Calamity
Three months went by after I awoke from a two and a half month coma brought about by that insane amateur of a scientist, Kurn. Three months went by of me taking pills and being poked and prodded at by the lovely She-Devil, Erryn, whose bed-side manner was beginning to grate on my nerves more so than I ever thought possible. She was worse than what I ever imagined a mother to be like.
"Did you stay up all night again?" Rufus asked me, as he walked out of the bedroom, squinting his eyes from the light filtering into the sitting room and interrupting my self-destructive train of thought and reminding me that I'd lost track of time again.
It was three fucking months of dead-ends, too much coffee, too much alcohol, and too many cigarettes. I had started chain-smoking again, and I couldn't seem to think of what made it worse.
Oh yeah, I remember now… Ten days ago…
Rufus didn't know it, but I broke into his surveillance system, and I overheard him and Tseng. I probably wouldn't have been so adamant about it if it wasn't for what happened.
But as it was… shit happened. Shit always happened.
Of course I stayed up all fuckin night again! Why the fuck would'n I?
"Is it mornin?" I asked with a rough and damaged voice, without pulling my attention away from my laptop. It was only routine… Or better yet, it was becoming routine, and as the routine went, I rubbed at my eyes, yawned, and told him, "I'm goin back ta the Crater."
And as a compliment to the routine, Rufus asked, "Again?"
"Yeah… Again," I said, and pushed the laptop away from me as I got up from the chair to stretch myself out and light another cigarette. Then I remembered that the other one I was smoking was still lit, and I snuffed it out with a curse and took note of Rufus' dark and unimpressed eyes while I worked on the new one.
In the last three months, I'd been to Nibelheim three times, and I'd come up with nothing. I went to the Crater four times, and I even scrounged about the old Midgar, Junon, and some remote location near Mt. Nibel. Actually, I went all over the damned place, some places more than once. All the while, Rude and my personal nurse, Erryn, nipped at my heels every step of the way under Rufus' orders, to make sure I was safe and that I was okay, and all the while, I kept asking myself…
Why the fuck does this shit keep happenin?
It seemed like every step forward that Rufus and I took in progress, only seemed to lead us further back behind the starting line, and I wasn't exactly sure how much farther back I was willing to go anymore. I wasn't willing to just accept things anymore. I had to do something… I had to find something… anything.
"I think you've gone out enough," he angrily said to me, after shaking his head in disfavour. I figured he was finally getting fed up with my inability to let anything slide and decided not to look at me as I walked by him.
"Whatever," I answered back. As far as I was concerned, he had no say in it. He'd been lying to me ever since I came out of that fucking coma, and it wasn't like I was going to let him stop me.
"No… It's not what ever!" As I grabbed my jacket and slid it on, he rubbed at his temples before rubbing at his eyes, and continued without turning to regard me. "I think this needs to stop…" he quietly said, and wiped his bang from his eyes, "I think this needs to stop now."
"I'm not stoppin, Rufus," I retorted, and I nearly made it to the door before I wound up against the wall with a grimace as his hands dug into my shoulders.
"Yes you are!" he warned me, as I focused on those beautiful, crystal-blue eyes of his, ignoring the darkness that resided within and the anger that shone through on account of me. "I've restricted all your access to the vehicles. I'm afraid you're not going to get very far!"
"Yer a fuckin asshole," I angrily hissed at him, and gripped my hands into his hair at the sides. Not to hurt him though, just to hang on. I would have screamed at him, but given the damage I'd taken to my throat, it would have been ineffective. So, I screamed inside instead and closed my eyes while leaning forward against his forehead.
Choke it back, ya sonuvabitch!
"I know I am," he coldly answered back, "But I'm not going to watch you run yourself into the ground over whatever madness has taken over you."
And it was at that opening, that I decided I'd give him another chance to come clean and tell me what he'd been hiding from me.
"If ya had somethin important ta tell me…" I started, and tilted my head a little to accommodate a brush to his lips with my own… Those beautiful lips that I feared would be the vicious death of everything that remained within me when I asked myself when the last touch would finally be the last, "Ya'd tell me…Would'n ya?"
"Of course I would," he softly answered back, anticipating a kiss and loosening his grip on my shoulders as our lips met.
Fuck, yer a liar… I thought to myself with my eyes tensely shut and my lips pressed to his and…
No!
"You're a fucking LIAR!" I screamed at him with a broken voice, and pushed him back so I could make my way to the door as quickly as I could while angrily adjusting my jacket and wanting to get the hell away from him as fast as I could.
I knew I had no right to behave the way I was behaving, especially after all of my own lies that I kept from him, but I just couldn't help it. I just couldn't seem to deal with anything anymore. In fact, I don't think I ever really was capable of dealing with anything. I just never really realised it until that moment.
"What the hell has gotten into you?" he yelled after me, and followed me out into the main hallway of our floor, while grabbing onto the back of my jacket to try and stop me from walking away from him as I squirmed out of it, "Ever since you've recovered, you've been acting like an insanely driven madman!"
"Ya fuckin know why," I muttered, after angrily hitting the button for the elevator, and then I turned to face him with a fiercely bitter glare.
"No… Reno," he tiredly answered, and swayed a bit as his hand trembled, causing me to run up to him and pull him back into the apartment in a fit of panic, "Thankfully, I don't know everything that goes on in your warped little mind."
Every last bit of hope was gone. Everything that remained of Jenova was destroyed.
And ten days ago…
Ten days ago, Rufus had an attack like I'd never seen before. Why the fuck we couldn't just live normal lives was beyond me, and as a result, I broke into his surveillance and tracked everything that had happened since the day that fucker Kurn screwed us all over and ruined everything.
"Sit down, Baby," I muttered, after I aided him back into the apartment and sat him carefully on the couch, "I'll getcha somethin ta eat."
With a quick brush back to his hair and a tender kiss on his temple, I noted the fact that he was doing his best to hide the fact that he was trembling while he stared at me in utter confusion. As far as my ability to overreact was concerned, there wasn't enough time for me to make him something to eat, so I grabbed some cold leftovers from the night before and brought it back to him as quickly as I could.
Suspiciously, he looked me over with narrowed eyes when I handed it to him and I brushed my hand nervously through my bangs. Standing over him with my other hand on the back of my hip and chewing on my lip while staring off into space, I simply shrugged as a response to his unspoken question. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked me, before he turned his attention to the food in front of him and started eating without so much as a gripe about it.
"Thinkin," I answered, and continued to stare at the floor in search of my thoughts.
"About?" With his brow cocked, he looked up quizzically, while stuffing another bite hungrily into his mouth and making every attempt to hide the fact that he desperately needed it.
"Nothin." With a deep breath, I turned my attention to him, and scratched at the back of my neck. "Gonna go see Erryn," I said all of the sudden, as a quickly thought-out excuse, and before he had the chance to reply, I was already on my way out the door and calling back to him without turning around, "Be right back."
I lied though. I bypassed Erryn altogether and went straight down to the archives in the back of the labs. There had to be something that I could find… Something that could lead me to some kind of secret stash of Hojo's… Gaia knew, that psycho of a madman had enough of them.
"Are you going to tell him?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because he doesn't need to know."
"Rufus… He 'does' need to know."
"Now is not the time to have this…" With a quick, steely look at his surroundings, he sneered and emphasised the word "discussion," before brushing something from the shoulder of Tseng's jacket with a light, feathery touch, "Tseng."
"Fuckin prick," I muttered to myself, taking note that the rasp in my voice was slightly more broken than it was earlier, while I took a drag from my almost used cigarette.
With a swift kick to the terminal that wasn't giving me any helpful information at all, I started cursing at the machine, my life, my fate, and the fact that it hurt like hell after kicking that blasted thing, "FUCKIN MOTHER OF –!"
"Shiva, Ren… You tryin to let everyone know where you are?"
"RENO," I screeched like a little boy going through puberty, and started coughing from the stress.
"Whatever… You sound like shit."
"What the fuck do ya want, Erryn."
With a snort, she brought her lighter up to the cigarette she had dangling out of her mouth and lit it. "Nothin," she said, and took a drag before chuckling at the sight of me hopping around from a sore foot. Then she muttered, "Great Shiva… You haven't changed at all." After that, she asked why I didn't come to see her for a check-up.
"Was'n s'posed ta see ya 'til tomorrow…" I grimaced, and followed her lead by pulling out another cigarette after dropping the other one to the floor and stamping on it.
"Tomorrow?" she repeated, and looked at me with a frown, "Shit, Reno… What day do you think it is?"
"The wrong day?" I answered sarcastically, and grabbed my flask to take a drink.
With a shake to her head, she grabbed me by the arm to support me and guided me over to her lab. "I thought I told you to get some sleep," she chastised and pushed me into one of her chairs, and then with an even stronger tone of disapproval she had to add the fact that she couldn't help but notice I was drinking all night, "You're gonna wind up killin yourself, you dumb-ass."
"Like ya give a shit," I muttered with a snicker, and reached into my pocket for my flask again, just so I could piss her off some more.
"Fuck, you're an idiot," she said with a shake to her head, and went about her business to finish shining her offensive light in my eyes along with all the other useless tests that she constantly ran on me. Then with a sigh, she stood straight up and crossed her arms while looking down at me. "It's no wonder you never settled down."
"Whatever…" With a shrug, I blinked my eyes a few times to blink the stars out of them, and then I stood up and practically leaned into her with my lit cigarette hanging out of my mouth and my breath reeking of alcohol.
Then I purred at her with a disgustingly toothy grin and my beautifully wrecked voice that had the added sound of damage caused by a lack of sleep and too much cigarettes throughout the night, "Thought ya'd be happy ta think ya could have me all ta yerself," While nudging her playfully with my shoulder and flicking my tongue out at her after pulling the cigarette out of my mouth.
"Shiva, you're a fuckin loser." Not finding any humour in what I said, she sneered at me and roughly pushed me away from her while muttering something about someone having the mannerism worse than that of a junkyard dog.
"Hm," I mumbled, and waved my hand at her in disregard to show that I really didn't give a shit about her opinion. Then I took another drag from my cigarette and stretched again from being so stiff after staying up all night and just stood there looking at the ceiling while swaying a bit.
"I've been tryin to figure out what you've been lookin for?" she said with her back to me, as she tidied up her counter and ignored the fact that I was being a rather annoying idiot by cracking my knuckles and tapping my foot.
"Fascinatin," I commented, not really giving a shit about what the hell was going through her head.
"Jenova…" With a snort, she took a drag of her cigarette after making a statement that she was certain of, suddenly catching my undivided attention, as I dropped my arms to my sides and locked my eyes on her back, "I can't say that I understand half the things you do. Or even why…"
"Then mind yer own business," I snapped, and took another drag from my cigarette, while digging around in my pocket for those damn Chocobo Pills of hers.
Ignoring me completely, she continued to put the items on the counter away and move some others about, "But whatever you're reason is. I can't say that I've ever seen you this stressed."
He carried him down to the infirmary shortly after Erryn had me stabilized. He went up to check on him to see what was taking him so long. Considering the fact that he practically had to pry him from my side to get him to go to the apartment to tend to his own needs, he figured he'd come right back down. But he started to get worried when he didn't return after nearly a day.
Apparently, Tseng ordered Rufus to go up to his apartment at ten hundred hours to take his pills, which were overdue, and the effect was starting to show. He thought he could trust him enough to tend to his own needs and then return back down to the infirmary once he was done.
But that's not what happened. Tseng knew that Rufus had self-destructive tendencies. In fact, he was the only one that knew about it for sure, but maybe he thought he'd outgrown them since he'd gotten me into his life.
He thought it would be all right if he returned to Elena, and even got a little sleep, while Rude took on the day shift of watching over me and Erryn. No one really thought anything about it because they were all pre-occupied with other things at the time, namely, all of the excitement that took place over the last forty-eight hours.
But when Tseng awoke later that evening and came down to check on both me and Rufus in the infirmary, he noticed something was not quite right.
"Where's Rufus?" he asked, and took a concerned look around and at everyone in the room.
Naturally, Erryn didn't think anything strange of the fact that he wasn't there and simply shrugged with a grunt while tending to my needs. Rude honestly thought that Rufus was with Tseng, since they both left together, and no one else on the floor had seen him since that morning.
If it were possible for Tseng to pale any more than he did at that moment, he probably would have been dead. He said nothing and abruptly left, leaving Rude with a suddenly concerned look and Erryn with another shrug while she indifferently checked over my readings. "I'm gonna have to up his dosage," was all she said, and went about her business, completely unconcerned with the way Rude had stood up and stared at the door with a look that pretty much said, 'Oh Shit.'
"…"
As Tseng gathered himself in the hallway on his way to the apartment, he cleared his throat with a dead hesitation before he knocked on the apartment door and straightened his jacket. "Rufus," he called. Then he said it again, a little on the loud side when there was no answer. After that, he smoothed his hair back with a lick to his lips, and another knock to the door. "Rufus… It's Tseng!"
After another silent moment, the slender Wutian muttered a short prayer in his native language to himself and dug around in his pockets to find a keycard that made me frown somewhat at the thought that he had access to my and Rufus' apartment. Then he slid it through the lock with a promising affirmation and stood in a dead shock for a brief moment, before bolting into the apartment.
"Great Leviathan… Rufus…"
"It ain't none of yer fuckin business, Erryn."
"It is if it concerns your health," she argued, and turned to regard me with something concealed in her hand. With a bit of a sneer, she closed her eyes and placed whatever she held into her pocket while muttering something about how much she really hated having to do what she was going to have to do, but she was left with no choice.
"What?" With a sudden wash of concern, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up in alarm over what she was getting at.
"I can't stand being like this anymore!" she yelled, and took a quick, nervous step to her side.
Fuck…
"I want my life back, Reno."
"Shit… Erryn!" I snapped, and threw my cigarette on the floor, "I don't have fuckin time fer this right now!" Suddenly on full alarm and unwilling to deal with her paranoia over the fact that she had no idea that she was completely safe, I turned to leave the lab with a new sense of overwhelming frustration.
"If it's Jenova you're lookin for," she called after me quickly and stepped abruptly forward while nervously brushing her hair behind her ear, "I know where you can find it."
Shit… Of all the fucking times she could have screwed me over, she chooses now.
I was about to completely leave the lab and her bullshit behind me, but then what she was saying suddenly sunk in. "What?" With a dead stop, I turned to face her, and then I reluctantly stepped back into the room, letting the door close carelessly behind me while my heart started to pound hard enough that it threatened to break its way out of my chest.
Almost like she expected the worst, she quickly manoeuvred herself behind an object to separate us both for her own safety and cried out, "You know what I want, Reno!"
"Is that whatcha got in yer pocket?" I asked her with a frightening calm, and took a step toward her, "A fuckin cure fer yerself?"
She fidgeted nervously while I took the time to grab my flask in an attempt to drown myself away from all of the cruel thoughts that were running through my head at that moment. Yet at the same time, I was partially relieved that she was telling me there was still hope.
Rufus was out cold when Tseng carried him from the apartment in a hurried frenzy. Dried trails of blood covered his hands, down to his fingers, and his neck was covered in scratches, most likely from his attempt at remodelling the bathroom. Or would it have been better to say that it was from the fit that he threw over the fact that he couldn't take anymore unwelcome surprises?
After watching Erryn have to revive me more than once throughout the night and hearing her muttering that she didn't think I was going to make it, he saw no point in going on.
That was the problem with Rufus though. For a man who never allowed himself to feel or express any emotions, he felt them deeply when he did… maybe a little too deeply.
That may have been the real reason that the man had closed himself off the way that he did, and as a result, he ignored Tseng's advice to take his pills. He also refused to take the other ones when his attack came on from his neglect and allowed himself to be consumed with that which he'd been fighting since the beginning.
As it turned out, the thought of being alone was enough for Rufus to not want to exist at all. It all made sense to me all of the sudden… the way he treated Elena shortly after Tseng fell for her, taking the only man that had ever paid attention and cared for Rufus away, and why he saw her as a threat, even with me. As cold as Rufus was, the reality was that he'd never been alone, and he lacked the ability to even fathom such a thought.
It was something I never would have known or even suspected of the man, and I probably would have continued to be blind to it if it weren't for me seeing it.
"Ren…" she nervously said, and adjusted herself to keep the chair between us that she was standing behind when I made a quick move toward her. She gripped it tightly, almost like she was readying herself to throw it at me if she had to. "Ren… I didn't want to have to do this…" she quickly added, in an attempt to justify herself.
"Reno," I reminded her, and wiped at my lips while taking another step towards her as she moved back with the chair. "What the fuck makes ya think I won't just kill ya fer bein the bitch that ya are?"
"Don't you fuckin talk to me like that!" she hysterically yelled, "Don't you fuckin sit there and threaten me like you think it matters!"
With a cup of coffee in his hand, Tseng stood outside the emergency room that Rufus was in, fidgeting with the handkerchief in his pocket and whatever other parts of his outfit that he could find fault with. He never showed it in his face though. He kept his stern appearance as immaculately as ever.
The only tell-tale sign that anything was bothering the collected Wutian was the fact that he couldn't stop straightening his suit. To the average onlooker, it would have seemed completely acceptable and ordinary to observe. To a person that knew the man though, they would have known that the man only paid that much attention to his clothes when something was bothering him.
"Sir," came the voice of the Doctor behind him, making him move quickly to set his coffee down before spilling it.
"Doctor," Tseng answered with an acknowledging nod, and patted the creases in his pant legs down.
"He's stabilizing," the Doctor answered solemnly, leading the man who raised the boy almost as if he were his own son to believe that there was more than just good news to come, "But there's something I need to talk to you about."
"All right," I said with a nod and clenched teeth. Then I shook my hand to expel a sudden burst of energy. Part of me wanted to throttle the conniving witch to death, and the other part of me wanted to grab her and kiss her for the fact that I knew she didn't bullshit. As a lead-in to get her to talk, I asked her a question that I knew I wasn't going to get an answer to unless I played along, "Where is it?"
She moved back farther when I moved forward again and took another drink from my flask. "I'm not tellin you until you take this shit out of my body!" she yelled, while practically standing on her toes to stress the intensity of the situation.
"Ya want that shit outta yer body?" I growled at her through a feral sneer, and then out of nowhere, I threw my flask to the floor as hard as I could and lunged at her while screaming, "I'LL TAKE THAT FUCKIN SHIT OUTTA YER BODY!"
Gaia… it didn't matter who the hell or what the hell I was angry at or with at that moment. I just wanted to throttle anyone and everyone within a foot's distance. But the fact that I had started choking from pushing my voice to the max when it really wasn't ready for it, and I had to pull out my handkerchief to wipe the blood away from my lips, didn't really help me in my cause at that moment, and I doubled over onto the floor.
"Shit! Ren…" she said in a fluster, and let go of the chair to blindly run to my side to make sure I was okay. Of all the things she could have done to make the situation worse, she didn't. She was a sucker for the weak. She always was. And although, I didn't throw myself into a choking fit on purpose or to get my way to play her into my hands, the opportunity was suddenly there.
"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to stop it."
Paling, Tseng stood in front of the Doctor with his eyes on the floor. He was listening, but he wasn't wanting to listen.
As an attempt to explain that what was happening was really no ones fault and that it shouldn't have really come as a surprise, he reminded Tseng that, "We all knew this was bound to happen," and then he placed his hand on Tseng's shoulder to try and remind him that the 'here and now' needed to be dealt with as opposed to the self-destructive blame going on inside the older man's head for not staying by his young protégé's side when he knew he should have. "His metabolism is turning on him at a rate that I can't control."
"You can't correct his medication?" he asked, knowing that his question was futile, "You've done that before."
"I'm sorry… I've done all I can."
I grabbed her roughly by the wrist and yanked her to me hard, while twisting her arm as she grimaced and cried out over it. Then I ran my fingers lightly over her scar as she looked hatefully at me with those bitter-grey eyes of hers that judged me, even when she wasn't there.
I didn't fully know what I was doing, but Ren had nothing to do with it that time. At least, I didn't think Ren had anything to do with it. I think it was mostly brought on by a lack of sleep for the last three months and the downward spiral I'd set myself on for the ride of my life. I wanted to hurt her so much for it.
But it wasn't her fault…
"Ya sure that's whatcha want?" I crooned through my clenched teeth, angry at myself for ever doing what I did to her, angry at myself for the fact that she was there, in front of me, to hold it over me, and angry at the fact that if I fucked up… it was game over, "If somethin goes wrong…"
Defiantly, she stared back, unwilling to back down while I tilted my head and smiled crookedly at her with my brow raised. Then she yanked her head away from my touch when my fingers slid down to brush the texture of her lips, and hissed at me, "I know you, Ren."
"Reno," I reminded her, and yanked her closer to me so our faces were dangerously close and our eyes clashed in a twisted mixture of hatred and admiration for one another.
"You won't let anything go wrong."
Tseng wiped at a sudden and almost invisible layer of sweat that appeared just above his upper lip and locked his devastated eyes on the door that Rufus laid behind…
And he just stood there.
"His medication will still help to sustain most of his pangs. There's a good mixture of pain-killers and stabilizers…" the Doctor said, and then he stopped when he realized that Tseng may very well have not been listening to him.
"Just tell me how much longer."
"Six to eight months… Give or take."
Six to eight months… and the fucker had no intention of telling me.
She yelped when I pulled her roughly up to her feet, along with me, and started to drag her to the elevator.
Not a word was spoken as I dragged her through the labs, making every effort to avoid being gentle with her. Not a word was spoken while we were in that claustrophobic lift of deception, and I held her uncomfortably close to me in a death-grip. Not a word was spoken while I pushed her into the fucking door of the apartment and pulled out my keycard so I could get this whole nightmare over and done with.
Not a word…
At least, not a word until…
"Great Shiva! What are you… obsessed with your fuckin Boss?" she blurted out. With a shocked horror of realisation, she sat herself up after me pushing her onto the floor of the sitting room, and looked around.
Oh yeah… I forgot about those fuckin pictures on the wall…
Not to mention the fact that the whole fucking apartment just screamed 'RUFUS!'
"Shut the fuck up!" I warned her with my back to her, and left her there to stare at some old pictures of Rufus with Dark Nation at his side when he was in charge of the Turks and as the Vice President, while I went into the spare room to dig through one of the old boxes that I never bothered to unpack.
When I came across what I was looking for and paid little mind to the fact that I had dragged the most evil creature on the planet into my living room and left it there alone to dig up all sorts of shit on me, I shut my eyes tight and prayed silently to whatever God that would take mercy on me.
Gaia knew, I needed whatever help I could get, and I really didn't think I could deal with one more thing going wrong. In fact, I was pretty damn sure I was at a point to where I just couldn't deal with any more.
Enough was enough, for Fuck's sake!
With a look of warning and a reminder that all hell could break loose due to the fact that I had no idea exactly how stable what I held was, and how stable what I injected her with was, I held up a small vial in front of her face. "The Desert Rose," I told her with a tight voice, and then I said, "One drop," While sternly locking my eyes with hers. "An I ain't got no fuckin clue if this shit's even gonna work properly."
"I should have an hour after it's released," she answered, with a bit of hesitancy and stress in her voice. After all this time, I didn't really think that she honestly thought she'd ever live to witness the day, and from the looks of things, she was just as nervous as I was.
"That ain't the problem, Erryn," I growled, to stress that I didn't really think that what we were doing was a good idea.
"I know," she answered back with a nervous calm, and a gulp to accommodate it. "You have no idea how long it will take to completely break down."
"Yeah." With a nod, I opened the small vial and hesitantly handed it to her. "The theory was twenty minutes once the acid's in yer system… an ten minutes for the acid to be fully absorbed."
"We'll give it forty then," she answered with a nod, "To be safe."
"I don't fuckin like this," I muttered, as she let a drop fall onto her tongue, "If ya fuckin die on me, I ain't gonna get my answer."
"What kind of answer were you hoping for?" came a voice from behind us that made me cringe relentlessly.
Fuck! Would someone just fuckin shoot me 'now'?
"What the fuck…" I snapped, and stumbled to my feet, "Do ya have some sorta fuckin radar for grand entrances?" I was literally freaking out when I turned to regard Rufus at the door as he entered, leaving Erryn to sit there with her brows raised in a sudden and newly peeked curiosity.
"So… your Boss… just walks into your apartment whenever he feels like it?" she stupidly asked, and challenged me with a not-so-stupid look on her face while sitting on the floor, looking up at me with nothing less than an 'I'm not so surprised' shine to her eyes.
Yeah… judge me all ya fuckin want, Bitch!
Tensing my lips and stiffening up, I stood, frozen to the spot, and pointed my finger at her as a warning to keep her fucking mouth shut while Rufus completely ignored our interaction and hung his coat up on the rack.
"I believe I have every right to walk into my own apartment whenever I feel like it," he calmly said, and then he straightened out his sleeves and regarded us both with a mild curiosity. "Perhaps you'd like to tell me what's going on?" With his brow cocked, he set his tired eyes on me for a moment, and then on Erryn, before he started to walk into the kitchen to get himself something to eat.
With a slick and toothy grin and the most nefarious glint she could come up with in her eyes, Erryn raised her brow at me and snickered out. "So… Are you gonna tell me that you just walk into your Boss's apartment whenever you feel like it, then?"
"Shut the fuck up, Erryn!" I warned her with my finger still pointing at her, and then I stabbed it into the air for emphasis. Then she started chuckling like a madman and commented on the fact that, "This is. Just. Too. Precious." while she dug around in her pocket to prepare the serum she'd grabbed before the whole mess started. "I hope you're not dumb enough to screw everything in sight like you did behind Haldric's back."
"YA FUCKIN WHORE!" I screamed at her, and jumped on her to wrap my hands around her vicious little neck to strangle the life out of her, "Don't you ever mention his fuckin name ta me! Ever! At least I weren't no fuckin whore! Ya Gaiadamned –"
"Reno!" came Rufus' strong voice, as I was pulled off of her abruptly by the collar of my shirt and grabbed into a vice-like hold from behind. In a sporadic frenzy, I tried to kick my way out of his grip so I could get back at her to ram something down her throat to shut her up, while she started crawling away from us, choking, "What the hell is going on?"
The moment his grip started to shake on me, I let myself go limp to get him to loosen up, and then I slammed him down onto the fucking couch. "Ya wanna know what's goin on?" I screamed at him, and pushed him back down again when he went to get back up. "You're a fucking piece of shit liar!" is what I said to him, and then I stormed into the kitchen, trying to suppress my cough while attempting to grab some fucking food for the lying bastard.
Completely ignoring the wicked beast in the living room as it attached a small vial to a syringe and tapped it, Rufus chased me into the kitchen and slammed me against the fridge, hard enough to knock everything off of it. "I can't take anymore of this insanity, Reno!" he shakily growled into my face, "You're going to tell me what the fuck is the matter with you, and you're going to tell me now!"
"Shit, Rufus," I quietly said all of the sudden, and closed my eyes to choke back on my unstable emotions that threatened every fibre of my being. "Yer fuckin shakin," I said, and placed my hands over his.
"Gaia…" he muttered, and closed his own eyes with a bit of a swallow to regain his stature, and then he loosened his grip on me while shaking his head, "Your cryptic behaviour is going to be the death of me."
"Bullshit!" With an angry push, I pushed him away from me so I could turn around and open the fridge to grab something to stuff roughly into his hands, "You had no fucking intention of telling me!"
"Telling you what?" he angrily asked, and agreeably started stuffing the food into his mouth.
"I see you've redecorated your apartment." Tseng pulled up a seat to sit by Rufus' side and grabbed onto his hand for support, "I suppose it's a good thing you don't lose your temper like that often."
"I don't want to talk about it, Tseng."
"Of course you don't," he consoled, as Rufus tiredly turned away from him and stared at the monitor to his side. "However, I don't think you need to tell me what I already know."
With a sigh, Rufus closed his eyes and swallowed, and then he lifted his free hand to weakly brush his hair out of his face, "I didn't know what I was doing."
"You never do when you get like that…" Tseng said with an uncommon tightness to his throat. "I guess I should be thankful that it doesn't happen often."
"He looked so fragile."
"Yes… Well… He's all right now." With a few taps on the younger mans hand, Tseng stood up and straightened out his pants before straightening out the impressions left by his arms on the side of the bed, "But I'm afraid you're not."
"You mean I can finally go now?" Rufus sarcastically asked, and smiled like he found relief in something amusing that he wasn't willing to share.
"I wish you wouldn't say things like that," Tseng tensely said, and looked over at the door instead of at Rufus, "That's your father talking."
"It's what he wanted."
"What he wanted was unimportant." Shaking his head very subtly and taking a deep breath, the slender Wutian took a careful look around and then set his sight uneasily on the young President to his side. "You're not 'nothing', Rufus."
"I will be."
"Gaia…" With another deep breath, Tseng smoothed his hair back and sat on the edge of the bed while pulling Rufus over to him, searching his mind for something to give the young man a reason to want to fight, even though the essence of hope seemed like it was too far out of reach. "Reno never thought that of you," he said lightly, and pulled Rufus even closer so that the younger man's head was on the Wutian's shoulder, "And neither did I."
After a long silence of Tseng just holding Rufus in his arms, the older man placed a tender, loving kiss on the President's forehead when he noted that he'd fallen asleep, and then he gently pulled himself away to go and have a word with the doctor.
"Are you sure there's nothing that can be done," he resolutely asked, and grabbed a Styrofoam cup from a dispenser to fill it up with much needed coffee.
"He went too long this time," the doctor answered while flipping through Rufus' records in an attempt to find something that might be of aid. "I'm not giving up on him, Sir. But you and I both knew that all it would take was one more time for him to do something this foolish."
"Damn Reno," Tseng muttered, just barely above a breath, "I told that boy to stay away from him."
"It's not healthy to pass blame."
"I'm not," Tseng answered with a brief shake to his head. "It's just that you know as well as I do, that Rufus always hurt himself whenever it came to either Reno or his father."
"Yes," the Doctor agreed, while still scanning over his papers. "However, I did notice quite an improvement in his health when he was with the deviant. It almost seemed like he wanted to live for a change."
"I believe he did." The Wutian agreed and took a sip of his coffee, before turning to regard the Doctor with his unrelenting hope. "However, I'd hardly call Reno a deviant… You were the Doctor that saved his life all those years ago, before he was with us, if I recall correctly. Weren't you?"
"Yes. He was one of my patients."
"Then I'm surprised you'd refer to him in such a manner."
"My apologies, Sir," the Doctor quietly answered, before he turned his attention from his papers over to the slender man standing in front of him. "Sometimes I forget the reason he acts so crazy."
"Hm. I doubt any of us would be so sane." With a bit of a nod to himself, as if he was attempting to reassure himself. He took another sip of his coffee and then sat himself down in the empty chair before the Doctor's desk. "The poor kid was nearly dead when we found him."
"In all honesty, Sir… I was surprised he was still alive," the Doctor replied, and turned his attention back to his papers and muttered, "I was even more surprised that you guys would have even brought him in."
"Yes, well… That's a story for another time." With another deep breath to expel his tension, The Wutian took another sip of his coffee and then sat forward to get more personal and serious with the Doctor. "However, given the fact that you saved that boys life, I'm not about to accept that there is nothing you can do for Rufus."
"I'm not giving up, Sir."
"I didn't say that."
"I went over the research that you gave to me from Kurn and Reno," said the Doctor as he turned his attention back over to Tseng and pushed the file away from him, "If we had the Jenova cells…"
"That ya were fuckin dyin."
"Gaia…" he said, and stuffed another piece of food into his mouth while averting his eyes to the floor. "Where the hell did you hear that?"
"I broke into your fucking surveillance after your stupid fucking attack!" I growled at him, and pushed him again to get him out of my way so I could grab a bottle from the cupboard and go back into the living room to see how and what the She-Devil, Erryn, was doing.
"Ya keepin an eye on yer watch?" I curtly asked her, and took a large drink from the bottle as Rufus followed behind me to snatch it out of my hands and smash it against the wall, causing me to angrily retort, "That was an expensive bottle!"
"Why the fuck wouldn't I be watching my watch?" she asked, completely ignoring the way that Rufus and I were acting towards each other. Truth was, she'd seen it all before.
"I didn't want to tell you because I knew how you'd react!" he forcefully said, and then he pushed me back roughly by the shoulder.
"Oh?" I asked, and pushed him back in retaliation, "And how the fuck is that?"
"Like the deranged sociopath that you are!"
"You know, Reno… You should really be taking it easy," Erryn piped up, as a reminder that I probably shouldn't have been acting like the overtired, crazed maniac that I was acting like, and then she rested her elbows on the table with a sigh as she stared at the pictures of Rufus, "Have you taken your pills yet?"
"Would you shut the fuck up?" I yelled, and smacked her across the back of the head, just before Rufus grabbed my wrist and I angrily pulled it away from him while turning what she said to me toward Rufus. "You're the one that should be takin it fuckin easy!"
"Did you take your pills?" he asked, completely ignoring mine and Erryn's interaction all of the sudden and staring at me like he was truly unimpressed.
Grabbing both bottles out of my pockets, I dumped the correct number of pills in my hand in such an overly-obvious manner to prove that I really hadn't lost my touch at acting like a complete moron, and stuffed them in my mouth while chewing on the bitterly offensive capsules with my mouth open so they could both make sure that I was being a good little boy and taking my damned medicine!
All the while, Rufus stood there with his cold eyes locked on me like he was really not impressed.
"Could you possibly be any more dramatic?" he growled at me and smacked me across the face out of pure reaction, and then he grabbed me quickly when I decided that it was my cue to leave the fucking apartment and he pulled me toward him with a quick apology.
"No!" I spat, and pushed him away from me, "Don't fuckin waste yer breath, ya fuckin asshole!" Then I pushed him into the couch again to get him the fuck away from me, and brushed my hair back with both my hands and held them there while trying to calm myself down. I was well-aware of how I was acting; I just couldn't seem to stop myself from doing it though. After a few deep breaths and keeping my eyes closed, I muttered, "She fuckin knows where I can get the cells."
"So, she's blackmailing you," Rufus pointed out, and pressed his hand to his temple to alleviate an apparent headache that was coming on.
"Yeah," I said, and pushed her hard enough that she had to steady herself with her arm on the floor after I handed Rufus an elixir and he took it.
"I see." Then he leaned forward and stuffed another piece of food in his mouth, before he curled his finger into one of the locks of her hair from behind, causing her to scrunch her shoulders and attempt to lean away from his touch while he pulled on it until he finished chewing. "Aren't you worried that I might kill you for such an act of sedition?"
"I know how this virus acts," she answered coldly, refusing to back down or to turn to meet his eyes, "I think I'd rather take my chances."
"Hm," he said, and pulled his finger away while stuffing another piece of food into his mouth, swallowing in a fashion that suggested he hardly chewed it. Then he stared at the back of her head for a long moment before he reminisced, "You remind me of someone."
With a snort, she looked at her watch again and silently cursed.
"What?" I asked, and tensed up again. What the fuck could possibly go wrong now?
"My watch stopped."
"Fer Fuck's sake!"
"Reno, would you calm down." Rufus sternly said, with his mouth full, and patted at the empty spot beside him in an attempt to get me to sit down.
"What? I AIN'T FUCKIN CALMIN DOWN!" I shrieked, and threw my hands up in the air. "Every fuckin time I turn around, somethin is blowin up in my face!"
"Well, behaving like an out of control maniac isn't going to help matters much," he coldly answered, and stuffed another piece of food in his mouth as if he was at a point to where he really didn't give a shit.
"You miserable sonuvabitch!" I hissed, and started pacing while grabbing a cigarette and placing it in my mouth as Rufus calmly asked Erryn what time she took the drop at, and that his watch was working just fine.
After a few moments of me pacing and then whacking one of Rufus' pictures of his stupid hound onto the floor, Erryn felt that she would take a walk down memory lane. "He was the same with Haldric," she said, without so much of a thought, and as a repercussion, I practically dived across the floor and smashed her into the base of the couch.
"What kind of death-wish do you fucking have?"
"Yes. He has quite the temper," Rufus agreed, and got up to casually pull me off of her. "However, I must request that you never mention that name around him." With a bit of a grimace, he held me by my waist while I struggled with him, and he caressed the backs of his fingers along my scar, "I'm not particularly fond of the effect it has on him."
"Yer both assholes," I muttered, when I realised my struggles were deemed futile by Rufus' inhuman strength.
"It's time to take that injection now, Erryn," he casually said, and then he brushed his lips against my ear and whispered, "Would you listen to your voice?" while I made one last attempt to struggle out of his contemptuous hold. "You're going to wind up damaging yourself beyond repair."
"Like you give a shit," I whined, and let myself go limp in his arms again.
"Please, Reno…" he said quietly enough for only me to hear and tightened his hold more protectively around me, while Erryn gave herself the shot and sat there with a look on her face like she really didn't know what the hell to expect. "I never wanted to hurt you." With a light brush of his nose against my jaw, he confessed in a low and broken tone that, "I was afraid I'd lost you… I'm sorry."
Clearing her throat uncomfortably and averting her eyes from us, Erryn tapped her fingers on the coffee table and muttered out, "That clone in the Cryo Lab… His cells are healthy and pure."
"Huh?" I said at the same time that Rufus said, "What?" At that very moment, we both completely forgot about everything else that existed around us.
"His cells… He has pure Jenova cells in him."
"And you know this… how?" Rufus asked, as he let go of me and placed his hand on my shoulder to ensure that I stayed by his side.
"When you released me from your watchers, I came across the lab… I was looking for other alternatives to study Reno's condition, and you gave me free reign," she added, in an attempt to remind him that she wasn't up to causing any trouble before continuing to say, "And I noticed that you had a stasis pod calibrated for Reno's physiology."
"What?" I said, with a sudden act of surprise and attempted to step forward.
"Erryn," Rufus said, with a bit of a 'let's not go there right now' kind of tone, and tensed his grip into my shoulder to emphasize the fact that he really didn't want to discuss that at the moment. "What does that have to do with the clone?"
With a bit of a grimace, I grabbed his wrist to get him to ease up on me and was about to start on another tangent about what the fuck he was doing with a stasis pod calibrated for me, but Erryn continued with her confession, and Rufus' threateningly darkened glare kept me silent.
"Well, I figured out what it was for and noticed that some of the adjustments were dangerously off…"
"Kurn," Rufus said darkly, and pulled me closer to him by the waist when he let go of my shoulder in anticipation of me bolting.
"I dunno…" she said and shook her head, "It's possible." Then she pushed herself off the floor and pulled a cigarette out of her pocket and sat down on the couch. "Anyway, I figured I'd fix it…"
"Did you?"
"Yeah," she answered, and lit her cigarette. Then she pulled the ashtray on the coffee table closer to her. "I'll be honest with you… I don't like your little… junkyard dog…"
"Bitch," I hissed, and almost moved away but Rufus tightened his grip.
"But I don't want to see anything bad happen to him…" With a shake to her head, she scanned her eyes across the coffee table like she was reading something and then tapped her ashes into the tray. "From what I've seen… I think he's paid his dues."
"You know him well?"
Cautiously, she moved her eyes from both me and Rufus in a form of careful study before she answered, "I'd rather not go there."
"Very well." Nodding, Rufus pulled me back a little more protectively and rested his chin on my shoulder. "Perhaps you would like to tell me how your corrections relate to the clone then?"
"When I was done, I went to clean up and noticed one of the lights was flashing on an occupied pod," she answered, and took a heavy drag from her cigarette. "So, I figured I'd check on it…"
With a gesture to help explain herself, she waved her hand in front of her and scratched at her scar. "It was nothing major… the oxygen level was off. So, I adjusted it. I thought nothing of it, and went about my business afterwards." Snorting, she took another drag and then flicked her ashes again. "I've been around long enough to not even bother thinking of asking any questions to myself, never mind any of you guys… I just figured I'd fix it since I was there."
"There's more… obviously," Rufus said, to get her to get on with the story.
With a nod, she looked back down at the coffee table. "After Reno recovered, I noticed that he'd started researching heavily and taking off all over the place. Of course, you constantly sent me and Rude after him to keep an eye on both him and his health. But it got my curiosity peeked."
"Whore!" I spat, and attempted to wriggle out of Rufus' hold while hissing, "Ya jus wanted leverage!"
"Let her finish, my love," he smoothly said into my ear, and placed a small kiss on my cheek to calm me down.
With an uncertain look towards me and Rufus, she nodded to herself and scratched at her scar again. "So… I decided to start trackin him… Find out what he was after. And when I found out, I remembered the clone."
"So you decided that you'd run tests?"
"Yeah," she admitted to Rufus, and nodded before taking a drag from her cigarette again, "I didn't wanna have to do what I did…"
"It's understandable," Rufus mused, with an odd sense of understanding that he rarely ever showed. "However, I can't say I'm very pleased with such a deviant act. I would have preferred it if you were forthright from the beginning."
"If I'd known it was for saving a life…" she said, and then she shook her head while muttering out a curse, and something about how she never really knew what she was doing when it came to anything. "I dunno…" After another drag to her cigarette, she stamped it out in the ashtray and then rubbed at her eyes. "I honestly don't know what I would have done… There's no point in attempting to bullshit."
Angrily, she stood up and apologised to Rufus for not coming clean sooner, and then she asked if it was okay if she left to run some tests on herself because she was still a bit nervous as to whether or not what we did worked. "It won't take me long… Then I can extract those cells for you. It won't do any harm to the clone. From what I've studied, he'll regenerate them."
Regenerate them? How come I never thought of any of this?
I could've kissed Erryn if I wasn't so angry for no reason whatsoever. So, instead, I wound up kissing Rufus. That was of course, before he dragged me into the bedroom and told me to get some fucking sleep while pushing me onto the bed because I was acting like a crazed maniac. Then he locked the damn door so that I couldn't get out.
"I'm sorry, Reno," the bastard said from the other side with a mouth full of food again, "But it's for your own good."
Yeah… whatever…
He was probably right anyway.
Probably…
By the time morning came around, and I was actually well-rested for the first time in three months, I got up and went about my usual morning routine of making Rufus his breakfast and all the other things that I usually did before I got so obsessed over trying to correct all the mistakes that went wrong in our lives.
Erryn had gone about her business and turned out to be even more agreeable than she was before she was finally released from the curse I'd plagued her with, and the tests she ran on herself turned out fine.
To top things off, Rufus decided that due to the fact that I trusted her for whatever reason he couldn't quite make out, that he would give her the benefit of the doubt… as long as she was watched without knowing she was being watched. Whether or not that would actually sit well with me though, was still to be foreseen.
To be quite honest, I didn't like the way that the two of them interacted, and the fact that he mentioned something about her reminding him of someone, really set my nerves on edge.
Oh well, I'm sure it was just paranoia, because it seemed to be something I was panicking over with everyone that Rufus interacted with.
But I'm sure it wasn't jealousy…
Anyway, the Hell-Bitch was up before I was that morning, and even though I called her a whore in front of Rufus, he thought nothing of it. He figured I was just being an ass by calling her that, leaving both me and Erryn somewhat relieved over the fact that we would have had a lot of explaining to do if he suspected anything. But that wasn't really all that important when I considered everything else that needed to be tended to as a result of simply just being alive.
So besides all that, Erryn started her collaboration with Rufus' Doctor on how they would best go about freeing Rufus from the ailment that threatened to consume him. The decision between them, including Tseng who'd managed to pull himself away from his daily workload, was to begin the procedure as soon as possible.
In fact, it was Tseng's idea to even see if he could get Rufus treated right at that very moment.
But we were talking about Shinra. It was a place that the outside world saw as perfect even though they chose to hate us. What they didn't know, and we chose to keep it a secret under lock, key, and anyone's life who attempted to spill the beans, was that everything that went on within our perfect little Shinra world, was far from ever being remotely perfect, and when I spoke to Rufus about when the best time would be to get him treated, he mentioned that he'd have to hold it off for a couple of days.
"What?" I asked in astonishment, while he sat at the table and ate his lunch, "What the fuck'r ya takin about?"
"Something has happened at Junon," he casually answered after finishing the bite that he took. "I'm required to check on the progress."
"Yer fuckin kiddin me!"
"I apologise," he said sincerely, and grabbed me by the waist to pull me onto his lap, "But I'm sure I'll be all right for two more days."
"Two more days," I muttered, and rested my head back onto his shoulder while squeezing his hand with a bit of annoyance. "I'm beginnin ta think that ya don't wanna get any better."
Instead of responding directly, he simply kissed me on the side of the face and muttered something about the fact that he would be more than happy to do anything for me, but the matter at Junon was a matter of importance at that moment.
As far as Rufus was concerned, business didn't stop just because he'd been sick all his life and Junon would be tended to first. "The Turks will be accompanying me…" he quietly said into my ear, while running his fingers through the back of my hair, "All of them… even Tseng." Then he started to brush his lips along my jaw and run his hand down the open part of my shirt, "They'll be there to make sure that nothing goes wrong, and that I'm okay."
With a deep breath, he placed his lips against mine when I turned towards him, and then he slid his tongue into my mouth with an exploration for acceptance before pulling away for a much needed breath and rubbing his nose to mine.
"Will that set your mind at ease?"
"I don't wantcha goin without me," I mumbled, and stood up to take his plate away. "When do ya hafta go?"
"This evening… and I'd prefer it if you'd stay here." After I put the plate on the counter, he came up behind me and started to pull me out of the kitchen by the front of my shirt while pressing his mouth to mine again. "You're still not well, and I want you to stay close to Erryn."
"Ya trust me 'nuff to stay that close ta her?" I teased, with a touch of cruelty to my tone in order to get him back for picking the worst possible time to tend to business. Then I undid his front buttons and started sliding his shirt off his shoulders
"If you value your life and hers…" he started, while we both gave up on our destination and started to fall to our knees in the middle of the living room, "Then I believe I can."
"Ya'd better fuckin call me when ya get there."
"Nnng… Gaia… Can't you take that off first?"
"What the fuck for?"
"You're an insane maniac," he muttered, as I guided him onto his side and manoeuvred behind him. "Of course I'll call you… I'll need to hear your voice after such a long trip-ahhh… What the hell are you doing?"
"Mmmm… Nothin… Ya like the sound of my voice?"
"There isn't much that I don't like about you… f-ffff-fuck!"
"Ya like that?"
"Gaia… Yes…"
All in all, I couldn't really say that the day was going to be a total disaster, even if Rufus packing his bags to go on a business trip that I didn't see the importance of was the main event. Why he couldn't just send someone else to deal with his stupid business over some kind of dumb 'workers dispute' between the new Soldiers and the old ones was completely beyond me. But I guess that's why I wasn't the President of the company.
After all, I probably would have just gone and shot them all and then hired new ones to replace the old ones in order to solve the problem.
According to Rufus though, that was hardly a lucrative way to deal with such things… even if he did see the appeal to it.
"I spoke with my Doctor," he told me, as he went through the bathroom to grab his pills and all of his other personal objects, "And I've scheduled the procedure for the morning of my return."
"Ya sure ya hafta go?" I asked, while popping a pain-killer into my mouth and following him all over the place, "Who's gonna keep me company?"
"Gaia, Reno…" With a bit of frustration and his back to me, he pulled a long, red hair off of his bag and stared at it for a moment before placing it in his pocket. "You have no problem taking off for days… or even weeks… when it's something of concern for yourself."
Shaking my head briefly in an attempt to shake off and ignore what he just did with my hair, I admitted that I might have been a little selfish when it came to certain things. "I'm selfish, Babe."
"I never doubted that for a second."
"Pompous ass," I muttered, and went over to his drawer to grab a pair of his pyjamas for him. "Yer selfish too."
"I'm aware of that," he confided, like he really didn't care about it either, and then he looked around in a bit of confusion for a moment, "Where's my gun?"
"Dunno," I answered, as I placed his pyjamas in the bag. Then I remembered that it slid under the sofa earlier, when we were… "I'll get it… I think it's under the couch."
With his brow cocked, he snickered lightly and then walked over to the closet to grab another outfit for the next day. I suppose it wouldn't come as a shock to say that it was exactly the same as all the other outfits that he owned… yeah… probably not. So, anyway, while he did that, I went to move the sofa over so I could grab his gun for him and bring it back into the room. Then I just stood there, unable to take it anymore…
For years that little freak had been taking strands of my hair and sticking them in his pocket, and it had finally gotten to me.
"What the fuck are ya doin with my hair?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Ya know what I'm talkin about… Ya started doin it when ya took over the Turks."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," he casually said, and then he walked over to me to place a kiss on my lips.
"Whatever, Babe," I said, when he pulled away and grabbed his coat to put it on, and then I muttered out the word "Freak" when a subtle knock on the front door broke my train of thought.
With a devious smile, he looked at me as a glint shone in his eyes before he opened the door to let Tseng in. "Never ask a question in which you don't want to know the answer to," he purred at me, right before he started to walk out of the apartment, and Tseng nodded at me while unnecessarily requesting that I keep an eye on Elena for him.
"Yeah… well ya'd better keep an eye on Rufus," I replied, as a playful retort, and then I frowned as the door closed behind them, leaving me there to fret over the fact that anything could go wrong, given the track record of my life.
After an hour of trying to keep myself occupied by hanging out at Elena's with her new daughter, and then another hour of harassing Erryn about Rufus and myself, I decided that I'd sit at the bar on the third floor and have a few drinks before going back up to the apartment with my worries over why Rufus hadn't called yet.
He should've arrived at Junon by now, I thought to myself while I poured myself a glass of bourbon and lit a cigarette. It's only a two hour trip.
But being the stubborn ass that I was and attempting to convince myself that he was just in a meeting, or some other redundant and boring task was tying up his time, I refused to call him to let him know that it was starting to get to me, especially after five hours had passed and I still hadn't heard anything.
As a result, I wound up calling Elena to see if she'd heard from Tseng at all during that time, and she simply said that sometimes things take a little longer than expected and that she wasn't really worried.
"You know how it is," she said, while trying to console her baby on the other line. "They get there thinking that everything's going to be just fine, and then all Hades breaks loose… They're probably in a meeting that lasted way longer than they anticipated."
"Yer talkin like a Turk again, Babe," I said to her in a playful attempt to alleviate my own worries, and figured I'd walk into the bathroom to start undressing and take a bath to relieve some of my stress.
"Yeah, well drinking yourself into submission isn't going to help you alleviate your worries," she answered back, and hushed her baby when it started to cry a bit. "Why don't you come over if you're feeling that way…? Some company might help us both."
"So, ya are worried," I accused, and slid my shirt off.
"I'm always worried, Reno," she admitted, and giggled a bit to relieve her own tension. "So… ya gonna come over?"
"Nah…" I said, and kicked my shoes off. "I think I'm just gonna take a bath an try ta sleep it off."
"Alrighty then… suit Yourself." With a sigh, and a slight Elena-style curse, which really wasn't much of a curse by they way, she muttered about how she would just love to sit down and have a drink of her own if she could. Then she added something about how she might just hit the sack herself. "But if you feel you need the company, don't worry about waking me up," she added, with a slight hope in her tone.
"I'll keep that offer in mind, Babe," I said, before we gave our usual goodbyes and hung up.
After a quick bath and another bourbon, I sat myself down on the sofa when the PHS finally rang and it was Rufus' number. "'Bout fuckin time," I muttered to myself and hit the connect button to receive the call. "What the fuck took ya so long?" I asked, with a bit of an edge and a slur to my voice, "Them Soldiers run into a monetary dispute?"
"I wouldn't know anything about that," came a clear and sly voice on the other line that made my skin crawl all over from the unexpected wave of horror, and my heart stop in mid-beat. "But I do think I know why you're so taken with this pretty little blonde of yours."
"Fuck…"
"My-my… Whatever happened to your voice, Reno?" In a tone of amusement, he added without expecting an answer, "You sound like someone's rammed an energy cell down your throat."
Gaia… With a quick swipe to the sudden outburst of sweat above my upper lip, I got up abruptly and walked over to the weapons cabinet to pull out my EMR and growled through my teeth, "I ain't in the mood fer yer games, Aldrich."
"Oh, but this one's going to be a blast…" With emphasis on a feigned excitement and cruel laughter, he continued in an almost musical tone. "He's very pretty, by the way. Although, I must admit that I've always been more partial to a certain backstabbing redhead…" he added bitterly. "But that's not what's important right now, especially for what I have in mind."
With another cruel chuckle, I heard the strike of a match on the other end, along with the quick puffs of him lighting his cigarette. "But I must confess, I'd love to see you one more time before all of this excitement is over and done with. It would mean so much to me if you were here to watch," he said, before he took the first drag from his cigarette, and then he cheerfully added, "I understand your girlfriend is quite ill."
"Don't you fuckin touch 'im, Aldrich," I hissed, while I hitched my rod onto my belt.
"Why not?" he asked, with a careless tone that threatened to consume every last nerve of control that I had, "He seems to like it."
Fuck…
"What the hell've ya done ta him, ya sonuvabitch?"
"I don't want to ruin anything for you. I think I'd rather have you come and see for yourself." With another drag to his cigarette, I heard the hiss of someone else on the other end, and Aldrich muttered with his hand over the phone, "You like that?" Then his voice became more clear and musical again as he removed the obstruction from the PHS and chuckled at me.
"I guess I can see why he's taken with you, Reno…" And with a feigned poutiness, he added, "He seems to like being hurt."
"Ya fuckin piece a shit… Where the fuck are ya?"
"Uh-uh-uh… We'll play the game my way. I think I'll have more fun making you guess." With another drag to his cigarette, and another grunt from the other end that didn't come from him, he mused over the fact that, "It's too bad the Turks didn't have the resilience that he has. I could almost swear that your little lover is getting off on this."
"Fer Gaia's sake, Aldrich! Ya sick fuck! What the fuck do ya want from me?"
"From you? Nothing. From what I recall, you have nothing good to give, and your role is no longer necessary in this game," he coldly answered. "However, I would love nothing more than to see you actually feel something for someone other than yourself for a change… especially when they die. Call me a sucker… for old time's sake."
My knees went weak, and I slid down the wall to sit on the floor from a lack of the ability to stand anymore.
My role?
"Ya've been usin me the whole time ta wear 'im down…" I said, with a sudden dead wash of coldness at the realisation that I'd been the perfect tool for that Sadistic psycho. "Ya sent Kurn in ta get ta him, an ya found I'd suit yer purpose better."
"I have no desire to verify that. It would simply ruin the fun."
"Ya don't need ta verify it, ya twisted fuck… I know the way ya like ta play yer sick fuckin games… I was there…"
After another drag to his cigarette and a wolfish chuckle, his mannerism completely changed from the playful light that he was carrying, and he confided with a dangerously low and viciously feral tone. "You don't have a leg to stand on, Reno, and I don't know how much longer you're pretty little lover is going to last before his metabolism turns on him to a point beyond repair.
"So if I were you, I'd quit with the bullshit questions and accusations that you know you're not going to get anywhere with, and start working on how the hell you're going to save your precious. Little. Bitch!"
"Strike a nerve? Why doncha tell me how I'm supposed to find ya then? Since ya wanna see me so fuckin badly again."
"You're a smart little wonder, Reno… I'm sure you'll discover my whereabouts soon enough." And then with a chided snort, he added before hanging up and leaving me with nothing but dead air, "You're a Gaia-damned freak-show when it comes to shit like that."
Shit!
Of all the fucking times that that son of a bitch could have played his cards. He chose Rufus' weakest moment. He must have been watching us the whole time. What was more disturbing was that it was Rufus he was after the whole time, and he'd been using me as a pawn to break him down to a state that made him attainable.
Once again, I was nothing more than a tool in someone else's destructive plan.
Expendable piece of shit, Reno… "That's what ya are…" With a bitter snicker, I held my EMR in front of me and studied it for a bit in an odd sense of sickening fascination, "An that's what ya'll always be."
After banging my head hard enough on the wall behind me to feel the pain, I closed my eyes and sucked back on my bottom lip while figuring that the Son of a Bitch would have found it most fitting to take Rufus and the others to the Nibelheim Mako Refinery. That's just the way he was. Considering everything else that the bastard seemed to know about us, he would have known that the Refinery would have been shut down and would have found it the most fitting place to take them.
"Not fuckin personal, my ass…" I muttered bitterly, and took a deep breath before I pushed myself shakily off the floor and ran down to Rufus' office to grab the floor plans for the refinery. It didn't have the same layout as the original, and I'd have to know everything that there was to know about it if I was going to even remotely succeed.
I knew I was no match for Aldrich. I never was. Even if I was lucky enough to have the aid of my limit, that bastard couldn't feel anything anyway, and I had Hojo to thank for that.
"I'm sorry, Babe," I muttered to a small picture of a young Rufus on his desk. He had his green-eyed, mutated Guard Hound by his side. The same Guard Hound that gave up its own life in order to protect the one person that it bonded with all those years ago in a little kid's bedroom. Dark Nation, Rufus called him, because that was all Rufus ever really knew.
And it was a Dark Nation…
Those cold piercing eyes of his chastised me, even through his picture, and warned me not to do something so foolish. But I pulled the earring out of my ear anyway and put it on his desk for him. "I know ya ain't gonna be happy…" I said, and opened up his laptop so I could leave him a pathetic message with a lame excuse, "But I think I'm runnin outta lives…"
With a sigh and a rub to my eyes after pleading with him to live his life as best he could without me, if it was to come to that, I closed the laptop and prayed silently to all of the Gods, and even the demons and the angels, in hopes that one of them, any of them, would just fucking hear me for once.
Then I pulled out my PHS and dialled a reluctant number while walking over to Rufus' window so I could stare out over the town one last time after rubbing my eyes again and clearing my throat.
"Yeah…"
"Reno? Is everything all right?"
"No… I dunno… look… I-I need yer help…" I painfully said to the one person I never wanted to put in the position I was asking of them… "Cloud."
Revised: August 14, 2010