Meanwhile Shikamaru was trying to escape from the wrath that is the combined forces of Asuma and Chouji. Somehow, he had ended up at the doorway and he decided that maybe he would step out for a good smoke. Except he doesn't smoke so he decided that he would merely step out and NOT enjoy a good smoke.
As he walked over to the door and opened it up, it suddenly swung open and a horde of ninja piled into the room.
"All right, nobody move!" yelled the ninja who was definitely the one in charge because he was wearing a crown and had a big letter on his outfit. It was the letter "B" and it was all jaggedy like lightning. Then he turned to Shikamaru. "You made our job very easy, Mr. Hokage."
"Oh hell no." Shikamaru said as he tried to skirt away but the guy pinned him up against the wall. "What is it THIS time?"
"You know what it is." Said Head Ninja. "Only the Hokage knows of the information we seek."
"Then why don't you ask HIM?" Shikamaru asked, failing miserably in his attempt to escape.
"Many reasons." Said Head Ninja. "But most obviously, he's surrounded by hundreds of body guards while you're partying the night away. Plus, you're old and out of shape while he's in peak condition."
Because just about everyone in the room is/was a ninja, their ninja senses began tingling. Also, the fact that there were hundreds of bad ninjas in the room gave it away for the people with less honed ninja senses.
"SHIKAMARU!" Chouji yelled as he barreled over toward Shikamaru, knocking into Head Ninja and catching Shikamaru lovingly in his arms. "Don't worry, Shikamaru. I'll protect you."
"No!" came a voice as Asuma came sliding down a rope, taking Shikamaru from Chouji. "I will! You fight the ninjas!"
"But I just saved him!"
"Well, I'm taking him out of harm's way so you can finish the job!" Asuma retorted. Shikamaru climbed out of Asuma's arms and slinked away quietly.
However Head Ninja is a very persistent fellow. So if he can't get the Hokage and he can't get the retired Hokage, he'll get the next best thing.
"Dad!" came Shikataro's voice as Head Ninja swooped over toward him and put him in a sack.
"How troublesome." Said Shikamaru as he was just going to go over to save his beloved son but someone put their arm in front of him. "Ino?"
"Shikamaru, you've been retired for too long!" said Ino. "Let someone else take care of this!"
She turned behind her and all six of her children were behind her.
"Let's go, boys!" she said.
"Mom!" Hana whined. "I told you not to say that!"
"I'm not a ninja anymore, mom." Inoshi pointed out, his knees shaking.
"In THIS outfit?!" Shika said, appalled.
"We have to at LEAST change into our stylish battle uniforms!" Cho said.
"Where's dad, anyway?" Sasuke Jr. wondered out loud.
"Fight with the babies?!" Senjou demanded. Everyone turned around to see that he was holding Kikei and Little Sasuke.
"Okay…" said Ino, looking around for someone ELSE to back her up only to find that a majority of the people who are ninjas were already fighting.
"Dad, let's fight TOGETHER!!" said Lil Gai enthusiastically.
"Yes!" said Lee, standing up. "Gai, won't you join in as well?!"
"ABSOLUTELY!!!" screamed Gai as he went to stand up but only ended up hurting his back, causing too much blood to rush to his head and then proceeded to pass out.
"GAI!!!!" HOLL-ered Lil Gai and Lee as they caressed their fallen senior mentor.
"Hey!" said Tenten, standing up and slamming her hands down on the table to get her family members' attention as a few ninjas dropped from the ceiling. "Are you two going to protect me or should I go ask Neji's son to do it for me?!"
"NO!!" Lee yelled at the top of his lungs, caring a lot more than he should have. He looked over at Neji who was just standing idly by and being perfectly protected by his crazy in the zone chuunin who should be a jounin son. With that, Lee grabbed Lil Gai by his collar and threw him to his feet. "I COMMAND you to protect us better than Neji's son!!" he yelled, running over to Tenten and pretending to be helpless.
"Dad!" whined Lil Gai.
"Lee!" said Tenten angrily.
Lee was distracted because he was searching around for Lil Lee so he could force him to come over and protect him as well. "LIL LEE!!!" he yelled.
"What?" Lil Lee said, coming up behind him.
"Lil Lee, you must protect us with your brother." Said Lee. "AND TAKE OFF YOUR WEIGHTS!!!!!"
"Dad, you can protect YOURSELF." Said Lil Lee.
"No, I need you to protect me!" Lee commanded, observing Neji who had taken out his copy of Inoshi's novel to read, having absolutely no concern for his own well being whatsoever.
"LEE!!" shouted Kobiru as she sprinted over and pretended to trip. Normally, Lil Lee probably would have just let her fall, but since she was horribly pregnant, he didn't want anything terrible to happen to the poor baby who would have to suffer enough just because it would be born to a mother like Kobiru and a father like Pansuke. "PROTECT ME!!!"
"No!" said Lil Lee in a very commanding fashion as he pushed her away.
"WHY did you even catch her?!" demanded Lee.
"Because she's HORRIBLY pregnant and it's bad enough that the kid has to be born to Kobiru and Pansuke so it doesn't need to be messed up too!" Lil Lee answered.
"AHEM!!!!!!" yelled all the insane ninjas.
"Oh right!" laughed the entire Rock Family. And Kobiru.
With that, they started fighting back.
"I can't believe this!!" Kiba yelled, stomping his foot angrily as people fought around him. "These stupid random ninjas are RUINING my anniversary!! I'm sorry Hinata. I didn't mean for this to happen."
"I don't blame you Kiba." Said Hinata as she ducked her head just in time before a ninja being thrown through the air bowled her over.
"Pansuke!" Naruto yelled to his son as they both fought the ninjas. It had been him that threw the ninja toward Hinata. Of course, it was accidental and it's not like Naruto was trying to barrel Hinata over or anything. "If you save the former Hokage's son, you're SURE to be promoted to jounin rank!"
"Don't lie to him, Naruto!" Sakura yelled, ducking and covering underneath the table. She's not a ninja now, she was never a ninja.
"I'm not lying!" Naruto fought back, bending over to see her under the table. "I bet I could even be promoted to Hokage!"
"Hana!" Sasuke yelled as he chased after Hana. "Ino! What do you think you're doing?!"
"Sasuke, in case you missed it, that guy up there has Shikamaru's son in a sack and who knows what he's going to do to him!" Ino said as she pointed up to Head Ninja.
"Yeah, I know that." Sasuke said as he reached over to a torn portion of her dress and trying to fix it with no avail. "But this dress was very expensive. I'll fight instead."
"Sasuke, shut up." Said Ino.
"No I'm serious!" Sasuke said, getting all passionate. "I wasn't the number one rookie of my year for nothing!"
"Neji was the number one rookie of his year but he's not fighting." Said Ino, pointing over at Neji. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Neji doesn't count." He said. He turned around, getting into the best battle pose he could, mustering up his Sharingan with all his might.
"Oh so you DID master the Sharingan, younger brother!" Itachi said, coming out of nowhere. "I was very disappointed when I saw that you had an under developed one last time we met!"
Sasuke's face turned red as smoke started flowing from his ears. There was a distinct sound of a teakettle going off but before he could say anything else, Ino came from behind and judo chopped him into the Land of Unconsciousness.
"I didn't want to have to do it this time." She said with a sigh.
Suddenly, Ino was almost barreled over by her son, Inoshi.
"Mom!" Inoshi said, stumbling to stand up. "Do I have to fight? This is ridiculous!" He pointed over to the ninja who had defeated him and that particular ninja was a midget and was missing an arm.
"Inoshi, please don't tell me…" Ino started but she observed her third son, the leader of ANBU climbing under the table with Sakura as he held the two babies in his hand. "UCHIHA SENJOU, GET OUT HERE!"
"Mom!" he yelled back. "I need to watch the babies!"
"Let Inoshi do it!" Ino said.
"Inoshi's fighting!" Senjou called back. "Don't worry! I've got it under control, I'm old enough to watch them!"
"That's not the point, Senjou!" Ino said as she walked over to Senjou, dragging Sasuke and leaving Inoshi to defend himself against the horrible midget ninja cripple.
"Mom, SOMEONE has to watch the babies." Said Senjou. "And Sasuke and Lee are both fighting the ninjas so I have to take care of them."
"No, Senjou." Said Ino as she dropped Sasuke, grabbed Inoshi and pulled him over. "INOSHI will watch the babies. You will fight the midget ninja cripple."
"Oh thank you." Said Inoshi with a deep sigh.
"I think the babies would be safer if I watched them." Senjou said. "No offense to you or anything, Inoshi… but you couldn't defeat the midget ninja cripple."
"Senjou, don't make me raise my voice." Said Ino.
"What if the ninja cripple comes over and attacks Inoshi while he's holding both the babies?" Senjou asked hypothetically.
"That's why I want you to go out there and defeat the ninja cripple." Ino pointed out.
"But what about the REST of the ninjas?" Senjou said.
"Yeah, beat them too!" Ino said, getting frustrated.
"I CAN'T!" Senjou said woefully.
Just then, Shino walked over and officially made everyone uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry." Shino said. "I didn't mean to come over HERE. Somehow I got distracted on my way over to Kiba."
"Okay…" said Inoshi, Ino and Senjou.
Shino stood there for a second in silence, and then decided that he wasn't wanted. So he completed his journey over to Kiba.
"Kiba, have you seen any of my daughters?" he asked.
"No." said Kiba. "Why ask ME?! I've been over here childishly whining ever since this ninjas got here!"
"You're the only one who will listen to me." Shino said.
"That's not true, Shino!" said Kiba. "EVERYBODY loves you!"
Shino only glared at Kiba.
"Well, my anniversary is a DISASTER!" Kiba announced.
"Let's not make this conversation about YOU." Shino said.
"I WASN'T!!" Kiba yelled. Then he buried his face in his hands and started to cry. "I'M A BAD BEST FRIEND!!"
Shino rolled his eyes, and decided maybe he'd go back to that Uchiha threesome, no matter how uncomfortable he made them.
"Uh…" said Ino, Inoshi and Senjou as they stopped their circular conversation once again.
"Don't mind me." Shino said.
"Shino, how come you're not fighting?" Ino demanded.
"I'm looking for my daughters." Shino answered.
"I'LL find them!" Senjou offered as he went to march off but Ino grabbed him and pulled him back over. "Mom, Shino can't find his daughters. Someone has to find them!"
"That someone can be Shino!" said Ino. "Or… Inoshi! Or Sasuke if he wakes up!"
"But what if his daughters are being attacked by someone?!" Senjou said. "What'll Inoshi do THEN?"
"Senjou, if you get out there and fight then ninjas then they'll probably all be gone by the time Inoshi FINDS Shino's daughters!" Ino said.
"I don't need Senjou to find my daughters." Shino said, but he was ignored.
"Do you really doubt Inoshi's finding skills that much?" Senjou said with a raised eyebrow.
"No, I'm just saying-"
"BESIDES!" Senjou interrupted. "I can't fight ANYWAY, because I'm holding the babies!"
"Senjou, I'LL hold the babies!" Ino said.
"Well you should have said that BEFORE!" said Senjou with almost a laugh as he handed the two babies over. "Off I go!"
"Finally." Ino sighed as she watched Senjou run off. Then she turned to Inoshi and dropped the babies on him. She was ABOUT to start fighting the ninjas, but after a quick look around she realized that there were plenty of strapping young ninjas to do the job FOR her.
Inoshi looked around foolishly for a few seconds before catching sight of Neji who was gesturing for him to come over and join him in his little bubble. And he did just that. YAY!