Part 35 -Reconciliation
True to his word, Mr Gardiner arrived at Pemberley at noon. Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley eagerly awaited his arrival in the drawing room, valiantly bearing Miss Bingley's snide comments and complaints about their guests for dinner. Thankfully, the entrance of Mr Gardiner silenced her at once, and after greetings were made the men, excluding Mr Hurst who was having lunch, set off for the river.
They decided upon one of the spots Darcy had pointed out to Mr Gardiner two days before. Before long, Mr Gardiner, Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley were comfortably settled on the bank, talking while waiting for a bite. Unfortunately, the fish did not wish to oblige them - many smaller ones were caught but had to be released - and it was nearly an hour after they had first cast their lines before Bingley drew his back, landing a large trout.
"I wonder if that fine specimen of a fish will grace the table tonight?" asked Mr Gardiner.
Darcy thought about it. "I think it will. My cook could do wonders with it." He turned his attention back to his own line, which stubbornly refused to catch anything.
"That is good to hear," said Mr Gardiner. "I must confess I enjoy a good meal heartily."
Bingley looked up from his catch. "Hurst does as well, though I think he eats more than is healthy for him."
"When you get to my age, young sir, the simple pleasures become very dear," laughed Mr Gardiner. "As long as one eats healthily, a little indulgence won't do any harm."
"Outdoor exercise won't harm a person either. My cousin is of a delicate constitution, and spends much of her time indoors. I believe it would do her a great deal of good if she were to venture out of the house a bit more often, like your niece," said Darcy. "Miss Bennet, I hope was well this morning?" he asked as casually as possible.
Mr Gardiner looked at him with a questioning look. He smiled, as if knowing something Darcy did not know. Bingley by this time, had re-baited his line and cast it out. The splash was unnaturally loud in the silence following Darcy's question.
"In actual fact, I began to worry this morning that she might be coming down with some illness or other. Don't worry," he hastily continued upon seeing Darcy's very concerned look, "she assured me that she was quite well and that she would be keeping tonight's engagement. I only thought so because for the last few days she has been unusually silent and this morning she remarked that she had stayed awake two full hours thinking about - " Mr Gardiner broke off. "I know not what would have kept her awake for so long for she did not tell me."
This did nothing to alleviate Darcy's concern, and he inquired as to when these symptoms had begun.
"Come to think of it, that afternoon when we came upon you while looking at your estate."
This threw Darcy into deep thought. He was certain Elizabeth was not ill, (if she was, he vowed to do everything in his power to help her recover) and somehow knew that, to her, his sudden change in behaviour must have seemed most strange indeed. Add to that the letter he had written to her months ago, and her feelings towards him must be be very confused indeed.
But what did she feel for him? Certainly not hate, was it friendship? More than friendship?
Is it even right for me to wish more from her? thought he. God knows how much I love her, should I ask for more on her part?
He cringed away from the thought, as realistic as it was. Did she only wish for friendship when he felt so much more towards her?
Mr Gardiner let out an exclamation of delight as he reeled in a fish whose size challenged Bingley's catch. Darcy and Bingley congratulated him as it was landed and expressed hopes for more sport.
Darcy's thoughts, however, were no longer on fishing. "When will your wife and niece be coming?" he asked Mr Gardiner.
"I believe they were to visit one of our friends in the village and come here - in fact they should have been at Pemberley quite some time now," finished he glancing at his time-piece.
Darcy had to restrain himself from immediately getting up and heading back to the house. Such an action would only arouse suspicion in people's minds and so it was with some difficulty, he waited.
After a five minutes, he could not fight the desire to see her again.
"I do not think I shall have any luck today," said he getting up. "I will return to the house. Will you join me?"
Mr Gardiner and Mr Bingley glanced at each other. "In a little while perhaps. I am still willing to hope there will be more fish later," said Bingley. Mr Gardiner agreed and so Darcy excused himself and returned to the house.
He found the ladies in the saloon, whose northern aspect rendered it beautiful for the summer. They were eating some fruit and Darcy was glad to see that Georgiana was playing the role of a good hostess.
His eyes immediately searched for Elizabeth. She sat off to one side, far from Georgiana, next to Miss Bingley. Upon his entry, Elizabeth had turned towards him and seemed as if to say something but Miss Bingley had risen and come to talk to him. He soon quickly but politely deflected any attempts to secure him in conversation and made to go and sit in the seat Miss Bingley had vacated but Miss Bingley quickly moved to retake her seat. He chose instead to sit beside Mrs Gardiner.
There was little conversation; Miss Bingley hardly spoke a word (except to himself), Georgiana was shy, Elizabeth uncomfortable and so the bulk of the conversation was carried by Mrs Gardiner and Mrs Annesley. What was more, Darcy soon realised that the suspicions of the entire party were awakened against himself and Elizabeth and so he was unable to even glance at Elizabeth without alerting Miss Bingley or Mrs Hurst.
Not long after his arrival, Mr Gardiner and Mr Bingley returned, the servants carrying another trout as a result of their patience. The fishing equipment were put away, the fish sent to the kitchen and soon with the addition of the two men, the whole party were conversing gaily.
After some time, Mrs Gardiner expressed her desire for some music. She ruefully admitted to being unable to play, a confession which was greeted with haughty smiles by Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst. The former agreed to play a piece, "if Miss Eliza would be so kind as to oblige us with a song?"
Elizabeth, Darcy noticed, was still very deep in thought, and Miss Bingley had to repeat her question another time before Elizabeth agreed.
They all moved into the music room, where Georgiana's new pianoforte stood by the window. Miss Bingley, before she sat down at the instrument, gave Darcy a triumphant smile. He ignored it, merely waiting for her performance to be over.
From his seat near Mr Gardiner, Darcy looked again at Elizabeth. She was talking to Georgiana off to one side, near Mrs Hurst who sat opposite him. Bingley talked quietly to Mrs Gardiner nearer to the piano. Mr Hurst sat next to some food. Georgiana walked towards her brother, leading Elizabeth. Darcy watched in amazement; she did it all so artfully, Elizabeth did not realise that she was drawing closer to Darcy until Georgiana said,
"What would you like to hear Miss Bennet play?"
Elizabeth looked down at him in sudden surprise. Darcy looked up. "Ah - anything you like, Miss Bennet. Is there some favourite of yours, perhaps?"
Before Elizabeth could reply, Miss Bingley began to play, a fast and demanding sonata, thus cutting off any conversation - which might have been her intention.
Miss Bingley played agreeably, but though it was technically brilliant, there was no feeling behind it. Polite applause followed, then fell silent as Georgiana searched through a neat pile of music. She found the music she was looking for and gave it to Elizabeth, giving her brother a sly smile. Miss Bingley sat next to her sister, opposite Darcy.
"Would you not play this?" asked Georgiana softly. Elizabeth replied that she knew the piece very well, but would Georgiana be so kind as to turn the pages for her? Georgiana agreed and stood to Elizabeth's left, allowing herself a full view of the room, and Darcy a full view of Elizabeth. Which might have been her intention.
Elizabeth glanced at Georgiana and then began to play.
The aria, from one of Mozart's operas, was a beautiful piece, and though Elizabeth did not perform it masterly, nevertheless, it touched Darcy's heart. She sang, and everyone else disappeared from the room - only Elizabeth remained. Darcy relaxed and leaned back, vaguely aware of Mr Gardiner looking at him with amusement, and Miss Bingley with worry. But he did not care - all that mattered was the song and the performer. A rare smile of pure contentment lighted up his handsome features.
All too soon, the song drew to a close. He applauded, never taking his eyes off her. He only did so when Mrs Gardiner looked at him curiously.
How much do they suspect - or know?
Georgiana spoke softly to Elizabeth. They continued their quiet conversation while Miss Bingley tried to involve Darcy in hers. He pretended not to hear her but stared out the window at the lake where he had met Elizabeth.
Suddenly, he was aware of some one looking at him. He looked up to see Georgiana and Elizabeth staring at him. He was glad that Georgiana and Elizabeth were getting along like sisters and he wondered what they were saying about him.
Elizabeth moved away from the piano and gestured for Georgiana to play. His sister's look of horro did not dissuade Elizabeth and soon Georgiana was performing. Darcy was delighted, finally, someone had persuaded Georgiana to overcome her shyness.
Elizabeth began to walk in his direction. He feverently hoped that she would dit beside him, but instead Miss Bingley turned to her and said,
"Pray, Miss Eliza, are the militia still quartered at Meryton?"
"No, they are encamped at Brighton for the summer," replied Elizabeth.
"That must be a very great loss to your family."
Darcy was shocked that Miss Bingley would have the audacity to insult his guest.
Elizabeth responded politely, "We are enduring it as best as we can, Miss Bingley."
Miss Bingley, however, was not finished.
"I should have thought one gentleman's absence might have caused particular pain."
In the tense pause that followed, Darcy was torn between his anger at Miss Bingley and his uncertainty of what feelings Elizabeth still harboured for Wickham.
"I can't imagine who you mean," said Elizabeth evasively.
"I understand that certain young ladies found the society of Mr Wickham, curiously agreeable."
At the mention of Wickham, Georgiana looked up sharply and the piece abruptly stopped. Darcy half-rose to go to his sister's aid if need be.
How dare she mention Wickham in my house!
But any drastic action was quickly avoided. Georgiana quickly recovered and began playing again. Elizabeth calmly returned to the instrument saying, "I'm so sorry - I am neglecting you. How can you play with no one to turn the pages?"
Her calm and controlled manner soon dissipated any uncertainties Darcy still harboured in regard for Elizabeth's feelings to Wickham. He restrained himself and settled back in his seat.
His anger at Miss Bingley had not disappeared. The lady in question was looking at him triumphantly. He allowed himself the pleasure of glaring at her. She saw this and quickly averted her gaze.
"There, allow me," said Elizabeth softly to Georgiana. A page was turned.
The piece modulated into a minor key. As it did so, Elizabeth looked at him.
Darcy caught his breath and held her gaze. None of them were willing to break the spell. She smiled at him, and he returned the favour.
What unspoken meanings spanned the distance - so close and yet so far - between them! Love's light-through-eyeball energy raced and flew over the heads of the party, unaware of the silent communication in their midst. What a gift this moment was from the unpredictable hands of Fate that had thrown them together, erected walls between them, built on their pride and prejudice, and only now allowed them this one moment of happiness together.
For that one moment, Darcy made himself completely open to the world. His love and adoration were clearly written on his face. He knew that anyone could tell he was in love.
And he knew that Elizabeth could see it as well.
The visit had ended after dinner. The afternoon's catch had been the focus of the meal. It was Georgiana's first experience at being hostess, and she performed admirably. She had also made the seating arrangements and whether by accident or design, had tactfully put Miss Bingley at the far end of the table and placed Elizabeth to Darcy's immediate right. He had to tell himself time and time again to keep his eyes on his plate and not the lady sitting next to him.
Darcy, Bingley and Georgiana had been the only ones to bid their guests farewell outside. Promises to meet again were made and as the carriage drove away, Bingley escorted Georgiana back indoors. Darcy, however, ventured further outside, watching Elizabeth depart.
Though the night was dark, he somehow knew without using his eyes to confirm it, that Elizabeth had turned back to look at him and smiled.
Georgiana, tired after the day's activities, went to bed, leaving Darcy and Bingley to go to the drawing-room where Miss Bingley and Mr and Mrs Hurst were. No sooner had he poured himself and Bingley a glass of wine, Miss Bingley began her torrent of criticisms.
"How very ill Eliza Bennet looks this morning, Mr. Darcy,'' she cried; "I never in my life saw any one so much altered as she is since the winter. She is grown so brown and coarse! Louisa and I were agreeing that we should not have known her again."
However little Darcy liked such an address, he contented himself with coolly replying that he perceived no other alteration than her being rather tanned - no miraculous consequence of traveling in the summer. He turned to face the fire so as to not let any of his anger show. When Miss Bingley rose from her seat, he took it.
"For my own part," she rejoined, "I must confess that I never could see any beauty in her. Her face is too thin; her complexion has no brilliancy; and her features are not at all handsome. Her nose wants character; there is nothing marked in its lines. Her teeth are tolerable, but not out of the common way. And as for her eyes, which have sometimes been called so fine, I never could perceive any thing extraordinary in them. They have a sharp, shrewish look, which I do not like at all; and in her air altogether, there is a self-sufficiency without fashion which is intolerable."
Though Darcy was somewhat nettled, he was resolutely silent. Bingley, ashamed for his sister, began, "I think - "
"I remember, when we first knew her in Hertfordshire, how amazed we all were to find that she was a reputed beauty," continued Miss Bingley, cutting off her brother, "and I particularly recollect your saying one night, Mr Darcy, after that Meryton Assembly, She a beauty! I should as soon call her mother a wit!'" She laughed heartily with Mrs Hurst at this recollection, then said, "But afterwards she seemed to improve on you. I even believe you thought her rather pretty at one time."
"Yes I did," replied Darcy, who could contain himself no longer, "but that was only when I first knew her." He rose from his seat, drew himself up to his full height and looked at Miss Bingley challengingly.
"For it has been many months since I have considered her as one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance!"
Miss Bingley looked shocked, then shamed, then she hung her head in defeat.
There was little encouragement to continue any activity after that outburst. Mrs Hurst declared herself fatigued and woke her husband to go to bed. Miss Bingley quickly followed suit. Bingley gave his friend an apologetic glance then hurried after his sisters. He could be heard chastising them for their behaviour.
Darcy did not care. This had been one of the best days of his life.
It was getting very late, but sleep could not claim Darcy. He lit a candle, determined to conduct a quick patrol of the house to see that everything had gone well in his absence.
Most of the servants had already retired for the night and so the house was dark. Darcy did not mind, he could see easily enough. Two of his dogs silently accompanied him on his solitary stroll.
Though he thought he was walking aimlessly, he found himself heading for the music room, where that magical moment had occurred.
He placed the candle on the mantle over the fireplace. He sighed and leaned against it. He looked up at the piano.
Unbidden, the image of Elizabeth rose from his memory. He could see her; her beautiful face framed by her dark curls, they way her eyes had sparkled when she smiled at him.
It was very likely that Elizabeth returned his affections. But his modesty prevented him from being sure. Though they were no longer enemies, they were most certainly not lovers. Friends, perhaps.
And there was only one way he could strengthen that friendship.
Confession, apology and forgiveness, his mother had once told him, were the tools friends used to break walls down into bridges. And afterwards, the relationship would be much stronger.
He headed back to bed, determined to see Elizabeth the next morning.
And when he did see her, he would apologise for his past actions.