Hey Readers! Okay, well, uh, wow, that was a pretty quick update, yeah?*Fist Pump*
I amazed myself, considering how long this chapter turned out to be. Jeez I haven't written anything this long (chapter I mean) in such a long time. It's kind of unnerving. I don't want to be mean by saying not to expect this often, but it really took a lot out of me. This chapter; it's well - a lot of things are going on in this chapter. And I mean a lot! Before I go ranting about how much stuff there will be in this reading, I have to give a special thanks to one of my friends. She gave me the idea of the whole baseball theme. So I have to say without her little suggestion this chapter might've been updated in another month, lol.
Another thanks to all my reviewers! Seriously, I know I don't say it a lot, but I really do love you guys. It's because of you that this story has made it this far. Thank you!
Okay, so in this chapter, you'll learn a bunch of things. Some of it might shock you! You have been warned. Also there's a new character in here. Bear with me, I know she may seem like a bitch, and might be OOC, but wtf this is my story. Not much Roxiri - no let me rephrase that - not much Roxas. But there is Roxiri. Kairi admits to something. There that's all I'm saying lmao.
Also, I'm kind of a little germaphobe... lol
Anyway, I'm kind of rambling, I should just let you read already. So enjoy!
And I don't own KH and stuff. The plot is entirely mine though!
x.X.x
Chapter 36:
The day of the baseball game; it was a day I was thoroughly dreading. It wasn't even good weather to be playing outside. The clouds were still angrily swarming, threatening the town to a world without sun. I could sense it, a storm was brewing.
My heart; there was a storm brewing there too. It was aching and I didn't know why. Why was I in so much pain?
I knew the answer to my question, no matter how dumb I played. I missed him. I knew I did. I hadn't seen him in days and I couldn't help but think how pathetic it was of me.
Everything I did reminded me of him in some small way. It was depressing, and very annoying. I stared at a pack of gum I had resting on my beside table for the longest. It was a weird habit, but sometimes it made me feel a little better.
Even my own parents noticed my upset behavior – when they weren't giving each other the cold shoulder that is. Something was wrong with the two of them, I just didn't know what. I didn't really care at the moment. How can I worry about my parents relationship problems when my heart was in utter turmoil?
I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, watching the glow in the dark stars glare at me. I stared at them, hoping they'd glow back.
And then I was suddenly in Roxas's room, on his floor, laying beside him and staring at the stars. He was making fun of me, I don't know why, I probably did something stupid. My face was flushing as he suddenly turned to look at me with a warm expression. His eyes were liquid soft and clear, reminding me of marbles. His hand reached up to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. His face was close to mine at that point; I could feel his hot breath on my lips.
I love you.
The feel of my phone vibrating in my pocket broke me from my weird fantasy. I sighed, realizing I was still in my own room, staring at my old, dull, glow in the dark stars. With a huff, I curled up on my side, and hugged my stomach, burying my face in my pillow. I didn't even have enough energy to pull my phone out of my pocket.
Another surge of vibrating let me know another text message was sent.
I let out another sigh, digging in my pocket to find my phone. It vibrated again in my fingers, as I opened it.
Two text messages from Olette, and one from Sora. None from -
I sighed again and threw the phone behind me.
I didn't even want to go to the stupid game. I was more than positive that he wouldn't show up. Why would he anyway? After what I did to him the other night. My heart did a painful flop as I remembered that whole make-out then fight event that happened between us. I mean who does that?
Usually most people would think a fight would happen first and then a make-out, leading to – you know- other things.
My phone vibrated again and again and again. I knew someone was calling me this time. I rolled onto my back again, throwing an arm over my face, groaning. I blindly searched for my phone, before the vibrating stopped.
Four vibrating rings passed, before I had it up to my face.
"Hello?" I mumbled. I felt like smacking my head for not looking at the caller ID first.
"Hey Kairi! Why don't you answer any of my text messages? I mean come on it's already 3 o' clock, you can't still be asleep! Everyone is here, except for you! I can't believe you're trying to skip out on this – "
It was around this time I pulled my phone away from my ear, cringing. I really hate it when people yell on the phone, when they can't hear you. I mean just because you can't hear me, doesn't mean I can't hear you.
At least a minute later I brought the phone back to my ear.
"Seriously Kairi, you're acting like a little kid! Just come over already. You're the one that's supposed to bring the condiments! How are we supposed to eat a hot dog without ketchup and mustard? Who does that – "
"Olette, Olette, OLETTE!" I cried out loudly.
"Oh my god Kairi, you don't have to yell, do you want me to be deaf or what?" Olette snapped. I could just picture her green eyes narrow at me in a glare. Jeez, this girl had issues.
"No, you were the one that – ugh never mind." I groaned out, rubbing my forehead. "I'll be there in a few."
"You better be here! I want to eat!" Olette threatened.
"Yeah okay Olette-"
"I'm giving you ten minutes! You better hurry because I'm timing you."
x.X.x
I was already changed in jeans and a t-shirt, and well his sweater. I didn't know exactly what to wear for baseball. I don't play sports. And plus it looked like it was going to rain. So I thought, pack heavy.
I took the stairs two at a time and was about to burst through the kitchen to grab the ketchup and mustard, when I heard loud voices coming from inside there.
"Another business trip, honestly?" I recognized my mother's voice.
"Yes." And my father's.
"Where are you going exactly?"
"Oh don't even go there, you know I don't know! They always tell me the day of, where I'm off to."
"That makes absolutely no sense!"
"I don't have time for this."
"Fine! Go! Just go! I don't care!"
If it was possible I shrunk into the wall. The only time I'd ever heard my mom this angry was when I accidently dropped her earrings down the garbage disposal. I honestly didn't hear the end of it. My father's footsteps sounded down the hallway as he walked out of the kitchen. I froze when he came to the foot of the stairs, and balked at the sight of me.
His mouth fell slack, and his face turned white. We both stared at each other wide eyed until he looked away, coughing. He patted the top of his red hair awkwardly.
"I'm sorry, kiddo." He muttered quickly, ascending the stairs and leaving me alone. Hesitantly, I crept my way into the kitchen, to find my mom gripping the edge of the counter tightly. Her eyes were closed and her face was red.
"Mom?" I probed, moving closer. Her head snapped up and stared at me confusedly as if she were in a trance. Her eyes refocused suddenly, as she was brought back to reality.
"Kairi, aren't you going to the park with your friends?" She asked fiercely, and it almost made me flinch. I chewed my lip and looked away. I felt like some kind of intruder.
"I – um –need a ride –" My voice was drowned out by a loud door slam. I glanced up at my mom, who pulled her eyebrows together and rolled her eyes.
"Yeah sure, I'll get the keys."
x.X.x
The mustard and ketchup bottles sat in my lap unmoving. I couldn't tear my eyes away from them. I couldn't look at my mom. I could feel the anger still inside her, with the way she gripped the steering wheel tightly, or raised the music up loud to a channel she didn't even like.
I kept quiet and held the bottles. My mood immediately dampened. How could I possibly go to this stupid baseball game now?
I wanted to tell her to drive me back, tell her that we'll sit together and watch movies all day. Get fat off of ice cream. But as soon as the thought reached my head, we were already in the Park's parking lot.
She stopped the car, and I could feel her eyes on me, expectantly. I gazed intently at the bottles in front of me. I opened my mouth, then closed it abruptly. I felt annoyed at my inability to speak. It was just my mom.
"Mom I – "
"Are those your friends over there? They're waving at you." She said stonily. "I think you'd better go, hmm?"
I nodded my head automatically, gripping the bottles and opening the door. I had one foot out the door, when I suddenly turned around.
"Mom," I started cautiously, nervously even. "You and dad; you're going to be alright, right?"
She stared at me confused for a moment, before her lips pulled into a knowing smile.
"Of course, Kairi. That's what people do, they get into fights. It's nothing serious, so don't worry over it okay?" She said to me, but I didn't quite believe her.
I still smiled and nodded my head in agreement, before getting out of the car, and waving goodbye.
I didn't so much as walk two steps before Olette tackled me and snatched the bottles away from me.
"Kairi! That was like, more than ten minutes! You're not getting any!" She snapped, running back to the table, where all the food was covered with tin foil. I shrugged my shoulders apologetically, before scouting out the field.
Already I could spot practically all the boys throwing the big green softball to each other. Okay, apparently we were playing softball instead of baseball.
My eyes glanced back towards the food table to find Xion, Namine, Sora, and to my surprise Roxas, sitting around. My eyes locked with him first. He shot me a glare before turning away. That was such a downer; I could even feel my shoulders sag at that gesture.
Next I turned to Namine, who was giggling at the way Sora was eating. Like a pig. I rolled my eyes before turning to Xion, who coincidentally was looking directly at me with a grave expression.
"Hey Kairi!" Sora mumbled out, food falling out of his mouth. I wrinkled my noise, waving back to him.
I tried to subtly take a seat next Roxas. He turned his body so he wasn't fully facing me.
"Hi." I said shyly. His blue eyes glanced in my direction briefly before looking away.
"Hi." He said flatly.
"H-how've you been?" I asked nervously, fiddling with my fingers.
"Fine."
I sighed, and looked down at my bitten nails. I was tempted to bite them now, but that was kind of sort of unattractive.
"Look, Roxas, I'm –"
"Not now." He snapped, rising from his seat and walking off towards the field. I felt really miffed, and incredibly depressed as I watched him walk away. I knew I really hurt him the last time, but I was honestly not expecting this kind of reaction. Or the way I was feeling because of it.
Sora and Namine rose from their seats to go practice as well. Sora, teasing Namine about her size and her inability to hit the ball far, and Namine complaining that Sora couldn't catch a ball if his life depended on it.
I frowned watching the both of them. It should have bugged me, their closeness.
"What's going on Kairi?" Xion's voice broke me from my thoughts.
"Hm?"
"Why do you look so upset?" She probed, leaning forward across the table. Her blue eyes danced around brightly. But I wasn't fooled. I knew she was hiding away all of her own pain.
I hesitated, before shaking my head.
"It's nothing."
"Not from what I saw at the cinema." Xion answered cheekily, causing me to flush a deep red. I shook my head roughly.
"What – what do you mean? What did you see? Xion!" I stammered.
Her grin widened for a moment, an ear to ear grin, but then it fell. Fell into a frown that confused me. Her blue eyes dimmed as she stared at me seriously.
"What are you doing Kairi?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what are you doing with Roxas?" She clarified. I felt the flush on my face turn pale. Great, even Xion could see how terrible I was.
"I-I don't know what-"
"You're dangling him by a thread, dude." She said softly. I turned away from her heavy gaze.
"I know."
"I wouldn't say this to anyone else but I trust you- he really cares about you, believe me I can tell- he told me that he was stuck in the car with his parents for an hour, before the ambulance came. He told me he talked to his mom for a good whole ten minutes before she died. Can you imagine being stuck in the car with your dead parents? It must have been a completely traumatizing experience."
I didn't realize that my eyes were starting to get watery. I quickly sniffed them away
"Kairi, I know he loves you." Xion continued, her eyes turning into a slight glare. "And I know you care about his well being too. But, you're hurting him."
I chewed my lip and turned away. "I know that."
"Don't you think it's time to actually do something?" she said softly. "I used to wholeheartedly support you two, together, but it seems like you aren't even putting yourself out there. You're my friend Kairi, but so is Roxas, and honestly I think that this has gone on far too long. He can't sit and wait for you forever."
"I know that, Xion!" I said heatedly. "I know, I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused."
"Then just –"
"No, I don't want to let him go." I admitted earnestly. "I mean, I know he's special to me. I just don't know why or how important he is to me. It's – it's not just a crush, I'm positive of that."
Xion eyed me skeptically, her blue eyes darting between mine. Her lips were in a tight frown, and I was so convinced that she'd tell me to just give up on him. I really was.
Suddenly her lips pulled into that wide smile, and her eyes brightened.
"I knew it!" She exclaimed. "I totally knew it!"
"You mean you just did that on purpose so you'd make me talk?" I demanded incredulously.
She smiled apologetically.
"You have no idea how much of a relief it is to hear you say that. I don't think I'd be able to stand the thought of Aqua and Roxas together. I mean now that you've recognized your feelings, you can dump Sora, and be with Roxas!"
"Huh? I didn't admit to anything! And I can't just dump Sora –"
"Oh believe me, yes you can. Now that you're back in the picture, she doesn't stand a chance. But you better watch out, she is quite taken with Roxas."
"Wait who is she?"
"Aqua.." Xion deadpanned.
"-And who the hell is Aqua?"
"Xion, is my hot dog done?" A loud voice rang through my ears. I glanced at Xion who had a dead face as she stared over my shoulder. I turned to come face to face with an absolutely stunning girl.
"My cousin." Xion muttered.
Aqua, Xion's cousin, was very well equipped. I stared in amazement as her chest practically bulged out of her super tight, v-neck t-shirt. Her long pale legs seemed never ending with the short short shorts she was wearing. They almost could have passed for underwear, I noted.
Her blue eyes, locked on me for a moment, scanning me up and down. And I felt completely inferior towards her. Well who wouldn't, being around this tall model like girl?
She flipped her short – obviously dyed – blue hair out of her face to give Xion a sweet grin.
"Aqua, this is my friend Kairi, Kairi this is Aqua." Xion introduced us languidly.
"Hello, Kairi." She said in this sugarcoated voice. I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. It reminded me of candy. It's good when you first eat it, bad when you get all those cavities in your mouth.
"Hi." I answered politely, waiting for her to continue with her introduction, except she didn't. She snapped her head back to Xion.
"So, where's my hot dog?"
"Go make it yourself!" Xion snapped.
"That's quite rude, Xion." She sneered, putting her hands on her hips. I could see her manicured fingernails from my spot; they put mine to shame.
"You would know!" Xion stammered. I could tell she was getting angry; her face was reddening.
I watched the two cousins, Xion looking completely ruffled, and Aqua with a neutral face. Her blue eyes narrowed at the black haired girl, and her lips pulled into a small smirk. I didn't know what kind of affect it would have on Xion, but in less than two seconds of the stare, she sighed.
"Fine, what do you want on it?" Xion grumbled.
Aqua, shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know, figure it out."
With that, she turned towards the field. I couldn't help but notice how exaggerated her strutting was.
"God I hate her." Xion's voice said behind me. I turned back towards her, and watched as she grabbed a bun from the bag.
"I can tell." I said. Xion plucked a weenie out from underneath the foiled plate, and stuffed it inside the bun, breaking the bottom of the bread. She huffed, but made no move to switch for a new bun.
I chewed my lip watching her stomp around the lunch area, like a madwoman.
"She seems, like… " I trailed off trying to come up with a word.
"A bitch." She finished heatedly, drowning the hot dog with mustards. At this her lips pulled into a half smile. "She hates mustard." It was muttered underneath her breath, but I still heard.
"Well don't you agree?" She demanded, looking up from the catastrophe of a hot dog she created, up to my face.
I winced apologetically, before nodding my head. "Yeah. She does."
"She thinks she's so great!" She continued, slapping the hot dog on a paper plate. "But she's not, I mean, will you look at that hair?"
"Maybe she's just – "
"No, Kairi, you don't know her." She muttered seriously. "Wait until she gets to you. You're not going to be able to stand her."
I gaped at her.
"Seriously, Xion, I think you're taking this a little too – "
"Look, look, you're time's approaching, Kairi." Xion said quickly, grabbing my shoulders and turning me around to face the field. My eyes scanned for the blue hair, and I spotted her next to a flash of blonde.
She was only a few inches shorter, but it still didn't make up for the fact that she was still too close to Roxas. Her hand was touching his forearm, as she leaned in and whispered in his ear. Roxas seemed unaffected by it – or at least I hoped he was.
She moved closer, and I felt my blood boil in anger. I mean like what the hell, seriously? Roxas was –
I stopped, averted my eyes, and shook my head.
"Go get your man." Xion said excitedly, giving me a shove.
"No! Don't be stupid, he's not – he's not mine."
Xion flashed me a disappointed look, before joining the others on the field.
x.X.x
It would have been great to say I was superb at baseball, kicked Aqua out of the water with my skills, and thoroughly impressed Roxas, along with all my other friends; however, that was definitely not the case. I was terrible, no, terrible was an understatement. I was absolutely dreadful.
Even Namine was better than I was, and that was saying something. I couldn't hit the ball for nothing, I couldn't catch any of the balls, and running – oh boy that was a whole different story.
All in all I was not having the time of my life. Especially since Xion's cousin and Roxas were put into the same team. I mean come on, how unfair was that?
"Kairi, you're up!" Sora's voice hollered from the entrance of the dugout. I let out a loud groan.
"Can't someone else bat for me?" I begged. Sora frowned, shaking his messy brown head. He handed me the metal bat, and it oddly felt similar to the skateboard; both were evil.
I could feel Roxas's eyes on me, from third base, as I stepped up to the plate and watched Hayner – the pitcher – do some weird wind ups and throw the ball. I didn't even realize I was supposed to swing yet.
"STRIKE!" Pence called out through his mask.
"Aw, crap." I mumbled under my breath. My eyes flitted past Hayner to the blue haired girl occupying second base. She was smirking at me and chewing her gum like a cow. Ugh. Gross.
"Hey batter, batter, batter," She called out, and it was really pissing me off.
Hayner winded up.
"SWING!"
And like the idiot I was, I actually swung.
"Come on Kairi! Don't fall for that! What kind of girl are you?" I heard Olette's voice from the dugout, as she furiously clawed at it. Jeez… this girl really had issues.
I knew the whole tension and pressure of the game rested on me at this moment, and I absolutely hated it. Aqua kept up with her taunts and she kept flashing Roxas those sickening looks. I was really mad at this point. I mean, no one looks at Roxas like that, besides me.
Hayner winded up and I kept picturing that stupid girl's face as the green ball. If only I could really whack her with the bat.
"RUN RUN! KAIRI RUN!"
I blinked, looking around, and spotted the green ball, rolling through Aqua's legs, passed Tidus at center, and rolling all along the green field.
"I-I hit it!" I cried out, jumping.
"Yes you did! Run!" Sora bellowed, along with Olette, who looked as if she were having a seizure.
I was kind of milking it; running I mean. I wasn't very fast, and I was kind of gloating. Especially when I kicked dirt at Aqua and stomped on second.
I was starting to get worried when I was nearing third. Tidus passed the ball to Aqua, who was only seconds away from throwing to Roxas. I could see his blue eyes, calculating my running, as if anticipating my out. I know it was only for the game – his intense stare – but I couldn't help but feel my face heat up.
"Run Kairi! Go!"
I sucked in a deep breath and booked it, not even stopping when Roxas caught the ball, and held it out to tag me. It shouldn't have surprised me that I fell. I was kind of expecting it, what I wasn't expecting was falling on Roxas.
A loud groan, made me open my eyes in shock. I felt a body squirm underneath me; Roxas.
"Ow." He mumbled under his breath. I lifted my head to meet his.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
His blue eyes searched mine. For a moment I saw the hard surface melt away, into that liquid blue I'd come to cherish. My heart raced as his eyes lowered to my nose, and then to my mouth. I knew what was coming. I could feel it in my bones; this familiar anticipation. I closed my eyes and waited for it.
Except it didn't come.
Instead I fell back on my butt, as he stood up, brushing off his jeans. HE looked away from me as he bent down and pressed his glove on my knee.
"Out." He said quietly.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Aqua glaring in our direction. And for the first time that day, I felt superior.
x.X.x
"That's game!"
"What? It's only been five innings!"
"It's cold!"
"I still think we won!"
"It was a tie!"
"Uh, hell no! It so wasn't!"
"It's cold and I'm tired!"
x.X.x
So it was decided – by a landslide – that we'd call it a day. It was getting cold, and it did look like it was about to rain any minute.
Roxas didn't speak to me, it's not like I was expecting him to either. But was it so wrong to hope. Much to my disdain, Aqua was hanging on to him like some desperate idiot. Earlier in the day I learned that she was already a senior. That's like child molestation or something, considering Roxas was like three years younger.
My things were already packed; my things consisting of ketchup and mustard. So I just needed one thing left to do; restroom. It wasn't like I needed to use it. Not like I would, have you seen public restrooms? I just wanted to wash my hands. After a day of touching the same ball being tossed around, the same bat, and the nasty dirt, I was dying to sanitize these babies.
As I assumed the bathrooms were filthy. Thank god, I didn't need to use it. I quickly washed my hands, dried them off, and attempted to open the door with my foot. Imagine how many people go to the bathroom, don't wash their hands, and then touch the door handle?
I was about to make my way back to our little lunch site when a pair of familiar voices stopped. Jeez am I really getting that bad with eavesdropping?
I peeped around the corner of the bathroom to find Namine and Sora sitting down against a thick trunked tree. It seriously looked like some kind of scene out of a shojo manga.
"Namine." I heard Sora say softly.
I frowned as I moved a little closer. Namine had her head bowed, and her hands were clenched tightly in her lap.
"I don't want this." She said seriously, her hands clenching even tighter, I could see her knuckles turning white.
"And you think I do?" Sora asked incredulously.
"No."
"But I can't help it." He continued, reaching out and plucking a hand from her lap. She breathed in sharply, and tilted her head away from him.
"I can't either."
They both sat in silence for a few seconds and I was contemplating whether to walk out and reveal myself or not. But Sora's voice erased any of those thoughts.
"How long?"
Namine shook her head, and brought one of her hands to her face. I heard her sniff loudly.
"I can't say."
"How long?" Sora pressed; his voice harsher than before.
She gulped audibly and turned to look at him. Her cheeks were flushed; from where I was standing I could tell she was beginning to cry.
"Since –"
"Since when, Namine!"
"Since I first saw you!" She blurted out. "At the beginning I was so nervous to talk to you. You were just so cool, and popular, I was stuck watching you from far away. And then you started talking to me, and it freaked me out, but I was happy, you know? I pretty much let you do all the talking. I was so scared that maybe you might not even like me, if I ever opened my mouth."
Sora opened his mouth, looking as if he were about to protest, but Namine held up a hand.
"Then when we got to high school, I was pretty sure that you did like me. I mean you were not so subtle about flirting. I was just so happy; I wanted to tell you, I really did. But – "She stopped, letting out a quivering sigh. "But – but then I knew Kairi liked you as well. And I just – I couldn't just do that to her. She's my best – I mean was – my best friend."
Namine chewed her lip, and paused for a moment. Her blue eyes glazed over for a second before refocusing. Sora waited, even though he looked like he was ready to burst at any moment.
"And then Riku came. I honestly did like him. And I seriously thought I was in love with him." Her face whitened at the mention of the silver haired guy. She looked down and shook her head again. "But almost every time I was with him, I couldn't help but think of you."
Namine lifted her head to face him. Her blue eyes darting between his frozen expression. He blinked rapidly.
"Goddam it Namine," He said in a low voice, burying his hands in his face. "This- this whole time?"
"I'm sorry." She muttered quietly.
"Don't say that. You have nothing to apologize for."
"I didn't mean for this to happen." She said, a forlorn expression on her face. "It's just – all I ever wanted was you."
Sora didn't respond. He was still staring at her with a shocked expression. I was too. I was shocked out of my wits.
"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that." He admitted his face flushing.
I couldn't hear anymore; I walked away as I saw them leaning in towards each other.
x.X.x
The group had already packed up the whole lunch area back into their containers and baggies; some people – mostly Pence – were sneaking home leftovers. Xion was the only one sitting down at the bench. When she saw me she stood up and walked towards me.
I was pretty sure she saw the expression on my face, because her face turned serious.
"What's wrong Kairi?"
I bit my now trembling lip, shaking my head roughly.
"Kairi… " She stopped when she caught sight of Sora and Namine walking together. They had a fair amount of distance between the two of them now, considering how close they were before. Namine's face gave her away; it was as red as a tomato.
"Are we leaving already?" Sora called out, looking completely elated. I shot him a glare.
No one answered his question, seeing as they were busy packing their equipment. Xion looked at me, shrugged her shoulders and stood next to Namine. As they both walked off, leaving me with Sora I felt like strangling them.
"Come on I'll walk you home." Sora started, putting an arm around me.
"Don't touch me!"
Sora stared at me confusedly. "Okay…"
"And I don't want you walking me home."
Sora frowned at this. "Kairi, what's wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with you?"
"What are you – "
"I hope you didn't feel obligated to go out with me just because I told you I liked you." I snapped, feeling my blood boil with anger. Sora looked at me. The shock on his face was absolutely priceless. I could see the guilt flit through his eyes as he looked away, coughing uncomfortably.
"What do you – um, what do you mean?"
"I saw you and Namine, Sora."
His gaze met mine briefly and I caught the misery and sorrow in his wide blue eyes. He turned away from me, which only made me more frustrated.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. My eyesight was becoming incredibly blurry because of the stupid tears that were begging to come out. My throat clogged up, and it hurt terribly.
"Was this-"I choked, "Was this some kind of scheme to get to my best friend? I was just your stupid little rebound girl wasn't I?"Sora's head snapped up, glaring at me intensely. It almost made me stumble backwards.
"No! Of course not!" he bellowed, but calmed down. "I like you too, Kairi, I really do. I never would have thought I'd like you this much. But-"I knew what was coming next, and I hated that.
"-But you don't like me the way you like Namine," I finished weakly, feeling my knees wobble. My lips trembled unintentionally, and I cursed myself for that. Sora knitted his eyebrows together sadly.
"I'm sorry," he apologized for the second time. He hung his head low.
"Don't bother." I said harshly, taking one last look at him and breaking out into a run.
"Kairi! Come on!" He called after me, but I didn't stop.
Once I was convinced I was at a safe distance between us, I came to a very slow walk. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to stay with those people either. If I was being honest, I wanted to go see –
x.X.x
I walked home feeling as stupid as ever. Why did I ever think Sora would ever like me? My whole body felt numb, and nothing mattered anymore. Eventually, I knew, I'd regain my "life" back, but now, I felt empty, like there's no purpose. It wasn't the fact that my boyfriend just confessed that he was practically in love with my best friend. It was more that Namine didn't tell me anything. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. How could I possibly not think that she too was in pain over this stupid Kairi Sora Namine love triangle?
My eyes hurt from so much crying on the way home, I think I was all cried out when I got there. I didn't even look or talk to my mom when I got inside. She would have noticed my puffy red eyes, and demand to know what was wrong. Instead, I bolted to my bedroom, locked the door, and sank into my bed.
I thought of Sora. His smile, his arms, his lips, they all seemed like distant memory or dream now. It felt like some fantasy that never happened. And for some reason I didn't care about losing it.
That thought only made the crying pick up again. I quickly stuffed my face in my pillow because I heard my mom at the door.
"Kairi!" My mom called through the door. "Food's ready!"
"I-I'm not hungry" I yelled back, feeling my voice give out. Great way to hide your depression Kairi, I thought angrily.
"Are you feeling alright?"
"Yeah, I'm just;" I tried to think of something fast." I'm just tired." The other side was quiet. She wasn't buying that pathetic excuse for a reason. But I think she understood because she didn't bother after that.
I placed the pillow over my head again, and laid there, helplessly, wishing – of all people – Roxas was here with me. But the more I thought about it, the more I began to realize things.
"Kairi, I've never ever been jealous of Sora, or of anything he's had… Until you came into the picture."
I pushed the pillow off my face, and sighed loudly.
"What am I going to do?" I said, saying my thoughts out loud. I rolled back on my side, clutching my stomach, when I heard a loud tapping sound on my bedroom window.
The tapping grew louder, to the point where I got off my bed and looked out to find Sora standing out in my backyard. I opened my window.
"What are you doing here?" I hissed.
"I- I want to talk to you Kairi." He whispered back. "Please."
"I don't want to talk to you." I snapped.
"Please. We need to talk this out."
x.X.x
"Go on; talk then." I said sharply. We were both sitting out in the front porch. I made sure my mom wasn't being nosy; I snuck out.
Sora sighed quietly and I held my breath. I wasn't so mad anymore, maybe a bit sad. I wanted to say I was sad that this was coming to an end, but I wasn't so sure that was the reason.
He peered over at me, from beneath his chocolate brown bangs. I could see his eyes bright and pained as he gazed at me. How long ago it seemed I used to be so mesmerized by these azure eyes. Or the way his wide smile would lighten up his whole tanned face. It didn't surprise me when I felt absolutely nothing stir inside me; no butterflies fluttering in my stomach, no face flushing. Nothing.
What did surprise me was the way my heart ached as the brown hair slowly faded into a dark honey blonde shade. The dark blue eyes lightening into an almost pale ice color. The tanned face brightening out into a pasty color.
"What was I doing?"
I blinked, the image immediately washing away. And I was sure that it was Sora sitting next to me. My neutral expression fell into a frown.
"What were we doing?" I clarified, bringing my knees up to my chin. I glanced back to Sora who was still staring at me intensely. His dark eyebrows knitted together in what I assumed was confusion. I almost expected him to question my explanation, but he didn't.
"Yeah," He breathed out, slightly. I could see his breath in the cold chilly air. "You're right; what were we doing?"
"What are we doing now? Are we together or not together – "I started, testing out the waters. "Do you even want me to be your girlfriend?"
"Kairi," Sora fully turned to look at me, he grabbed my left hand. It felt like my hand was stuck in a block of ice, with how cold his hands were. "You know I-I love you, don't you?"
I could feel the hesitation he was giving off. It was the first time he ever used the L- word, and yet, I wasn't nervous, or giddy or even freaked out.
"I know." I muttered. "Me too."
"I just… " He stopped, and turned away. I could see the bitter expression on his features; it didn't suit him.
"It isn't the same is it?" I mused aloud, and watched him snap his head back in my direction. His blue eyes widened for a moment, before softening. His mouth pressed into a tight, firm line. I felt my lips tilt into a half smile. "It's not me is it? You're not in love with me."
Sora's lips pulled downward into a miserable frown.
"And there's nothing I can do to change that." I finished wearily, feeling my smile fall.
Sora didn't respond at first. But after a few seconds, his eyes flickered away and back to my face, before he shook his head slowly. His blue eyes blinked rapidly, and it suddenly occurred to me that maybe he was about to cry.
I flipped our hands around and squeezed tightly.
"Hey, hey, come on it's not bad." I whispered quickly, moving a bit closer. I could see him clenching his jaw as he turned away. I was pretty sure he was trying to hide his face from me. "It's not the end of the world."
"I am so sorry, Kairi." He said in a choked whisper.
"Seriously, Sora it's okay, I promise you." I said softly, interlocking our fingers.
I saw the back of his head shake abruptly.
"No, it's not okay, Kairi!" He growled earnestly. "All I ever do is hurt you. It's – it's not fair."
I let out a light sigh, closing the gap between us and pulling him into a hug.
"Sora, I haven't exactly been a saint to you either."
Or to Roxas.
"But, still, I've put you through worse. I kissed your best friend while we were still together – "I cringed at that thought. "And then you still took me back, even when you knew I was in love with someone else."
I fell silent.
"You did the same thing." I countered after a few seconds, pulling away from him.
"Huh?"
"You took me back, even when I did the same thing to you – "
Sora's eyebrows pulled together in confusion as his blue eyes darted between my own. His mouth opened then closed and repeated.
"What do you mean, no you didn't- Roxas!" He blurted out with wide eyes. My face immediately flushed at the mention of the blonde's name.
Sora watched my face flush, and then let out a soft chuckle, reaching up and ruffling my hair. "Would you look at us? We're a bunch of screw ups aren't we?"
"Yeah." I agreed bitterly. "I'm sorry about that."
"I can't blame you, I'm sorry too." He said gently, throwing an arm over my shoulder. He looked down at me seriously. "You love him."
"I-I don't know."
Sora bowed his head, shaking it briefly, before looking back at me.
"You do." He smiled the first genuine smile I'd seen in a long time. My face reddened, as I turned away.
I took in a deep breath and sighed out, watching the breath cloud form. Slowly, I nodded my head against his shoulder.
"I do." I agreed.
Sora pulled me closer to him, and I heard him sniff loudly. Remembering suddenly, I glanced up to check out his eyes; sure enough the rims were red. But I couldn't spot any moistness. It shouldn't have felt this way; a break up. It shouldn't have felt so damn happy. I was happy. My heart was fluttering and I was excited.
My stomach was doing somersaults, and I just felt like jumping around and laughing. I didn't care if it looked like it would rain any second – rain would have made my mood even better. That, and – and him. I wanted to see him so badly, it almost hurt.
"Is it weird that I suddenly feel like this huge sense of relief?" Sora broke my fiesta thoughts.
"No." I responded, pulling away from him. "I feel the same way."
"Hmm, looks like our slogan really did work, eh?" He chuckled, and winked at me. He untangled his hand from mine, reaching upward, and pinching my cheeks.
"What slogan?" I snapped, slapping his hand away.
Sora feigned hurt, clutching at his heart. "You mean you forgot already?" He said exasperatedly. "Kairi, we're two lost souls brought together – "
"- to make the other whole again, yeah I think I'd remember something that corny and cliché." I mumbled in response.
He smirked at first and then beamed, and then fell into uncontrollable fits of laughter. Pretty soon I joined in with his giggling. The two of us; ex boyfriend and girlfriend, laughing as if we were the best of friends.
I was convinced things were going to look good from here on out – oh how I was so wrong.
x.X.x
Dun dun duh! Cliffhanger-ish? I hope you lot liked it! I'll try and update soon. Oh and by the way, Aqua is one of my fav characters...so I'm not purposely bashing her.
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