A/N: FF got my reviews fixed and I could answer your wonderful reviews. Thank you so much they were awesome. I was going to wait on this chapter, but your reviews make me want to post faster, so keep them coming! Fasten your seat belt the ride is going to get bumpy... NC

WARINING: There is self harm in this chapter.

Chapter 37

The house was quiet the next morning as Bobby made his way up the stairs to the boy's bedroom dreading what was coming. He looked inside and found the brothers asleep in Dean's bed; Sam curled tightly into his brother's side. Dean had pulled a quilt up over them and he had his arms draped protective over Sam's small form. It was going to break his heart with what he was going to have to do. Steeling himself, he walked to the bed and started to touch Dean's arm only to have a gun drawn, cocked and aimed at him.

"Put that away son." he said softly with a hint of concern.

"Bobby, what's wrong?" Dean asked knowing that tone in his voice. He looked down to see Sammy still sleeping soundly beside him and wondered why Bobby was acting so strange. Bobby took the gun from him and put it in the waistband of his jeans before answering, knowing it was too dangerous for Dean to have the gun.

"Dean, the cops are here. They've come to take Sam back to his adopted parents."

Dean's face flooded with raw emotions as the understanding to the words hit home. He sat up in bed pulling Sam tighter into his arms. His face turned dark and rage clouded his eyes when he saw the two uniformed cops standing in the hallway waiting.

"No, they can't have him. He's my brother." Dean growled threateningly as his body stiffened and he went into fight mode.

"Dee.." Sam asked aroused by Dean's sudden movements. "What's wrong?"

"Sam, your parents sent the police to pick you up. They're flying in and will meet you at the police station." Bobby explained to him.

"They're not my parents and I won't go with them." Sam said stubbornly waking up all the way and pushing himself up in the bed away from Bobby.

"I'm sorry son, but you're a minor and we have to do what they say. Even if they aren't your real parents, they are your guardians and by law we have to do what they want. I'm sorry son."

"No, I won't leave my brother." Sam yelled slapping away Bobby's hand to cling to Dean.

"Sir, I think I can take it from here." a police officer said stepping into the room from the hall. "Trevor, you need to get dressed and come with us."

"My name is Sam and I don't want to." he spat at the officer.

"I'm afraid you have no choice, we have to return you to your parents. They're flying in today to pick you up."

"No Dean." Bobby cautioned him swiping the knife from his hand before the officer said anything. "We have to let him go." he told him knowing this was going to destroy the boy. He saw tears in his eyes that he refused to let fall. His eyes darkened to a deathly rage as a growled began to build in his chest and work its way up into his throat. Bobby kept a strong hold on the boy so he wouldn't attack the policeman and get arrested. He knew how dangerous Dean could be if provoked and taking away his brother was the biggest trigger there was.

"Come on Trevor I'm sorry but we need to get going." the officer insisted guiding him from the bed and pulling him toward the door. Sam dug his heels in and refused to cooperate fighting as hard as he could.

"No, Dee!...Dee!..." Sam cried out trying to reach for him. "No! You don't understand we're supposed to be together!" Sam screamed louder trying to fight the strong grip until the officer picked him up and carried him out.

"S'my..." Dean gasped trying to fight back the crushing feeling as his chest constricted and he felt his heart crumble once again. Sammy was being taken from him again and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was a complete failure, useless; he let his brother down again by not being able to protect him. He was not the big brother he was supposed to be. His guilt and despair broke his soul once again.

Bobby swore he could hear Dean's heart cracking and saw the light go out of his soul as his brother was physically removed from the house. He grabbed Dean to stop him from trying to follow as Sam's screaming echoed up the stairs to only fade away to nothing. The policeman's partner picked up the backpack and made to follow but stopped and spoke.

"I'm sorry about this, we're only doing our job." he apologized before leaving seeing the devastated look on Dean's face. He nodded to Bobby and followed his partner down the stairs and outside.

Bobby had spoke with the cops before coming upstairs and they were not going to press any charges, since Sam did come willingly with them. He was not kidnapped, nor held against his will and no harm came to him, but the broken arm that was explained away as him falling and breaking it.

spn

Dean's body trembled uncontrollably in Bobby's arms while he fought to draw air into his oxygen starved lungs. Bobby could hear the wheezing and jerky intakes of breaths as Dean struggled weakly to push him away. He could tell a panic attack was coming on and tried to talk him through it.

"Son, you gotta breath, get some air in yer lungs." he told the boy rubbing his back trying to get him to calm down enough to draw the much needed air into his lungs. Before he could stop him, Dean pulled from his hold and stumbled from the room and down the hall. "Dean! Son wait!" Bobby called after him. He got up and followed after the boy heading downstairs. The front door was standing open and Dean was no where in sight when he stepped into the foyer. "Damn fool kid." he grumbled looking out at the cold rain that had washed the landscape to a wet, cold, grey scene. He knew Dean didn't have a jacket or any shoes on when he fled. He grabbed his rain coat and poncho before heading out to search for him. At least the car was still there, so he couldn't of gone far, he hoped.

spn

The world around him began to close in and he fought to take air into his lungs as black spots swam before his eyes. His mind wouldn't cooperate and the only thing that made sense was to run, to escape from this nightmare. He bolted from the bed and stumbled down the hall and stairs toward the front door. Dean jerked it open and headed out into the yard, not even feeling the bone chilling, cold rain as it fell on his head and body. He headed into the junkyard partly blinded by the tears and the drops of rain that clung to his lashes and trailed down his face. He swiped a hand across his eyes and used the wrecked cars as support to make his way deeper into the maze. His clothes were soaked within minutes as well as his sock covered feet. He ignored the cold wetness that was chilling him to the bone and wandered mindlessly among the dead wrecks wanting to be alone in his misery.

The shaking was making it harder for him to walk as he leaned against an old wreck to drag in a stuttering breath. His feet were going numb and his teeth were chattering as he wrapped his arms around his shaking body. The rain had gotten harder while he lost himself in the stacks of wrecked skeletons that held their own ghosts and stories.

"Loser!" a voice echoed in his mind causing him to spin around looking for the source. "Failure, you couldn't protect him then and you can't do it now!" it hissed at him as he stumbled back and looked into the empty windows of the cars that stared back at him accusingly.

"You only had one job." a deep male voice accused that he recognized as his father's. "Watch out for your brother was that too much to ask? I'm ashamed to call you my son." John sneered at him as his image shimmered in front of Dean. His dark, hooded features glared at Dean in disgust.

"Dad?" Dean whispered hoarsely. "I tried Dad..." he sobbed. "I tried so hard..." he continued dropping to his knees in front of his father's wavering form. His body shook with each bone wracking sob as he tilted his head up and let the cold, angry rain beat un-relentlessly on his face. There was no reason for him to go on; his entire purpose had been pulled away from him once again. This was his punishment; it had to be for what he had done so long ago. Let him have the joy and hope; then rip it from him taking his very soul with it.

"You're useless, should never have taken you in." the male voice yelled at him with utter contempt. Dean tried to shut his mind down but the images kept invading his thoughts condemning him, accusing him, making him feel absolutely defeated and worthless and guilty.

The rain seemed to slow down to where he could see each individual drop as he gave up. He looked toward a smashed car and saw the ragged sharp edges of steel showing him his way out. His legs wouldn't support him so he crawled toward the solution. He threw up a wall so strong even his little brother wouldn't be able to see or feel what he was doing. Pulling himself partly up, Dean grabbed the long, sharp sliver of metal that looked so much like a knife, cutting his hand in the process, but he didn't even feel it. The cold, hard metal ran red for a moment as blood dripped down it only to be washed away by the rain. Closing his eyes and steeling himself, Dean stabbed the make shift knife into his stomach surprised that he felt no pain. Maybe it was because his body was so numb from the storm or it could be Dean had no feelings left. With one final gasp, he wavered for a moment before falling over and sliding into unconsciousness. Blood mixed with the rain as it ran from his body into the mud beside him to be washed away. His last thought was of his little brother and his unwavering, dimpled smile.

spn

"Dean! Son! Answer me!" Bobby yelled as he worked his way through the maze of wrecked cars searching for his adopted son. He had a very bad feeling as he walked faster looking around each corner and into wrecks as he passed them. "Damn it Dean where are you?" he muttered starting to feel helpless. He knew Dean could vanish into the world and disappear with the blink of an eye. If he didn't want to be found, he could remain hidden as long as he wanted.

Thirty minutes had passed since Dean had blindly run from the house into the junkyard. Bobby turned a corner and saw something lying in the mud halfway down the next row. "Dean?" Bobby called to him as he hurried to his side. He turned the lifeless body onto his back and saw the sliver of metal sticking out from his stomach. "Oh god son what did you do?" Bobby whispered in dismay as he quickly pressed two fingers to his throat searching for a pulse. Dean was ice cold to the touch as he search frantically for some sign of life. "Don't you give up on me kid! Don't!" Bobby hissed at him finally feeling a faint erratic beat. He jerked his cell from his pocket and dialed 911 while trying to spread the poncho over part of Dean's body. He didn't want to move him for fear of injuring him worse. After requesting an ambulance, Bobby took his knife and cut the bottom of his shirt off and cut it into. He wrapped Dean's hand, tying it tight to stop the bleeding and pressed the other to the wound trying to stem the blood leaking sluggishly from around the piece of metal. "Hurry damnit, hurry." he mumbled listening for the siren. "You listen to me boy!" he growled into his ear. "Don't you dare die on me you understand? You hang in there!" Bobby yelled hoping to get through to him.

spn

The paramedics heard the shots in the maze of cars and the shout of a male voice guiding them into it and to the victim. They carried the gurney through the stacks of cars and mud as fast as they could move.

"Over here hurry." Bobby called waving them to him. "He's been stabbed. The metal is still in him." he explained as the paramedics bent down to look Dean over.

"Get his vitals." the senior medic said. "I'll get a line into him."

One medic wrapped a cuff around Dean's arm and placed pads on his chest. The other got an IV line going and started a bag of ringers wide open. He checked the wound and began to pack gauze around it to stabilize the piece of metal so he could be transported without causing further injury. They watched the erratic, jumping beat of his heart on the monitor before putting an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth.

"BP's so low it's barely registering and his respiration is shallow, the blood loss is minimum, but he may have internal bleeding. He's going into hyperthermia from being exposed to the elements."

"We need to get him to the hospital now or we're going to lose him." the older paramedic said getting Dean ready to be put on the gurney.

The medics got him onto the gurney and quickly headed for the ambulance with Bobby on their heels. They loaded Dean into the back and the younger one draped blankets over Dean's body to try to slowly start warming him up.

"I'll follow you to the ER." Bobby told them as he headed into the house for his keys and to lock up. He threw himself into his truck and raced off behind the ambulance toward Sioux Falls General Hospital praying Dean would be alright. From what the paramedics were saying, Dean was in bad shape and it was going to be touch and go. Bobby stepped harder on the gas pedal wanting to get to the hospital to be with him. If he didn't make it, he didn't want him to be alone. Bobby said a silent prayer to anyone who would listen to save his boy.

"We've lost him! How much farther?" the paramedic yelled to his partner as he started working on Dean.

"Come on kid, you gotta fight!" he growled to Dean as he charged the defibrillator and started CPR. "Drive faster!"