What in the World
Chapter 37
"That is at the least, the fifth time in the past hour you have felt it necessary and have chosen to impart that bit of useless information to me Sparrow." James said as he rolled his eyes skyward hoping for some sort of divine intervention before he punched the man standing beside him. "I swear if he says Captain Jack Sparrow I will." James thought to himself clenching his fists. He had been subject to the pirate's extremely annoying company since Sparrow, actually it had been as much Leah as Sparrow's idea for her to go off with some very suspect, in the Commodore's opinion, acquaintances of Sparrow's they had run into as soon as they had stepped foot in this place. She had called back over her shoulder as she walked merrily off with the said couple, "I'll be back before you know it James." leaving him alone with Sparrow. That had been over two hours ago and James patience was being sorely tested.
"My wondrous sense of the human psyche tells me you seem a bit… out of sorts for some reason Commodore. Anything I can do to help?" Jack said, with a ghost of a smile on his face.
James dropped his head and looked intently at the ground in front of him, fists still clenched tightly, as he prayed for the strength not to knock the man flat on his arse. James mumbled something to himself about nothing short of falling off the face of the earth would help, and after a moment of getting himself back under control looked at Sparrow and said tersely, "I hope you are enjoying yourself Captain."
"Always Commodore, especially when I am blessed with your company." Jack said cheerily as he flashed a glinting grin at James and patted him on the back. "Come come Commodore, there are some things over here you really must see." taking the Commodore by the arm and starting to lead him over to one of the booths in the outdoor market they had been walking through.
James removed Sparrow's hand from his arm very ungraciously, and in a very stuffy Commodore-ly tone said, "I am perfectly capable of making my own way Sparrow, I do not need to be led along like a child, nor do I require your assistance in walking, nor do I require the constant bobbing of your face in my face, nor the touching."
Jack almost laughed aloud at that, he just couldn't get over how easy the Commodore was to agitate. Instead he tipped his head to the side, gave a half bow, grandly motioned with a sweeping arm, and said, "After you Commodore."
"No Captain, after you. I insist." James said sourly.
James saw the smile before Jack turned to sashay off towards the booth and once again prayed for the strength not to knock the man out flat, and after a minute or two of deep breathing and finding a modicum of self control, followed.
As James walked up to the booth where Jack was standing and talking to the vendor Jack turned, flashed a smile, leaned a bit backwards, waved a hand around in the air, and said, "Ah Commodore, you made it all on your onesies I see."
"Do not push me Sparrow." And seeing Jack's mouth start to open raised a finger, gave a ferocious glare towards Jack, and said in a gruff tone, "Do not say a word of it."
With a pout Jack shut his mouth, turned back to the booth, and said, "I just remembered I was going to remind you Commodore you are forgetting to remember to do a very important something."
"And just what would that be other than hanging you Captain?"
Jack gave James a look of askance and continued, "I don't think that's a very nice way to talk to the man who saved your life, and introduced you to your dearly intended for that matter."
"I'm at a lose here Captain, you might want to refresh my memory as to just when it was that you saved my life."
"Tavern? One very loud, drunk, and disorderly Commodore? A lot of very very loud, drunk, and disorderly scalawags? Ring a bell Commodore?" Jack said with a fluttering wave of his hands.
"Perhaps Captain, although since you intervened we shall never know for sure what the outcome would have been will we? Ergo you can not use that as a example. I am very skilled with a sword, the results may not have been as you intimate. It would not have been impossible for me to have bested them."
"No not impossible, but highly improbable Commodore I would say, but you keep telling yourself that." Jack said with a grin. "Now Commodore on to business of much more import. May I direct your vacuous nugatory attention span to the booth afore which we are presently standing? I believe there may be a few items laid out in front of you that should, in all reality, spark an interest in that languorously flaccid part of your being you call a mind." Jack said as he made a gesture towards the counter.
James gave Jack a glare and then looked to where the Captain was motioning. James saw numerous pieces of merchandise lying there. Intricate statues and other articles carved out of wood. Silver and gold jewelry, some inset with gems. There were lovely lace scarves, shawls, and various other sundry items.
Still irritated by the very presence of the man standing next to him, James was even yet not thinking clearly, "And I would want any of these for what reason?"
Jack gave an exasperated sigh, "Really Commodore, must I do all your thinking for you? What is it you are forgetting to remember?"
"I think I have answered that question already." James said succinctly.
Shaking his head and looking sadly at the Commodore Jack said, "No wonder you have never gotten yerself a girl Commodore. Have you not even one demonstratively romantic conjugally inclined bone in that body of yours?"
"What in the world are you talking about now Sparrow?" James said exasperated.
Leaning forward in James face and tapping him on the forehead Jack said, "Think Commodore, is there some special happenstance that may, or on second thought given your total lack of thought towards one of the most important ritualistic parts of said happenstance, may not be about to take place."
Seeing the uncomprehending expression on the Commodore's face Jack continued, "Commodore, I know you are the very definition of a ponderously blundering personage, but I wouldn't think even you would be so totally insipidly loutish as to deny your bonny lass and future bride the glorious and hopefully for your sake, one time experience of a wedding present personally hand picked by her beloved, which under the circumstances, would be you Commodore."
Jack saw the comprehension sweep over the Commodore's face then and smiled as he again swept his hand towards the items in front of them, took a step aside, and said, "Choose away Commodore."
To Be Continued
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