Heaven is a Place on Earth
When I feel alone
I reach for you
And you bring me home
When I'm lost at sea
I hear your voice
And it carries me
In this world we're just beginning
To understand the miracle of living
Baby I was afraid before
But I'm not afraid anymore
Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
They say in heaven love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
- Belinda Carlisle, Heaven is a Place on Earth, watch?v=05V4CgSL0lw
Jack stared in disbelief at the rows and rows of tables, each filled with a double row of neatly labeled presents. At the far end of the room, yeti – who had volunteered for the project, as they were bigger than the baby teeth and the Christmas rush was over – were sorting the latest arrivals and labeling them.
Behind him, Tooth giggled. There was a soft buzz of wings and she fluttered forward to push Jack's mouth closed as he continued to stare in dawning horror at the room and its contents.
"Tooth, please tell me I'm hallucinating. Please. For my own sanity, I'm begging you to tell me I'm seeing things and there isn't really a whole room full of...of stuff," Jack said finally.
"Sorry, Jack," Tooth said, not sounding sorry at all. "Guardian, royalty, and the first spirits to get married in a thousand years means everyone wants our attention. In this case, it means gifts. Old tradition for this type of situation – a high-ranking spirit marriage, that is."
Jack floated between the tables, still not sure what to say. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing before turning back to face Tooth, who was watching him, a few of the baby teeth rushing forward from where they'd been hovering around their mother to hover around Jack, cheeping worriedly.
"It just...it feels like they're trying to bribe us or somethin'," he admitted. "I mean, they ignore me for three hundred years, and then all this?" He gestured to the table behind them, hesitating before picking up a small gold and emerald tiara, a golden arch of filigree set with two small amethysts flanking a larger, sparkling emerald. Tiny as it was, it looked like it cost a king's ransom, and he felt like he was going to get in trouble just for being near it, let alone touching it. "Though this'll probably look pretty on you," he admitted, smirking.
Tooth giggled and darted forward, picking up the tiara's silver, sapphire, and diamond partner and plunking it on Jack's head. "Fair's fair," she teased before he could take it off as he made a face, taking the tiara he still held and settling it on her own head. "If I have to wear one, so do you."
He laughed, bowing and accepting the tiara for now. No matter how strange it may have felt to have it on, it was fun to see Tooth enjoying herself. The baby teeth who were fluttering around him darted up to inspect it, chirping and giggling among themselves. It still didn't feel real, that spirits were sending presents to him of equal value to her. "Still not a king," he reminded Tooth, laughing. "So...we're kinda obligated to accept all this stuff, aren't we. To not piss somebody off."
Tooth nodded, looking over the pile of presents with a slightly jaded eye. "If it helps, the head yeti...I think her name's Gerta...muttered something about keeping the presents separated by who actually wishes us well and who's doing it for other reasons."
"Well, that's...surprisingly helpful and nice of them," Jack said in surprise. "How can they tell?"
Tooth shrugged. "I think it's mostly by knowing the spirits that sent the gifts, but it's hard to really tell. She muttered something about it being their present to us."
Which was the truth – none of them really understood how the yeti knew things or did things, just that somehow, they did. It had always seemed somehow impolite to ask.
"But we still have to go through it all," she added, looking over all the gifts again. "Some of them are going to want thank you notes, or some other basic acknowledgment. The tough ones are the ones that want a favor in return. I think the yeti are sending those back unless they trust the giver."
"I sure hope so," Jack said with a grimace. Tooth nodded, matching his grimace as several of the girls winced. There were some spirits that one never should accept a gift from, no matter what the reason they sent it was.
Jack laughed suddenly, spreading his arms and giving a spin. "Well, better get it started then, or we'll be at this until the wedding. We'll make it fun! We only have to do it once, after all. Thank Manny, right?"
"Jack...these are the engagement gifts," Tooth said, her voice a mix of affection, regret, and laughter, the laughter winning when the slack-jawed expression reappeared on Jack's face. "The wedding presents are given after the ceremony."
"I...what?"
Tooth shrugged, running her finger over a music box sitting next to the padded boxes that had held the tiaras. "It's been a long time since anyone got married, so everyone's going a bit overboard. Add in the 'Queen' part and 'Guardians, and, well...Phil tried to talk them out of it, but North didn't really help, so..."
"...I hope you have a lot of storage space," Jack said finally. "My den can't hold half this stuff. This is way beyond overboard."
Tooth shrugged. "You're just as curious as I am about what they sent, admit it," she teased, giving Jack's shoulder a poke.
He smirked back, unrepentant, shoving the worries and uncertainties over the sheer volume of gifts and the reasoning behind them away to look at later. "You know it. Wanna go for it?"
"Try and stop me," she met him grin for grin, pointing to the table by the edge of the room. "Start there?"
"Bring it on."
"Okay, I get that you're the tooth fairy, but gold toothbrushes? Really?
"Still better than the silver ice picks," Tooth replied dryly.
"... touche. And agreed."
"...okay, these might not be a bad idea. Who sent them?"
"Not sure," Tooth replied, eying the cap in her mitten covered hands and wondering just how she was supposed to put it on over her feathers. "Should say on the tag by the box."
"Huh, the snegúrochka. They're sweet girls. Hey look, a coat to match." Jack held it up with a grin, and Tooth shrugged it on happily.
Okay, the girls were so getting an invite.
Jack looked inside the box and poked at the strange tangle of stuff inside. "Hey, Tooth?" he called over to where Tooth was poking at a second music box. She glanced up as Jack held up the box, pulling out what looked like a... "Why would..." Jack glanced at the tag for the sender name, "why would Aphrodite send us a leather ping pong paddle?" he asked.
Tooth clapped both hands over her mouth as Jack gave the paddle a few swings. "I don't get it...it's way too heavy for ping pong. How're you suppose to play with this thing?"
Abandoning the music box for the moment, Tooth fluttered over to look down into the rest of the box. A mass of leather and rubber met her eyes, and she dug through it quickly, feeling a blush rise on her cheeks as she sorted out just what all Aphrodite had sent them.
"Oh, my," she whispered, closing the box quickly as her baby fairies started to crowd around, chirping in curiosity. "I'm not sure you girls are ready for this," she said quietly, glancing over at Jack as he shrugged and laid the paddle down on the table, moving on to the next present obliviously. "I'm not entirely sure Jack's ready for this..." she added, just as quietly. "That's going to be an interesting conversation...take this to my bedroom," she added in an undertone, handing the box off to a group of baby teeth. They giggled between themselves and shot off, the box tipping and tilting between them as they fluttered.
"...a bunch of feathers?" Jack asked incredulously, holding them up. "What is this, a feather duster do-it-yourself kit? Why would Eros send us something like this? ...Tooth, why are you giggling?"
There was more jewelry – and Jack was honestly surprised just how much of it was obviously meant for him, if the coloring was anything to go by, paired off with a piece for Tooth each time – and more things that Jack honestly couldn't put a name to. Weaponry, books, odd little trinkets...most of it seemed fairly useless, but he did take note of a few that had made Tooth particularly happy.
They might have made better time if Jack hadn't kept stopping to dance with the music boxes, sweeping Tooth off her feet. Not that Tooth was going to complain about the impromptu dancing with her fiancee.
At this point, she probably had more dances under her belt than anyone in that Dance Club.
Devika had rushed off at one point with her sisters, coming back with paper and pen, to make notes on who had sent actually thoughtful gifts – like the winter gear from the snow maidens – who had tried to at least send something nice, and who had apparently just dialed it in. They had a separate list for the somewhat insulting gifts – like the rock sugar candy or the space heater.
The baby teeth couldn't seem to decide if they were more insulted by the gift of rock candy to the Tooth Fairy or the space heater to the Spirit of Winter.
Jack opened the box labeled as coming from Cupid cautiously. Yes, they were friends, but the spirit of love had an odd sense of humor at times.
"...ha. Ha," Jack said dryly, hooking the padded handcuffs with one finger and holding them up for Tooth to see.
"Getting a bit kinky down here, I see," Bunny's voice rang over the room, and the twosome turned to see Bunny standing just inside the door, arms crossed and smirking. Jack stuck his tongue out at Bunny and dropped the handcuffs back into the box.
Jack set down the box, scooting it to the side where Tooth grabbed it, sliding it off to her side with a grin and a wink to Bunny.
"So, 'ow's it goin' then?" Bunny asked, striding into the room slowly, taking the time to look at the gifts the girls pointed out to him proudly. "Nice tiara there, Snowflake, by the way."
Jack started in surprise, hand going up to touch the tiara he'd forgotten he was wearing. "Jealous I get to be all prettied up, Cottontail?"
"Yer th' prettiest o' all o' us, Snowflake," Bunny said, fluttering his lashes. Several of the baby teeth chirped, a mixed chorus of agreement and protests, and Bunny held up his hands in surrender. "Yer all pretty too, 'course ya are. So's yer ma."
Jack bit back a snort, knowing better than to draw the baby teeth's ire. "So what's up, Bunnster? Something wrong with the Easter prep?"
"Nah, she's all apples mate," Bunny replied, coming to sit by Tooth and bumping shoulders with her. "Just comin' ta check on yah two and take a break. So, how's it goin' here? Mind a little help?"
Tooth giggled, fluttering up to whisper in Bunny's ear. Jack watched with suspicion as Bunny started laughing, even as he enjoyed the rare sound. "Okay, mind letting me in on the joke?"
"Did he really, Toothie?" Bunny said instead, grinning as he looked at Tooth, pretending to ignore Jack.
"Oh yes. Not a clue what it's all for," she said a touch smugly.
"...you lookin' forward ta teachin' him?"
Tooth gave Jack a very unqueenly, naughty look and giggled. "Oh, most definetly," she answered.
"Should I be afraid? I get the feeling I should be afraid," Jack said, looking between the two. They smirked at him, and he and the baby teeth exchanged looks. "Bad girlfriend!" he exclaimed, pointing at Tooth. "Bad girlfriend, you're not supposed to freak me out!"
Tooth and Bunny were laughing too hard to respond.
A/N: This chapter came out of nowhere. It wasn't on the outline at all. Still...it was fun to write. I just couldn't get some of the scenes out of my head unless I wrote them all out.