Chapter 34
Ella approached Peter and gave him the quiver of arrows. "I found these. I hope they will help," she said.
Peter took them, just glancing at her briefly. Then, he paused and looked at her again, taking note of the cloak, the bag and the rope. "Rope?" he asked. "I don't think we will be needing rope. Especially so much of it."
Ella nodded. "I know."
Peter took another moment, just looking at her. "I guess this means you won't be coming with us now?"
"Not right now," Ella agreed. "I will come though. I just have something else to do first."
"Will you tell us why?" Peter asked.
Ella hesitated, biting her lip. "I would, but I am not certain of things yet," she admitted. "But I assure you, it is for a good reason."
"I don't doubt you," Peter said. "Is there anything we can give you that will help?"
"Is it possible there is a horse who could assist me? Preferably a talking horse. The talking animals are quite wise." She was also sure that a talking horse would be able to take her to where she wanted to go. She didn't exactly remember where the door was located. She couldn't just ride off and hope for the best. Even directions from the Pevensies and others might not work because Ella was not good at guessing distances or knowing which direction was north or south.
"You will have to ask them yourself," Peter answered, motioning to a group of horses who were standing around, talking in quiet voices.
Ella nodded and approached them. They looked over at her as she came closer. "Hello," she greeted them. "I know you probably do not know me, but my name is Ella."
"We know who you are," one of the horses said.
"I think almost everyone knows you," another added.
Ella nodded. "I know you are all planning on helping with the battle. It is a noble thing. However, I need to do something before I can join the battle."
"The kings and queens have entrusted you with a task?"
"Not exactly," Ella said. "I want to go to the door."
The horses gave whinnies of alarm. "Why would you go there?"
"Because I think I can go there. If I can get inside, I might be able to rescue those there. I have to try at least."
"None of us would attempt to go through the door."
"You don't have to," Ella assured them. "I just need a fast horse to take me there. I know it is scary, but I want to rescue all of the friends of Narnia that are trapped there."
The horses looked at one another and Ella could tell they were nervous, one of them pawing at the ground. They were silent though and Ella worried that none would help.
"I will take you," said a voice.
It was a horse that had been silent up until then. He flicked his tail. "I will take you to the door."
Ella grinned. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
"When do we leave?" asked the horse.
"Right away," Ella said. "What is your name?"
"Toby."
"Alright, Toby. Are you ready to go?"
"I am. Will you be needing a saddle?"
Ella thought about it for a moment, then shook her head. "I imagine I should be fine." She wanted to go before she lost her nerve. She also didn't know the first thing about putting a saddle on a horse.
Toby walked over to where there was a large stone and Ella climbed on top. She grabbed Toby's mane and tried to get on the horse, but landed right back where she was. She didn't have a lot of experience and even though the dress flowed, it wasn't as easy as it would have been in jeans. She frowned, frustrated.
"Would you like a hand?"
Ella hadn't seen Edmund approach, but all of a sudden, he was next to her. She nodded and he linked his hands together, giving her the boost she needed to get on the horse.
"You look prepared," he remarked. "Though you should put the coil of rope over one shoulder and then have it go across your body. It won't slip off your shoulder then. Though, why do you have so much rope?"
Ella didn't answer right away. Instead, she shifted the rope so it crossed over her body, much like how some wore purses that crossed their bodies. It did feel more secure that way.
"Ella?" Edmund asked, putting one hand on her knee.
The young woman sighed. "I'm not going with you. I will join you later, but I have something else to do first."
"What is it? I can come with you," Edmund offered.
"You can't though," Ella answered.
"I could," he protested. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going through the doorway to try to rescue everyone trapped there." She looked down so she wouldn't have to meet Edmund's eye.
She felt Edmund's hand tighten on her knee before pulling away. "Ella, you know that isn't possible."
"It isn't possible for you," she pointed out. "But it might be possible for me. I can't go through the gates and into the garden. That makes me different. Maybe I will be different enough to be able to get through the door."
"That place isn't a safe place. None of us know what might be there. We saw the world become destroyed though. Ella, you shouldn't go."
Part of Ella wanted to listen to this. She would rather stay away from that place. She would rather stay with the others. Yet, she knew she had to do this. She thought of Fledge. He had given his life to save her. There were others there. No one else could go through the door, so she had to try.
"Ella," Edmund started again, then sighed as Ella looked at him. "I shouldn't try to talk you out of doing this. I know that. I want you safe though. I could come as far as the door, but that is it. I can't go in with you."
"You can't talk to me out of this, Edmund. I need to do this. Please understand."
"I do," he admitted. "I just know it is dangerous and I don't like being unable to help."
She gave him a small smile. "I know. That is how I felt leaving here. I knew I had to find Susan, but I worried about all of you when I was gone. Aside from finding Susan, there was nothing else I could do to help. Now, I can do something to help."
Edmund nodded. "I understand. Would you like me to come with you to the door?"
"You should stay. You have an army to lead." Ella reminded him.
He sighed, knowing his duty. "Be safe, Ella. And hurry back."
"I will come to…where you will be," she said, not wanting to actually say the word battlefield. "Once I have done all I can. And be safe as well."
He nodded and stepped back, offering her a small smile. She gave him one in response then took hold of Toby's mane. "Time to run, Toby. As fast as you can."
The horse gave a whinny and Ella hung out tight as they raced away from the others. She saw Lucy and Susan as she flew by, but didn't stop to say anything. It was hard enough to leave after talking Edmund. If Susan and Lucy felt the same way, she might lose her nerve. She knew Edmund would explain to them.
The gallop of the horse became a rhythm that Ella became accustomed to though she didn't loosen her grip on Toby's mane.
She wasn't sure how long Toby ran, but it could have been minutes or hours.
Toby slowed down, coming to a stop on top of the same hill that Edmund and Ella had viewed the door for the first time.
Ella got off Toby without falling, though she knew it wasn't very grateful. She patted the horse's neck. "Thank you, Toby."
"You are welcome. I will say, when we first arrived, we could run fast without trouble. It is harder now. I blame all that has come through that door."
Ella looked at the door and shivered. The grass around it was dead and just looking into the darkness past the doorway made Ella want to turn right back around and go to Cair Paravel.
She looked back at the horse. "We are going to try to fix that," she assured him.
She started walking toward the door. Each step she took felt harder than the one before. She wanted to turn around. At one point, she paused. She knew she could turn around. She doubted anyone could blame her for it. Yet, she thought of Fledge. How could she just leave him to suffer? How could she leave any of them to suffer? She pushed onward.
Getting closer, she felt the cold air coming through the doorway. It felt even colder than winter back home. Even colder than when she had sat in front of Susan's front door.
A whinny made her turn and she saw Toby, standing a few feet behind her. She didn't realize that he had been following her. "I can't go any closer," he said with a shake of his head.
"You didn't have to come this close," Ella told the horse. She walked back to Toby, then pet the horse's soft nose. It felt like velvet.
"Are you certain?" Ella nodded, smiling little as the horse took a few steps back. "I will stay here then and wait for you," Toby assured her.
"Thank you."
Ella gave the horse another smile then set to work. She took off the rope, letting it drop to the ground. Then she reached into the bag and got a stake. She knelt down and tied a knot around the stake. She didn't know a lot of knots, but she did the best she could. Then, Ella put the sharp end into the earth, pushing it down to keep it in place. Once it seemed settled, she stood up and pressed her foot down on the stake, forcing it deeper into the ground.
She tugged on the rope to make certain the stake was in place. It seemed to hold. She pulled it as hard as she could, then put her foot on the stake to be certain it was would stay.
Ella wrapped the other end of the rope around her waist, making a knot. It wasn't comfortable, but she hoped it would be enough to help her find her way back.
"I will be back soon, Toby," she assured the horse, though with each passing moment, she felt her bravery slipping away.
"I will wait for you," Toby said.
She smiled. "Thank you. If I take too long though, you should help the others."
"I will wait," Toby repeated. Apparently he felt he needed to wait for her.
Ella nodded, then pulled out a candle. She lit the candle with one of the matches before putting the matches with the other candle. She had a feeling it would be harder to do once she passed through the doorway.
With that done, she looked at the doorway in front of her. It was so dark, she couldn't see anything inside it. She heard shouts from inside and she wanted to cover her ears. It was horrible and helpless. Yet, it steeled her resolve. She had to do this.
"I'm coming," she whispered. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly before squaring her shoulders and stepping through the doorway, into the dark unknown.