Chers Angleterre,

Oui you will have to continue for I never give up in the pursuit of l'amour, mon tsudere. Et amende, amende, I will leave your eyebrows alone... I suppose they do offer you some kind of character, and it seems your cochon L'Amérique is not put off by them and that is of course what matters to you, ne pas? As for the small animal metaphors, how could I not compare you to cute lapin when I hardly saw you without one when we were young? What ever happened to that lapin anyway Angleterre? You seemed quite attached to the thing and then one day I came by and it was gone...

Oh mon Angleterre, is this why you are afraid to sleep with me? I assure you I am completely free of STDS! Have you really forgotten that nations only get sick if their economy is in trouble? Silly Angleterre, well if THAT's all the problem is, I will be more than happy to stop by and put your little fears to rest once and for all! As for your 'whore' comment, why would you call the act of making love to be in any way disgusting? You are so old fashioned, I remember when you were a deliquent in your pirate days, so forceful were you then! If you did not drink so much during that time you would remember the nights you pinned MOI to the sheets, I only wish to return the favour!

Though perhaps I might stop if you give into that cochon's cloddish advances... remember if you ever need advice on l'amour you can always come to me, I am the country of romance after all! But if you continue to deny... hon hon hon hon...

Je serai à votre fenêtre ce soir,

Francis Bonnefoy

Francis,

Ugh. You're so think-headed. And shut up about Alfred already! I swear the next person who meantions the words 'Alfred', 'America' or 'ring' is getting blocked! And it died Francis, al long, long time ago. Rabbits don't live as long as normal humans, let alone nations.

And no, that's not why I don't want to sleep with you. I don't want to sleep with you becuase I despise you and refuse to give you the satisfaction. And Scotland got them. I don't know how, I don't know why, but he has STDs. You might want to get tested again. 'Making love' isn't disgusting. Shamlessly fucking with anything that moves is. And shut up! I was drunk!

SHUT UP ALREADY.

Closing the curtains,

Arthur Kirkland