My Second Chance

Chapter XXXVII

=Normal POV=
[Friday, 8/31/2018; 7:20 pm]
[Berk; Haddock/Forger House]

Within the house, Hayden and Trayden stood in Hayden's bedroom. Trayden knew Hayden said they should talk, but Hayden had said anything since then. Perhaps he should say something in response. Trayden went to speak as Hayden took a breath, likely an attempt to calm down and relax.

"I've spent weeks thinking about this," Hayden started. "Months even. I've told myself over and over again that I needed to figure things out, but no matter what I did; I couldn't find the answer,"

"Hayden…It's okay. I told you that I'm not going anywhere," Trayden reminded.

"Tray, please…I've spent since getting home from vacation with my Godfather planning this talk, and my nerves have gotten the better of me each time…So please, just let me get this out?" Hayden asked.

"Of course," Trayden replied. "I'm sorry, go ahead," he invited gently.

"I know that you aren't going anywhere no matter what we are. I'm…Eternally grateful, Trayden, to have you in my life as someone I consider to be my absolute best friend. Someone I know I could call up and you'd come running. Someone I can tell anything to, and not only will you listen, but offer security, comfort, and words to make me feel better. Someone who will protect me. Someone I can trust entirely who won't hurt or abandon me. These actions are all things you have told me from the beginning, and you proved them to me." Hayden explained softly.

Hayden took a breath, still looking at Trayden, who was trying to figure out where this was going. Honestly, it felt like Hayden was trying to let him down easy, but still; Trayden would wait until Hayden finished. The last thing he wanted to do was assume and upset Hayden by proving everything he just said wrong.

"So believe me; I know that, Trayden. I know you will always be here for me. And by the Gods; you've been extremely patient waiting for me to try to figure it out, what I feel for you, and you've continued to still be an amazing friend despite the personal feelings you have for me," Hayden went on.

"I do love the feeling of being secure and comforted by you; I can't even begin to describe it, and you already know that I cling to that,"

"I do," Trayden responded now, nodding. "And don't mind," he added.

"But there's more, Tray…" Hayden mentioned. "There's heart beating hard and fast, smiling, and happiness when I'm with you," he confessed. "All this realization came up when I went on vacation and couldn't talk to you. I found myself…Withdrawing from having your company and our conversations. My feelings were always real, and I just psyched myself out and thought too much about you…" he stated; then took a breath. "But I'm sure of things now…I like you, Tray; I do,"

Trayden felt relief wash over him at those three main words; I like you. "Oh, that's…That's great, Hayden," Trayden smiled, stepping forward to hug Hayden.

"But…" Hayden said, halting Trayden's advance. "I-I'm not ready for a relationship yet…" he stated nervously. "I know I'm hesitating because of Brad; I haven't felt like this for anyone since him…I-I'm still working on a few things, you know? Having romantic feelings for another guy, being that kind of close to someone again…"

"Hayden, that's fine. Gods, that's totally okay. You think I'd get upset that you need more time before getting in a relationship?" Trayden asked. Hayden nodded bashfully. "No. No, not at all. I know Bradley hurt you; he promised you so much and lied about everything when you finally gave your heart to him. As I said before; you take whatever time you need to be ready. I'm perfectly content being your best friend that you like and I like back until then," he smiled.

Hayden smiled a little too. "Thanks for understanding, Tray. Seriously…" Hayden stepped closer now, hugging Trayden around his midsection and then kissing his cheek. Trayden returned the hug as the two of them pulled away.

"No problem," Trayden replied. "And if you want…Maybe I can help get you past the hesitation to be in a relationship," he offered. "I think it stems from the fact Brad said he liked or loved you, but only showed that with sexual acts. And when you finally returned his feelings and wanted a relationship; he bailed because he knew it wouldn't be just about the sex anymore."

"Seems like he only sweet-talked you because you were new to being in gay community, young, and vulnerable to use for his desires. The minute you wanted more than just intimacy; he left saying he didn't feel the same anymore." Trayden added shortly after.

Hayden looked down a little. "Yeah…I accepted that might be the case…" he sighed. "But how do you think you can fix the hesitation I have because of him?" Hayden wondered curiously.

"What if you and I..Go on a couple of dates? It can be just us; maybe go to dinner, a movie? Walk in the park, something. Let's us get closer without the sex that Brad always used, and you can see for yourself the difference between that jerkoff saying he cared, but only wanting sex, and someone who cares and wants to be with you for you, not your body,"

Hayden thought about it for a few seconds; it wasn't a bad idea. Maybe it could help him get past the hesitation to be someone if he got to do things that Bradley never did with him? It was worth a try, at least. "Al-Alright, we can try it and see how it goes…" Hayden agreed. "How are we going to know if it works?"

"Well, you can tell me if the hesitation is fading, or straight up when you feel ready to take the next step…Which would be us dating. Whatever you wanna do," Trayden smiled.

Hayden nodded. "Okay, that sounds good,"

"Great. For now, let us get back to the party. Wouldn't want anyone thinking we're doing something naughty or perverted," Trayden chuckled.

Hayden laughed a bit. "Gods…The sad part is I don't put it past them," Trayden offered his hand to Hayden, who took it and they left the bedroom. Hayden flipped the lights off as they walked back through the house to reach the backyard. The two let go of their hands and headed out to join the others.

"About time," Syrus mumbled.

"Oh, shut it. We were only gone fifteen minutes," Hayden remarked.

"You can do a lot in fifteen minutes," Rylee raised her brows up and down, snickering with her twin brother and the friends.

"Get your perverted minds out of the gutter, please? Gods, can't can two gay men have a normal conversation without everyone assuming we did something sexual?" Trayden asked.

"Tray…When you put it that way; it does sound like we did something." Hayden shrugged. Trayden went to say something but stopped as he went over how he worded his last statement. Yeah; it insinuated that he and Hayden did something and trying to hide it.

"Not for nothing, laddie, but I mean; you and-," Gabriel started.

"And you hush up!" Hayden warned.

"But I was just gonna say-," Gabriel tried again.

"Nope! No, you will say nothing, Uncle Gabriel!" Hayden said quickly, clearly not wanting anyone to know about Bradley and him. Trayden moved next to Gabriel, bending over next to his hear.

"Nobody knows about Brad and Hayden except for me. The only thing they know is Hayden was heartbroken by an unnamed guy last year," Trayden informed.

"Oh…Oh, alright. I understand. Sorry, kiddo," Gabriel said now as Hayden mumbled a bit, sitting back in his chair. Trayden walked behind Hayden and kissed his cheek, making the auburn-haired teenager blush.

"Hey, cheer up; it's a party," Trayden smiled. Hayden couldn't help it; he smiled too as Trayden sat down next to him. It was quiet for a few minutes.

"So…What were you two doing?" Alicia grinned.

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Hayden and Trayden yelled at the same time. The friends blinked, but then Hayden and Trayden just started laughing out loud.

. . .

[10:15 pm]

After the outburst and laughter from Hayden and Trayden to the others; everyone went back to talking and having fun. Around 9 pm; Gabriel told Hayden to shut down the speakers and just run his laptop's music out of the built-in computer speakers. Hayden did so, and everyone continued sitting around and having a good time. Now, it was a little after 10 pm as Gabriel decided to get up and head inside the house for the rest of the night.

"Alright, kiddo; I'm heading in," Gabriel informed. No answer from Hayden. "Laddie?" he asked again. Looking over, Gabriel saw that Hayden was sitting in his chair with his legs bent and off to the side while leaned over and his head on folded arms of the chair; he was fast asleep there. Gabriel smiled and chuckled a little bit. "Aw, lad…" he said quietly. "You don't change," he added.

"What do you mean?" Trayden asked.

"Hayden used to fall asleep the same way when his parents and I would take him camping. After a long day of fun; he'd end up knocking out in his chair like this. I should have recognized the music earlier; he changed the playlist over to Camping Tunes. He must have started feeling upset and wanted to relive some of the past for a means of comfort, so he set things up like it used to be," Gabriel stated.

"How can you be sure?" Miya wondered.

"Watch," Gabriel smiled a bit as he went into the house for a second and came out with a brown jacket, laying it over Hayden's slumbering figure. Instantly, Hayden snuggled under it more but remained asleep. Gabriel leaned down and kissed his forehead, then ruffled his hair a little bit. "Night, son. Rest well," Hayden seemed to smile more.

"Night, Mom, Dad, and Uncle Gabe…" Hayden gripped the jacket more. "Love you," he yawned tiredly, but Hayden never woke up; it was like he said it out of habit.

"We love you too," Gabriel said before he stepped back. "Like I said," the man smiled. "Did it for comfort; that's what we used to do. Spencer would cover him with his jacket, and we'd all say goodnight and let him sleep there all night,"

"Should we do the same? Just leave him there?" Devon inquired.

"Probably for the best. Hayden might get up in the middle of the night and move to his tent, but if not, this is where you'll find him tomorrow morning. I'm heading in; get me if there's a problem," Gabriel waved and headed for the house. The friends continued talking, keeping it quiet for Hayden. The time continued to tick by until 10:45 pm.

Hayden began to shift around a bit, and then a lot more moments later. "Ut-oh," Alicia said. "That looks like nightmare movements," she mentioned to Syrus. Of course, though; it got everyone's attention. Sure enough, Hayden started jerking more with a look of discontent on his face. Hayden continuously grabbed at the jacket, beginning to whimper.

"N-No…G-Go away…" Hayden said, still asleep. "Le-Leave me al-alone! Do-Don't touch me!" he curled up more. "N-No! Stop! Please, d-don't d-do this…!" Hayden was shaking, trying to protect himself or struggle to get free.

That was all it took for Trayden to understand what was going on. This wasn't the first time Hayden had this nightmare. The only male Hayden ever loved was Bradley, and that man was Olivia's little brother, part of the family that Hayden lived with when Olivia was sexually abusing Hayden. Trayden was positive that Bradley must have done something to Hayden while he was there.

"Do we get Gabriel?" Alyssa asked. Trayden got out of his chair and crouched in front of Hayden.

"Hayden…Hayden, hey, wake up. It's alright," Trayden said, lightly stroking his cheek with a hand. "Ssh…Easy now…Come on, open your eyes…"

Hayden gripped the coat more. "Mom!...Dad!" he called quietly. "Come back! Please, come back…" he pleaded. That was heartbreaking to hear. "You promised…You promised you'd always be with me!" And that was worse.

"Ssh…It's alright. Just a nightmare, Hayden…Wake up," Trayden soothed.

"H-Help m-me…I-I need you here to save m-me…M-Make it stop…Please, make everything stop…" Hayden crunched up more. "No, stop!" Hayden pleaded again. "NO!" but then Hayden snapped awake; sitting up, panting, and looking around quickly to see he was outside and still in his chair by the fire at his Godfather's house. Trayden was in front of him, and the rest of the friends were sitting around, but still close.

Hayden looked at what he was holding; it was his father's coat. Tears filled his eyes as he held the jacket in front of him, rubbing his fingers over the fabric shakily before holding it close to him and lowering his head. Before Trayden could make a move; Hayden grabbed onto Trayden, crying into his chest. Trayden wrapped his arms around Hayden tightly, rubbing his back and rocking him a little.

"Ssh…Ssh…I know. I know it hurts, Hayden…It was only a nightmare; you're safe," Trayden offered gently. After a five-minute breakdown; Hayden's sobs turned into light coughs and sniffles. Trayden pulled from the hug, wiping Hayden's eyes.

"H-How'd this get outside?" Hayden inquired about the jacket.

"Gabriel put it over you when he saw you sleeping in the chair, said something about it being like old times," Syrus informed. Hayden never let go of the coat; he was holding it in his arms.

"Hayden," Trayden said now as Hayden looked at him sadly. "I'm gonna ask you something, and I want you to be entirely honest with me, alright?" Hayden nodded. "Did he hurt you when you lived there?" Hayden knew who Trayden was talking about too; Bradley. "Tell me the truth, please?" Hayden held the jacket tighter as he finally nodded his head, keeping it down. Trayden only pulled Hayden in for another embrace as Hayden laid his head on Trayden's shoulder, burying his face into Trayden's neck.

"I can see you had a nightmare..." Gabriel said, coming out towards them. "Seems like Tray handled it, so thank you Trayden," the mand added as Trayden managed a nod. "Now…It's about 11 pm. Time to shut it down for the night; you need some sleep, lad," Gabriel informed. Hayden didn't argue as he got up, went in the house to use the bathroom, and then got into his tent to lay down. "Need anything?" Hayden shook his head.

"Here's your computer," Ford bent down a little and handed Hayden his laptop back. Hayden whistled Cloudjumper, Skullcrusher, and Toothless came rushing forward and entering the tent with Hayden. The three animals positioned themselves to be around Hayden; only Toothless was laying on his midsection.

"Try to get some sleep," Gabriel said gently.

"We won't be far, and we'll come to get you if anything happens again," Devon mentioned.

"Thank you," Gabriel nodded.

"I took care of the fire," Evan informed as the fire was now just giving off a light glow from the embers. Hayden was lying down, still wearing his father's coat. Gabriel went back into the house as the rest of the friends were going to their tents. Trayden started zipping up Hayden's tent for him.

"Tray?" Hayden asked.

"Yeah," Trayden inquired.

"Thanks for tonight. A-And please don't tell the others what I told you. I-I'm not ready for them to know..." Hayden said.

"Of course. Thank you for telling me...And don't worry; you're safe because if he ever manages to come near you again, Hayden...I will protect you," Trayden said.

Hayden nodded. "I, uh…I like you," Hayden said. Trayden smiled; he understood why Hayden said it. A play on the words; I love you, only not said like that because they weren't dating and only at a crush/like stage.

"Like you too," Trayden winked. "I'm less than a foot away if you need me," he blew Hayden a kiss. Hayden blew one back as Trayden finished zipping the tent before going to his own to get some sleep. Despite the last ten minutes or so with Hayden's nightmare; the party overall had been fun, and now all of them except Bryan, Devon, and Evan would be returning to Berk High School for their Senior Year on Monday, September 3rd, 2018.