Special thanks to:
Pearl Darkness.
I AM HERE!
After being inactive for two or three weeks, I am finally back.
Note: I wrote this before the series got 100 followers.
Alright, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!
I do not own RWBY.
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Dear RWBY #28
Start.
"Hello guys! Welcome to another Dear RWBY!" Ruby Rose did the usual greeting in her usual hyperactive state.
"We're at ninety-nine follows now! One more, and then we can have a grand celebration!"
"Please, no alcohol." Weiss scowled, "I don't want to deal with a drunk Yang."
"I agree with princess." Blake said, then paused for a bit before continuing, "That feels weird to say."
"Alright, let's jump into the question! Let's hope that after this episode, we can reach a hundred follows!" Their leader passed her scroll to her teammate, "Here Blake, it's your turn."
The Faunus grabbed the scroll, and her face sank upon reading the question.
"It's a long question isn't it?"
"It's not LastOrder, Weiss." Ruby commented.
"How did you-"
"No offense bae, but, you're like, extremely easy to read." Yang shrugged.
"What's with that white girl accent?" Blake raised an eyebrow at her partner. Battle partner.
"Well we are white girls." Said partner answered.
"Are we?"
"But you have Chinese name." Ruby questioned.
"Yeah! So am I a white girl? Miles, Kerry, explain this!"
"Who?"
"It's okay Rubes! Blake and I will Kerry this burden on our own. Can't afford to let you white roses know the tragic truth of the universe we're in!"
Weiss face-palmed while Ruby just tilted her head.
"Are you face-palming because of the pun, or the context of Yang's statement?" The Faunus gave the heiress a look.
"Both."
"I will go to extra Miles just to protect your innocence."
"Fucking stop."
"That's so out of character, princess."
"Well, between volume one and six, she's changed a lot."
"And this is a parallel universe." Blake nodded.
"Blake, forgive me for saying this but…" Little red spoke, "Are you purposely joining Yang on her...crazy outbursts because you were trying to avoid reading the question aloud?"
The Faunus gasped.
"Not according to Keikaku anymore is it?" Weiss smirked.
"Weiss, where did you learn that term?!" Yang put on a 'the scream' expression as she yelped.
"I told you she watches anime! She just doesn't wanna admit it." Ruby chuckled.
"Okay, okay, I will read the question." Blake interrupted as she sighed. She took a deep breath before reading aloud, "TheSetupMage asked, Dear RWBY: What do you think Velvet's best attribute is-her magnanimous personality, her humble yet stylish yet beautiful appearance, her excellent photography skill, or her kickass battling ability and/or weapon(if you know what it is, I hear she prefers not to spotlight it or herself. I'm just thankful that we who try to follow her dogma do know, but we won't spoil it for you.) P.S. I'm not a creepy stalker, nor would I deign such arrogance as to call her my waifu. Our relationship is more like one between a Goddess and a practitioner of her faith, who, while imperfect, still wishes to spread her words of peace, love, good works, and humble demeanour. P.P.S. Ruby, can-opener CRDL for me, would you? The Velveteen One may be capable of infinite forgiveness to those who deserve it, but I feel like they haven't done enough good works or prayer to Her Perfection to deserve forgiveness. May The Velveteen One guide you to paradise."
She was panting for breaths afterwards. It was strange - the Faunus didn't even sweat during battle training, but reading a long question seemed to tire her down a lot. Maybe it was a question that none other than herself could answer; not even IBurn could know the truth behind this.
"That sounds even creepier than a stalker." Weiss said nonchalantly.
"Retort is on point." Yang continued.
"Dear TheSetupMage, you obviously have no idea what happened to Team CRDL after they bullied Vel- I mean, The Velveteen One have you?" Ruby crossed her arms and nodded proudly.
"Let's ask her directly." Blake covered the scroll with her hand.
The screen was black for a second, then the camera switched to The Velveteen One's dorm. She was sitting on her bed while Fox stood beside her.
"Where is Coco and Yatsuhashi?" The leader of Team RWBY asked.
"They went out to do some...cleaning." Velvet answered.
This had caused the blonde to laugh merrily as she spoke, "Oh boy...that Cardin really doesn't learn his lessons...haha…"
"We're doing a vlog at the moment, Velvet." Ruby ignored her sister.
"I'm aware."
"And it's best for you to not know the question." Weiss said.
"That's a good adWeiss." Blake made a pun with a straight face. Yang laughed even louder after hearing it while the heiress herself just scowled in annoyance.
"Huh?" The bunny Faunus tilted her head, not grasping the situation.
"Well, one of our viewers sent in a question requesting Ruby to can-opener CRDL for them. But we figured we'll just get you to tell us what happened with CRDL after that incident in the cafeteria a few days after we enrolled in Beacon." Blake explained.
"May I interrupt?"
"Aw Fox, you don't have to be so shy with us!" Yang smacked his back lightly.
"Perhaps this will do." The man took his scroll out from his pocket and showed a picture to Team RWBY.
The screen then cut to showing the photo - it was a hospital room with four casualties in it. There were thin black bars on their eyes, but their bodies were blurred out entirely.
Velvet let out a nervous laughter as the screen cut back to recording them.
"Is it alright to show this on screen?" Blake turned to Fox.
"Their injuries may require some censorship."
"I mean with the identity."
"A black bar will do! Don't worry Blake, we got this covered!"
"After Coco and Yatsu finished with the 'cleaning', you can expect another set of photos." Fox said.
-beep-
"Since this viewer's question...sounds more like a declaration that he's a stalke-"
The blonde quickly covered Weiss' mouth before she continued and smiled, "Sounds more like his admiration for Velvet written beautifully in paragraphs-"
"Da fuc yu dong!" The heiress' voice was muffled.
The two then fell on the floor and rolled off to the side, disappearing from the screen. Punches and kicks could be heard though.
"It is Weiss to not offend a stalke- I mean, a man of culture like TheSetupMage, Weiss." Blake turned to face the Freezerburn pair and spoke.
"Since we...well, answered your request, I guess that's it for this vlog! I mean admit it TheSetupMage, you just wanna see Velvet in our vlogs." Ruby stuck out her tongue mischievously, "Anyway, feel free to leave a review if you have anything to ask us!"
The sound of princess and the dragon making ou- I mean, fighting could still be heard in the background.
"Drat, why did I say review instead of comment?"
Static noise.
A picture of Weiss drop kicking Yang was shown on screen after the static. It was then zoomed in to show Weiss' magnificent legs. (Note: Once again, they're all in their volume five outfit.)
A sentence then appeared on the lower part of the screen.
IBurn: A (wo)man of culture as well.
End.
#
Believe it or not, I've ran out of jokes in this vlog. I was told to tone down the overflowing gayness and...that has left me nothing to joke about.
And no, Weiss totally did not freeze me and slam my head on my keyboard multiple times after that last bit. After all, I am truly a (wo)man of culakmdakdmakdjkawjakldmlkjsdaasdagt
To the guest that left a review that is impossible for me to answer via PM: The cookie trend is kind of a thing in the FNDM. I know her favorite food is strawberries, but we've never really seen her eating strawberries on screen. Plus, the reader submitted a question asking about cookies so...it's only natural for me to involve cookies. Here, do you want one? They're delicious!
That's all from me, stay strong and PLUS ULTRA everyone - and thank you for reading it till the end.
Until next time!
P.S. I know not everyone reads the A/N, but if you're reading it right now, congratulations! Nah, just wanna announce that the next chapter will be the 100 followers special.
FB: IBurn 'Tank' RWBY Fanfic Author, Pa-treon: Freelancer Tank, Email: battletank dot ff at gmail dot com.
I do not own RWBY.
Special thanks to:
Pearl Darkness.