Disclaimer: No own InuYasha, or the lyrics I chose.

I am handling Sesshoumaru 'talking' about the past's events by just writing them out as scenes…but he's just telling her about what happened. Yep, when the need arises, even Sesshou can talk. ;) But almost this entire chapter is him telling her everything, from the point he tells her he will on is all just scene recollections and catchup.

His Past, Her Present, Their Future

Chapter 35 - Betrayal

"No, Sesshoumaru!" she cried, her brain registering exactly what was about to happen. She sobbed and clung to his chest as hard as she could.

"I will await you, my love. Worry not," he said softly, his heart breaking slowly. It had been expected, known, but yet the reality of her departure was tearing him apart. He could not let her see this though, and kissed her hard as the glow surrounded her more strongly, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end.

"No! I don't want to go!"

"You must."

"I love you, Sesshou! Please, don't forget me!"

"I could never," he said softly, kissing her tenderly as her form became less corporeal in the dusk's light. "My love will remain until I see you again."

He saw her lips move but he could no longer hear her as she became more ghostly yet, the blinding white light blocking out all other thoughts but to look into her eyes for the last time. His resolve snapped as a tear slid down his face, the first in a century, and he lunged at her, trying anything to anchor her back to him. As he passed through her she disappeared, leaving him collapsed on the roots of the Goshinboku - alone.

Sesshoumaru sat impassively on a branch in the forest that had been given his brother's name, staring into the stars as he had every night for a moon cycle. Damned if he couldn't remember how many months she had stayed with him! So, to be sure, he had arrived every day before dusk to sit in this forest and wait. And hope.

He feared that she would not be returning. What if she had misinterpreted Midoriko's words and would, in fact, be transported directly to her own time? Could he stand several hundred more years without at least looking upon her once more? Yes. He knew without a doubt he could.

So lost in his thoughts was Sesshoumaru that he almost missed the spike of power coming from the south. Almost, but he did not. His hopes collided upon themselves and he dashed through the foliage, catching the faintest scent of her on the breeze. The clean stormy scent that embodied everything about her… her eternal innocence, her life, her joy. When he saw her, his heart caught in her throat.

She was sprawled across Goshinboku's roots, her entire body heaving with her sobs. He approached hesitantly and for the first time in several centuries, Sesshoumaru was afraid. She stiffened suddenly and the howls from her throat ceased, her head raising just slightly. He could hear her heart pounding and wondered at the look on her face. Currently all her features were disguised by her hair that draped around her head in slightly tangled waves.

"My love…" he murmured without realizing it, making her turn to meet his gaze. As she did, he saw all the grief melt away immediately to be replaced with a joy that made his heart sing. At once, she scrambled to her feet to launch herself into his arms. He stiffened slightly before her scent filled him and he wrapped his arm around her. He didn't think his armor was comfortable for her to lay on, but she didn't complain.

"Sesshou! You waited, oh gods you waited!" she sobbed, her face raising to look at him as she stood upon her toes to touch his face. He allowed a small smile to her, just a quirk of his lips, but his eyes shone brightly in the fading light.

"Yes," he said softly, his own hand raising hesitantly to run his fingers across her cheeks and jaw line. Things were not so simple now that she had been there… well, then rather. He was afraid at how she would react.

"What have I changed? I didn't get any new memories, and gods you are still missing your arm! What is this, what's going on, Sesshoumaru?" she exclaimed quickly, not bothering to breathe while speaking.

"Nothing, Kagome. Things are, and always have been, as they should be."

She stiffened in his grasp and took a halting step back, looking up into his eyes disbelievingly. "Excuse me? But… you tried to kill me!"

"Yes."

She shook her head and extracted herself from him fiercely, her eyes shimmering with her tears. "Explain this, Sesshou! I don't understand!"

"It… is complicated," he said, breaking their gaze as he looked at some point over her shoulder.

"No! Don't give me that crap, Sesshoumaru! Tell me now! I need to know!"

He sighed inwardly and stole a glance at the miko… his miko. He held out an barely shaking, clawed hand to her. "I wish to take you somewhere. I will explain it all as we fly," he said quietly.

Kagome looked torn, her eyes frantic as they darted about. Finally, slowly she held her hand out to him again and let him grasp it and pull her to his side, where he immediately formed his youki into his cloud and left the ground.

Sesshoumaru sat at his place on the roots of the Goshinboku for hours, just trying his best to come to grips with the fact that she was gone. His betrothed, the woman he loved, was gone in some vague future. What now? When he finally allowed himself to come out of his daze he simply began walking back, back to the home he knew he could find solace. After the first few steps though, he broke, and his steady pace became a full-out run.

He ran faster and farther than he ever had, tapping into the power that had lain mostly dormant within him. He sprinted, not heeding where his legs took him, his feet hardly touching upon the ground as he flew across the ground. He tried his best to ignore anything beyond his present mindset, the only thought his brain would shine through was the command to run.

And so he ran, escaping his grief as best he could, ignoring all notions of vibrant blue eyes and welcoming smiles. He ran on and on, through the night and into the morning, finally collapsing as afternoon began. He didn't sleep but simply couldn't move; not that it mattered, because he could feel the comforting rush of water to his right, at the back of his head. He had made it to his waterfall.

"Sesshoumaru, this isn't healthy," his mother pleaded quietly.

For months he did not leave the small clearing. Every night he watched as the moon rose and set in a different size than it had been the night before, and every morning as the sun began to lighten the sky he would sleep. It was as if he couldn't bear to watch the sunrise. The cheerful sun was the bane of his very existence in those endless weeks, and its rising seemed to mock everything about the world.

His mother often came to him, as she was the only other who the barrier would allow passage, and would try to talk him into returning home. She had deduced what had happened after finding him there, his eyes unresponsive and dark. The atmosphere was subdued throughout the House of the Moon in loss of their future Lady and the heir's unwillingness to return.

It had been over three moon cycles before he finally responded.

"Sessy, my sweet, she is not dead. You will have her back again someday, and all will be right! You mourn as if you have lost a piece of yourself!"

"But I have, mother," he said quietly, his voice hoarse from disuse.

"But that which is lost can be found, it is not forever vanished. You must continue in your life. Do you think Kagome would have wanted you to feel this way?"

Slowly, his golden eyes locked with her lavender ones and she saw the barest of nods. "You are right, Mother. She would want me to be happy while waiting."

"Then what are you waiting for?" she said, a sparkle in her eye and she stood and held out her hand to her son.

Two centuries passed with little incident, the first ten years being the hardest of his entire life. Sesshoumaru trained his mind and body and was very happy with the results he was achieving. His relationship with his father was still strained, but they had some common ground when one would toss out a comment about the little miko which had so captured everyone's heart.

Sesshoumaru himself was changing. His smiles and laughter were less numerous, though he still did not hesitate to show them. There were simply less things that made him happy enough to. Kagome was still at the back of his mind, even as he forced himself to bed the mindless wenches of the court in her stead. It was not terribly often that he required his release, but all unmated males were party to their instinct and bodily needs.

Unmated. That was Sesshoumaru's biggest and likely only regret. He had wanted so much to be good to her that he had forestalled the culmination of their relationship. He still had to fend off the petty bitches who tried to force themselves not only into his bed but into a more permanent position in his life. He had been forced to kill Yaone within a year of Kagome's departure, since she once again had seen him as fair play. Her tricks and cruel words directed towards his 'absent' beloved had been too much.

In the last several decades a war had been raging between youkai and humans. Rather than fight on the battlefield though, humanity was showing its true colors and stooping to subterfuge and sneaking tactics to destroy many greater youkai. Packs of them, bandits, would raid youkai villages and slaughter its inhabitants. Most were wiped out, but many youkai also fell victim to the brazen trickery. And no matter how many humans were killed, more seemed to come from nowhere to take their place.

Futaridori had been leveled in a fire, destroying the largest populace of inuyoukai in Nippon. Sesshoumaru's family had not been pleased at this. His aunt had been killed in this attack, along with several other more distant family members. A simmering hatred had formed in his heart towards the humans who dared such honorless tactics. It was disgusting. His Kagome was obviously an oddity to her race.

His mother was his only comfort in the long years. Her familiar scent and warm eyes kept him sane, and her words were always quick to remind him of the impending return of her fondly remembered Kagome. It was approaching the half-way point in his wait, two hundred and fifty years, when all hell broke loose.

Mattaki was at a conference in the southern territories, as were his generals and a large portion of his army. Civil unrest was blooming in the Southern Lands with a tribe of panthers who sought to overthrow Gyakusetsu, and his soldiers were needed as a precaution as way to show the felines that the Southern lord had powerful friends.

Sesshoumaru sat in the middle of the empty dojo in deep meditation; it was a habit by now to spend at least an hour each day pushing back his emotions so that he could be more effective when in battle. He had gone with his father to several now since his training had advanced, and he was becoming rather proud of himself.

It was during that time that a familiar tingling awoke the edges of his senses. He frowned and tried to ignore it. Distraction was something he had been dealing fairly well at, and he was becoming increasingly frustrated that he could not contain the need to investigate the annoying tingle. He finally gave up and shook himself slowly from his meditation.

'This is…' he thought, tensing immediately. There was a cloaked aura very close by. He could not decipher whom it was, but he knew that no one who was supposed to be within the House of the Moon would be hiding their presence.

Stalking silently from the dojo he ducked between the shadows in search of the hidden threat. He had to reach his mother since her abilities were much more suited to tracking prey. Abandoning his efforts he sprinted for the westernmost area of its structure.

"Mother!" he called, sprinting down the halls with as much speed as he could muster after a long day of training. Her head popped out of her own study.

"What is it, Sesshoumaru?" she said worriedly, seeing the expression on her practically grown son's face.

Without answering, he simply grabbed her arm and pulled her along with him, quickly navigating the labyrinth of hallways to exit into the courtyard. With hand signals he expressed what was happening and she closed her eyes, feeling outward with her highly developed mental senses.

In many days to come, Sesshoumaru would curse his own inattentiveness. For years it would haunt him, plague his every moment whether awake or dreaming. All his senses were attuned to her, his beautiful mother, the woman who had given him everything in his life. The only warning was her eyes snapping open and going wide at her son, and a scream he was sure she begun before a blinding pain sent him to the ground.

Kaori was assassinated that night, a clean and seemingly instantaneous death with her head severed. Sesshoumaru, as well, was wounded badly; besides the concussion received from the blow to the head he was slashed across the throat. Something must have spooked the killer as he did the job though, because he left without assuring the young Prince's death.

It was only a week before he was healed physically, but the scars upon his heart would last for the rest of his life.

The growl that tore from Sesshoumaru's throat was feral, ground-shaking. He stormed through the palace with completely blood red eyes, servants and nobles alike shrinking as far away from the deadly young lord as they could.

In the past decades, Sesshoumaru had been true to his name. He slaughtered without mercy, without thought, and would happily lick the blood from his claws. Entire villages leveled, servants who did not bow low enough or quickly enough disemboweled on sight. The only smile spotted on his icy face was a wild, sadistic one that came from the complete annihilation of his enemies at any chosen moment.

Even in that moment, as he raged, the snarl that seemed adhered to his finely chiseled face was more emotion than any had seen since the death of his mother and the return of his father too late to save her soul. Now this. Sesshoumaru could not be appeased by any but the blood of her.

Without heed, he slammed open the door to his Father's chamber. Word had reached him as he was in the forests that his father had brought a woman home. Not just any woman - a mortal woman who held his pup within her. There she was, the simpering bitch, hiding behind the broad shoulders of his great and terrible father.

"What do you think you're doing, whelp?" Mattaki growled out, his eyes narrowed.

"How dare you!" Sesshoumaru screamed, throwing a convenient, nearby vase. "This is how you honor Mother's memory? You take this… brainless trinket to bed?"

"You will cease your ranting now, Sesshoumaru, or Gods help me, I will stop you from speaking at all."

"What will you do Father? Kill your own son for some whore? To keep your precious new child safe? Or would you banish me? I sleep here as well Father, and you are not always about. I will kill her the first chance I get! You cannot disgrace my mother in such a fashion!"

"You listen to me, boy. You will not touch Izayoi," Mattaki ground out in a dangerous tone.

"Why, Father? Do you love her? All the centuries you spent with Mother and you repay her by impregnating another within decades of her untimely death?"

"No, son."

"Then give me one good damned reason why I shouldn't kill her now! Give me one reason not to strike you both down where you stand, you bastard!"

Mattaki, keeping eye contact with his son, strode a few steps to his right, and slid open the drawer fastened to the underside of a small table. Still keeping his eyes locked with those of Sesshoumaru, he plucked out his prize and strode to stand not but a foot before him and unblinkingly spoke. "Because this is the pup she carries."

Sesshoumaru saw what he held and time stopped. It was faded, the colors bleeding in strange ways on the sides, but it had held up surprisingly well over its three centuries of life. Spells had obviously been placed upon it to maintain it. The picture was of a young man in a red haori, in human terms no more than twenty, smiling at apparently nothing. His eyes were closed, but Sesshoumaru knew what color they would be. The silver hair and shape of his face made his identity obvious. This boy would be his brother.

A sneer formed again on his lips. "Why should I let her live because of this?"

"Because, son, his name is InuYasha."

Sesshoumaru choked and his eyes once again were gold. He shook his head in disbelief, wide eyed and frantic. Surely not? The boy whom Kagome had loved… her best friend… it all made sense now. Barest glimpses of silver and red as she flipped through the book of amazing portraits. An inuhanyou whom he would hate. A boy who was so important to Kagome's future that he swore he would not kill.

"She lied to me!" he screamed.

"No, pup, she didn't. She was afraid of your reaction to him, she knew it would not sit well with you to know that I moved on after your mother's death."

"Bullshit!" he cried. "She lied to my face! She extracted a promise from me not to kill the little abomination! She knew he was the product of your betrayal but she instead protected him! The bitch!"

He stormed away then, leaving a confused princess and grieving lord in his wake. "Pup, you'll understand her someday. And may the gods help you if you don't in time."

A/N: Just a grammar lesson for all you aspiring writers out there. ;)

GRAMMAR LESSON!:

This is something that has bothers me immensely. Yes, I make typos. Lots of them. I type 70-80 wpm while looking at my hands (stupid Mavis Beacon taught me nothing!), it's expected. Though I re-read to look for words that might not be caught by the spell-check (he instead of she or the, making entirely new words with an errant keystroke, etc) I pride myself on mostly knowing grammar related things and adhering to them when I am fully awake. Like, the proper uses for their, there, and they're. Or two, too, and to. But, even that is something I can overlook in fanfics (mostly, unless the wrong uses are rampant).

Why does it bother me so terribly that practically NO ONE seems to be able to use bear and bare correctly? If I read ONE MORE fanfic in which the author has Miroku saying, "Will you bare my children?" I am going to scream. Why would you want those poor children to be naked? D:

Bear (other than the furry animal) - to tolerate, to carry, to produce

Examples: "Will you bear my child?", "The thoughts were too much to bear.", "I will bear the weight of the backpack."

Bare - lacking clothing or decoration, a minimum of something

Examples: "She bathed her bare body.", "The bare essentials of what was needed.", "The field was bare of vegetation."

Please? Stop making the children naked.