My thanks to Boris Yeltsin, Eddy13, CajunBear73, Lostinthought319, Quathis, Bobtrumpet, campy, Jimmy1201, and mckellepstephen for their reviews and to everyone for reading.

Thanks also to everyone who has added this story or author to their favorites or alert lists. I really appreciate it!

Special thanks to campy for looking over this chapter.

KP © Disney.

Chapter 35: All Barkin, No Bite?

I.

"So, what's it like having Ron there?"

"Spankin', Mon," she gushed before pausing and adding, "Except for the dining hall incident."

"Do I even want to know?" the African American asked.

Kim chuckled. "Not so much," she said as she heard a knock. She got up and opened the door to find her grinning boyfriend holding a large take out bag from Bueno Nacho, another one from Sally's Salads, and a book bag slung over one shoulder with Rufus perched on the other. "Hey, Ron," she then added as a quiet aside, "I'm on the phone with Monique."

"Tell Romeo I say hi," Kim's BGF chimed in. "And that Mr. Smarty SDWHBOTP."

"Okay, I know it's been awhile, but what?" Kim replied.

"So desperately wants him back on the payroll," she laughed. "I heard at Club B HQ that since Ron left the margins at the Middleton Smarty Mart have folded like Steel Toe when he's facing Pain King."

"Hey!" Ron said, oblivious to the compliment as his favorite wrestler was dissed.

Kim rolled her eyes. "So, you still like working for Coco Banana?"

"It's da bomb," Monique answered. "And I owe it all to your man."

Kim said warmly as she looked fondly at Ron, who was now desperately eyeing the bags of food. "Look, Mon, I ought to go before my man dies of starvation. It's been great getting the 411. Talk with you soon?"

"You bet, girlfriend. Take care," Monique replied

"Will do. Bye!" Kim ended the call, slipped her phone into her pocket, and gave Ron a peck on the cheek.

"Man, that never gets old," he said, grinning goofily.

"Kisses or Bueno Nacho?" she asked, her eyebrow arched.

Ron chuckled. "The kisses. Though it tanks that I only get to have BN once a week."

Kim playfully poked him in the tummy. "Your football coach and more importantly your GF likes the slimmer you, Naco Boy."

"Guess I can't argue with you," Ron said. "And I sure don't want to argue with Coach Barkin. I'm sure he already thinks I've given him a funny look …"

II.

Ron Stoppable knew he'd hit the proverbial lottery. Despite Steve Barkin's ranting about centers not holding and everything ending, Ron was now in college, not at Middleton Community, struggling to get by on his Smarty Mart paycheck, but on full scholarship at a Leafy League school. Llenrock was all he could ever want, though he could do without the insane amount of work he had to do and then there was the matter of his classes, or more to the point, their instructors …

Ron gulped as Kim looked over his course selection. His girlfriend's opinion mattered to him and he didn't want to disappoint her. She flipped back and forth between his course selection form and the catalog. Finally, she looked up at him.

"Well? Whaddya think?" he asked, fighting down his nervousness.

Kim smiled. "I'm proud of you," she said. "You put some real thought into this."

"Yeah," Ron said, succumbing to a wave of relief. "And not letting the work I've already done at Middleton Community go to waste seemed like a no brainer."

She arched an eyebrow. "Don't know that it will make much diff, Ron. You know, you'll still have to work hard."

"True. But better to start cooking with a pre-made naco in the oven than nothing at all."

"Uh, yeah," she replied, not wholly successful in hiding her skepticism at his choice of imagery. Then, more enthusiastically, she said, "So, Early History of England goes towards your humanities req, Introduction to American Cuisine towards your major, and Latin will help fulfill your language requirement. I'm really impressed that you're also taking Japanese."

"And the freshman seminar with you!" Ron said, pumping his fist. "It's going to rock!"

Kim smiled, but added, "Remember, great minds think for themselves."

Ron returned her smile and said, "Yeah, I know, KP. Don't want any more cape incidents or my rep here will tank."

Kim snorted at the memory of Ron's father during their Senior Year hero essay incident. "I was thinking of anti-matter bubble boy."

"Heh heh. That would slow me down on the field," he acknowledged.

"And with your GF," she added saucily as she wrapped her arms around him, earning an 'eep' from a blushing Ron.

All of that seemed long ago when he went to class that morning. He knew that Reeve Barkin was teaching his first year seminar but Kim's presence more than made up for that. For his other classes, he would be on his own. It was quite a shock then, when he took his seat in English history.

Coach Barkin strode in. "Okay, people, listen up. It seems Professor Plum was done in by a jar of bad Marmite in the kitchen …"

Then when Ron went to Latin the next day, the scene was repeated as Reeve Barkin, this time wearing a Roman centurion's helmet, announced, "Bene autem populus audi!"

Another blow was struck in after lunch in the cooking lab when Barkin arrived wearing an apron and holding a Marine trenching tool. "Due to a freak blender accident, Monsieur Delicieux is out of commission. I'll be your instructor for the rest of the semester …"

Ron was sure he was safe when he entered his Japanese class and took a seat. But then the teacher entered in full samurai garb. Barkin surveyed his gobsmacked students, and then addressed them, "Hai, wa, konichiwa!"

Ron's head hit his desk. "Man, I am so dead."

III.

The GJ technician eyed the just-discovered damaged digital security camera with the beady-eyed attention of an accountant reviewing a client's books at tax time. The device had been found in the giant recovery site in downtown Middleton, the heart of the mystery-enshrouded battle that had ended the threat from Lorwardia. Conceivably, the recording device could provide answers to questions that remained unanswered, but that assumed he'd be able to retrieve any data. Personally, he didn't care. But the field agent wanted answers, the sooner the better.

"How long will it be until you know if you can read this?" the agent demanded.

"Not long," he said. "I just need to plug it in here," he said, gesturing to a large device festooned with diodes and dials, input slots, various ports for data cards and sundry cords, and a large monitor. "If it works, we'll know if it has anything worth watching."

"Then do it," the agent said. "I suspect this might be of utmost importance to global security."

The tech's eyes shot up. "You're joking."

"This is Global Justice," Will Du said evenly. "We do not joke here."

"Yessir," the man said. He attached the camera to the MacGuffinator with a USB cord, typed in some commands, and waited. Then a green light blinked on. "Whaddayou know. We've got something."

Video began playing on the monitor. Will had seen this before: Ron Stoppable in battle with Warhok, somehow holding his own. But in the past, the recording had come to a sudden stop. Now it continued and Will and the technician watched in wonder. Kim Possible's sidekick should not have been able to do this. Nobody should be able to do this, Will thought.

He whipped out his communications device and activated it. "Betty Director here," a voice answered.

"Ma'am, I have something you need to see. Now," Will said with unaccustomed urgency.

Her curiosity piqued, she asked, "What is it?"

Will kept staring at the screen. "As much as it pains me to say this, it appears the Ron Factor is most definitely not a non-factor."

IV.

The beginning of the academic year had been tough for Ron. But being away from Kim had given him the opportunity to reflect on what was really important to him. So he'd applied himself to both his studies and his job, surprising himself at how much he could actually achieve. He'd knew he'd never be class valedictorian, but there was no reason for him to be satisfied with just being master of the Gentleman's C. Being in a real relationship with his best friend and facing down two nine foot aliens had given Ron the ego boost he'd needed to finally grow up.

But not too much.

Much to his delight, and to Kim's bemused if eye-rolling chagrin, Ron was thrilled to discover that the basement of the Student Union had old-time video games machines. And not just any video games, but classic titles, including a vintage Cosmic Invaders.

He'd busted his gut at football practice and had hit the books that afternoon. Kim was at a meeting of the cheer squad. Which meant nothing was going to stop him from zapping some old school bad guys from outer space. He felt bad about not bring Rufus with him, but not too bad: the little guy was back in the dorm, reading Business Day while enjoying some aged cheddar.

Ron made his way into the Union. He was ready.

V.

"Where am I?" Monkey Fist asked as he surveyed his surroundings.

"Oh, honey bunny!" DNAmy squealed in delight before she ran over to the revived aristocrat. "I missed you so much, Sweetums!"

Tim, watching from behind the console, was suddenly feeling very uneasy. The superior intellect that had earned him a place at Llenrock along with obscene amounts of grant funding told him that something was very off, and not just in the department of wrong-sick romance. He suppressed his worries, though, and came out and approached the duo.

As it was, he wasn't the only one experiencing unease. The last thing Monkey Fist remembered from before being drawn into the realm of the Yono was being defeated by the Pretender's baby sister. Now, he had been returned to the land of the living and found himself in the clutches of an all-too-familiar chipper mad geneticist. With confidence born of his upbringing as an English nobleman, he pushed DNAmy aside. "I cannot say the feeling was mutual. Still, I guess I must offer my thanks."

DNAmy glomped him again. "And you can do that by giving your Peachy-pie a big old kiss!"

"I think not," he said as he once again made to free himself. Then he turned to Tim. "You, boy, tell me where I am."

The young researcher bristled. In just the few seconds he'd been awake, Monkey Fist managed to annoy him. "First, don't call me 'boy'," he snapped, before his discomfort began to assert itself and conciliation seemed a wise course. "Second, you're in upstate New York."

"When?" Monkey fist demanded.

"It's been about eight months since you had your, er, accident," Amy answered.

The monkey man cocked an eyebrow. "I see. Tell me what has happened since."

Amy proceeded to do just that. By the time she was finished, Monkey Fist was seething. "So, Ron Stoppable is still pretending to be a Master of the Mystical Monkey Power? That will not do."

DNAmy could see that her would-be paramour was angry. "Oh, Sugar-booger, what can I do to make you happy?"

Monkey Fist considered the question, then looked at Amy. He felt something course through his body, he wasn't sure what, but he had a hunch that he still maintained a connection to the dark realm of the Yono. He knew he would need to be careful. Still, he thought, why not see what might be possible. He concentrated, his eyes shone, and moments later, colorful beams shot forth from his hands, turning a shocked Amy Hall to stone. He grinned, "That will do nicely."

Then he turned his attention to a gaping, terrified Tim.

VI.

"Good practice, ladies," Traci enthused.

The young women, chattering happily, headed to their locker room. Since Traci had assumed leadership of the squad back in Go City, the Llenrock cheerleaders had stepped up their game in as impressive a fashion as the football squad had theirs. The redhead who had made that possible was chuckling as she left the gym, laughing at a squadmate's joke.

She and Traci left the athletic complex together, talking about a possible new routine that the senior was hoping to try out at the next game.

They were entering the Student Union to get a smoothie and, Kim anticipated, pull an engrossed Ron away from his video game, when the screaming rang through the building, which was quickly followed by panicked students fleeing.

"What's going on?" Traci asked.

"Nothing good, I suspect," Kim replied as she hurried toward the pandemonium. She surveyed the scene, then stopped short and gasped. At the center of the chaos was an old-style video game, throwing off sparks and buelching smoking, and in front of it was Ron – who lay on his back unconscious sprawled on the floor.

To Be Continued …