A/N: Before anyone tries to stick me in the stocks and throw tomatoes (or potatoes) at me, yes, I know, this chapter is ridiculously, obscenely short. In order to do justice to the scenes that come immediately after it (which will by default be significantly longer), I wanted the extra day to work on them. So rather than skip a day of updating, you get a morsel of prose to tide you over. Okay? Ok. :)
On with the fic!
Chapter 37: Pick Your Poison
"What about magical fireworks?" Morgana asked, then paused. "Can we even do magical fireworks?"
Gaius leaned back against the table from his perch on his bench and simply raised an eyebrow. They had been brainstorming diversion plans in Gaius' chambers for the last hour. It was very late and all the candles in the room were burning low. As the conversation wore on, the suggestions had gone from unusably mundane to increasingly implausible.
Morgana sighed dramatically and ran a hand through her long wavy tresses. I'm at my wit's end…why can't either of us think of a viable plan?
She resumed pacing and tried again.
"Hmm, what about poisoning Uther?"
"Morgana," Gaius said, his voice deathly serious. "That's treason. Don't even jest about that."
"I didn't mean actually kill him!" Morgana replied, affronted. "I meant just enough to create chaos in the council chambers during supper and keep all the guards and servants occupied."
Gaius shifted uncomfortably. "Poisons shouldn't be used lightly, even in non-lethal doses. I won't risk the king's life that way."
"What about me?" Morgana asked suddenly, spinning around to face Gaius.
"What do you mean?"
"Give me a non-lethal dose," Morgana proposed, her hand gestures growing increasingly animated as the idea took shape in her mind. "Uther and the whole court will be distracted and it will allow you, me, and Gwen to all have valid alibis for-"
Gaius interrupted, "Morgana, I will not risk your life. That is out of the question."
"You can administer an antidote right away, so I'll be fine," Morgana countered.
Gaius crossed his arms.
"No."
"Or I could fake it entirely!" Morgana pleaded. This is the only usable idea we've had so far-we've got to make it work!
Gaius relaxed a little. He thought aloud, "Then I could administer an entirely benign potion and claim it's an antidote-"
Morgana clapped her hands and nearly jumped up and down. "Exactly! Perfect!"
Gaius stood and began looking through a shelf of vials as he mused further.
"Well done, Morgana-this just might work."
He retrieved a small bottle of green liquid and set it on the workbench before retrieving a pair of thick, worn volumes from a shelf. Sitting down at the table again, he slid one of the volumes across the table toward Morgana, who crossed the room and sat opposite him. She looked at him, then at the tomes, then back at him expectantly.
Gaius smiled and answered her unspoken question.
"Philumenus' De venenatis animalibus eorumque remediis, volumes one and two. We've got a lot of ground to cover. Time to 'pick your poison!'"
They both laughed and eagerly got to work.
A/N: So what'd you think? Fun factoid, the Latin book title/author are actually legit—a physician of that name from roughly the 4th century AD wrote a manuscript by that title about poisonous animals and remedies ;) Oh, the things one learns from obscure internet searches! ;)
Guest review replies:
Nance: Haha, your response was /exactly/ what I was aiming for when I wrote ch 35 & 36. ;) I'm so pleased you enjoyed it!