Hey, look - an update! What's it been, nine months? Pretty crazy, I know. :)

Request, written on the back of a Potions essay:

A Little Brains

Hello, Hermione, how are you doing today?
I really love that shirt – not really – but I'll say it anyway.
Since we're such good friends I have one request
See, next class I have this really big test.

I listened in class and studied hard; I swear I did,
But it all just goes out the opposite ear it went in.
My solution is simple, though it seems rather lame,
I really – really, really – need to borrow your brain.

If I don't pass this exam it'll all be over,
The world will explode and the North Pole will tip over
This might sound stupid and you probably won't agree
But if you don't say yes I'll just continue to plea.

You're terribly smart and so apt to understand
I've heard you're also kind so try to lend a hand.
If your brain was in my head I'd get nothing wrong,
This is the plan, my dear friend, so please play along.

-Lavender Brown, December 1997

Response, composed on a scrap of parchment stained with tomato soup:

A Little Sense

Thanks for asking, Lavender, I'm doing fine
(Your shirt looks a lot worse than mine).
I fully comprehend what you're asking of me;
To you, that assessment must be a colossal mystery.

Indeed, I'm capable of assisting you immediately
As I've finished all my homework, conveniently,
But unfortunately for you, I'm a strict individualist
And I can't help it if your brain only half-exists.

Although I admit you have a loopy personality
Surely you can't have diverged that far from reality;
The world, don't you know, can't really blow up
Your absurdity just might make me throw up.

But I recognize your craving for illumination
(Your lack of knowledge is a severe debilitation)
It must be terribly depressing, being so non-intellectual
Any studying on your part seems quite ineffectual.

I've gone off on a tangent, but what I'm trying to say
(Don't worry, I'll explain it in a simple way)
Is that even if my intellect was retainable
My brain is, quite simply, physically unattainable.

-Hermione Granger, December 1997