A/N: Ok, guys - final chapter! *biting my nails*. Well, there'll be an epilogue too, so stay tuned for that.

Special thanks once again to my beta REwrites24 for helping me out.

Chapter 35 – I Promise

"Come on, Moony, let's skip dinner," Sirius suggested, nipping playfully at Remus' ear.

"Eager, are we?" chuckled Remus.

Tonight was the night. Remus had told Sirius that he was ready to take the final step.

Truthfully he didn't feel ready at all. His chest felt as numb and hollow as ever, but he didn't think it was going to change anytime soon. And it wasn't fair keeping Sirius waiting any longer. He had been so patient, not once begging for sex. And who knew – maybe it would actually help Remus move on. Maybe a good shag was just what he needed.

They had barely closed the dormitory door behind them before Sirius was all over him, relieving him of his shirt and planting hot kisses down his neck and collarbone.

"God, Moony, I've wanted you for so long," he moaned.

Remus suddenly became nervous. What if he couldn't… perform? He tugged at Sirius' shirt, pulling it over his head and started kissing his chest. Of course he could. Anyone would be able to. Sirius was the hottest bloke in the school and there was hardly a girl (or boy for that matter) who wouldn't die to be in Remus' shoes right now. He should be ashamed of himself. And he was. But not so much for not being more turned on. He was ashamed of himself for stringing Sirius along. He should never have started this. Sirius deserved better than being with somebody who didn't appreciate him fully - whose heart belonged to someone else. Remus should have stopped it as soon as he had realised what it was he was doing. But he just couldn't bring himself do it. It would crush Sirius.

"Me too," he lied and pressed himself against Sirius. They kissed heatedly and let their hands wander all over each other.

"Bed," growled Sirius when Remus pulled off his belt and let it drop to the floor.

They tumbled onto the bed, Sirius landing on top of Remus. He pinned Remus' arms above his head and started ravishing his neck, sucking and scraping his teeth lightly against it.

You're not cheating on him, Remus told himself as he hooked a leg around Sirius' thigh and rolled his hips to meet him.

"Gentler," he whispered to Sirius, because Regulus was and Remus liked it that way.

He thought about the last time they had made love, how Regulus had felt moving against him and panting hot breath into his ear as Remus' hands smoothed down his back.

Suddenly, Sirius stopped his ministrations and sat back on his haunches, his piercing grey eyes scrutinising Remus carefully.

"You're pretending I'm him, aren't you?"

Remus stared back at Sirius and gulped, sure the guilt was written all over his face. Nothing came over his lips; he couldn't bear to hurt Sirius but he couldn't bring himself to lie to his face either.

Sirius held his gaze for a moment, then sighed heavily and flopped down on his back, an arm slung over his face.

"Sirius… I'm sorry. I… don't mean to. I just…"

Remus reached a hand out to touch him, but Sirius batted it away. "Just… don't."

There was silence for a long while. Remus sat on edge, waiting for Sirius to do or say something.

Finally he did. "Remus… there's something I have to tell you. Something I should have told you weeks ago. It's about Regulus."

A knot immediately formed in Remus' stomach. What horrible news could Sirius have that had made him hesitate so?

"What is it? Did… did something happen to him?"

Sirius sighed and sat up, facing Remus. "Not exactly. He didn't go through with it."

"Go through with what?" asked Remus, confused.

"He said no, Remus. He didn't become a Death Eater."

"What?" gasped Remus. "How do you know? Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't you tell me?"

"He told me not to."

"What? Why would he do that?"

"I sort of… made him believe you'd moved on. That he'd hurt you so much you wouldn't take him back," said Sirius, looking extremely guilty.

Remus just stared at him, his mind a mixture of anger and relief. "All this time I've suffered – grieved. And you kept me in the dark. You should have told me!"

"He told me not to," Sirius tried.

"You lied to him! He did the right thing and you lied to him!"

"I'm sorry. I was afraid. I knew you'd run back to him and I'd lose you," said Sirius, sounding so pained that Remus felt his anger ebb away.

"I was afraid to lose you. I just couldn't stand the thought. And he did hurt you. I was so mad at him for making you that miserable."

Remus closed his eyes and sighed. Sirius was right. He would have run back to Regulus and left Sirius heartbroken. Remus had used him. He had used Sirius for comfort, as a substitute, and when he could have the real thing back he'd… And then he thought about Regulus, all alone and unhappy. What had happened to him? Had they hurt him? Had he been disowned?

"What did they do to him? Did they kick him out?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me anything. He still hates me for leaving back then. What are you going to do?" asked Sirius tentatively.

Remus sighed. "I have to go see him, Sirius."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, of course. I've been stupid. I've kept you to myself even though I knew I'm not the one you love."

"But I do love you. I didn't lie about that. I've always loved you."

"Yeah," said Sirius, smiling a little sadly. "I know. But not the way you love him."

"Sirius, I… I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It won't make me feel any better, you know," Sirius said. "Well, what are you sitting here with me for? Go find him."

"But I don't want to hurt you. I made a commitment. I can't just throw you away; it isn't right…"

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and took a couple of deep breaths through his nose. "Of course it's hurting me. But I've been kidding myself thinking this could ever work. I just - I wanted it to. So badly. I kept telling myself that you wanted me. That you just needed a bit of time to forget him and then you'd love only me."

"Sirius," whispered Remus, a huge lump forming in his throat. He took Sirius' hand in his and squeezed it. "I'm so, so sorry for hurting you. I've been such an arse. I can't believe I've treated you like this. I'm so sorry."

"Me too," said Sirius and hung his head. "I'm sorry for lying. To both of you."

"It's okay. I understand why you did it."

"Look, Remus, I'll survive, all right? Now, go. He needs you more than I do. I don't think he has anyone."

Remus looked admiringly at Sirius for a long moment. Then he ran a gentle thumb over his cheek. "Sirius Black, you're an amazing human being. Did you know that?"

"Of course!" Sirius said, forcing a grin. "I keep telling you lot, don't I?"

"Yeah, but I'm not talking about how cool and sexy you are. I'm talking about that big heart of yours."

o0o0o

Remus ran so fast he nearly tumbled down the stairs, first to ground level, then to the dungeons. He reached the entrance to Slytherin, out of breath. Damn. He needed someone who could let him in or fetch Regulus for him.

As if on cue a large group of Slytherins, led by Mulciber, Snape, and Wilkes, appeared around the corner, apparently coming back from dinner.

"Where is Regulus?" Remus asked, not bothering with formalities.

They stopped and Wilkes looked him up and down, an expression of revulsion on his face.

"Who? There's no Regulus here. Slytherin only houses honourable students. There's no room for scum."

"But where is he?"

"Are you deaf?" snarled Mulciber and pulled his wand. "Now, bugger off, or you'll be very sorry you ever came down here. Prefect or not."

Remus realised that he wasn't going to get any answers and that it was probably not the safest place to be, alone facing a flock of Death Eater material. So he turned around and headed back.

Before he reached the stairs he heard running footsteps. He turned and saw a boy, a sixth or seventh year by the looks of him, coming up behind him. He glanced back over his shoulder nervously and motioned for Remus to follow him into an alcove.

"I couldn't say anything back there. Mulciber and those blokes – they sort of run things down here, and if you don't follow their lead you're in for it. And for some reason Regulus has been shunned, and no one is allowed to talk about him or have anything to do with him."

"So where is he, then?"

"He's gone."

"What do you mean he's gone?" Remus asked, a chill gripping him.

"He's moved out of Slytherin. I don't know where to."

"But is he still at Hogwarts?"

"I think so. At least he was… but I haven't seen him the last couple of days. He hasn't been in class. I don't know why. Maybe he's ill."

After checking the infirmary, Remus proceeded to search the rest of the castle but found no Regulus, and no one seemed to know where he was. He found out that he had a room in the teachers' wing and managed to persuade Professor Slughorn to take him to it. But no one answered the door.

Remus was starting to panic, thinking about all the things that could have happened to Regulus. Then he clapped a hand to his forehead. Why hadn't he stopped for a minute and used his head? Where did Regulus always go when he wanted solitude? Outside, of course.

o0o0o

The lakeside, where Remus knew Regulus liked to sit and ponder, was deserted. As was the area around the Stone Circle, and the kneazle enclosure held only kneazles. He checked the stables and finally headed for the hippogriff enclosure; the place they had first started to bond.

And there he was. With his back to Remus he was leaning against the fence, chin resting on his folded arms on the top rail, watching the hippogriffs strut around on the other side.

Remus found himself unable to move. He could only stand there and stare, greedily taking in the sight. He hadn't seen Regulus in nearly two months and now he was so close; all Remus had to do was call his name and he would turn around and see him.

He had lost weight, Remus noted. His jumper was sagging off his shoulders and his bottom didn't fill out his trousers quite as perfectly as it used to. All in all he looked small and vulnerable standing there slumped against the fence, the breeze toying with his hair.

Remus wasn't sure how long he stood there, just watching , not a sound coming over his lips. Finally Regulus sighed, so heavily it showed on his whole body, and turned away from the fence. He started walking, head bent so that he didn't notice Remus less than twenty yards in front of him. Remus had never seen such a defeated look on someone.

And then Regulus looked up and saw him. His face froze in an expression of shock and disbelief. "R-Remus?" he finally managed.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I… I just… I didn't think you'd… I didn't want to -"

"You're such an idiot."

Regulus swallowed. "I'm sorry. About everything."

Remus' trance broke and he rushed forward and enveloped the younger boy in a fierce embrace.

Regulus drew in a breath and stiffened in his arms.

"You're such an idiot," Remus murmured into his neck.

"I didn't want to bother you," Regulus whispered. Remus could feel him tremble and his breath coming in small gasps as if he was about to cry.

"That's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard. Didn't you listen at all? Did you think I was joking when I said I loved you and the only thing standing in the way of us being together was you becoming a Death Eater?"

"But I blew it. I broke your heart…"

"Then you better start mending it."

Regulus clung to Remus and pressed his face into his neck. Remus felt wetness on his skin and silent sobs roll through Regulus' chest. "It's okay," he murmured and kissed the top of his head.

A couple of minutes later Regulus straightened himself and wiped his face with his sleeve. Remus cradled his face in his hands and crashed their lips together in a heated kiss. Regulus responded like a drowning man coming up for air, opening his mouth and sucking Remus in, tongues twisting together in a fervent dance. For a moment, Remus' mind went blank, his senses completely overwhelmed by all that was Regulus. His taste. Smell. Warmth. Touch. Everything he had been deprived of for so long.

After a few minutes they parted, just enough to breathe properly. They stood with their foreheads pressed together, drowning in each other's eyes.

"What happened?" asked Remus when they had caught their breath. "How did your parents react?"

Regulus' smile faded. "They… they don't want me anymore…"

"Just because you won't join Voldemort?"

"Yeah. And because I refused to get married. I told them I loved you. I mean – I didn't give them your name or anything. It would have put you in danger."

Remus felt warmth spread in his chest and a smile pull at his lips.

"You told them that?" he asked and tucked a lock of hair behind Regulus' ear.

Regulus gave a small nod.

"I know you're upset about it, but it's better for you to be free of them. I hope you'll come to see that one day. They were destroying you."

Regulus shrugged and cast his eyes down. But Remus caught a glimpse of the haunted look in them.

"Hey, come on," he said and lifted Regulus' chin so he could look into his face. "Do you really miss them?"

Regulus considered it for a minute. Then he shook his head. "No. It just hurts so much being abandoned. Like I'm worth nothing."

"Don't talk like that. You're the most precious thing they could possibly have. They're crazy for giving you up. They're not worth grieving over. I'm so proud of you. You've been so brave."

"No. I've been scared. I've been scared my whole life."

"Well, that just makes you all the braver."

Regulus looked into Remus' eyes for a long moment. Then he took a deep breath and said, "I don't want to be scared anymore."

Remus ran his fingers through Regulus' hair and caressed his cheek lovingly. "I've got you. And I'll never abandon you again. I promise."

A/N: Remember - stick around for epilogue.

Zayhad (Deviantart) made an illustration for this chapter as well! (Check my profile for direct link).