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There was a knock at the door but I didn't move. I just kept lying on my bed and staring out of my window. I was sick of everything. I was sick of wondering how Zara was doing. I was sick of the fact that I couldn't pick up my phone to text or call her. I was sick of hoping that she'd get in touch with me or somehow turn up at my door. Why hadn't she? Was me being a werewolf enough for her to change her mind about me and change how she felt about me? Was it enough for her not to miss me…not to even a little? I prayed that it didn't because I was so hung up on her. I was missing her like crazy and the imprinting was only making everything 10 times worse.

Just then the door creaked open. I didn't turn around though.

Despite the fact that i didn't i still heard quiet footsteps. "Hey…Paul."

Ah Emily.

Damn the guys were smart. They had sent the right person. The gang hadn't stopped trying to get me out of my room for weeks now.

I just kept staring out of my window and at the sky. "Hi…"

Emily walked around my bed until she came into my eye line. She gave me a small smile before setting down one of her Tupperware boxes on my desk. "I made your favourite chic–"

"I'm not hungry," I cut in quickly but my stomach groaned out.

Emily's smile fell a little. "You've been saying that for two weeks now."

I just shrugged.

Emily bit her lip then. She was caught between leaving and staying. She sighed before pulling up a chair next to my bed. "Paul look-"

Straight away I started to shake my head.

Emily didn't stop though. She just sat down and continued. "Listen, you can't keep going on like this."

I didn't move an inch. I just kept lying on my bed. "And why not?" I asked then. "Nothing matters anymore."

Emily was quick to answer "Stop it. That's just not true!"

I sighed again. There was nothing but the feeling of a sucking chest wound where once there was my heart. Plus my body was in pain, worse than I'd ever felt before.Fuck relationships. Fuck imprinting.

Emily started to run her fingers through my hair then. "Oh Paul."

I closed my eyes a little at the feeling.

However Emily soon stopped and suddenly her voice sounded forceful. "Come on Paul! This isn't you. You never taken things lying down."

I just snorted at the irony.

Without warning both Emily's hands were on my shoulders then and she started shaking me.

It was annoying. It was disturbing me. I tried to move away but Emily just kept going.

I sat up then to get away from her hands. I was fed up. "Emily!"

She looked pleased that I was up. "Ah. See that's more like it."

I sighed at her enthusiasm. "Emily. I know you're trying to help but-"

Emily just shook her head. "No, buts."

"Emily just stop. You weren't there!" I suddenly snapped. "You don't know what it was like!"

My words caused Emily to stop talking.

There was silence then and I cringed a little.

Emily didn't look hurt though. She waited until i met her eyes again. "Look. I know I wasn't but-"

I just shook my head. "There are no buts about it. There's nothing I can do. I'm a freak in her eyes." I flinched as I said the word that had haunted me the most.

Emily just sat a little forward then. "Oh come on Paul people have called you way worse things then that."

I thought for a second then. Yeah…that is true. I've been called a lot of things. I shook my head quickly as I tried not to think any more of what Zara had said that day because it hurt like hell. The pain was still too fresh…so was the rejection.

I sighed and looked at Emily seriously. "I've never loved those people though."

Emily's lips parted then. She looked a little shocked. I had feeling that's because she'd never heard me explicitly say how i felt about Zara.

Soon though Emily's determined energy was back with a vengeance. "That's all the more reason to do something about it! I mean you haven't even tried to see her again. You haven't even given it one go."

I got a little touchy and defensive. "Well. Well Zara made it perfectly clear that she never wants to see me again."

However I found myself thinking then. What don't i? Emily's energy was infectious.

Emily noticed that something had changed in me so she quickly stood up. "Seriously. I think after two weeks Zara must have at least digested some of what happened. I'm sure if you tried to explain now, she would be more inclined to listen. I mean It can't get any worse."

I tried to kill the optimism that was creeping up on me but I couldn't "Do… you think?"

Emily just nodded quickly. "Yeah. Plus going to sort out your problems is better than just sitting up here doing nothing. Right?"

I chewed on my lips. "I…guess."

{}

I can't believe I'm doing this.

My chest wound wasn't feeling any better and now I also felt sick as I stood at Zara's front door. My finger was on doorbell. It was ringing.

Suddenly everything came flooding back. Zara going ape shit on me and her calling me a "freak" and "to stay away from her". She'd meant everything she said that day. I tried to breathe through the pain but it wasn't working.

My common sense kicked in. "Dude what the hell, are you doing here?! She totally rejected you. She's not gona want to see you"

My thoughts raced then. Shit. You're right

Suddenly I turned away. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my cut offs and speed walked down the drive way. This was a fucking mistake. I've got to get out of here.

I only got half way down the drive though when…

"Paul?"

Every hair stood on end. I froze.

It's was Alia.

I didn't have a choice. I had to turn around. Shit. Shit. Shit

Alia's forehead was creased.

I sighed as I was forced to walk back towards her. Man she probably thinks I'm weird.

When I finally reached her I tried to act normal. "H..i."

Alia just had on a small smile. "Do you…need something Paul?"

I had no idea what to say. "Eh well," I hesitated. "I…"

Alia just continued to smile as she waited.

I scratched the back of my head as I tried not to think of what the consequences of my next words would be. "Well I was…I came here to talk to Zara," I finally managed to say.

Just then Alia's forehead creased further. She just looked at me. "Erm…."

I shoved my hands back into my pockets. "Is something wrong?"

Alia paused for a second as her eyes squinted. "Don't you know?" She asked curiously.

I just stared at Alia. My breathing caught in my throat. This doesn't sound good. "Know what?"

Alia walked a little forward until she was standing in the doorway. "I thought… she would've told you."

My chest wound was starting to ache. I suddenly felt desperate. I was twisting my hands around in my pockets "Told me what?"

Alia hesitated for a minute. She looked me died in the eyes. It's like she was searching for something. "Well," Alia started, "Well. I thought she would have told you that... "

Alia screwed up her face a little as if she was bracing herself for my reaction.

I found myself leaning forward. Tension was building in the pit of my stomach.

"That well she's…left Paul," Alia finally finished.

All of a sudden my whole world stopped.

I just froze. I couldn't move or say anything. My mouth dropped open and I couldn't breathe.

"I've been worried because Zara hasn't been eating properly and she's been showing signs of clinical depression. Zara wanted to go back to London to stay with her sister. I thought It was a good idea so i let her go," Alia said, almost like she was trying to justify her actions. "I'm surprised you didn't know. She left a week ago."

Suddenly I grabbed my chest. There was a new, burning pain there. It was like a raging fire that was going to burn me up from the, inside out. I was sure that I was having a heart attack. "Left the country?!" I barely breathed out.

Zara's mom just nodded before she started rambling. I couldn't hear anything anymore though. My ears were ringing. It like I was on the wrong radio frequency.

Without so much as a warning, I lost all the feeling in my legs.

Immediately Alia's hands jumped out to stop me from falling to my knees. "Paul. Are you okay?"

I managed to catch myself though and I just about stood up like normal.

Alia just stared at me with her wide eyes and lips parted. She now looked worried and a little shocked.

I was in a daze now. My world was spinning as I just turned to leave.

Alia was calling after me but I didn't stop. All I could hear was white noise. Not in La Push!

I was just walking without a clue where the hell I was going or why I was going there. I was walking nowhere, somewhere. I didn't know. She's gone. My breaths were coming out short and fast. London. All the way across the Atlantic...

I heard a car then. It was rushing down the road. I turned then only to see a Land rover at the top of the hill. It was racing down.

What was the point in anything?

I took a step towards the edge of the not let it hit you?

The land rover continued on its charging course down the road. I just dragged my body along. This won't be anywhere near as painful as the pain I'm in.

I continued to walk forward.

Suddenly someone grabbed me. I was flying backwards towards the sidewalk. I just caught sight of the Land Rover swerving and dodging me.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

That is exactly what i was thinking. How dumb was the driver if he was unable to hit into something that was walking straight into the path of his car.

The screeching of tires cut through the weird haze that I was in.

"DUDE!"

I turned then to see that some random guy was holding onto the back of my t-shirt. He just looked at me like I was crazy. We were both standing on the road.

I heard yelling then. I saw the guy in the land rover park up a little further down the road. He was really close to me. He had his driver seat window rolled down and was shouting at me. He threw in a few hand gestures but I didn't care.

Suddenly I saw Alia charging down her drive and towards me. The white noise was back as I slipped back into the haze. Her lips were moving but I couldn't hear anything as she walked towards me. I just stumbled away when the random guy let me go of my t-shirt. I walked quickly.

I heard him and Alia calling after me but I didn't stop

I don't know how I made it but I was standing outside Sam's place. His house was spinning though. My pain was forcing me to the ground. It was like a stone ball shackled to my feet. I was being weighed down by the pain. I struggled to move forward. I heard voices then as I just about managed to open the front door. I banged into it though as I stumbled inside. The door smacked against the wall and the noise traveled around the house.

The buzz of chatter instantly died.

I was holding onto my chest with both hands as i staggered through the open kitchen door . The room was quiet. Kim, Emily and the guys were all staring at me.

One look seemed to tell Emily everything. She came running forward.

My knees gave way then and i was heading straight for the floor.

I collapsed before she could get to me.

I didn't feel any impact though. Where's the pain? I might as well add on some more on.

I was being lowered onto the floor then. Eh?

Suddenly Embry, Jared and Jacob were leaning over me. They must have caught me.

Emily was kneeling beside me and the guys stood around me.

My insides were twisting.

"Gone. Lon…don," is all i managed to whisper out as my blood pounded in my ears and my head throbbed.

My body was on fire and i started shaking so god damn hard.

Emily shouted something frantically.

It was only a few seconds before Sam was standing over me.

Emily looked as scared as hell. She asked Sam something desperately.

Sam just looked complete lost as he kneeled down beside me. He was just shaking his head and talking.

I was staring up at everyone but I was starting to see double. There were now 12 people. Instead of 6.

Emily's hand was on my body then and she tried to stop my body from shaking. She was facing Sam and I read her lips as she spoke. "Zara's left the country."

A hot shot of pain surged around my body. It was worse when someone else confirmed the fact.

I saw Sam's eyes widened as he looked down at me.

Everything got out of focus then. It was like I was staring through a fogged up piece of glass.

Suddenly everything went black.

Gone.

Sorry if i'm breaking hearts.