Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter. I do own the plot and some OC's along the way.
Warnings: Language, OC'ness, Het, Slash, twists and turns, fluff, smut, and abuse to the author, Loss of Kei's cuteness.
Beta: FEARMEfrancis
A/N: this chapter is dedicated to DustBunnyQueen for the hilarious review. You can never go wrong with a Princess Bride reference.
Seconds Demand
The one thing Kei really hated about Hogwarts were the ghosts. He couldn't smell them, and they didn't make much noise besides a small wind like sound; but it was almost nonexistent. It made sneaking around the castle all the more frustrating when you couldn't predict what was behind the next corner. Kei was glad he was quicker than normal because of the numerous times he had to dash back behind a corner to avoid one of those apparitions. Currently Kei was hidden behind a suit of armour waiting for two ghosts who were having a very in depth conversation about whether or not Peeves was behind the recent string of pranks affecting the Ravenclaws. There were two suspects for the crimes. The Friar was firmly in the belief that it was a pair of Gryffindors, and the Sir Nick was protesting, denying this his little lions would do such a thing. Kei didn't care either way but he wanted them to go away so he could sneak into the library.
"I saw them put something in that one Slytherin's bag and next thing I knew there were sparks flying everywhere!" the Friar declared heatedly.
"He could have been slipping a note in the bag and the sparks were a coincidence. My lions would never do anything that dangerous. Peeves is still upset from being denied from the Opening Feast, and this is his way of showing it." The nearly headless ghost stated with a scoff.
"I'm just saying that those twins have always been a trouble making duo since they arrived, and you overlook it because you are so fond of your own house." The Friar threw up his arms in protest.
"They're sweet boys-"
"No, they're mischievous little miscreants! I'm done with this." The Friar finally seemed to be doing something Kei approved of as he moved away. The other ghost seemed to be stubborn, and started following the Friar, continuing the argument as they floated down the hallway and out of sight. Finally allowed to move, Kei snuck across the wide hallway and into the library.
When the heavy oak doors closed behind him, and Kei was enveloped in darkness he let out a sigh of relief. He could see everything perfectly but it was nice to just be alone. He was constantly surrounded by his peers and it was starting to get to him when he was used to only Makoto, Sai, and Kakashi.
"Kei." A soft whisper sounded from the shelves.
"Koto." Kei responded. Kei flittered through the rows of books, and met Makoto in the warding section. "How's it going?" Kei asked in Japanese.
"Good, but some of these wards are brutal, even for a shinobi." Makoto showed Kei a page with a picture of a man being torn apart and strung up on a blue dome with hundreds of tiny flaming spikes sticking out of him.
"Well...I wouldn't turn that ward down in case of another invasion." Kei threw out.
"Yes, any edge is a good edge, no matter the gore." Makoto flipped through a few more pages, making notes on some paper he had at hand.
Kei nodded, and picked up a different book. He settled down on the floor and got comfortable, ready for a nice long night studying. "You know even if we learn all the wards there's no guarantee that I can cast them." Kei pointed out.
"True, you did hardly manage to make your feather float today." Makoto teased.
"It floated just fine! I thought I did a fine job for my first spell." Kei argued.
"Yes it floated just fine after you burned off majority of the plumage and threw it into the air." Makoto couldn't the smile off his face at the announcement. Flitwick had been most flustered after class when he entered the staff room and babbled about the incident. "Kei...are you sure you can do this? You blew up a cauldron in potions, burned a feather to a crisp, and destroyed three of Sprouts plants. Your record isn't in your favour right now."
"I know... but I am trying." Kei sighed.
"Kei, is this mission worth it?" Makoto asked seriously, closing his book and regarding his partner fully.
Kei needed a moment to fully think of the question. He knew where Makoto was coming from, and it was a serious issue. "It's only the first week. If I can't improve with this whole magic thing by the time we go for the Tea mission, than we can talk to the Hokage about pulling out." Kei promised.
"I think that would be the best course. I know you want to leave something behind to protect Konoha, but we can't waste an entire year here on a small chance that you might get enough control to erect a ward."
"I know Makoto. Everything we do is for Konoha, and if I can't manage to get a handle on this, than we are better off at home." Kei said sadly. He didn't want to fail a mission, but he knew that he would have to suck up his pride if it came to backing out.
"There's still two months. That's plenty of time to learn." Makoto reassured as he returned to his book. "We have accomplished greater things in two months than learning to make feathers float. Like stopping invasions and intercepting stolen Konoha secrets."
Kei just smiled at his partner and reached for a new book- as he pulled the slightly dusty book from the shelf a bolt of pain raced down his left arm, causing his him to drop the tome. Kei hissed out a bit of breath as he used his right hand to massage the affected area. Kei sent a glare at the offending limb for good measure.
"Kei are you okay?" Makoto asked worriedly.
"Fine, fine. It's just sometimes I get this shot of pain, but it leaves quickly." Kei explained. He gave his arm a small shake, and was happy that it seemed to be in perfectly good working order once more.
"When did this start?"
Kei took a moment to think. "Just after the focus tattoo. I think the magic is reacting differently to the black jutsu's affects."
"Is it speeding up the effects?"
"I don't know. I will have Rikoto check it out when we get home." Kei reassured his partner.
"Kei..."
"It's fine Makoto. Let us just keep researching. If this is speeding things along then we need to find appropriate wards faster."
Makoto nodded solemnly and started reading faster, an edge of desperation was added to his posture.
o.O.o
Sakura straightened her shirt, checked her hair, and wiped her feet before she stepped into the Hokage's office. She wanted something, and she was going to fight for it. She had never asked the Hokage for much in the past, unless you count the begging for Sasuke's life and whatnot, but she didn't in this moment. She had never asked the Hokage for something reasonable. So this was her opportunity to talk to the Hokage with a clear mind, and no hysterics. She would present her case, answer or respond to any questions and concerns the woman might have, and hopefully walk out successful. She had spent the entire night before going over her speech, picking out the appropriate outfit, and just generally firing herself up for this. It was important to her and hopefully the Hokage would understand.
"Hokage-sama." Sakura started.
"No." Tsunade spoke up quickly and decisively.
"What? But I didn't say anything yet." The pink girl instantly protested. This wasn't going according to plan!
"When a shinobi walks in that door and starts with 'Hokage-sama' first it means they want something. It's a reflex to just say no." Tsunade explained not even looking up from her paperwork.
"Aren't you going to at least listen to me first?" Sakura asked.
"Are you going to ask for something?" The Hokage asked.
"Yes."
"Then no." Tsunade shut it down immediately.
Sakura felt her face flush with anger. "I just want to go on a mission." She stated boldly.
Tsunade finally spared her a glance. "If you want a mission then go to the mission office and get a D-rank mission like everyone else."
"I don't want a D-rank mission. I am going to start apprenticing at the academy full time soon, and I want to be able to properly prepare the students for shinobi life, and in order to do that I would like to experience an A-rank mission. I know it's not procedure to send such a low ranked kunoichi on the high ranked missions but I want to be able to know I did something important with my ninja career, and have that pride so I can pass it on to the students." Sakura took a deep breath as she finished speaking, glad to get that out.
Tsunade eyed her carefully. "You want to go on a mission that has a high rate of death just so you can feel good about yourself when you teach?"
Sakura flushed some more at that. They way the Hokage described her desire seemed childish, but to her it wasn't. She needed this experience so she could understand what she was prepping these children for. Making them think that missions were all fun and games would get them killed. The academy children needed to know the full weight of their decision to become a shinobi, and the only way Sakura saw herself properly preparing them for that was to experience it herself. "I just don't want to send them to their death because they thought missions were supposed to be fun. " Sakura said softly, slightly remorseful that her new job entitled her to train little soldiers. She wondered if she would have become a kunoichi if a teacher told her the real dangers and horrors of the world outside the academy walls.
"You do not need to feel like that. You are not sending them to their death that is my job. You train them the best you can, and I put them on a path to death. You can plant a flower, but you cannot control who picks it. Now I will grant your request, but on a few conditions." Tsunade spoke seriously, her voice steady; not showing any inner turmoil to admitting that she sent her people to their death daily.
"Of course Hokage-sama." Sakura was feeling range of emotions of having her request granted. She was happy she was being allowed this experience, terrified that she would be going on such a high ranking mission, nervous about who she would work with, and determined to perform to the best of her abilities and make it back alive so she can have a hand in Konoha's future protection.
"First, you will not go on this mission for a while yet. The team I am willing to trust with you is currently away on a long-term mission. When they take a break from their mission, I will send you out with them, but it won't be for awhile." Tsunade explained.
Sakura nodded her head, agreeing to the condition, even if she knew she didn't have a choice. It didn't matter if she did since the decision was clearly in her favour.
"Second, you will listen to them. You will not argue or try to take control. This team has been together for years, and they are a perfect working team. They have experience in these types of missions, and you will survive longer by being quiet and doing what they say."
"Yes Hokage-sama." Sakura said gravely.
"And third... Naruto will go along as well." Tsunade finished.
"What? Naruto? Are you sure Hokage-sama. I mean yes he has been more serious as of late, but I don't think Naruto is mentally prepared for something this ... important." Sakura argued.
Tsunade shot her a shrewd look, her eyes narrow and piercing. "I personally believe that Naruto is more suited for an A-rank mission as this time than you are. If you don't think you can deal with Naruto, than I will forget your request and still send him."
Sakura's mouth shut with a click. She shouldn't fight with the Hokage, but she felt something deep within her rear up and protest that Naruto was better than she was. Sure she went a tad bit crazy after Sasuke, but she had improved. She didn't know what Naruto was doing besides training and eating ramen. How was the Hokage supposed to properly compare them when Sakura knew she matured far more quickly than Naruto. But, she wouldn't fight. She stomped the beast down, tried to control her emotions, and just accepted all Lady Tsunade's conditions. "Yes, Hokage-sama. Thank you for this opportunity." She said instead.
Tsunade studied her carefully before she nodded her head. "Good. Now get out, I have work to do." Sakura bowed her head in respect and turned towards the door. "Oh and the mission probably won't be til December, hope you don't mind the wait!" The Hokage threw in.
Sakura sighed, but kept going. It's not like she would be able to convince the Hokage to move the date up, they were waiting for a certain team to come back from a long mission. She may not be leaving the office in a good mood, but at least she accomplished something.
o.O.o
Kei was casually walking down the hallway, trying to find an opening to escape Louis' constant chatter, so he would give his nose a break. He didn't mind his two roommates, in fact they were quite entertaining to watch, but all the new scents that attacked his nose in crowded places gave him a headache.
"Oh that poor girl." Chris spoke up. Kei's eyes followed his until he saw a blonde first year girl, slowly picking up the contents of her spilled bag.
"Should we help her?" Louis asked, his head tilted to the side as he studied the girl. "Isn't she in one of our classes?"
"Lovegood right? She's that weird girl in Potions with us." Chris informed them.
Kei just looked at them both with a bemused expression.
"Well Kei wouldn't remember he never spent much time in potions. But yeah, she is. She likes to sit at the back and hum all the time." Louis added.
As they talked another girl came along. She was taller than Lovegood, and Kei both, with long fiery red hair and millions of freckles. The girl quickly got down on her hands and knees and started helping the blonde Ravenclaw gather her things, at a much quicker pace than the owner. "Honestly Luna..." She scolded as she shoved items into the blonde girls bag.
"Isn't that Ginny Weasley? She's in our Herbology and Defense classes." Louis whispered.
"It is. "
"She doesn't look happy helping her friend." Kei spoke. Louis snorted at that.
The sound seemed to have drawn Weasley's attention on to them. Her brown eyes narrowed in anger as she stood quickly and stalked over to them. She made sure to breach their personal space and as she leaned in close and snarled. "You think it's funny picking on others do ya? Finding someone smaller than you and watching them suffer!" The red headed girl pulled her wand from her pocket and shoved it into Louis' face.
"No no, not at all." Louis protested. He held his hands up in the signature 'I give' pose. "I was laughing at a joke Kei told, and really...Kei is the smallest in the year. If I were going to pick on someone for their size he would be number one." Louis hastily rushed out.
Weasley turned her vicious glare onto the Kei who was standing innocently by. When the heated stare landed on him, Kei gave a small smile and wave. That seemed to only anger the girl more. "All you boys stick together anyways. I bet you were the ones who spilled Luna's bag."
"Her bag was spilled before we arrived. We were discussing helping her when you showed up and then proceeded to threaten us with your wand. You didn't properly observe the situation, and jumped to conclusions with your temper. I think it would be best if you put away your wand and allowed us to move on." Christopher said in a stern tone.
Weasley scoffed, and started inching closer to Christopher in a threatening way. Not liking where this was going, Kei stepped between them and lightly plucked Weasley's wand from her hand. The shocked expression that followed, gave Kei an opening. He slipped the wand into her pocket, and stepped away, giving himself room to grab the other two boys arms and drag them away. He didn't think it was worth getting into a fight with a girl who had such a short temper, because it could only lead to detention for all of them.
The red headed girl was left spluttering while the Hufflepuffs walked away. The small group of students that formed around them, parted for Kei as they watched in silence. From the corner of his eye Kei spotted a pair of red headed twins watching him with blank looks. The small shinobi wasn't sure what that meant, but he would venture to stay away from them if they were related to the girl they just left. He knew how protective his own older brother was, so Kei wasn't willing to test the protective instinct of other people's older brothers.
As they left the hostile situation, Louis seemed to some back to himself, "That was awesome Kei! You just took her wand right out of her hand and she couldn't do anything about it. It was like you are some tiny little ninja that can sneak into anywhere and steal anything!" the youngest Pucey happily bounced around as he talked quickly in his excitement.
"Louis stop that!" Chris lightly snapped. "You're talking too fast again, and how do you know what a ninja is? I thought purebloods turned their nose at anything muggle."
"Well we do, but Adrian snuck me out to Muggle London once and we went to a bookstore that had an entire section with ninja's and samurai's. It was totally awesome! Adrian bought me several books but I kept them well hidden." Louis bragged.
Chris rubbed him temples in a soothing manner. "Louis...Ninja's aren't real." The blonde boy stated.
Kei raised a single eyebrow, but kept his mouth shut.
"Of course they aren't! But it was be so awesome if Kei was one. Kei, do you think you could teach us to be ninja's?" Louis gave Kei a big pouting look.
"Um..." Kei needed something to distract the other boy. "Ninja's know how to be quiet."
Christopher gave a small chuckle at that and gave Louis a challenging look. "Can you go five minutes without making a noise?" The monkey boy nodded his head fiercely, and promptly shut his mouth with a look of pure determination. "Ahh, silence..." Christopher said with a satisfied sigh.
Kei smiled as well. Without the constant loud babbling from the other boy his headache was receding quickly. Maybe teaching Louis to be a ninja wouldn't be a bad idea. After all, his quality of living in the dorm room might go up.
The trio continued to walk when Kei felt the familiar spike of chakra from a nearby classroom. Looking at his two companions, he was glad to note neither were paying attention to him. Louis was staring at the ground as if it would help his mouth stay shut, and Christopher had taken a book from his bag and was walking and reading at the same time. Taking his chance, Kei casually slowed his steps, and left the duo, managing to slip into the classroom without them noticing. Closing the door softly, Kei turned and gave his partner an inquiring look.
Makoto had one hip leaning against a desk, and a stack of papers in his hand. He had a satisfied smirk on his face as he spoke,"I think I may have found a way to help with your casting issue."
"Oh?" Kei shuffled forward and jumped onto a desk to get comfortable.
"I talked to Flitwick about your problem, and he thought that maybe it was a problem with understand magic in general. He suggested reading up on magical theory and meditating to help you connect to your magical core more. After class I took a look at some books about magical theory and I copied the parts I think would be most useful to you." Said Makoto as he handed the stack of paper over.
Kei read the first page carefully and happy to see that Makoto had organized the entire stack and created a table of contents for him, and saw that Makoto had gone a step further and numbered each page and added a corresponding colour. Based off the weight of the stack, the size of Makoto's writing, and foreign words, Kei was positive he could make his way through it in two nights. "Thank you Makoto." Kei sincerely whispered.
Makoto shrugged his shoulders. "I don't want to fail a mission either, and I think it would be one of the best moments in my life when we set up these protections."
Kei slipped the paper into his bag, and jumped off the desk. Winking at his partner Kei casually walked up the wall and to the window. "Well I have class soon, better get there before I'm late." Kei walked out the window and to the left, making sure no one looked up and spotted him.
Makoto stuck his head out the window and chuckled. "Kei your class is the other way. Do I need to put herbs on the outside of the building as well?" he teased.
Kei didn't bother responding as he turned around and ran across the castle's wall. He hated this not being allowed to be late thing. It seriously messed with The Hatake Rules.
When Makoto left the classroom, and was whistling. He walked past a tapestry and smirked, pretending to be minding his own business. When he was out of the line of sight, he slipped behind an open door and watched as two red heads poked out from the tapestry. Looking around the two ginger twins snuck to the classroom he just left and looked inside.
"Blimey Fred where did that little kid go?" one of the twins asked his brother.
"I don't know! We saw him enter George but he's gone. It's not like he can walk through walls or anything right?" The other twin asked.
Makoto smiled and walked away. He would be sure to tell Kei he had two stalkers later, but for now there was a class of seventh years waiting for him to come and torture them.
So I really wanted to watch Mulan and this came to me. Yes I know Mulan is Chinese, and Naruto is Japanese, but I don't care. I wanted to write this. Mulan is that shit!
OMAKE
Louis Pucey was determined to become a ninja. It was like destiny when Kei Hatake arrived fresh from Japan and was in his dorm. Safe with the knowledge that Kei could teach him his ninja ways, Louis sat crossed legged in front of the white haired Hufflepuff with a very serious expression. "I am yours to teach sensei." He said with his most serious voice.
Kei tilted his head before taking a large breath. "You need to become a man."
"A man? Like go through that special man ceremony with a woman like my brother told me?" Louis asked. He could see that. Ninja's needed to be strong and confident, and according to Adrian once you have sex with a woman you gain more confidence. Of course, Louis had been forbidden from such actions until Adrian had graduated from Hogwarts.
"No. Just lots of training." Kei said simply.
"What kind of training?" Louis didn't think you needed to train to have sex. At least Adrian said he would just know what to do when the time came. So maybe Kei was thinking about a different path to becoming a man.
"First thing you need to know is how to be as swift as a coursing river. Be a man with all the force of a great typhoon. Be a man with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon." Kei instructed.
Louis nodded his head along even though he didn't get it. "So I need tackle people quickly with a roar, then run so they don't know it's me?" That is what he got from the explanation.
Kei threw a rock at him and shook his head. "Ninja get into places quickly and silently. They can fight several men twice their size, and never be seen. Don't worry before we're through, somehow I'll make a man out of you." Kei reassured the taller boy. Louis started bouncing glad that Kei was such a great friend to help Louis realize his dream.
I got a twitter! Well my beta made me make it, but it's still there and you can go check it out for little notices about chapters, ask me questions, see what I babble about during everyday life. It's BaroMonkeys.
The votes are in and...
Battle One: Third- 60, Dumbles- 14, Tie- 8
Battle Two: Hinata- 52, Neville- 18, Tie- 12
BATTLE ROYALE!
Battle 1: Who has the bigger smile? Gai vs Lockhart
Battle 2: Which is the scarier forest? Forest of Death vs Forbidden Forest
