A/N: Sorry I've been quiet, truth be told I have other projects higher up on my list than this one at the moment and some things just have to give. Oh, and I haven't been getting many prompts or one-shot plot bunnies, meaning I have less material to work with. Which is good, considering the aforementioned more important projects, among them getting my high school diploma and finishing my original novel, and another being finishing a multi-chapter that if I still like by the end and feel I can add to and I might turn into a novel. So…yeah. I've just been really busy.

Okay. Now that my explanation is over and done with, Guest requested

Could you make one where Mycroft - ever the lovely father - goes on a fishing trip with his sons, while Molly takes their daughter kajacking (did you really think she'd take her shopping :D) and everything goes greatly wrong? :)

This'll be pretty fun. Oh, and to make this clear, I'm assuming that kajacking means kayaking, as A) the letters are close together on the keyboard, making it an easy typo, and B) when looking up kajak, I did get some info on kayaks. Plus, it was either that or carjacking, and this is actually legal.

Problems with America

Molly was sitting on the couch with her legs over Mycroft's lap and her feet shoved under a pillow as she stretched. "You sure this will work out all right?" she asked.

"I don't see why not. And the poor congressman was rather insistent someone take the little cabin off his hands after some journalist exposed his affair."

"Makes me glad I'm not American, anyone can see what you're doing if you know how to go about it," Molly said absentmindedly.

"Not that I'd lose my job for having an affair," Mycroft replied.

"Well, no. You'd be dead before re-elections," Molly smiled.

Mycroft chuckled. "True. And now we have a little cabin in America for vacations. In the middle of nowhere."

Molly grinned. "And where Sherlock can never find us. Should I tell the kids, or should you?"

"Let's not tell them," Mycroft said. "Let's kidnap them in the middle of the night. See if those self-defense classes are paying off."

"They're 12, Myc."

"Exactly."

Molly started giggling as she imagined the looks on their faces to wake up one morning in America with no explanation. "Let's do it."

Victoria was the one who woke up out of the three kids. She slept through Mycroft packing her bags in the dark, but the second he covered her mouth with his hand she was up and trying to force him into the wall. It took her a second to register who it was. "Dad?! What are you doing?!" she hissed.

"It's supposed to be a surprise," he whispered back. "I'm glad you at least listen during those self-defense classes. Tom and Hamish didn't do much in the way of anything."

Victoria rolled her eyes. "They prefer wrestling with each other, the idiots. Where exactly are we…" she swayed on her feet and Mycroft caught her just as she dropped to the floor from the small sedative he gave her.

"It's supposed to be a surprise," he whispered in her ear. "You'll see in the morning."

"DAD! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, STOP DRUGGING ME!" Victoria yelled from the top of the stairs.

"And then there were two," Mycroft muttered to Molly in the kitchen.

Victoria stormed in, fuming. "Seriously, why did you have to drug me for 7 and a half hours?!"

"Technically speaking, it's 9 ½. Closer to 10."

"But…the clock says that it's just about 10:30…"

"…On the Eastern Coast of America," Mycroft said, letting the words sink in.

Victoria's eyes widened. "No. Way."

"Yes way," Molly said. "We're in North Carolina. Feels like the middle of nowhere, closest house next to this one is probably 10 or 20 miles out. Middle of nowhere with a lake to ourselves."

"Do Tom and Hamish know?"

"They're still out cold," Mycroft said. "I'll wait for them to get up if you two want to go out and do something."

Molly nodded and Victoria grinned. "Unbelievable. We're on vacation in America. How did this happen?!"

"A congressman couldn't keep what was happening in his pants to himself," Mycroft remarked as he skillfully moved just out of reach of Molly's elbow.

Victoria grinned. "Thank goodness for American Idiots," she said as she ran off, not waiting for anyone to follow.

Molly looked over at Mycroft. "I think I'll see if that old kayak floats. Try not to kill the boys when they wake up."

Molly and Victoria were out in the kayak when they heard the soft grumble of a motor and saw Tom and Hamish fighting over who got which fishing rod a ways away. Victoria laughed. "Those two can be so dense," she said.

Molly sighed. "But you don't get to choose your family."

Victoria shrugged. "True. I wonder what they're doing?"

As it happens, the three male Holmes's in question were trying very, very hard not to commit murder on each other. Tom and Hamish were arguing over an old fishing rod they'd found and who should get to cast it, and Mycroft was just trying with all of his strength not to turn sharply and throw both of them off the boat. He cut off the motor. "Stop fighting!" he yelled.

Tom and Hamish shut up. Mycroft pulled out 3 new rods. "These came with the deal," he said. "No one has to use that old one."

Tom and Hamish each grabbed a rod and Mycroft showed them how to tie a lure on the end. However, when it came time to cast, Tom's lure caught onto Hamish's pants and tore out a big chunk right over where you could see Hamish's fluorescent light blue underwear. Hamish felt for his jeans and found none, blushing and pushing Tom over the edge of the boat. "Watch where you're casting!"

Tom popped up out of the water with an undignified screech. "Don't push people into the water when they're not ready, jerk!" and with that, he promptly pulled Hamish in with him.

"Boys, please, not today…" Mycroft started, before realizing that Hamish was having some problems staying afloat, and Tom just kept splashing him with more and more water. "Tom. Tom! Tom, stop it!"

He jumped in with them and forcibly pulled Tom away, grabbing Hamish and helping him up over the side of the boat where he promptly started coughing up water. Mycroft turned to Tom and pulled him back on the boat too, making sure he stayed away from Hamish. As he was driving the boat back to the dock, he saw Molly and Victoria looking over their way. He gave them a little wave and continued driving.

"What do you think happened?" Victoria asked.

"I don't know, but we should probably head back…"

"…Mum?"

"I'll be fine, just a little overheated. Did you bring any water out with us?"

"No, I thought you would!"

"Okay, okay. I think I can make it back without something to drink."

They started paddling back and about halfway through Molly's breathing got really ragged and she stopped rowing.

"…Mum? You okay?"

"I think I might have a bit of heat exhaustion, my head's killing me and I feel like I'm about to die of thirst. Can you…can you get us back to the dock by yourself?"

"Yeah, I think I can," Victoria started rowing as hard and as fast as she could with Molly trying to lie down as much as possible in the cramped space.

When they came up to the dock, Mycroft rushed over. "Victoria, can you wake Mum up, I need her help with Hamish."

"Mum is pretty close to suffering from heat stroke, I think she has a few things on her plate at the moment."

Mycroft muttered a few choice swear words under his breath and Victoria pretended she couldn't hear. "Molly? Molly, sweetheart, are you okay?"

"Ugh…sick," she muttered. "Need to get inside, cool off and get plenty of fluid. …What's wrong with Hamish?"

"Nothing I can't deal with on my own," Mycroft lied. "Let's get inside, I think there's actually built-in air-conditioning, I can turn down the thermostat."

When all three of them were inside and Molly was dozing on top of the bed in the master bedroom with a cold compress on her head and a half-frozen bottle of water, Victoria looked at her dad and asked, "What's wrong with Hamish?"

"Oh, Tom pulled him under the water in the lake and he couldn't properly surface again."

"So, basically, he almost drowned and now wants vengeance."

"…Basically."

"We're gonna need another vacation after this vacation, Dad."

"Any chance I could sell you on the idea that this is to make the rest of the year seem like a vacation?"

"Not a chance. Next time, we should come here in the spring or the fall when it's cooler. It'd be about 21 degrees and Mum wouldn't pass out from heat exposure."

"Yeah, that's probably true. Any chance you have advice for dealing with Tom and Hamish?"

"Put them in a room together so both of them know what they're punishment is and won't go all Batman-vigilante on each other."

Mycroft sighed. "Where would I be without you and your Mum?"

"Presumably nowhere near as stressed out about problems like this."

"Shut up," he said half-heartedly. "You should probably take it slow too, just in case."

"I was planning on reading outside for a bit with some ice-cold water to work on a bit of a tan, make my friends jealous when I get back."

"Have fun, and if you feel even the least bit faint, come back inside."

"Got it, Dad, I'm not made of glass."

"I just worry, you know that."

Victoria nodded. "But I'm not the one with the problems, America itself is. I know when to give it a break and come back inside."

"All right…"

"Good luck not dying!" she said with false cheeriness as she ran back outside.