AN: Thank you for your reviews :) As of this chapter I have surpassed the 100 000 word mark! I passed it several chapters ago online, but I'm keeping count on my saved file without all the AN's.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. Catherine Jareau is mine, along with all other characters you do not recognize.

Chapter 34: Going Home

Oh, my sweet summer child!

What do you know about fear?

Fear is for the winter,

when the snows fall a hundred feet deep;

fear is for the Long Night,

when the sun hides for years and children are born and live and die all in darkness.

That is the time for fear, my little Lord.

- Old Nan, Game of Thrones, Season 1 episode 3

September 10, 2011

5:27 am

"JJ are you ready to leave?" Abby asks, leaning against the car with a slight frown on her face as JJ continues to ignore her. Abby tries again, only this time by waving her hand in front of her new friend's face, "JJ! Earth to JJ! Come in JJ!"

JJ blinks, "Oh, sorry Abby. What were you saying?"

Abby sighs, "I was asking if you were ready to leave. You are, aren't you?"

JJ looks around the moderately empty parking lot, a frown emerging on her face, "Emily have you seen Kitty Cat?"

Abby wrinkles her nose at the unfamiliar term, "What?"

"Not a what, a whom. My sister," JJ answers distractedly, "Catherine."

Abby cocks her head, "Wasn't she coming down with that Spencer fellow?"

JJ smiles faintly, "Yes." Her smile turns into a frown, "But I haven't seen him either. Have you? He was supposed to follow us down."

Abby purses her lips; "I think I saw him while you were buckling Henry into his car seat."

"Well, where did he go?" JJ demands.

Abby shrugs, "Somewhere over there," she gestures to the left. "I wasn't really paying attention. I thought he would have come over here. Aren't they going back to the condo with Emily?"

JJ narrows her eyes and ignores Abby's question, instead asking one of her own, "Was my sister with him?" JJ looks over at the SUV parked next to hers, "And when did Emily disappear?"

Abby frowns and takes JJ's keys out of her hand gently, "JJ you're not paying attention to your surroundings. I think it would be safer if I were to drive the three of us back to your house. Just tell me the address and I'll put it in the GPS."

JJ crosses her arms and looks heatedly at her companion, "Abigail Winter, I am not going anywhere until I find my sister!"

Abby winces, "Ouch, my full name." She holds her hands up calmingly, "Alright Jennifer. Emily went off in that direction," Abby gestures to her left. "The same direction your Spencer disappeared in a few minutes earlier."

JJ looks down at Henry, fast asleep in his car seat.

"It's okay JJ," Abby says quietly, "I'll wait with Henry, you go find Catherine."

JJ gives the brunet a pained smile before turning tail and walking quickly around the SUV and out of sight.

Abby sighs, closes her eyes and goes back to leaning against the car.

5:29 am

JJ walks straight into Emily as she rounds a second cement pillar and loses her balance, staggering backwards.

Emily catches and steadies her. "What's wrong Jen?" Emily asks, "You look worried."

"Catherine. Have you seen Catherine?" JJ demands, eyes wild, hands digging painfully into Emily's shoulders.

"What? Yeah. She's back there with Spencer," Emily motions with her head.

JJ sighs in relief and releases Emily's shoulders.

Emily takes one of JJ's hands in her own and squeezes it lightly, "I think you need to go home and sleep Jennifer."

JJ shakes her head and takes her hand back, "I need to see Catherine."

Emily sighs, "Give them a few minutes okay?"

"Why?" JJ asks and focuses on Emily's face instead of looking over her shoulder.

"Catherine fell asleep…" Emily trails off.

"Yes, I know that Emily," JJ replies impatiently, "I was there."

Emily continues, "Spencer woke Catherine up and she didn't remember how she got here…"

JJ frowns, "That isn't uncommon and not generally a cause for concern."

Emily sighs, "Jennifer, Catherine forgot I was alive and didn't believe Spencer when he told her I was."

"Oh," whispers JJ.

Emily is silent.

JJ grabs Emily's hand, "I'm sorry Emily. Did he call you over to see her?"

Emily winces, "Yeah."

"And how did that go?" JJ asks biting her lip nervously.

Emily closes her eyes, "She remembers now."

"Good," whispers JJ.

Emily opens her eyes and says quietly, "I left them alone to say good night. Spencer isn't coming back with us tonight."

JJ smiles faintly, "He's been good to and for her."

Emily smiles back at her friend, "They're good for each other."

"I'm going to wait here till they're done saying good night" JJ says suddenly.

"Are you sure?" Emily asks, concern colouring her voice.

JJ nods decisively, "Yes."

"Alright, I'm going back to the Am-" Emily cuts herself off, "I mean my SUV."

JJ places her hand on Emily's arm, "It's alright Emily. I know the car belongs to your mother. Abby showed up in a car with diplomatic plates, it wasn't difficult to put two and two together."

Emily smiles faintly.

JJ holds out her arms and Emily steps into them gladly.

"Everything will start to get better now," JJ whispers assuredly.

"Will it?" the words slip out uncensored through Emily's lips.

JJ hugs her friend tighter, "Yes it will."

"How do you know?" Emily asks, her voice sounding extraordinarily young.

"Because it has to," JJ answers simply and unwraps her arms from around Emily.

Emily smiles and steps back, "Oddly enough, I find myself believing you."

JJ's lips twitch, "It's the mom voice."

Emily snickers, "I'm going to say good night to Abby and wait for Crierwy (Kree-ree)."

"Good night Emily," JJ says, her voice cracking slightly.

Emily smiles, "Good night Jennifer. Don't let Abby keep you up too late."

JJ nods absentmindedly, her entire focus now taken up on the black SUV hiding Spencer's little blue car.

Emily sighs, turns around and walks off in search of Abby.

5:33 am

JJ frowns as Spencer's car pulls out of its spot and drives away and there is still no sign of her little sister.

Catherine rounds the black SUV that had been obscuring JJ's view on unsteady legs.

JJ walks forwards towards her sister quickly as Catherine looks ready to pass out. JJ notices more concerning things the closer she gets to Catherine. She stops a single step away and studies her baby sister properly: Catherine has very dark circles under her glassy eyes; she's cried away the foundation that was covering it up. Her legs are visibly trembling and her hands are gripping the SUV like a lifeline. "Kitty Cat," she whispers.

"Jenny," the word comes out a whisper of a prayer.

JJ closes the gap with a step and wraps her arms around her sister, "Oh Catherine."

Huge, haunted, blue eyes look up at her, "I didn't remember Jenny. I was sure she was dead and that Spence was lying." "I yelled at him!" she sniffles.

JJ wipes away Catherine's tears. "I'm sure Spencer has forgiven you," she says gently.

Catherine pushes back slightly and spits out, "That's not the point!"

JJ raises an eyebrow and responds patiently, "Then what is?"

Catherine rubs her eyes and frowns. "For a while I actually believed he would lie to me. Never in seven years have I believed that even for a split second. I knew he would refuse to tell me things, but you and everyone else do that all the time, its nothing new. But this time…" she trails off.

JJ frowns, "What do you want me to do, to say?"

Catherine shivers, "Lie to me. Tell me everything is going to be all right. I know it won't. I'm sure there are consequences that have yet to come to light, but I want to pretend for just a moment… Please Jenny?"

JJ exhales in a pained manner. She opens her mouth and words flow out, "It's okay sweetheart. Everything will be okay now. We are all going to go home and get a good night's sleep, without any nightmares. Spencer will forget you called him a liar. Emily will never leave us, and we will never have to go through anything like the past seven months ever again."

Catherine hugs her big sister tightly and whispers blamelessly, "Liar."

JJ allows them to stay there in silence for a moment before she gently tugs on Catherine's arms. "Come on, stand up properly," she says calmly.

"Are you going home now Jen?" Catherine asks quietly as she tries to regain her balance.

"Yes and so are you," JJ responds, helping to steady her sister.

Catherine frowns thoughtfully.

JJ raises Catherine's chin with a solitary finger and looks her in the eyes, "You will always have a place in my home Catherine, but it's okay to live with Emily now that she's come back."

Catherine smiles up at JJ and throws her arms around her big sister. "Love you Jen," she mumbles into JJ's shoulder.

"I love you too Catherine," JJ whispers back. Her lips twitch, "Living with Spencer would be acceptable too."

Catherine blushes and yawns.

JJ wraps an arm around her sister and steers her through the parking lot towards Emily's vehicle. "Come on Kitty Cat, time to get you home to bed," she says soothingly.

Catherine nods and doesn't bother to protest the child-like treatment.

5:39 am

"Are you ready now?" Abby asks, exasperation leaking into her voice.

JJ nods distractedly from the passenger seat, "Yes. Yes I am ready."

Abby's "Good," sounds more like finally! She puts the car in reverse and pulls out of the parking space.

"Abby?" JJ asks quietly a few minutes later

Abby pulls out onto the highway, "Yes JJ?"

"Are we going to have that conversation you mentioned earlier, tonight or would you rather have it in the morning?"

Abby smirks and gestures to the lightening sky, "JJ, it is morning."

JJ sighs.

Abby glances briefly at her new friend in concern, "We can have it when we get to your place if you're not too tired."

JJ's eyes are closed. "Is it a long conversation?" she asks after a moment.

Abby shrugs and takes the off ramp off the highway, "It doesn't need to be. We can cover the important parts tonight and the rest after we wake up later. Maura will probably sleep in so it shouldn't be a problem on that front." She frowns momentarily, "Will Henry sleep in?"

"He doesn't usually sleep past nine even when we let him, but he can play in the playroom and we can keep an eye on him from the living room." JJ whispers, watching Henry sleep in the visor mirror.

Abby stops at a red light and pats JJ's hand, "You should sleep JJ. I don't mind. I have the address in the GPS. I'll just follow it and wake you up when we arrive."

"Thanks Abby," JJ murmurs, closes her eyes and drifts off.

5:50 am

"Wake up JJ," Abby says shaking her shoulder gently.

"What?" JJ mumbles, blinking her eyes blearily.

"You're home JJ," Abby tells her. "I can't get into the house though, I need your keys."

"Henry?" JJ asks, unbuckling her seatbelt and turning around. "Where's Henry?" She asks again. Panic lacing her voice, fear causing her body to tremble.

Abby puts her hand on JJ's shoulder, "JJ! JJ, honey, calm down. He's right here in my arms."

JJ turns her head to look at Abby and, she sighs in relief at the sight of her tiny blonde haired angel fast asleep in Abby's arms.

"Do you want to hold him?" Abby asks frowning at the lingering fear present in JJ's bright blue eyes.

Some of the tension leaves JJ's body at the question. "Yes," she whispers as she climbs quickly out of the car.

Abby gently hands Henry over to his mother. "I'll just get the bags then shall I," she mumbles to herself.

JJ, ignoring Abby, wraps her arms around Henry and covers his sleeping face with kisses.

"Where are your keys JJ?" Abby asks, interrupting the mother son moment.

"They're in my purse," JJ answers, unable to tear her eyes away from her sleeping son.

Abby frowns and sticks her head back into the vehicle, "And where is your purse?"

JJ frowns and turns her head slightly to stare at Abby from the corner of her eye, "In my go-bag, which is in your hand."

Abby lets out a short laugh and places the bag on the hood of the SUV and unzips it. Sure enough, JJ's black purse is sitting right there on top. She opens JJ's purse, the keys are resting on top of the crimson wallet. Abby removes the keys, closes the purse, replaces it in the go-bag and zips it up and places the strap over her shoulder. Then she walks up the iron fence and opens the gate. Abby calls back to the blonde still standing on the sidewalk, "Aren't you coming in JJ?"

"What?" JJ looks up from rocking the still slumbering Henry, "Oh. Yes I just need to get my bag and Henry's too."

Abby snickers, "JJ, I have both of your bags."

JJ sighs and walks up to the gate, which Abby is holding open for her.

Abby looks at JJ in concern, "Are you sure you want to do this now JJ? It's not like we can't talk later."

JJ shakes her head, "No, now is fine. I just need to put Henry down."

Abby nods and studies JJ's key chain and the lock on the door.
"It the gold key Abby," JJ says kindly.

Abby smiles briefly and unlocks the front door.

"The living room is through there," JJ says, taking one arm off Henry to point.

Abby smiles and puts the bags down in the front entrance, "Thanks JJ. I'll go sit down. Do you need any help with Henry?"

JJ shakes her head, "No, I'm alright. I'll be back in a few minutes." JJ slings Henry's bag over her shoulder and walks up the stairs.

6:00 am

JJ walks down the stairs in her pajamas to the soft sound of her kettle boiling away. She enters the kitchen to find Abby moving around opening various cupboards. JJ gives a slight cough to obtain the brunet's attention.

Abby spins around and blushes at being caught.

JJ stands there her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised, "May I help you?"

Abby bites her lip, and gestures to the cupboard, "Do you have any tea that isn't caffeinated?"

JJ nods and smiles, "Yes, would you rather have decaf coffee?"

Abby wrinkles her nose, "I don't drink coffee."

JJ chuckles, "Catherine's funny teas are currently in the cupboard above the fridge."

Abby looks up at the cupboard and frowns, "Isn't that a little too high for her to reach?"

JJ smirks, "Yes."

Abby laughs uproariously. "Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh so loud," She says when she finally gets herself under control, "It's just something I would have done to my brother before he had his teenage growth spurt."

JJ smiles back.

Abby cocks her head and watches JJ curiously, "Does she hide your things as well?"

JJ frowns briefly, "She used to hide the coffee."

Abby snickers and lifts down the green basket filled with various types of teas.

JJ walks across the kitchen and opens the cupboard; she takes out two white porcelain mugs and a teapot.

Abby selects a bag of loose-leaf tea before replacing the others and walking over to the counter to stand next to JJ.

JJ pours water into the teapot, letting it heat up. "Did you want to put on something more comfortable?" She asks, looking at the other woman still in her dress pants and blouse.

Abby smiles, "Oh yes that would be lovely."

JJ pulls out a tray from one of the lower cabinets, "Bathroom is up the stairs and right on your left."

"I will see you in a few then," Abby replies as she walks out of the kitchen.

"I'll be in the living room," JJ calls out to the retreating figure.

6:15 am

Abby wraps her fingers around her tea mug and frowns. She ignores JJ's previous stream of questions and continues her monologue; "In the end it doesn't matter that Emily has come back here to her home. Things would have had to change sooner rather than later regardless. I need to explain something to you Jennifer, Interpol has called me back in."

"Is that where you me Emily?" JJ asks thoughtfully.

Abby smirks, "Yes and No."

JJ frowns, "Abby?"

Abby holds up her hand, "I can't give you a clearer picture than that. I don't know what they have called me back in to do or even which office needs my expertise but I could theorize and extrapolate night and day by myself if I had to."

JJ frowns.

Abby sighs, "It's not going to be easy or safe, even if I am just being called back to do desk work."

JJ puts down her own mug, "What about Maura? How long have you been out of work? I thought you had helped Emily take care of Maura her entire life."

Abby closes her eyes momentarily, "I have, and that is where my problem lies. Emily and Maura will be staying here and I will be returning to the UK."

JJ wrings her hands, "Are you sure Emily is going to stay? And what will happen to Maura if Emily stays here?"

Abby places one of her hands on top of JJ's, "Yes. Emily's dream was to have Maura safe and after that for her to be in a real school, not home schooled by myself in my free time. If things had been different Maura wouldn't exist and I would not have been such an integral part of Emily's life."

"But Abby," JJ whispers.

"No Jennifer," she replies firmly, "It is true. Emily and I are well aware of the situation with Maura was beyond unexpected. We still would have been close but Emily might have actually moved on and had a child with someone else or spent her time raising Declan." Abby smiles faintly.

"Easter?" JJ asks with a frown.

Abby's head snaps up, "No! Definitely not!"

"Then who?" JJ asks. "And-"

Abby sighs, "Jennifer, I'm too tired to argue or go over anything else with you right now. Can we please go to sleep?"

JJ frowns, "Of course Abby, you only had to say something."

Abby closes her eyes, "Thank you."

6:20 am

"Will should be home sometime in the next few hours. I hope he doesn't wake you," JJ says quietly to the brunet when they reach the top of the staircase.

"Don't worry," Abby replies, "I'm too tired to wake up for anything other than your smoke detector."

JJ smiles tiredly and opens her bedroom door, "Night Abby."

"Good night JJ," the other woman answers.

JJ closes her door, sighs and slides down the aforementioned door, coming to rest on the carpeted floor. "Oh Emily, what are we- what are you going to do now?" she whispers into the oppressive silence.

6:21 am

Abby turns away from the master bedroom and walks slowly down the hall past Henry's nursery. She stops before the door at the end of the hall and stares at the black and white sign hanging on a nail: Catherine's Room. She frowns and places her hand upon the door handle. She turns it and after flipping on the light switch, steps into the silent room.

The forest-covered walls paint a stunning scene. The contrast between the well kept room in Emily's condo and the absolute disaster of ripped papers and toppled picture frames scattered all over the floor and bed paints a more chilling picture than the wolves peeking out of the forest ever could.

Abby exit's Catherine's bedroom and closes the door with a sigh. She takes three steps to the left and crosses the threshold into the neutral coloured guest bedroom. Abby wipes away her tears as she crawls under the covers. "What am I going to do now? How do I tell Emily that I have to leave?" She whispers. A silent prayer for strength crosses her mind as she closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep.

All of my memories

Keep you near

In silent moments

Imagine you'd be here

All of my memories

Keep you near

The silent whispers, silent tears

- Within Temptation, Memories

AN2: Sorry it's taken so long to update. My joints were being particularly uncooperative and I was away from home for a week. This chapter is not what I would like it to be, but it's all I've been able to manage in the month I've been working on it. Thank you for reading, please review.