Chas hated this, knowing her son was about to go through one of the worst days of his life, talking about the only thing worse and she couldn't be with him. She had to sit here in this room and wait for her chance to speak. Cain, Debbie, Zak, Lisa and Paddy were all out there and she knew that Aaron was both relieved and terrified in equal parts that they would hear every detail about what had happened to him. Just like she was both relieved and heartbroken that she couldn't be there with him.

The two weeks they had spent away had been the best thing to ever happen to them. For the first couple of days she hadn't been so sure, he had spent them either completely ignoring her or snapping at her over nothing. She put up with it though, proud of herself for never rising to the bait and eventually it seemed to work. It's hard to keep fighting a battle when you're the only one fighting. Something about being in another country, away from all the gossip and looks and well intentioned but misguided comments finally seeped through to him. He relaxed in a way she was sad to realise she had never seen before, he smiled, he laughed, he even joked. He looked lighter than he ever had and it made her own almost unbearable guilt fade slightly. He had let her in, stopped pushing her away so much, she was closer to him now than she had ever been and she was so thankful for that. A week into the holiday and he stood a little straighter, his eyes looked a little less haunted. She knew it was just a brief interlude but it was good to see. Sharing an apartment she knew he'd still had trouble sleeping but in the morning he'd been able to shake it off easier.

It lasted until they got on the plane home. It was like a dark shadow passed over him. She'd tried to joke with him and he'd smiled at her attempts but it had felt forced and strained. She was still glad they'd gone away, he'd needed the break, and so had she. But it only served to highlight just how much pressure he was under and how miserable he really was. They needed this trial to be over.

Once they'd got back it had seemed like a whirlwind of meetings with solicitors and interviews. Aaron had even seen the court appointed psychiatrist but had refused any suggestion that maybe he see someone for his own sake rather than just the court's needs. He had snapped that he wasn't mental when it was brought up and Chas hadn't mentioned it again. She had been called as a witness, along with Moira. The biggest shock had come when John had been called as a witness for the defense, who knew what games Gordon was playing now. Aaron hadn't said much about it, he hadn't said much about anything. Other than to let them know he wanted to take the stand. His solicitor had said he had the option of testifying through a video link but he insisted that he didn't want to do it that way. He said he wanted to look his dad in the eye and show him he wasn't scared of him. Chas knew that wasn't true but nothing they said to him would convince him to change his mind.

So here they were the first day of trial. The car journey had been awful, more than once Chas had had to stop Aaron from picking at his fingernails until they bled. She resorted to holding his hand the rest of the way there and he'd gripped hers back tightly. When they had got to court and been told they had to wait in seperate rooms he had looked terrified. In the end Paddy had offered to stay with him till he was called and it seemed to calm him slightly. It meant that she was alone though.

So she sat and she waited and she tried to breath.

Cain sat in the gallery next to his daughter. Zak and Lisa sat behind them and he knew every single one of them felt as tense as he did, that didn't make him feel any better though.

The solicitors had made there opening statements and the first witness was about to be called. Cain stared at the back of Gordon's head the whole time, willing him to turn round so he could look at him, show him exactly what he thought of him somehow. He didn't though, although he did shift uncomfortably a few times and Cain liked to think it was because he could feel him glaring at him.

He finally shifted his attention when Aaron walked into the room though. The teenager shuffled in, his eyes firmly fixed on the floor as he was led to the witness box. He was sworn in and stood there with his head down while he waited for the questions to begin. There was a small commotion as the door behind where Cain was sitting opened and Paddy stumbled in drawing everyone's attention for a moment, including Aaron's.

Cain took the opportunity to meet his eye and try and show him that they were here for him. Aaron gave a small nod of acknowledgement but his eyes were full of fear.

"The evidence we are about to see is via pre-recorded interview. In which questions were put to Aaron Livesy by police officers. Once it has played the prosecution and the defense will be given the chance to put questions to the witness" the Judge addressed the jury. Aaron glanced up at them all again as she spoke and Cain felt sick. Because Aaron wasn't afraid of Gordon right now, he was afraid of them all hearing this. He considered getting up and leaving, but he couldn't, he needed to know. Aaron needed them to hear it whether he knew it or not.

He felt Debbie reach out and take his hand. She'd already heard it all, she'd been there the day it was recorded. He didn't know whether she was offering comfort or asking for it, but he could feel her shaking. He knew it would be bad, he already knew some of it, but now he wondered whether he would be able to cope with hearing it all. He gripped Debbie's hand tightly back and watched Aaron as the recording began.

He sat there and he listened and he had to remind himself to breath. He heard sniffing from behind him, Lisa at a guess, although it could be anyone, his own eyes were wet with unshed tears. The only thing keeping them from spilling over was the hatred he felt towards the man below him.

He listened to what had happened to Aaron at eight and wanted to rip Gordon's head off. He heard what happened to him at ten and he thought he might be sick. He heard what happened to him at twelve and he wasn't sure how he was still breathing. He heard what happened when he was sixteen and the tears in his eyes finally spilled over. He didn't care if he looked weak. If he'd felt bad for the boy before it was nothing compared to what he felt now, he felt like he was choking.

Cain watched the whole thing, he wouldn't let himself look away, he owed him that much. He did risk the odd glance at Aaron though. With each word spoken he seemed to sink further in on himself. Cain didn't know what to feel anymore, he thought he'd already gone over everything in his head, that he knew how he felt, but this felt like a whole other level of despair and horror.

He didn't know how Aaron was still standing there. What strength it must take to stand there while everyone watched that, including the monster who'd done it to him. Whatever respect he'd had for him before was blown out of the water now.

The recording came to an end and no one spoke at first. There was the odd muffled sob, more than one person sniffing. Cain could swear at least a couple of the jurors looked like they had tears in their eyes. Good.

Aaron kept his head down and Cain could see the tremors coursing through him. The Judge must have seen it too.

"Mr Livesy" she addressed Aaron, "would you like to take a break?" her voice was kind, her eyes soft with compassion. Cain almost felt like the case was won already, who could watch that and think Aaron was lying, he would have to be an amazing actor to pull off something that convincing. Still they had a long few days ahead of them, the defense was bound to have some tricks up their sleeve, no point getting ahead of himself.

Aaron shook his head, so the Judge nodded to the defense to go ahead with their questions.

"You claim Mr Livesy assualted you when you were eight, ten and twelve and tried to again when you were sixteen?" the male barrister began.

"Yeah" Aaron answered, his voice shaking slightly.

"Did you tell anyone what he was doing?"

"No I was just a kid, I thought it was all my fault" he paused glancing down at his hands as if ashamed, "and I was terrified".

"So terrified you immediately ran away?"

"Not the first time, but I did leave in the end, when he tried again, last year".

"Why then? Why not before?"

"Because I didn't think I had anywhere to go" Cain folded his arms tightly across his chest, squeezing his own arms till it hurt.

"What about your mother?"

"I didn't think she wanted me" Aaron quickly swiped away a tear that was running down his cheek.

"But that's who you live with now?"

"Yes"

"What changed?"

"I was wrong about her" Aaron admitted.

"How did you end up living with her?"

Aaron just shrugged.

"Isn't it true that she picked you up from the police station where you had got into trouble with drugs?"

Aaron just shrugged again.

"I need you to answer" the Judge prompted and he glared at her.

"Yes" he snapped.

"Do you take drugs Mr Livesy?"

"No" Aaron looked offended at the suggestion.

"So you were just selling them then?"

"Objection" Aaron's barrister interupted. "Aaron Livesy is not on trial here".

"Withdrawn" the other barrister conceeded, he'd already made his point anyway. "You say you ran away? Isn't it actually the case that your father threw you out?"

"Kind of" Aaron admitted.

"Why did he do that?"

"Because I hit my step mum?"

"So your father, who had always stood by you, who looked after you when your own mum abandoned you finally had enough of your violent, unruly behaviour and asked you to leave after you hit your defenseless step mum?"

"What, that's not how..." Aaron looked confused.

"Isn't it true that you resented your dad for choosing his new daughter and his new wife over you? This is just your way of getting back at him for giving up on you like everyone else did?" the barrister was really goading Aaron now. Cain wanted to leap over the railing and punch him.

"No...I...I don't know" Aaron looked lost and scared.

"Objection" the prosecution stood up glaring at her opponent. "Badgering the witness".

"Sustained" the Judge said, looking a little bit annoyed herself.

"I apologize" he said, looking anything but sorry. "No further questions" he sat down with a slightly smug look on his face.

"I feel like you have said everything you needed to say in the video" Araon's barrister started, smiling at his comfortingly. "And the defense would have us believe that this is all down to some grudge you have against your dad, all because you hate him and are jealous. So my question for you is a simple one but a hard one" she paused and Cain saw the way Aaron took a deep breath preparing himself for what she was about to ask.

She looked at him and then over at Gordon.

"Do you hate your father?" Aaron didn't answer, just kept looking down at his shoes.

"Aaron?" she prompted gently.

"Yes" he said, but it was hard to make out, his voice choked and quiet.

"Because he hurt you?"

"Yeah".

"So this, this court case, it feels good right? You're enjoying this?"

"What? No" Aaron glared at her.

"Why not? If he hurt you and you hate him it must be satisfying to see him here, having to face this/"

"No, I didn't want this. I hate everyone knowing about me, judging me, thinking I'm pathetic".

"Is that all, do you feel anything else?" Cain knew she was just doing her job, that she wanted the jury to see that the defense was wrong about Aaron, that this wasn't some kind of grudge but at the same time he wished she'd shut up. This seemed to be hurting Aaron more than anything else, even worse than having to listen to him describe in detail everything that had happened to him. These were the real scars he bore.

"Guilty" Aaron said and Cain heard Debbie gasp next to him. He looked at her for the first time since Aaron had started speaking and he unfolded his arms so he could reach out and take her hand. She didn't look at him but squeezed it back.

"Why do you feel guilty?"

"Because...because I've let him down. I promised I wouldn't say anything...that I would keep it secret and now he's going to get in trouble because of me..."

"You're worried about getting him in trouble? Don't you think he deserves to pay for what he did?" it almost felt like she was asking for her own curiosity now, like she'd forgotten about the case, caught up in his pain like the rest of them.

"Yeah, yeah I do...it's just...it's so confusing. I don't know what to think, what to feel. I'm just tired of feeling scared and bad all the time" he looked up at her, his eyes bright blue because of the tears spilling from them.

"Just one more question Aaron" she paused as if she wasn't sure before turning away to look at the jury as she asked her final question. "Even after everything, despite all that we've heard, do you still love your father?"

Aaron took a step back, his eyes wide. He looked like she had just slapped him. He didn't say anything but tears ran down his face and dripped off his chin, he wiped at them with his suit jacket but they continued to fall.

"Yes" Aaron sobbed and his legs buckled slightly as he had to grab the bar to stop from collapsing. Sobs wracked his body while everyone watched in stunned silence.