Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any affiliates of Masashi Kishimoto. I do however own Turan and any other characters I create. But I still don't have any money while Kishimoto-sensei has a lot. Oh well.

Chapter XXXVII: No

Turan could hear the sound of something. It sounded like something melting, or crumbling. He could also smell something…burning. BURNING!?!? Turan jumped up and saw Itô Sôda with an incense. "Katai-senin, what's that?" He turned his head and licked his thumb. "I just use this to calm down." He squeezed his thumb on it and the flame went out. Turan rose an eyebrow. Was that what I think it was?

Sôda got up and went into the bathroom. Turan sighed. He then heard running water. Oh yeah, none of us have taken a shower in days… He figured he might as well take one once Sôda's done, so he took his shirt off. He looked around the large room, his mind wandering around thinking about what had happened to him in the past few months.

He heard something groaning behind him and he turned to look. Netami was awake, and keeping herself up with her elbows. She turned and saw Turan. "Ohayou gozimaisu Turan-kun."

Turan smiled. "Ohayou Netami-chan."

Netami gasped. "Did you just call me Netami-chan?"

Turan rose an eyebrow. "Of course. Remember? Last night?"

Netami's eyes opened wide. "You mean that actually happened?"

Turan nodded. "Uh-huh."

"It wasn't a dream?"

"Uh-huh."

"YAY!!!" She jumped up and wrapped her arms around Turan from behind. He reached back and patted her shoulder then kept his hand there. "So, Turan-kun, what should we do?"

Turan sighed. "I'm waiting for katai-senin to get out of the bathroom so I can take a shower."

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Fudoutaku and Uma walked through the streets. He saw a building and walked in. Uma sighed. "Sure Fudoutaku-sama, more women… If you love sticking you damn dick in their asses so much, let me have a future of my own and have them follow you!"

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Sôda walked out of the bathroom dressed in his usual garments and Turan ran in. He locked the door and stripped down naked. He got in the shower and the warm water felt so good on his achy bones.

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After Turan had finished, and then Netami, all dressed, they continued their search for Fudoutaku. As they walked, Turan grabbed Netami's hand and Netami blushed. Itô Sôda stopped in front of a building and the two teens looked at the sign. "XXX BAR!?!? Itô Sôda-sama, why are we here!?"

"This is likely where Fudoutaku could be. I'll go in and check."

"In the meantime you're gonna get your weasel greased…" Turan mumbled.

"SHUT-UP TURAN!!!" Itô Sôda frowned and walked in. Turan and Netami looked at each other. They sighed, turned around and went to a souvenir shop. "Hey Netami, Shikamizu'd like this." Netami looked. It was a statue of a deer sitting on a rubber raft floating on a lake. She laughed yeah. They grabbed it and put it in a basket. They went around getting souvenirs for all their friends. They paid and went back outside. Netami put the bag in her backpack and they laughed. The whole time, their hands held. They went to a bench and sat down, waiting for Itô Sôda. While they waited, Turan put his arm around Netami and she rested her head on his shoulder. Turan looked up. I've finally found someone who I'd do anything to protect. Even if it meant killing others. All that matters is her…

Sôda walked back out of the building and dusted his shirt off. "Man, you can't take one step in there without being asked, "Which room would you like?". Dammit." Turan and Netami ran over to him. "So katai-senin, got any info?" "Yes. Fudoutaku was here just an hour ago."

"Didja get laid?"

"NOOOOOOO!!!"

"You are gay…Just as I suspected when I met you…Hade-senin…"

Sôda's eye twitched. "DAMMIT TURAN!!! THAT DOES IT!!! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!" Itô Sôda did several hand seals, and then vanished. Turan and Netami opened their eyes wide.

"Katai-senin? Katai-senin? Okay good trick, come out now."

………………………………...

"This isn't funny! Katai-senin, please come back!"

………………………………...

"Oh fuck…Netami-chan…I think I just lost Konoha's only hope of finding a Nanadaime…"

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Itô Sôda sat on a branch in a tree miles away from the town. "That Turan. I can only take so much. I have a limit. And he exceeded it…"

Ruiten appeared on the branch next to him. "Is that it Sôda? You're just going to leave them and abandon Konoha?"

"Hai. If the future of the village is that boy, then I just don't care."

"He was just joking."

"Yes but… I can only take so much."

"Think about it. He's thirteen, you're forty. There's a thirty-seven year gap, you should be much more mature, and able to handle his immature personality."

"……True…but…"

"He's a lot like you were in those days…"

"…"

"You used to call sensei such awful things, that we thought were funny. Gay, hermaphrodite, bi, perv, man-whore, scrotum-sucker, a-"

"I get it…" Sôda sighed. He's right. I was cruel to sensei just to be funny. I guess… Sôda stood up. "I'll go find Turan…"

"Good. After all…If Konoha wasn't around, Ranmyakugakure would be revealed…"

"Yes… By the way, I have a question Ruiten."

"What?"

"After the war, the Light country ninjas just vanished. Where'd they go?"

"Back to the village."

"Hm…That seems kind of sudden… You'd think they'd at least thank Konoha for helping them defeat Sasuke…"

"Yes."

"Where are you going?"

"To investigate it."

"Then I guess we won't see each other for quite some time."

"Right. Sayonara. Itô Sôda-san."

"Sayonara Ruiten-san."

With that goodbye, the two jumped opposite ways. As Ruiten jumped away, he frowned. "Sayonara Itô Sôda-san… For we shall never see each other again…"

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Turan stood smacking his head against a tree. "Turan-kun…" Netami mumbled.

"What Netami-chan? I doomed Konoha. Without katai-senin, we can't find a Nanadaime."

"Turan-kun…"

Turan sighed. "I could never show my face in Konoha again…"

"Turan-kun…"

She began to walk towards him. "I'm a failure…" Turan said as he lost all facial expression. Netami grabbed his shoulders, turned him around and hugged him. Turan opened his eyes and looked down. "Netami-chan?" She looked to his face. "Turan-kun, how many times do I have to tell you? You're not a failure. If anyone's a failure, it's me. I haven't done anything great so far, and I'm weak…"

"No Netami-chan. You're strong. You almost beat me once. Besides, if you were a failure, you wouldn't be alone. From what my dad says, he was called a failure by everyone as a child. But, you're not. And you never could be." As Turan said that, Netami hugged him tighter, and her eyes opened wide as his lips met hers. She had always dreamed of this moment, thinking it wouldn't come, but it had. Turan was a little unsure if he should have done that, but he went with gut instinct. He put his arms around her, and tapped her bottom lip with his tongue asking for entrance. Netami was surprised, but realized what that meant and opened her mouth. His tongue entered her mouth and started exploring every inch of it. Netami still shocked by the kiss at all closed her eyes and just embraced the moment. Turan gently held her up and was very gentle with the kiss. There wasn't lustful grabbing. Just passionate kissing. She finally got her bearings and began to check his mouth out. It oddly tasted like shrimp ramen… After they had explored each others mouths, their tongues began wrestling. Turan pulled away and for a moment Netami frowned but then smiled. "I finally got the kiss I wanted Turan-kun." Turan pulled her in for a hug and said, "Thanks Netami-chan. I can see clearly now…"

As they pulled away they held hands and began to walk back to the city. As they got to the city entrance, they heard someone behind them. They looked and their eyes opened wide. Behind them were two men in black cloaks with red stars on them and samurai hats. One of them was much taller than the other, and had a mask that covered his face except for the right eye. "Hello. Turan-kun."

Turan shivered. Hakumei! He knew he should run but his legs were froze. The shorter one took of his hat and had blonde hair that covered the left side of his face, and a pony-tail on the top of his head. His eyes were green, and he had a devilish smile.

"Who the hell are you!?" Turan demanded.

He laughed. "I'm Nendo."

Turan was frozen with fear.

Nendo looked to the one standing next to him. "Furui, introduce yourself."

"I told you Nendo…Stop calling me Furui…I'm not that old…"

"Yes you are! You're at least sixty years old!"

"Whatever. I'm Gumo."

Turan managed to take a step back. Gumo smiled behind his mask. "When we capture you, we're not only going to take you to the Hakumei base, but we'll make you buy us chocolate parfaits!"

Turan grimaced. "I'd rather rot in hell!" He did a hand seal and exclaimed, "Sumiyaka no Jutsu! Speed jutsu!" He grabbed Netami's wrist and they both vanished.

Nendo frowned. "Well that didn't work."

Gumo shook his head. "Besides, had we gotten him, imagine what Hagetaka would do to us."

"I don't give a damn about Hagetaka! I'll kill him! My father wanted to kill his father, so I shall accomplish his dream a generation later!"

"Hm… Right. Let's go see how Leader and Shokita are doing with their jinchuuriki. After all, they said to meet at the base soon."

"Hai…Gumo no Dana…"

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Turan and Netami stood on a roof, with Turan heavily panting. "Turan-kun, what happened?"

"Turan, I'm gone for five minutes and this happens?" Turan and Netami looked up and saw Itô Sôda on a tree branch that was held over the building. "Katai-senin!" "Itô Sôda-sama!" The two said in unison. "Alright guys, I think I found where Fudoutaku is."

"Good, because the sun's going down." Turan added.

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Fudoutaku sat in a bar with Uma next to him. She had a bowl of cheese curds. "Dammit… If I had known you would've turned out like this, instead of letting you save me, I'd rather have walked into that bright light at the end of the tunnel without a second thought…"

Fudoutaku took another sip of sake. "Woo! Man I love sake." Uma sighed. "Damn the life debt…"

Outside, Turan, Itô Sôda and Netami walked on the path. "Well that didn't work…" Turan mumbled.

"Nope. We just got attacked by boars…" Itô Sôda complained.

"I didn't even know there were boars in this town…"

They saw a sign that read "All-U-Can-Eat!"

"Let's go in."

The trio walked in and Itô Sôda's eyes opened wide. "FUDOUTAKU!!!"

Fudoutaku looked up and saw Itô-Sôda. "Hade-senin!"

Itô Sôda had a blood vessel pop up on his head. He charged at Fudoutaku and punched him in the face.

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They all sat at the booth, Fudoutaku and Uma on one side, Turan, Netami and Itô Sôda on the other. "Sorry Sôda, I couldn't resist."

"It's okay Fudoutaku, I get that from this kid."

Fudoutaku looked at Turan. "You look a lot like Naruto-sensei."

"That's because I'm his son."

"OH! So, did Naruto-sensei settle down with Sakura?"

Turan rose an eyebrow. "No! My mom's Hinata."

"Oh, so Naruto-sensei finally found out about Hinata's feelings?"

"Why are you asking me? I wasn't alive until four years later. And even then all I could do was cry and soil myself."

Fudoutaku and Uma stared at Turan with an odd look, one that said, "What the fuck?"

"So Sôda, what brings you here?"

"Well Fudoutaku, I'm actually here on important business."

"And that would be?"

"I'll cut right to the chase, I hate beating around the bush. It has been the decision of the Emergency Committee that you become the next Hokage of Konohagakure."

Uma and Fudoutaku opened their eyes wide. "Fudoutaku-sama!" She shouted with joy.

Fudoutaku looked up. "Hm…Hokage…Too much trouble if ya ask me. Ya sit around for all of your youth doing old person things, then when you're old, you watch the young to youthful things and wish you could be them, then you die. Just like Shodai did, and Nidaime, oh, and Sarutobi and Minato died for the village. Tsunade hasn't died yet, but she's old and look at her. She makes herself look young because of her vanity."

Itô Sôda sighed. "I guess you want to add Naruto to that list. After all, he died in a similar way to Sandaime."

Fudoutaku's eye twitched. So O Toyo wasn't lying. "That's exactly what mean. I'm not gonna waste my life. No thanks. Take your offer somewhere else."

Sôda frowned. "Fudoutaku, you're the best candidate! Not only were you trained by the previous Hokage, but you're the most powerful living ninja from Konoha! During that invasion from the Grass country when we accidentally lost their trade, you led an entire army of about 1,000 shinobi. You single-handedly defeated their leader, worked well with any of your teammates, and even ensured that no one died!"

Turan's eyes opened wide. Is this guy really that good?

Fudoutaku sighed. "I guess I do owe that to Naruto-sensei, but either way, no. Now stop bugging me so I can enjoy my sake in peace. Being a Hokage is a foolish thing. They all die in vain."

Turan grimaced. "That does it! Rasengan!" He made a Rasengan and slammed it into Fudoutaku's chest, sending him far back. He flew across the buffet and through the wall. Fudoutaku got up and dusted himself off. "So boy, you too know the Rasengan. That means that in total, six people on earth have known how to use it, but now only four remain. Interesting."

Turan jumped through the hole and entered a fighting stance. "I'm gonna pummel you until you apologize for what you said about Hokage!"

"Whatever kid, but I won't need to use my arms or legs to defeat you. I'll just use them to run."

"Your handicap!" Turan shouted as he charged at him. Turan threw a punch and Fudoutaku dodged. They went on with Turan throwing punches and Fudoutaku dodging for a few seconds. "My, if I got hit with one of these punches it might tickle." Turan grimaced. "SHUT-UP TEMEE!!!" Turan jabbed him in the gut and then side kicked him. Fudoutaku got up and cracked his neck. "Ow." Turan grimaced and charged at him. He jumped in the air and shouted, "Dainamikkū Entorī! Dynamic Entry!" He flew at Fudoutaku and impacted his face. However, Fudoutaku caught Turan's foot in his mouth and threw him in the air. Fudoutaku threw a kunai and Turan and did hand seals and exclaimed, "Kunai Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" That single kunai cloned into one thousand, and Turan got tons stabbed into him. Turan began to do hand seals but then Fudoutaku appeared above him and shouted, "Dainamikkū sumasshu!" Turan flew to the ground but then Fudoutaku was there, and head butted him in the gut. Turan flew into the air and then saw Fudoutaku above him. How's he moving so fast? Turan looked down and saw him on the ground as well. Ah-ha! It's a clone. Well then… Before the other Fudoutaku could attack, Turan grabbed its legs and threw it at the other. Fudoutaku looked up. "Dammit!" He dodged, but then Turan was right in front of him and shouted. "Take this! Dainamikkū Sentou!" Turan punched Fudoutaku right in the face, but then it poofed away. "No! It was the clone!" The real Fudoutaku got up then Turan punched him, only to have it vanish. "They were both clones.

Fudoutaku shook his head. "Oh Uzumaki… As soon as you hit me with that Rasengan I made a clone. Then I made another."

"But you hit me with your hand!"

"That was my clones. They don't count, because I said, that "I wouldn't need my arms or legs.". So, I haven't even hit you."

Turan grimaced and made a Rasengan. He charged at Fudoutaku and got kneed in the gut. He fell to the ground and coughed up blood. Dammit… I'm not strong enough… I can't beat him. Can't even scratch him…

Turan grimaced at him then collapsed. Netami ran to him. "Turan-kun!" Sôda shook his head. "Now Fudoutaku, all I'm asking is that you become Hokage. It's an honor. Please."

Fudoutaku yawned. "No thanks. Well, bye Sôda." He waved as he and Uma left.

"Dammit."

Well yes, he declined the title of Hokage. (Lots of people doing that. Maybe they don't wanna be called HO-kage, hm?) And lots of actiony shit's comin' your way. Have a good'n. Wait, no, I say G'night everybody.

Yondaime Necrokage

P.S. Review, it will bring you luck, and for those of you who don't, I don't give a flying fuck.