Chapter 35 — A NEW YEAR

"New Year's Day... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual." (Mark Twain)

New Year's Day… Sally, Carrie and Beatrice swooped in with the makings of a feast. Banned from his own kitchen, Jonesy was directed to join Slim, Jess and Kim in dismantling the Christmas tree, repacking the ornaments and restoring the parlor to normalcy. Andy was put in charge of minding Jake and Lily.

Somehow the three women managed to navigate around one another in the small kitchen. By late afternoon the parlor table was laid with another festive repast—the last of the holiday season.

Lychee'd sent word that, due to prior commitments, he and Father Sean would be unable to reprise the earlier aborted meeting with Kim at the ranch. However, as a consultation was still needed soonest, could Kim possibly come to them in town? Sheriff Corey assured that any danger in doing so was past. After dinner it was decided that Kim would ride back to town with the ladies and catch the coach to the ranch when his business was concluded. Although everyone was curious as to what that business might be, diplomacy ruled and no one... except Sally... dared ask.

Sally and Kim found themselves with a few moments of privacy as she rehitched the team to the surrey. "Everyone's about to expire with curiosity."

"I know."

"Including me."

"I know that, too."

"If it means you might be going home soon... well... I'm happy for you, of course... but..."

"I don't want to leave you, either, Sally... but I can't stay here. I have obligations..."

"We shouldn't have let things get this far. I blame myself."

"It's as much my fault as yours. We need to make a clean break... I'll stay at the hotel tonight."

"No... stay with me... it might be our last chance to be together."

"People will talk."

"Let them!"

A hail from Carrie on the front porch got their attention. "We're ready whenever you are..."

"Be right there..."

The house seemed unnaturally quiet. The only sounds were the popping and hissing of resin-filled pine knots in the fireplace and the tic-toc of the ormolu clock on the mantel. With outside chores completed and the kitchen cleaned up and prepped for breakfast, the four official occupants planted themselves in the parlor in the expectation of resuming a typical evening at home—as life'd been three months ago... before Jess' accident and the advent of Kim.

Jonesy was applying himself to the neverending task of mending rips and replacing lost buttons. In the matching rocker, Jess was making a half-hearted attempt to darn socks. Slim was hunched over his ledger at one end of the table. At the other end, Andy's chin was propped on a fist as he gazed abstractedly into a far corner of the room, geography book lying open in front of him.

Slim looked up with a frown. He hadn't detected the rustle of a page being turned in some time. Ever since the incident with the Chinese men, he'd been allowing the boy to slack off from his responsibilities... but it was a new year and time for Andy to be reminded that free passes didn't last forever.

"Just because Kim's not here doesn't mean you don't have to study." Striving to deliver the message as a reminder rather than an accusation, Slim purposefully kept his voice low and tone light. "There's only eight more weeks until you take those entrance exams..."

Andy sighed, redirecting his attention to his brother. "Kim says I'll be ready... but..."

"But what?"

"What if he doesn't come back?"

"He said he would."

"But what if he doesn't?" Andy persisted.

"He gave me his word. I believe he'll keep it. Besides, I'm sure you can manage on your own from here on out..."

"Uh huh."

Encouragement, Slim reminded himself—Kim's oft-repeated advice to him...

"I'm proud of you, Andy. Even with everything that's happened, you've hung right in there and kept your nose to the grindstone. I've every confidence you'll nail those exams."

"I guess."

"What's really bothering you?"

Andy stared down at his book, obviously not finding any help there.

"I'm not sure anymore that I wanna go so far away... to a strange place, where I don't know anyone..."

Slim felt the rebuke rising... but it didn't get past his teeth. Sensing he was being watched, he cut his eyes to Jess, who was nodding almost imperceptibly at him to keep a lid on it.

"Everyone feels that way when he first leaves home, Andy. I know I did. First few weeks I was so scared and homesick I wanted to sit in a dark corner and cry."

"You?" Andy was plainly shocked. "You never said. I remember Ma telling later how you couldn't wait to go off and be a soldier. That you were happy for the chance to get away from here."

"I was. I was young like you, and wanted to see the world... well, at least, more of life beyond this ranch. War was a good excuse to go. I wouldn't recommend it, though. It'll be different for you... nobody'll be shooting at you. You'll be too busy learning and making new friends to get homesick."

I could tell him, too, that he won't be without family... that Jonesy'll be close by... but Jonesy hasn't yet committed to going and I don't want to put him on the spot... or give Andy false hopes...

Andy still wasn't looking too convinced. "What if they don't like me at that school? What if I don't fit in with those city kids?"

"No sense worrying about that until you get there." Belatedly Slim realized that was pretty much a non-answer. Too, Jess was nodding his head again... No. You have to do better than that!

"There'll be lots of other country kids just like you... maybe not from Laramie, but little towns all over the territories... and all worried about the same thing."

"You think?" Andy brightened.

"Sure there will. In the prospectus for Smith Academy it says that more than fifty percent of freshman classes are made up of boys from out of town. That's one of the reasons I settled on that school."

A sneak peek at Jess garnered Slim a nod of approval... and a flash of annoyance. Where does he get off weighing in on this discussion? Oh... yeah... family... his opinion counts.

The expression on Andy's face assured Slim he'd said the right things which, he acknowledged privately, he might not've done had Jess not been present.

"You know what? I think you've done enough studying for tonight. Why don't you go ahead on to bed and get a fresh start in the morning?"

The noise of chairs scraping back from the table brought Jonesy back to life. Allowing he needed some shut-eye (as if he hadn't been sawing logs for the past hour!), he and Andy made their goodnights and left the parlor. Once their bedroom doors had snicked shut behind them, Slim made a sortie to the root cellar and brought up a dusty cobwebbed bottle. Wiping it off and uncorking it in the kitchen, he brought it into the parlor along with two squat cut-glass tumblers.

"That don't look too medicinal to me," Jess remarked, leaning forward to take possession so Slim could settle his lanky frame into the vacated rocker.

"Ceremonial," Slim grunted, rooting around to adjust a pillow to just the right position at the small of his back. "You pour... fill 'em up!"

Slim held his glass up to Jess'. "To better times in a profitable new year for all of us." They clinked glasses and sipped. "Your turn..."

"To... uh... havin' a home an' good friends..." Jess offered, adding shyly, "an' a best friend name of Slim."

"Oh really? And here I was under the impression Andy was your best friend..." Slim teased.

Jess had to think about that for a minute. "Andy's more like a kid brother to me... or a nephew. You're more like a big brother..."

Slim grinned. "Well, I'm honored to be either one or both... friend and brother." Stretching out his long legs to appropriate half of the ottoman, he slumped back to balance his glass on his belly between interlaced fingers.

"Speaking of Andy... how'd I do... about the school issue?"

"You done good," Jess murmured, wary of treading too near that slippery slope again. "He needed to hear that. An' he needed to hear it from you."

"I'm gratified by your approval," Slim uttered with only the vaguest suggestion of sarcasm.

"You makin' fun a me?"

"Not at all. In fact... I'm admitting you're right. You've been right all along. I've just been too pig-headed to see it..."

The look Jess was giving him was somewhere between derision and downright disbelief. "Uh... right about... what?"

"About taking a softer approach toward Andy... more encouragement, less discipline. Not an attitude I learned from my own father, that's for sure. He was a good man, but stern and unforgiving when things weren't going his way."

"That why you joined up?" Jess asked. They'd hardly ever talked about the war years and he was curious why Slim was bringing up the subject now.

"Partly, I suppose. Farming was in his blood. He was fixated on the idea of the two of us someday running the biggest wheat spread in the Laramie Basin..."

"Didn't you and him do some drovin' together?"

"Just the one time, when I was real young... out of necessity—we needed the money. I kept telling him I wanted to be a rancher, not a farmer. I wanted to go to college and learn animal science and how to breed better cattle. He wouldn't listen. Ma was on my side. They fought a lot about it. In the end it was easier for me to just leave."

"Andy don't wanna be a rancher."

"I know that. I've always known it. That's why I'm so determined he gets the education our mother wanted for him, since she couldn't make it happen for me."

"Dya think he really means it... about not wantin' to go now?"

"No. I think it's just a case of cold feet because Kim's not here to hold his hand. Once he realizes he's smart enough to get through the study guides on his own he'll be alright."

"Even if Kim don't come back?"

"Even if he does, we've got to get used to the idea he might be leaving sooner than anticipated."

"Because a what Lychee and the padre wanna talk with him about? I can see where he needs a lawyer... but what's the priest's part in this?"

Slim shrugged. "Not our business to ask, Jess... unless it brings more trouble our way." He reached for the bottle, surprised to find they'd sipped their way almost to the bottom.

"I'm hoping, before he does leave, Kim sees fit to tell us his story. Just like maybe someday—when you decide you're comfortable enough—you might feel like sharing yours..."

"It ain't all that interestin', Slim... an' it ain't pretty. You damned sure wouldn't like what you'd hear."

"Oh... no doubt about that, but none of us are perfect. The things you've done, the things that've happened to you... they all shaped you into the man you are today. Same goes for me."

"There's a better than even chance the past ain't done with me yet," Jess warned.

"We'll burn those bridges when we cross 'em, pard!" Slim declared.