Hey everyone, here's the new chapter. I'm currently smack in the middle of final exams so this is quite short.

Disclaimer: I don't own KnB

Chapter Thirty-seven

Gratitude

It wasn't raining that day. The sky wasn't grey, the air was pleasantly warm, and Asuka didn't cry. As her father wept uncontrollably, she stood beside him supportively. Asuka clutched her father's arm, as much to support him as to anchor herself. She had to be strong. She could be strong. She was-

Crying. The tears wouldn't stop, rolling in streams of raw emotion. Alone, away, hidden, she was crying for her mother. There was no way of denying the pain taking hold of her heart and cracking it under its claws. She didn't cry silently.

"Asuka, I'm sorry."

Asuka raised her head.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Seeing Otōsan so broken as she'd never seen him before. Asuka felt her tears stop and her throat catch.

"Otōsan, we'll be alright. We'll be alright."

They would be alright. Otōsan would be alright. And her? Well, Asuka told herself, it didn't really matter. She needed to stay strong for Otōsan. She couldn't be a liability while her father was mourning, she could let her condition, her worries or her own sadness burden him anymore. She couldn't bare it, couldn't lose her father too.

"Otōsan, we should go out today!" Asuka announced cheerily.

Hyōsuke raised a brow at the sudden declaration. "I'd love to but what's the occasion?"

Asuka collected the breakfast dishes and took them to the sink with a skip in her step. She seemed the epitome of morning energy, which was as shocking to Hyōsuke as her enthusiasm in cleaning the dishes.

"Well, it's really nice weather and I've been thinking we haven't spent much time together since you got out of the hospital. Also, your book will be released soon too. Let's celebrate your discharge and your upcoming book!" Asuka grinned.

Hyōsuke chuckled at his bright-eyed daughter. It felt very much like the old days.

"Lead the way! What's the plan of attack for tackling today?" Hyōsuke questioned with mock seriousness.

"Well…" Asuka finished the dishes and spun around with youthful vigour.

"I've been wanting to show you my new art for a while, it's actually all in exhibit now in an art gallery except my final piece and then we can have lunch at your favourite yakitori place, and after let's go shopping and then-" Asuka paused briefly, taking the chance to breathe. "We can visit Okāsan and bring her some flowers."

Hyōsuke smiled softly. "I think she'd like that. Come on then, daylight is a wasting, let's make haste!"

"The old bastard Izumi Hyōsuke rears his head! I was starting to think your sense of good food left with Setsuna!"

Hyōsuke laughed and clasped hands with the owner of the store.

"Good to see you too Saiba." Hyōsuke returned.

"Oh, little Asuka-chan returned from America! You've grown so much!" Saiba grinned.

Saiba was a gruff man who towered over Asuka back in Teikō and continued to do so now. Come to think of it, back in Teikō, he'd promised Murasakibara a free meal if he grew taller than him. Asuka wondered if Murasakibara had succeeded.

"Is it the usual then?"

"I haven't been here for years, I don't know if you can call it 'the usual." Hyōsuke teased.

"Once a regular, always a regular." Saiba waved off.

Asuka smiled at the banter, remembering how Saiba used to sneak her free dessert when she was a little girl, only to scratch his head sheepishly when her mother caught him.

"This is really nostalgic. I'm glad to see Saiba san is the same." Asuka said fondly.

"I'm glad the food is still as good too." Hyōsuke joked. "It really has been a long time."

There was a brief ache in Asuka's chest.

"We haven't come since Okāsan passed," Asuka stated.

It was a bittersweet feeling, but as Asuka ate her food, she felt light and happy. Setsuna might not be here, but Hyōsuke was. Something so simple as eating with her father, Asuka had missed the feeling.

"So how long will your art be up in the gallery?" Hyōsuke inquired.

"Only a month. I still have to take it back and complete my project. The collection isn't really complete but the gallery insisted after seeing one of my pieces in a competition a few months ago." Asuka explained.

"Ah, my daughter is so talented! AYAI, and now scouted for a national youth basketball team! I'm truly blessed."

Asuka blinked. "I hadn't told you about the team yet! Did Ryōta ruin the surprise?"

Hyōsuke's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Don't blame the poor boy. I have my ways."

"The psychic strikes again. Or maybe it was Aomine?" Asuka narrowed her eyes.

When Hyōsuke continued to eat his yakitori with an unreadable expression, Asuka scoffed.

"When did you two become close? Seriously, that guy is leaching off your cooking coming over for dinner so much." Asuka complained.

"I'm grateful to the boy. He supports you and looks out for you. Silver haired blue eyed grandchildren would be so cute." Hyōsuke sighed.

The reaction was immediate. Asuka's face blew up in a bright tomato red that stood out all the more against her pale feature. Asuka spluttered her protest while her father simply nodded along, only to make the situation worse.

"My little girl is growing up. You can't deny a father envisioning the future!"

"Aomine's been my friend for a long time, we're not like that. Besides, our ideal types are completely different. I want someone smart, polite and older than me. He wants someone with a big chest." Asuka mumbled into her drink with a blush. "I'm far too troublesome to date anyway."

"Sometimes we really don't know what we want. Well, there's no need to go chasing these things. You'll be busy with art and basketball I suppose."

"I don't really know if I can accept the position. I might not be fit to." Asuka sighed then quickly added, "I mean being so busy with my final year at AYAI, stuff like that."

Hyōsuke nodded solemnly and pretended to stroke his non-existent beard. "One must choose their battles for one can not fight it all."

"Ever the poet Otōsan. Speaking of that though, I'll be out of the house a bit these next weeks. With training and all, I'll have to stay out and maybe just crash at Momoi's since it's closer to the training centre. There's also camps and all that. So if I don't come home sometimes, don't worry!" Asuka informed smoothly, allowing her voice to remain neutral and calm.

Asuka curled her hand into a fist under the table, her eyes cast down at her food. It was a reasonable excuse and she was sure her father wouldn't be too suspicious. The treatment she'd be receiving would be over two weeks before the big surgery. It was ironic then that being scouted for a basketball team could act as an excuse to visiting the hospital where she'd be bedridden and unconscious.

Hyōsuke nodded his consent. "Make sure you eat well and don't overwork yourself. I know it's a busy time so it's alright."

Asuka's nodded sincerely but offered no reply. Instead, she began eating with renewed vigour. In the end, Hyōsuke ate a respectable portion while Asuka's miraculous endless appetite lived up to its reputation. She'd devoured several servings which Saiba took as the highest of compliments.

After lunch came shopping which yielded a new pair of basketball shoes for Asuka as Hyōsuke gift. They also purchased some flowers before making their way to the graveyard. As always, it was a bittersweet affair. Asuka held onto her father's arm as they flowers which were now past bloom as the summer eased into the start of autumn. It was beautiful still. They'd chosen this place because it always was all year. Asuka settled the flowers as well as a takeaway of yakitori at her mother's grave, bowing and placing her hands in prayer.

Okāsan, I want to see you again and I miss you so much. I hope you are well in heaven, but I also hope our reunion waits a little longer. I'm taking care of Otōsan and doing well. Please watch over men during my surgery.

Asuka opened her eyes and reached out to grasp her father's hand. She felt like a child again, small but safe beside her father. Her other side felt could though, missing her mother's presence. Asuka heard a soft sniffle and looked up to see a few tears escape her father's eyes.

"Otōsan, will you be alright if I left?" Asuka asked tentatively.

"Are planning to go somewhere" Hyōsuke inquired.

"I just meant, if I moved out, or going back to AYAI in America, or just… away. You know I don't want to leave you right? I really do love you and I wouldn't want you to be sad." Asuka elaborated.

Hyōsuke considered his daughter for a moment. "Of course I'd be sad. You're my daughter and if you left I'd be very sad indeed. Still," Hysōsuke smiled, "I think that sometimes leaving is the choice we make. I know that if I left, even if I don't want you to be sad you would be. It's alright to be sad sometimes, as long as you know it's alright to feel happy again afterwards. Know that should fate ever part us, I love you always Asuka."

Hyōsuke brought Asuka into a hug, his arms holding her protectively. Asuka felt her eyes sting with a strange sensation she hadn't felt in a long time. They were here together, and Asuka wished more than ever for her surgery to work. For once she truly wished for her own health, her own success, her own life and considered the possibility of her own happiness.

Asuka crossed another day off her calendar. The next box was circled with the writing Reckoning. Two days over from that also carried a note: Otosan book release. Pushing the calendar back Asuka rested her head against her desk. Her gaze fell on the corner of her room where a shadow lay. She watched for a moment, regarding the dark cloth thoughtfully. Then, with a strange lightness, Asuka walked over. In its neglect, the cloth covering had collected dust. Each speck weighed the cloth down hopelessness and despair, collating as a heavy burden in Asuka's hands. She took a deep breath and tore the cloth away, filling the room with dust that she fanned out the window. For the first time since placing it there when she lost hope, the painting was revealed to the light. Asuka traced her hand over the paint strokes with an almost nostalgic touch. It seemed like a distant relic, not a recently abandoned painting. Picking up the canvas, Asuka tilted it towards the sun, watching the warm light bounce off the layers of oil paint. A vague flutter rose in Asuka's stomach. It felt almost a dream, as though she'd stepped into the canvas and joined the stars in their eternal shimmer. It was with a visible effort that Asuka allowed her smile to fall and for her mind breath. Why did she feel so confused? Being told she could live, that with surgery she could finally be free, why did she feel so uneasy? Asuka looked back down at the painting. She was scared. So long had her dream been to have the option to dream that she was frightened of her wish being granted. What if it were taken away suddenly, snatched from her grasp like teasing a child with treats? And if it was all a hopeless lie, could she even accept death again?

"What if there is no future?" Asuka asked the painting.

It looked back, silent. Asuka traced a finger along the painted sky, her touch a caress to the soft strokes weaved with whispers of acceptance, sorrow and farewell. Asuka breathed. The air tasted clear and refreshing. She took the painting in her hands and set it up on a canvas. Taking her best oil paints and brushes, Asuka prepared her workspace. As fresh paint kissed the dried layer beneath, the whispers began to fade. This wasn't a farewell anymore. The sky held hope with stars that could be reached. Maybe once she was better, she could walk with her father in the park and talk about her plans for the future. Then maybe she'd even have the courage, to tell the truth.

No Aomine this chapter, I'm sorry! This however, was a very necessary chapter for the move into the final act. With holidays soon, I'm hoping write more frequently again and maybe even wrap this whole thing up early next year! I won't make false promises though. I finally got a job which is a relief but also huge time consumer. Please please please review! It honestly helps with the motivation and it's really been awhile since the last time I got feedback (it's been a while since I updated too but I digress). I know the chapters have been dipping a bit, but reviewing can help me stay on track! Having been writing this for so long and lately jumping back after long periods of time, it's easy to get lost in where I'm going. During my break, I plan on re-reading what I've written and rewatching some episode to try get the feel for this fic back. Even just dropping a quick "Hey hurry up and update" review will let me know you're waiting and make me hurry up. Again, one last plea for reviews!