I lay in the dark with Haymitch silently sleeping by my side. I don't sleep I can't really. It hasn't quite sunk in yet that I have lost my mother and sisters forever.

I thought that life couldn't be harder but I realize that this baby is part of me and therefore a siren by blood. That means she won't breathe when she's born, which means they will think she's dead.

I have to find a way to make her human.

I fall into a quite thirty minute nap before waking up again this time sick.

I can't slip soundlessly to the bathroom and I accidentally kick Haymitch in mid flight. I don't bother to turn on the lights as I'm to disoriented by pain and sickness.

I'm just grateful I don't throw up on the floor. The lights come on blinding me and I know Haymitch is there. He's calm for it being I don't know four in the morning.

He walks over to me and puts his hands over mine to loosen my grip. "I hate this" I gasp trying to hold back tears.

"It won't last forever" He whispers knowing if he says he understands he'll be brutally punished.

There must be a god because the pain fleets from my body. I allow myself to fall back onto the wall and I refuse to look at him.

"You couldn't do that to me"

"Excuse me?" He sits down next to me.

"How could you just tell me that your life is in danger when I found out?"

"My life isn't in danger"

"But it is, Haymitch. It was too much, far too much. I couldn't... I still can't." Proper words are not forming, I have too much to say too much to feel.

He wraps his arms around me, "I know, I could have picked better timing I guess. But the facts are what they are. We can't change them now."

I sigh quietly and he knows I've forgiven him. "Haymitch?"

"Hmm?"

"There's really a tinny human inside me isn't there?" I adjust myself to look into his eyes. He smiles at me as if it's the silliest thing I've ever said.

"Yeah" He nods.

I look down at my still flat stomach and slowly lift my shirt up. "Hi there little one... I know you probably can't hear me right now but I'm sorry mommy and daddy have been yelling so much. " I place my hand over my baby, "We're just trying to do what's best for you, that's what we'll always be doing from now on."

I hear Haymitch chuckling at me, "Just know that normally daddy's wrong"

"Hey!" He nudges me playfully. I smile and take his hand placing it under mine.

"But it doesn't matter who's wrong and who's right, because no matter what we do to make fools of ourselves we love you."

"We don't make fools of ourselves that often."

"Oh but we do" I get up and kiss him. "Come on let's go to bed." I say standing up he gets on his knees and quickly kisses our baby, before standing up and taking my hand.

And somehow again I don't know how we managed to keep her a secret for the few months we had before the games.

Though I don't have much and I can cover her up while we are in the Capitol I don't know how long it will take Snow to find out. Maybe he already knows.

I dress quickly as we head out to the reaping. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" Haymitch asks for what must be the umpteenth time.

"I'm never okay there, but it hopefully won't be to different" I reply as I always do. That's the last of the topic on our way to the reaping of the sixty first annual Hunger Games. Joy, I greet our new escort who goes by the name Rovany, She is very peculiar having tattooed ears that are cut to look like rings and her arms are tattooed to look like they are covered in gems.

I sit through another reaping. I'm just glad that none of the people I know are related to these tributes.

We get on the train, in our sad routine making our way to the capitol to watch children fight to the death.

I'm almost fourteen weeks now it's becoming really weird for me, now that I can see the slight bump where she is. Now that I really know she's there... To be honest it's kind of freaky.

She's there I can feel her and now I can sort of see her.

"How long do you think it'll be?" I ask Haymitch when we are preparing for bed.

"Soon, "

"Do you think he knows now?"

"Probably"

"Fantastic." I roll over to one side as Haymitch switches the light off. He slithers up behind me and hesitantly places his hands over my almost unnoticeable bump.

He's still cautious no matter how many times I say it's okay. It's fine with me, I'd rather him be cautious they bold right now.

It can't have been longer than ten minutes when the phone in our room begins to ring. "Should we even answer it?" I sit up, "I mean we know who's calling"

"Answer it"

"Phone calls never really work out in my favor remember"

"It'll just keep ringing" I roll my eyes and pick it up.

"Hello?" I ask warily.

"Hello Mrs. Abernathy, it's President Snow"

"Hi..."

"I believe congratulations are in order"

"Thank you sir"

"I'll be at the train station tomorrow you will come with me before going to the remake center."

"Oh but I-"

"No excuses now"

I-"

"See you tomorrow" I hear the click signaling the end of the conversation.

"Son of a bitch" I huff before hanging up the phone.

"What's the damage?"

"I have to meet with him tomorrow"

"You want me to come with you?"

"Don't bother, he won't let you anyway" I get back into a comfortable position and fall soundly asleep.

The next day when I get off the train I'm shocked to find that I am escorted instead of kidnapped. That counts as a win.

I'm taken to a car and escorted to the President's office. I step inside and I'm almost knocked clear off my feet. The distinct scent of roses over powers me.

"Please take a seat" I obey and he turns to face me. "Now you don't have to be shy about the baby"

I look down at my shirt that hides her well. "I'm fine thank you"

"We have a few things to discuss I do believe"

"Sir?"

"Well telling everyone, for one thing. Everyone has been anxiously awaiting for you two announce your pregnancy. Then of course there's the matter of health care-"

"Okay, um" I cut him off infuriated at him as usual "I'm having a baby"

"Yes?"

"Me, I'm having it. As in I'm going to be walking around with a parasite inside me for nine months until I push it painfully out of me. I'm having the baby, so I will decide how I'm having it.

"I will not be going to any Capitol doctors while I'm here, I will not have my baby in the Capitol. I will not be paraded around like some kind of prize.

"I'm having him or her in my own home with no cameras and no one but my healer and my husband. I will not be bringing him or her to the Capitol once he or she is born" If I were so over come with my emotions I might have felt fear for my boldness.

"You forget Mrs. Abernathy that I made him."

"Excuse me?"

"Your son was created all out of my own doing."

"No sir... Your wrong, my baby was made out of love and it will be no different when it's born"

"I see your hormones are beginning to get the better of you." He chuckles and now I could just slap him, "Please don't worry yourself too much Mrs. Abernathy, your son will be just fine." He calls for a glass of water and I am not comfortable at all.

"Why do you think it's a boy?" I ask as he comes around his desk.

"Because that's what the people want" He places his hand on my stomach and it takes all my will power to not cut his hand off.

"I think it's a girl." I say defiantly

"Well hope your wrong then." He says as he hands me a glass of water. I sip it as he speaks, "Now don't get too worked up everyone will just love hearing that you are expecting."

"What is it that you want?"

"You'll see as we go along."

"But-"

"I can see why you would be wary but not to worry, he's in safe hands"

"Yeah mine" I stand up "Are we done here sir?"

"For now, you may go. Oh and Mrs. Abernathy" I turn to look at him, "You might want to be careful we wouldn't want anything to ruin you sons life now would we?" I glare at him,

"No sir" I leave the room and I almost bolt out to the car and over to the remake center.

Sorry this is a tad bit late but don't get mad at me I'll have two or three chapters up tomorrow to make up for it! Let's see if I can finish this story before school starts shall we?