A/N: Woow I can't believe I'm almost to 40 chapters. And I can't believe people seem so interested in this little creation of mine :-D. I'm glad you're enjoying whats coming from my brain.

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Chapter 37: Bad Decisions

Kouga knew he had to tell Ayame that he couldn't help her anymore. Even he knew that she still carried a torch for him, he wasn't blind. Though she legitimately needed help, which he could provide. Well, he couldn't provide the help anymore, he wouldn't go against the promise he'd made to his mate.

So the next time he was supposed to meet Ayame, he did go to their meeting place by the river. It was a little upstream from the den, and it was a quiet place, quite pretty. He could remember bringing Tamako here for picnics after she'd moved in with him.

Perching himself on a large rock that sat by the river, he looked down into the water, sighing a little. He felt bad for abandoning Ayame when she needed help...but he also didn't want to loose his mate and pups. He couldn't deny to himself he felt flattered that Ayame still flirted with him, and somewhat liked the attention. But, Tamako was his mate, the other half of his soul.

His wait didn't take long, Ayame was always on time. Looking up when he saw the whirlwind of leaves enter the area, the leaves dying down and leaving Ayame standing there.

Ayame had grown up, she was a grown woman, her own woman. And while she still loved Kouga and yearned to be with him, she'd convinced herself it wouldn't happen. Even to be with him once would make her happy.

Looking up at Kouga with a smile spreading across her lips. "Hiya Kouga!" she said cheerfuly.

Cerulean eyes looked towards her frame and nodded to her. "Hi." he said.

Hearing his voice, she could see the look in his eyes. He wasn't his usual self. Pouting slowly and climbing up to sit next to him, leaning forward and looking at his face. "Whats the matter?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I'm fine."

"Bullshit," she said, leaning against her hands a little as they rested on the rock on either side of her thighs. "Somethings wrong."

Chuckling a little at her words, he glanced at her. "Its just that...Tamako found out about me meeting you. She doesn't like it. She's told me to stop..."

The idea of not meeting him made her eyes widen a little and a pout to spread across her lips. "But...but will you listen? Come now Kouga, you can't let your woman boss you around. You're a man after all, aren't you?" she asked, turning her head away, trying to hide the disappointment in her face.

Smiling softly and nodding. "I am a man. But, more importantly, I am a husband and soon to be father. I have to take care of my family, Ayame...and...if my mate is not happy, I must fix that..."

"But...but she can't control you! And thats what she's trying to do. Control you. Be a man, tell her whats going to happen, don't let her boss you around."

Shaking his head and looking forward at the running water beneath them. "Its not that easy. You'll understand when you're mated...but...but its not just about me. Its about three separate people. Myself, Tamako, and our pup. No, she cannot control me, but I still need to make decisions based on hers. We work together, thats how a relationship works, Ayame. Its not one person versus another...its one person and another. Theres compromise."

"And just what has she compromised for you?" Ayame snapped, glaring at him. "I hear she has her half dog demon father living in that den with you. And she's got you running around like a wolf on a leash."

A growl came from Kouga's lips, looking at her. "She moved from her family to be with me. She's carrying pups, my pups. She gave up her body to give me pups. She gave up her whole way of life she'd been raised. Its a compromise. Don't you ever speak of her like she's useless."

Ayame sighed, sitting up a little and looking at his face. "Kouga...I would have made the perfect mate for you...don't you see that? I was raised in the wolf demon tradition...I was raised to be your wife."

"Stop speaking like that! You are not my mate, and you cannot be. I've claimed Tamako, and she's claimed me. To even consider mating another woman..." he said, shaking his head. "She could kill you, and she would have every right for it. And then she'd probably kill me too."

Pouting and looking away from him at his words. Could she not talk Kouga out of abandoning her?

"You're supposed to be family..." she muttered slowly, crossing her arms across her chest.

"My first responsibility is to my own family, my mate, my pups, Ayame. Please...understand." he said, looking at her slowly.

But, she didn't. Looking up at him when he said that, chewing on her bottom lip a little. She wondered for a minute if she could get him to listen to her finally. She wondered what she should do.

Taking in a breath, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his in a soft but firm kiss, her eyes drifting close, hoping he didn't say anything.

When her lips were against his, his eyes widened a little, sitting still. He hadn't expected that, and frankly he was a bit in shock. He hadn't kissed anyone other than Tamako in a long, long time, and Ayame's lips felt almost strange against his.

Of course, she took his hesitation as an invitation. Moving up and sitting on his lap, straddling his waist and leaning into the kiss a little. Her head tilted to one side as she kissed him deeper and harder.

Once he regained himself, he leaned back, looking up at her with wide eyes. "Ayame...stop.." he said slowly.

Moving his hands up to help her off of him, but she took them and let them rest against her hips. "Please don't ask me to do that. I've wanted to kiss you for years...I love you, Kouga...can't you see that?" she asked.

Nodding a little, looking away. "Yes but...but I can't. You know our laws when it comes to mating...I've already made my choice. Till my death I will belong to Tamako...all of me."

"I'm not asking to be mated, Kouga." she said, looking at his face. Bringing her hand to rest on his cheek to bring his face to look at her. "I'm asking for sex. Once. Just one time. Please? I...I've wanted to be with you like that, dreamt of it almost, and I want it so bad it hurts. I want you so bad it hurts."

"But sex will not help with that. It'll only make it worse for you...and for me. Because if I come home smelling like sex, Tamako will kill me."

Thinking for a moment before a mischievous grin moved over her lips. "We're by a spring you know...that would help with that." she suggested. "Besides..you're not exactly saying no here." she said. Leaning to press up against him, pressing her chest close to his and looking into his eyes.

"I am saying no. You're the one insisting on twisting my words."

"No, I am interpreting your actions. Kouga-kun." she said, a soft smile crossing her lips as she leaned in to kiss him slowly again, her arms snaking around his neck slowly and her eyes closing.

He was hesitant, very hesitant. Before he'd rescued Tamako when she was a child, he'd almost been ready to carry through with his promise to marry Ayame. He'd been almost ready to commit to the woman in his lap. But then he'd met Tamako, and something had just clicked inside him. The little girl captivated him from the moment he looked into her golden brown eyes. He'd been drawn to her, and felt the strongest need to protect her with everything he had. And now, that little girl had grown up, into a beautiful woman, who was carrying his pups.

Resting his hands on her hips, gripping them a little before leaning his head back from the kiss. "Ayame.." he said slowly.

She did not answer him. She leaned to start placing kisses along one side of his neck, pressing her body up against his, grinding her hips into his slowly causing a groan to come from his lips.

She kissed from the base of his neck and up to his ear, kissing the lobe of it softly. "You want me too, Kouga-kun. You know you do." she whispered to him.

He did, he knew it. Somewhere in the back of his mind he did. But...he couldn't give up just like that. A whine came from his lips when he felt her press close to him. "I...I-no. No. Stop Ayame..."

Sighing as she looked up at him. "You don't want me to. Just...just go with the flow, Kouga. Please. Let me have you once..." she whispered. Leaning up and brushing her lips against his, slowly bringing him into a full kiss again.

This time, he didn't stop her. Instead, he stood up, scooping her up with him with his hands on her thighs, standing on the rock. Leaping gently down to the grass of the land by the water before walking towards the spring she'd mentioned before. Maybe just once wouldn't hurt anything. Nobody would know, he thought.

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And, just that quick he became guilty of what he'd been accused of. He almost couldn't believe himself after it'd happened. It hadn't even felt like himself, it almost felt like he was watching himself.

So, he'd gone out hunting right afterwards. Thats usually what he was supposed to be doing. And he'd gotten back a little late. By the time he got back to the den the sun was starting to set. He didn't really catch anything, it was more of an excuse to go running. And he'd just tell everyone he thought he sensed something amiss while out hunting.

Walking up to the den, stretching his arms above his head a little bit as he walked forward. Something seemed strange in the den, a few people were crowded around the area that led to the hallway to his and Tamako's room. People didn't even seem to have started dinner, a few of the women were missing.

"Whats goin' on?" he asked once he walked up to the few guys that were standing there. Ginta was actually one of them.

Ginta looked up at his friend and blinked. "Oh! Kouga! Finally you're back!"

Kouga blinked, nodding. "Yeah I am. Whats going on?"

"Tamako sorta went into labor I think..." Ginta told him.

The news made Kouga's eyes widen. "W-W-What?" he asked. Tamako was only five and a half months old, almost six months. She wasn't due for another three or so months. Pushing through everyone and into the hallway, he walked towards his and Tamako's bedroom door. If she'd had their pup when he'd been out with Ayame, he'd never forgive himself.

When he came up to the door, he saw two women standing outside of it with Inuyasha. Walking up to them, looking at them curiously. "Is she okay? Is the pup okay? What happened?" he asked.

Inuyasha shot a look to Kouga, a low growl in his throat before he turned to just walk into the room, not even saying two words to him.

One of the women sighed, shaking her head. "He's frazzled. Its understandable though..." she said.

The other woman nodded, looking up at Kouga slowly. "It is fine. She's asleep. It was false labor. Scared both her and her father is all." she said.

"So...she's okay?" Kouga asked, letting out a breath. He felt like he nearly had a heart attack when Ginta told him that Tamako went in labor.

Both of the women nodded, and one added. "Yes, she's fine. Her water never broke, and the contractions stopped. She's inside asleep. I really suggest she stay relatively stress-free for the rest of her term. I mean with her mother passing away, the whole thing with Ayame yesterday and everything. I'm going to suggest she rest for at least a few days."

Kouga nodded. "I'll see to it that she gets all the rest she needs." he said. Looking up at the door slowly. "Can I...can I go see her?" he asked.

Both women nodded a little and moved to step out of the way of the door.

Once they moved, Kouga walked up to the door, opening it quietly and stepping inside. Closing it behind him before looking towards the bed, letting out a breath as he saw her form laying there.

Tamako laid on their bed on one side, curled up into a ball, fast asleep. She actually looked semi peaceful laying there asleep on their bed. One of her hands laid underneath her pillow, and her other arm laid across her stomach on the outside of the sheets.

He smiled a little, moving to step to the bed, but Inuyasha stopped him, stepping in-between him and Tamako.

Kouga looked up at Inuyasha. "Come on, step out of the way. I'm not fighting with you while she's sleeping right there."

"Nor I intend to fight with you. I just wonder where the hell you were. She needed you. Look, for her sake, I will not argue with you. Apparently its important to her that we get along. But I will tell you, so help me, if you hurt her, I will kill you with no hesitation." Inuyasha warned with a growl. "And I will not leave my daughters side right now."

Kouga nodded a little. "I intend on being here. Don't you worry about that." he said. And he told the truth...he would stay by his mates side. He already felt entirely too guilty about cheating on her, and she could have had their pup in that time.

Turning from the hanyou, Kouga moved to the bed. Kneeling down to crawl up, laying on his side behind Tamako slowly. Bringing his arms around her waist and holding her against his chest. Leaning and kissing the back of her shoulder, his eyes closing. Moving his hand to rub up and down her arm slowly, breathing in deeply, taking in her scent.

Her ears twitched a little when she felt Kouga slide into the bed. Feeling his fingers on her arm and his kiss on her shoulder, her eyes opened just halfway, glancing back at him a little, smiling just a bit. "Hey..." she whispered sleepily.

"Hey." he whispered back with a smile. Leaning and kissing the back of her jawline where her ear would have been if she were human.

"You're finally home..." she said softly, letting her eyes close again, but still awake. She was really tired.

Nodding slowly as he rubbed her arm. "Yeah I am. And I'm not going anywhere, I swear. I'll be right here. I'll be a regular pain in your ass."

It made her giggle a little, shifting to cuddle back into him. "Mm...good." she said slowly.

Her giggle made him smile and nod. "Rest, babe. They told me you need rest and to stay stress free. So, no more stress, and lots of rest." he said. Letting her cuddle back against his chest.

She felt the armor still on his chest and she pouted. "Armor, off." she told him.

Nodding, he untangled himself from her and sat up. Reaching to unhook his chest plate and pull it off to show his muscled chest. Resting it by the bed on the floor before he leaned back to re-tangle himself in her arms. Hugging her softly against his chest, resting one hand on her stomach lightly.

Her hand moved to rest overtop of his, opening her eyes just slightly, looking down at his hand on her stomach. "Think of any names yet?" she asked quietly. It was customary in the Feudal Era for the male to name the children.

"Not yet..." he said, looking down at the hand on her stomach a little. "Any ideas?" he asked, trying to remain calm. In his brain, he was yelling at himself for not being there, for being with Ayame like he had been.

Shrugging a bit, she sighed and cuddled into his back. "Mm, I dunno...you gotta think up that part." she said in a yawn.

And with that, she fell asleep again cuddled in his arms. Noticing she was asleep, he smiled a little as he held her. He just really hoped she didn't find out why he wasn't there that afternoon. That would definitely stress her out.

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