It's like- where would Simon be without Garfunkel? And Sonny without Cher? It just doesn't make sense that we don't create music together anymore. I tapped on my guitar case. Yeah, we'll be back. We're going to take this world my storm one day. I can already see it.

Ellie

I let out a deep breath and leaned against the wall. That was hard. That had been extremely hard for me to do. I closed my eyes and tried to gather my thoughts. Would it be like before? Would I, all of a sudden, be the center of attention- be thrown into this whirlwind of popularity and after-school activity? Would I be the lead in the next school play, would I win the talent show, or would I...?

Oh, shut up, Ellie Nash. Nobody thinks about you as much as you do.

And it's so the truth. Seriously, I always think that everyone's wondering what I'm thinking or doing or feeling... They're not. Nobody gives a shit about me. I'm so self-involved, it disgusts me. And I complain about Paige? I'm just as bad, if not worse...

"Hey!"

I let out a little scream and turned around. "You scared me!"

Sean shrugged and smiled. "I guess I got to you."

"Dream on," I muttered. I hadn't meant to say it. It just came out. Ugh. Why did I say that? Now I look like the pathetic ex-girlfriend who is desperately living in the past. I wonder if he noticed.

He didn't show any signs that he did. "Can I just tell you that what you did up there was... there aren't any words for it. You were amazing, El."

"Sure. Please, don't humor me," I socked him in the shoulder lightly and started walking towards the lobby of the auditorium.

"Will you start giving yourself credit?" Sean wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a hug. "I'm not going to argue with you. You were beautiful. That's it."

"Fine. Where's Nikki?" And how would she feel if she saw you totally feeling my arm up right now? I watched his fingers as they lightly rubbed against my shoulder. Ignore the chills. Ignore the chills. Ignore the chills. I tried to stay calm. I don't know why, but his fingers brushing against me just... set something off. I cleared my throat and moved out of his grasp. There. Fold your arms across your chest and do the whole scary, non-approachable thing.

"She left," Sean stuffed his hands in his pockets. "She said she didn't feel good and-..."

"Well."

He gave me a look, "You are seriously hard-up, Nash. Do you find enjoyment out of correcting others?... Wait, I know that answer."

"Harhar. If you must know, yes, it gets my adrenaline going to make sure people notice their mistakes. Especially you. Mr. Tough Guy."

He looked away laughing and then back at me. "Whatever. What are you doing now? Because... well, I rented a movie for tonight, and now I don't have anyone to watch it with."

"Let me guess- Final Elimination Round 3?"

"I own it. Plus, I can't ever watch that with you."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, let me just find Marco and then my parents."

"Marco's handing out some 'after show refreshments' or something equally as gay as that."

"You're charming, you know that?"

"Runs in the family."

I licked my lips and kept myself from beaming up at him. That would be a total mistake. "Okay, well, I'll be right back."

"I'll be here."

I headed over towards the refreshment stand where Marco was hurriedly pouring punch and handing out cookies to people as they left. I was accosted by a group of teachers who praised me for my talent and Mr. Radditch stated I was a fine model of success or something like that. Whatever that means. Maybe I should let him see my freaking arms- then we'll see if I'm a "fine model of success". Instinctively, I made sure my sleeves were down over my arms. There aren't too many scars. Only one new one. I've just been reopening some of the old ones mostly. The new one I made when my mom called me fat that one day. I blinked my eyes rapidly, trying to forget that conversation.

"Ellie!" Marco cried out desperately. He handed a bottle of fruit punch to some brunette and came around to my side of the counter. "You were mesmerizing," he whispered as he swept me into a hug and off my feet. Literally and figuratively.

"Thanks," I whispered back, letting my breath tickle his ear. Why am I still trying to pull moves on Marco? All my moves should now be reserved for only Ryan.

"Why didn't you tell me you were so... so good? That was good. More than good. It was..."

"Okay, Marco. I get it," I looked at our entwined fingers. "So, you want to do something tomorrow? Ryan's gone on a skiing trip with his friend for a few more days. I thought we could do something extremely childish or..."

"I'm thinking that it's snowing right now. You know what that means, right?"

I scrunched my nose up and shook my head. "What?"

"Sledding. Tons of sledding. And then my mom's famous s'mores."

"Since when does your mom make s'mores?"

"Since I said so. And hot chocolate. And, hell, maybe even some lasagna for old time's sake."

"For tradition's sake," I laughed. I hugged him again and kissed him spontaneously on the lips. "Sounds great."

"Ellie Nash, you do realize I'm blushing now?" Marco grinned and put his hand up to his lips. "Devon is right over there. You don't want him to get the wrong idea now, do you?"

I bit my lip and smiled. "I'll call you tomorrow morning."

"Insanely early, please," he drawled.

"Of course. Insanely early."

Damn! My life is like going from starting downhill to racing uphill. Who knew that one little performance could start a chain of great events? Hanging out with Sean tonight, hanging out with Marco tomorrow... Hell, I still have to go find my parents. With the way my luck is going tonight, dad will be moved back in by tomorrow morning!

I wondered around the front lobby for my mom and dad. The crowd was starting to thin out, so I could see easier. There are Emma's parents. I waved politely. There's Paige and Spinner practically making out. Manny and JT are goofing off in the corner. Some teachers, Devon, Darcy, Toby... Maybe they're still in the auditorium. Maybe they didn't see me come out. I poked my head back into the auditorium and looked around. Nope, completely dark. They definitely weren't there. Okay, they're definitely outside in the car. I got my cell phone out of my purse and dialed my mom's cell phone. I'll just talk to her over the phone and tell her I'm going to Sean's.

"Elisabeth Nash speaking," my mom greeted.

"It's me, mom." Can't she read caller I.D.?

"Oh, hi Eleanor. Where are you?"

"I'm still inside the auditorium. Are you guys in the car?" I rummaged around in my purse for a tube of chapstick.

"Car? Where are you?"

I sighed and walked outside for better reception. "In the auditorium lobby. Are you guys I the parking lot? I can come out and talk to you, if you want."

"Why would I be in the car? Darling, I can't really hear you well."

Yeah, what was that noise in the background? I heard a loud bang and my mom gasped. "Ellie, I'm going to have to call you back. The waiter just spilled everything."

The call ended. Waiter? What is she talking about? I huffed and dialed my dad's phone. Maybe he could explain everything to me.

"Christian Nash speaking."

I couldn't help but smile at how businesslike my dad sounded. He and mom are really made for each other. They even answer their phones the same! "Hi daddy!" I chirped, feeling like a little girl.

"Hey sweetie! What's up?"

I pulled my coat closer around me and leaned against the wall of the building. "Mom had to end the call. Are you guys at a restaurant?"

"No. I'm not with your mom."

My heart dropped, "You're not? Where are you?"

"At the office. I figured I'd work on a few things. You know I'm not one for free nights."

Free nights? What fucking free night? "Free night? Dad, you and mom were at my concert tonight, weren't you?"

Silence.

"Concert?" my dad sounded sick.

I had to keep myself from bursting into tears. He sounded sick. "Yeah, my concert. The Christmas concert. The one I sang at?"

"Oh shi- darn. Honey, I forgot all about it. Can you forgive me?"

No. Yes. I don't know. "Yes," I mumbled.

"I'm really sorry. I'm sure your mom is, too. How did it go?"

"Great," I lied. Great, except for the part where you and mom didn't show up.

"I can't believe I forgot. I could have sworn it was next Sunday..."

Just like Ryan. How many times do I have to remind everyone? I slammed my wrist against the building. "Whatever. It's fine, dad. It's not like it was important or anything. It was really dumb, actually."

"Okay, that's good. Okay, well, I really have to get working on this stuff again. How about we have dinner tomorrow? Me and you?"

"And mom?"

He paused. "Okay, and your mom."

Why did he pause? I slammed my wrist against the wall again. "Ow!"

"Ellie, what happened?"

"Nothing. I just knocked into something. Okay, tomorrow. Bye daddy."

"Bye pumpkin."

Honey, Sweetie, Pumpkin, Red, Bunny, Kitten... he has all these nicknames for me. How come I feel like they mean nothing?

Sean

"Did you talk to them?" I caught up with Ellie outside. She was sitting down on the auditorium steps.

"What? Oh God, I'm sorry. I forgot you were waiting. Yeah, I caught up with them. They said I was great."

She smiled big and that made me smile, too. "Good. For a second, I thought maybe they didn't show and you were upset."

"Of course they showed up! They're my parents."

"I know. It's just that you said that sometimes they didn't show up to this stuff. You know, they forgot about it or something."

"Sean, my parents wouldn't have missed this for the world. Let's not talk about it anymore, though. You ready?"

I blinked through the heavy snowfall. "Yeah, you want to catch the bus?"

"And miss walking in the snow? Are you crazy?"

"Maybe," I admitted. I laughed huskily and shoved a hat onto my head.

On second thought... I took the hat off. Ellie likes me better without the hat.

"Is Nikki plucking your eyebrows?"

I gave her a weird look. "No! You're the only one who has ever plucked them. Except me. I did get them a few days ago."

"You plucked them? Yourself? I'm so proud!" she put a hand to her heart and gave me a shocked look.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I muttered. "You taught me a few tricks of the trade."

"Just a few," she agreed.

We shared a smile and went back to walking. Our feet made soft crunching noises in the snow. It was really falling fast. I noticed Ellie didn't have any gloves on. "Don't you have gloves?"

"Forgot them. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" I took her hand into mine and held it as we walked. I wanted to let go. It felt weird. It shouldn't feel weird. This is Ellie. She's like my best friend. For some reason, though, it felt like I was cheating on Nikki by touching Ellie. And that's not how it is.

Ellie gave me an uneasy smile and took her hand from mine. "Seriously, I'm fine." She put her hands in the pockets of her coat and tilted her head up. "I love snow."

"Yeah, it's great." Damn, that sounded dumb.

"So great," Ellie teased. "We'll have to go Christmas shopping soon, Sean."

"Sure," I replied uncertain. Since when am I going Christmas shopping?

"You don't sound excited. It's almost the holidays!"

"Yeah, well, I don't get into Christmas."

My statement made her stop in her tracks. "You're not into Christmas? Are you crazy?"

"No. Just... honest."

"Or crazy. Christmas is great, Sean. Trees, lights, snow, family and friends, presents, shopping, giving..."

"Spending money you don't have, driving yourself to depression or, even worse, suicide, having to listen to gagworthy songs..."

"Excuse me? If you don't recall, your friends just sang a 'gagworthy song' tonight."

"Sorry. You know what I mean."

"No, I don't. Because Christmas is a great time of the year. Don't you like anything about it?"

Her voice was soft and concerned. What's the big freaking problem if I don't like Christmas? Is it a rule? A law? Is there a little piece of official government paper that says everyone must tis' the season or whatever that crap saying is? I don't think so. Maybe I'm just being bitter because I've never had a reason to get excited over the holidays, but is that my fault? I know my parents didn't mean to take that piece of my childhood away, but it was hard having to listen to everyone else talk about Santa Claus and all the presents they got while I sit back and have nothing. Tracker always got pissy about it and whined and cried about not getting presents, but I always kept my cool. I was the cool-headed one when we were younger. How things change...

"I wouldn't know if there's anything I like about Christmas because I've never celebrated it," I admitted. There. Deal with it.

Ellie scrunched her eyebrows delicately, "Wow. I didn't know."

"Yeah, well, my family isn't exactly religious."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well..."

"Ellie, I really don't feel like I've missed out on anything. So, don't worry about it." I laughed shortly to show her I really didn't care.

"Sean," she groaned in frustration, wrapping her hands around my arm. "What am I doing to do with you? Monday, you and I are going to go decoration shopping, we're going to spruce up your place, you're going to get a tree, and then we're going to go buy gifts for our friends. Okay?"

"No."

"Sean!"

"Ellie! Seriously, do you always have to go and change people? What if I'm fine with being this way? What if I don't want to get a tree and buy gifts?"

I was starting to get annoyed with her know-it-all attitude. As if getting a tree and putting it in my apartment will magically make me love Christmas. Sometimes I can think she is the deepest and most intelligent person I know, and, other times, I see nothing but shallowness.

"Please, Sean? I want you to experience this. Seriously."

"No."

She blocked my path, "Sean. You are going to celebrate Christmas with. I won't have it any other way."

"Ellie..."

She rested her cheek against my shoulder and looked up at me with her big eyes. "Sean, you know how stubborn I am. I won't take no for an answer. Give it a try? For me?"

"Ugh," I leaned my head back and let out a low growl. "Fine. But just because I don't want to see you begging me on your hands and knees."

"As if I would..."

"So, first thing Monday morning, we are starting Operation: Sean's First Christmas. Got it?"

"Whatever."

"Good."

I frowned slightly as we continued to walk towards my place. My first Christmas. I don't even know what to expect. I wonder if Tracker is finally celebrating Christmas with Wendy... Probably. It wouldn't surprise me. I glanced over at Ellie sideways. She had a self-satisfied grin on her face that wouldn't go away. She's so sure I'm going to love this whole holidays thing. I'll show sure. Sean Cameron doesn't change for anybody.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It's a little longer than the rest. Next chapter- Ellie/Marco and snow fun, Sean/Ellie Christmas shopping, and... a phonecall from Ryan and... maybe an appearance from Dan? Thanks for the reviews!