CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

I heard an alarm early in the morning….or maybe it was still night. I couldn't be sure. The hours of the day were jumbled together and it was hard to know when was when, even with a clock in the room. I slept a lot and got tired easily. After seeing my sisters for a good while, I saw my brothers come in. I enquired where my mother was, but Rachelle, Rhea, and Rebecca just looked at each other and they frowned before Rhea explained, "she couldn't get away from work. You know how much of an asshole her boss is. She says she might come tomorrow."

To be honest, I wasn't surprised. Hurt, but not surprised. After that my mood was a little lowered. I found out that all of my family were staying at my house, keeping my dogs company at night and taking them on walks in the morning and night while Rachelle would stay home with Buddy and cuddle with him. By the time my brothers were about to leave I was tired again, but I stayed awake enough to see Sarah and Kiara and Sarah's mother, who all hugged me tightly. I hugged them back and listened to them, getting tired. After the second yawn I made, they said that they would leave me be again. I didn't want them to leave, they had only been in for about fifteen minutes and I wasn't done seeing them again, the presence of my visitors making me feel a bit better about what had happened, but by the end of the fifteen minutes, I could barely keep my eyes open. Rebecca came in to keep an eye on me and keep me company as I fell asleep.

The next time I woke up was when she was beside me. I was a bit thirsty so she went to get me a bottle of water. Rodger was also in the side of the room, reading a book. I looked at the clock and saw it was six. In the morning or afternoon? And I couldn't tell when I actually went back to sleep. I was still drowsy as Rebecca came back and helped me drink the water. She informed me that Rhea and Rachelle went back home to get some sleep while Happy 'the big tattooed one' and Jax 'the young blonde one' were still standing guard of my door and hospital room. She said that most of my friends were still in the waiting room hoping to speak to me, but I told her that maybe I could see them later. She could tell that I was tired and my little sister let me go back to sleep.

I woke up again only for a couple of seconds. I remembered that, but I was awake and I looked around to see that Sarah was in my room, but then I fell back to sleep.

So when I woke this time, I groaned a bit from the alarm. I blinked, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the dark with some lights on in the room, but they were dimmed. I looked around after a bit groggily and saw Happy looking out the door. I asked him, my voice still small and tired, "Hap, what's going on?"

He looked back at me and now I could see that he was talking to someone. My nurse. He looked over at the nurse again and I heard hushed goodbyes before he told me in a small voice that still held the gravel and gruffness that it usually did, "go back to sleep. Another patient tried to leave and hurt a nurse trying to go. They sounded the alarm for security. The nurse was just going around to inform the patients or their doctors. They already have the guy. Someone named Zack. He is in this sector so the closest alarm the other nurse could go to was the main one for this one…anyway, go back to sleep. Everything is fine."

Zack? No…it couldn't possibly be.

I wanted to try and get out of that thought. I asked him, "what time is it?"

"Early. Go to sleep," he grumbled as he moved back into his seat in the chair that was a bit away from my be, against the wall so he could set his head against it to sleep.

I had to admit it to myself that I did feel a little bit better that Happy was here. If anyone could ward off a threat or intruder, it would be Happy. And he had the senses of a hound dog. Even in his sleep I knew that he would hear anyone coming down the hall, no matter how quiet they were.

"Sorry. I wanted to see the others today." I told him.

He shook his head, moving to try and relax in the uncomfortable chair. I knew it had to be uncomfortable. How was he able to walk? Wouldn't this hurt his back and put it out of alignment…how long have I even been here? Rachelle said that he was here each night, but she never told me how many nights. Was I here for three days? A week? Even two weeks? No…okay not that long. Donna and Opie were still here with the baby. Depending on how long Donna's labour was then I'd been here from one to three days or about that…or at least five to six depending on how long they wanted Donna to stay for the aftercare.

Happy told me as he crossed his arms on his chest and closed his eyes, leaning his head against the wall, "it's fine. They understood. Let your blood in first to see you and then they'll come in after."

I nodded a little and he grumbled, "but you do have a large ass family."

I smiled a bit, "that's not including nine other cousins."

I didn't know them very well. They were mostly on mom's side. She had three sisters and two of them had three kids and the last had one while on my dad's side his brother had two sons. I never knew either of them that well. My dad's brother died in a car accident before I was born and my cousins are eleven and fifteen years older than me. And on my mom's side they were all abundantly younger and lived in Washington. I would talk to my aunts and uncles every now and then, but it was short and we never had anything to talk about. I wasn't surprised or offended that they didn't come. And both sides of my grandparents were dead.

He grumbled then said, "I meant your blood and us."

That made me think. He meant that I was part of the SAMCRO family already. Even though I had about another month left of prospecting.

"Thanks." I mumbled softly, touched by what he said.

"Just saying what we all think." Happy told me, "now, get your ass to sleep."

I smiled again by his comment before I closed my eyes. I shifted a bit in my bed to get into a better position. After feeling more comfortable, I relaxed into the pillow and I told him, "I guess goodnight Hap."

"Shut up and go to sleep." He grumbled, making me smile again and I decided that I would follow him this time. I fell to sleep shortly after, still tired from the experience, but the smile was still on my face.

~.~

The next morning I was woken up again by someone talking at my door. I groaned a bit and looked around. Happy was no longer beside my bed sleeping, he was at the door. It was open a bit for him to talk to the person on the other side but that was it. I looked around at the clock. It was almost ten. I really slept in then, even with all of the sleeping I did. The bright side was that my head no longer hurt at least.

I looked back over to the door and I asked, my voice croaking a bit since I just woke up, "who is it, Hap?"

He looked back over his shoulder at me instantly and he told the person behind the door in a grumble, "never mind, she's up. I know she would love to see you."

Happy opened the door a bit more and went to the side of the door, but his body blocked my view about who was there. I twisted my face a bit in curiosity and tried to turn my head and upper body so that I could see the person who was at the door. I still couldn't see a person, just the side of a metal hospital wheelchair. I heard a male voice that I recognized as Clay's say that 'they can go in first' and Happy nod. I repeated my question, "Hap? Who's at the door?"

He looked back at me and moved so that I could see. Through the doorway I could see Opie pushing a hospital wheelchair. In it was Donna with something swaddled in a pink blanket. Behind them I saw the rest of the Sons around the hallway, but my eyes focused on Donna. She looked a little paler than normal and tired, but it was still a smiling Donna. A smile instantly came to my lips as well. Donna and Opie looked up at me as Opie rolled Donna in. The new mother greeted me in a small voice, "hey."

Opie rolled Donna up until she was right beside me. Piney walked into the room as well, a smile on his face too. Proud Papa and Proud Grandpa. I leaned over a bit and smiled widely as I looked at the sleeping baby in Donna's arms. Donna moved her so that she was easier to see as well. The little girl yawned a bit and moved her arms out of the swaddle a little. Her little fingers were so cute. And he little yawn made my heart ache.

"Who's this?" I asked in a small, but excited voice.

"This is Elizabeth Lily Winston, but we're going to call her Ellie." Donna answered with a smile as she looked down from her baby to me. Opie was hovering over the little baby. Oh yes, definitely proud and protective papa.

The smile never faded as Donna told me as she looked back down at Ellie, "we're leaving today and Opie and I didn't know if you were leaving tonight or not so just in case we thought that we would give you a little visit."

I kept smiling, looking at the little baby. I nodded, "that's so sweet of you. I'm sorry that it was such a hard trip."

Donna shook her head, "it wasn't that hard. I can walk, but there are so many staircases and it's a long way from this wing to where I was so to save the stress we just got a chair. The doctor still wants me to be easy."

I nodded, looking at the sleeping little angel.

Donna looked up at me for a moment with a smile, "do you want to hold her?"

My eyes widened as I looked up from the baby's face to Donna's. She then looked up at Opie's smiling face and asked as I turned back to Donna, "wait…you mean…you'll let me hold her?"

Donna chuckled lightly before she answered, "of course."

I was quiet and frozen for a moment before I nodded my head a couple of times. over out my arm, careful not to hit my IV or let the baby damage it as Donna moved as well to transfer her baby from her arms to mine. I carefully took the baby, holding her carefully. She moved a bit, a small frown on her face now that she was moved, but when she sat on my lap in my arms the little girl settled down again. She moved her hand back and forth a bit before stopping. I smiled widely down at her, telling her in a small voice, "hello little baby girl."

I smiled, gently bouncing her in my arms. I could tell that everyone, even Happy and Piney were grinning or smiling at me as I held this little angel. The little angel that was so small and was a fragile little load. She had little blonde hair coming out of her head. She yawned a bit more before opening her eyes a bit. I smiled wider, if that was even possible, as the little baby looked up at me, the new person. I was expecting her to cry, but she stayed silent, looking up at the new person who was holding her, her eyes wide.

I commented to them, "oh you poor little soul, you definitely look like a Winston."

The guys laughed and I smiled down at her. She still looked up at me, eyes wide as she sucked her fingers. I told her, "you're still pretty cute though Ellie. I'm sure mommy and daddy are proud as hell of you."

I looked up at Opie and Donna and Opie grinned, "we sure are."

"How long ago was she born?" I asked. Maybe that would give me a bit of a timeline.

"Three days ago. Luckily she was quick to leave. Only ten hours of labour." Donna answered.

Alright, so I hadn't been in here as long as I thought that I would. Just about three days. I told Donna after thinking about that:

"Ten hours? And that's quick?" I asked, looking at Donna again.

She shrugged, "I guess that's on the quicker scale. A nurse was telling me that many women are in labour from twenty-four to twenty-eight hours."

I chuckled a bit and told her, "I'm glad you had such a short labour."

Donna smiled a bit and she said, "I just didn't want to leave without seeing you first. I've been cooped up in the baby wing. And Opie didn't tell me what happened until the next day…but I'm glad you're okay."

I gave Donna a friendly and soft smile before I looked down at the baby again. She looked up at me, now smiling and making babbling sounds. I grinned down at her and told her in a small voice, "you're adorable you know that. And you're the luckiest baby ever. You've got an amazing mommy and daddy and a protective pain in the ass grandpa."

Donna, Opie, and Piney laughed a bit. I gently stroked the baby's cheek once. She was a sweet little angel and an adorable baby. She smiled down at the baby and gently stroked her small nose once, "you are pretty adorable you know, little Ellie?"

She made gurgling noises up at me and I smiled before looking back at Donna and Opie. I told them with a smile on my face, "she's absolutely precious. Congratulations."

Donna smiled as well and Opie gently patted her shoulder as he told me, "thank you."

I looked down at Ellie and I told her, "I'll give you back to your Mama and Papa so you three can get going. You should see you're new baby room!"

Donna smiled and she moved closer and I carefully passed the baby to her and Donna took her little baby in her arms, holding her tightly. I smiled down at them and I told Donna and Opie again, "she is adorable. Congratulations you guys. If you ever need any help, you can call me…once I'm out of here."

Donna smiled and told me, "thank you. I hope that you get out soon, okay. Take care of yourself."

Afterwards, I watched them leave. Piney left as well and Happy stayed in the room, watching me as others came to take their place. Clay came in first and he was quickly followed by Jax, Juice, Gemma, Bobby, and Chibs.

Chibs walked over to me and gave my hair a bit of rub, to which I made a small groan and whine sound before he hugged me and kissed my cheek. He told me, "good to have ya back, kicker."

I smiled a bit and felt a large hand on my head. I looked up and saw Clay standing over me, his hand on my head. He told me, "glad to see you came back, Rowen. We all got pretty nervous."

People needed to stop saying 'came back'.

I smiled up at him though and told him, "thanks Clay…and thanks for calling my family. I knew that couldn't be easy. And helping to settle them in too, my sisters kept saying that so thank you so much for helping them."

He shook his head, "it was nothing. Least I could do in the situation. Just glad that you are okay."

I gave him a small smile before Clay sighed and leaned in and whispered, "when you get out, we'll talk about what happened, okay? With the other truck."

I looked up at him and nodded. Club business. He didn't want Gemma to hear. I didn't even think that this was club related, that this crash was caused by something that had to due with the club. Now looking it over I guess that it was a likely possibility, but I couldn't remember the details about what happened. I'm actually surprised that the police haven't come over to ask me anything. They obviously didn't suspect any foul play, probably already did a write up, but Clay and the others obviously did.

Clay nodded as well before he told me, gently stroking my hair, "but rest for the next little while, okay. Gather up your strength."

I nodded, "thank you, Clay."

He nodded and let go of me. The others moved in as well. Juice came first and hugged me. I felt like they hadn't seen me in months, that I went on vacation to Florida for three months and just came off the plane. Juice patted my back and we said our heys before Jax came over. I hugged him as well and he was grinning from ear to ear as he came over to me. I felt him whisper in my ear, "glad to see you're okay, darlin'. By the way, I think Juice has a thing for your friend Sarah."

He left, still grinning, proud that he shred the rumour and gossip. I looked at him, giving him a weird look before looking at Juice. I shook my head, smiling a bit. Loony. And I didn't know if that was to Juice or Sarah

But when I went to look around more around the room, my eyes stopped on James, who was standing by the door, leaning against the wall. He had a blank expression but I could see the deep pain that was reflected in his eyes. I gulped and knew what he wanted to say, what we wanted to say to each other without actually speaking to each other.

That our piece of four was broken once again, after we just finished patching up what happened with the last crack. I had to control myself, to not cry in front of the others. I had to face it when I looked at James that Eli wasn't here. That he was dead, the sinking feeling coming back that made me want to vomit. That it was still supposed to be the four of us, the four of us moving into the club together, not officially, but close enough that we would be in together in less than a couple of months. It was us four and now it was just us two. He should have been here too. Eli should have been in the hospital too and Donna and Opie should have showed him Ellie like they showed me.

The glass crumbled again, and I knew, somehow, I knew that it wouldn't ever go back to what it was, that I couldn't mend that break again like I had done with Jonah's death in time before something else happened.

And that scared me.