'Can I get you a coffee?'

Michelle glanced up. She'd been cradling her forehead in her hands. Tony watched her, looking equally as tired, equally as drained. Mason hadn't awoken apart from his brief interview with the police, and Michelle was desperate to see him conscious for herself. So far it had been two hours and he'd slept on. The doctors hadn't returned, and all Michelle knew for sure was that they were playing the waiting game. Mason's chances had improved, but they were still just that: chances.

She shrugged, wiping sleep from her eyes.

'If you're going to get one, sure,' she said gratefully. He nodded and got to his feet. He stared down at Mason for a long while, his face distraught and laden with guilt. Michelle watched him, surprised to realise she wanted to take him in her arms, wanted to tell him not to blame himself. She didn't know where they stood or what was going to happen and their last encounter before Mason's abduction kept replaying in her head.

'I'll…I'll be back in a minute,' he told her, and left the room.

Michelle got to her feet, stretching her legs, and ran a hand over her hair. She appreciated her newfound sense of security and satisfaction in knowing the man who had harmed her child was gone, but still…things with Mason were touch and go and things with Tony were the same.

'Mum?'

Michelle spun around at the tiny whispered word. Mason's shadowy little eyes were cracked open.

'Mason!' She rushed to him, sat down on the edge of his bed, feeling herself breath freely for the first time in days. Her hand went to his hair to smooth it back. His skin was clammy and cold.

'Sweetheart,' she said, tears pooling in her eyes. 'Sweetheart…you woke up.'

He blinked blearily.

'I feel funny,' he mumbled. A tear trickled from his eye.

'I know, sweetheart, I know you do. I'm…I'm so happy to see you.'

She kissed his face, wanting to take him in her arms and hold him, feeling frustrated beyond measure that she had to resist.

'I'm in hospital,' he mumbled.

'Yes, sweetheart, we're here to get you all better.'

Slowly, Mason's hand crept across the sheets to rest on her forearm, as though to ensure she really was there beside him. Michelle couldn't help it; tears were running freely down her face.

'I saw two policemen,' he told her, his words very slow and drawn out. This was a very exciting thing in his opinion, and even in his woozy state it was the first topic to be discussed. 'Except one was a lady.'

'I know,' she said, her fingers brushing across his cheek. 'They wanted to find out what happen.'

Mason nodded. His eyes closed slowly. He seemed to have fallen back to sleep for a moment.

'Sweetheart?' Michelle asked quietly.

His eyes flickered open again. He seemed to be fighting against the morphine. He tried to swallow, wincing slightly before he let out a little spluttering cough.

'They wanted to know who took me from school,' he explained, his eyelids drooping. 'They wanted to know who cut me. But I didn't know.'

'No, I know, sweetheart,' Michelle said. 'They didn't mind, they just wanted to have a talk about it.'

He let out a gurgling breath. Michelle desperately wanted to find a way to ease his discomfort.

'W-Why did they cut me?' he asked her.

'I don't know, sweetheart,' she said, rubbing his arm gently. 'I…I don't know why.'

She dearly wanted to tell him it was her fault, wanted to tell him how sorry she was that he'd been hurt so terribly because of her, but the police were returning tomorrow and she simply couldn't run the risk of giving him such sensitive information.

'I've got stuff stuck in me,' he explained to her. He raised his wrist feebly to show her his drip. 'I hate it.'

'I know, it doesn't feel nice,' she said.

He tightened his grip on her skin.

'Mum,' he said, beginning to cry quietly. 'I didn't know where you were. I wanted you…'

Michelle covered her mouth, stifling a deeply distressed sob. He watched her, looking as confused by her emotion as she was affected by his.

'I'm here now,' she told him, her voice a whisper, kissing his cheek again. 'I won't leave you. You're safe now.'

'I…I don't feel good,' he sniffed.

'You've had some big operations,' Michelle explained to him. 'You've been so brave. Brave enough, I think, to get some really nice things when we go home.'

'Really?' he asked, the corners of his mouth curling up slightly. His eyes were closed again, too heavy to keep open. 'I…I want this new game. It's …it's got… animals in it. Lions…and stuff.'

'That'll be the first thing we get,' she whispered to him, though she had no idea which game he was talking about. He grinned sleepily. 'But you have to get better first. Those are the rules. You can have whatever you want as long as you keep getting better for me.'

He nodded, looking as though he didn't quite understand how the deal worked, but not questioning it. Michelle brushed tears away from her face.

'I've missed you so much, Mason,' she told him. 'I've been so sad without you the last few weeks.'

He seemed to be temporarily asleep.

'Did he come round?'

Tony was standing at the doorway, two coffee cups in his hands. He hurriedly placed them on a side table and came to sit on the other side of Mason's bed. His gaze raked anxiously over his son, his eyes bloodshot. He took his hand. Mason's eyes fluttered open a millimetre or so. Tony's other hand went to his face, thumbing his cheek gently.

'Tony,' Mason mumbled, looking perplexed. He blinked several times. 'You're …you're back again.'

'Yeah, Mase,' Tony said hoarsely, taking his son's hand and pressing the back of it to his lips. 'Came back to see you.'

'I miss you when you leave, Tony,' Mason informed him. His tone was pressing, as though this information was urgent, and would prevent further disappearances in the future. Michelle heard Tony suck in a tormented breath.

'I know, Mason,' he said, fighting to keep his tears at bay. 'I miss you so much. Everyday.'

Mason looked from one parent to the other for a moment, taking in the fact that they were both perched on either side of his bed.

'I don't feel good,' he explained quietly, and nodded back off to sleep.

Tony and Michelle stayed where they were for several minutes, each holding one of their son's hands, watching his chest rise and fall beneath the blanket of gauze. Michelle had yet to staunch her flow of tears, and didn't try to. She brought Mason's hand to her lips to kiss him yet again.

'You understand now, don't you?' Tony said quietly after a while. His voice wasn't smug or provoking. It was just stating what he thought to be true.

'You understand how it can destroy you,' he continued, looking into Mason's tiny whitened face. 'How it can make you insane. How it can drive you to do things…things you never thought you could do.'

Michelle didn't look at him. She hadn't yet allowed herself to face the threats she'd made against Landers' two daughters. The idea to make them had come into her mind so quickly she hadn't had the time to consider if she would actually follow them through or not. It was easy to say they were just threats, especially now when she was by Mason's side, watching him recover, but what if he'd died? What if Landers had killed her little boy? It would have changed her. Sent her crazy. There was no telling what she might've done, what she'd be capable of doing.

She knew Tony was watching her, and, to her horror, she found she very much did understand. She didn't like it, in fact, she felt frightened by herself, scared of the person she might have become. She felt extremely thankful that she'd killed Landers when she had. If Mason didn't pull through in the coming days there would be no motive to kill Landers' daughters, not if he wasn't alive to suffer through the loss. They would remain safe from her.

'It's a part of who you are to want to protect him and keep him safe,' Tony said. He'd gone back to sit on one of the chairs on other side of the bed. He stared down at his clasped hands. 'When someone takes that right from you, it messes you up. Being able to protect you, Michelle, to keep you safe…that right was a part of who I was. It was taken from me. They killed the only thing I had a right to protect…it drove me crazy.'

She watched him, unable to ignore the growing empathy inside her. Yes, she found herself thinking. Yes, she knew now how it could drive you crazy.

'I don't need you to forgive me,' he continued. 'I've just needed you to understand. I can't go through life knowing you hate me, knowing you think I'm evil. I'm not…I just lost you…and…and now you understand.'

She met his gaze, and his eyes bore back into hers. Her hand was still entwined with their son's. She didn't know what to say, but he seemed to understand.

Mason woke up an hour later, looking lost and dazed. A nurse brought in a bowl of lukewarm potato soup, explaining that Mason needed to eat the whole thing on doctors orders before he could be allowed to go back to sleep.

'M'not hungry,' he murmured, his eyes sliding closed as his mother brought the bowl toward him. 'I don't feel good.'

'I know, sweetheart, but you've got to have some dinner. You've got nothing in your tummy.'

'M'not hungry,' he repeated.

'Water?' Tony suggested to Michelle, passing her a little cup with a straw. She took it and brought it to Mason's lips.

'Mason,' she said. He stirred. 'Have a sip, sweetheart,' she coaxed. 'You need to have some water.'

He raised his hand and pushed the cup weakly away from his face.

'Don't want to.'

Michelle stared at him, feeling her anxiety grow.

'Mason,' she said firmly. 'Remember what I said about getting some new games?'

He yawned and nodded.

'You can only have them if you have some dinner,' she said. 'Those are the rules.'

Mason looked extremely pained for a moment as he considered the ultimatum, and Michelle realised just how awful he felt when he took a long time to decide if the games were indeed worth it.

'Uh…alright,' he murmured finally, and allowed her to spoon feed him a mouthful.

'Good boy,' she said lovingly. 'Thank you, darling. Thank you.'

It took an hour to get him to eat half the portion, at which time Tony, seeing Michelle's mounting fatigue, placed a hand on her shoulder and told her he would take over. She watched him patiently feed their son for another hour from her place on the settee. She also watched when their son vomited all of it up in his sleep, and felt her heart leap into her throat when she saw blood mingled with the regurgitated soup.

Tony was already out of the room before Michelle even got her feet, in search of the closest doctor.

An hour later, Mason was back in emergency surgery, this time to once again review and repair the damage made to his intestines.

Michelle, out of her mind with despair, allowed herself to be cradled in her husband's arms as they waited, wondering if Mason was still fighting and if he could possibly survive this. At one point, she removed her face from Tony's chest and looked up into his eyes.

'I understand,' she whispered to him, her voice rough with hatred for all that happened, all that was still happening. 'You were right before. I…I can't forgive you…but I understand.'

Opium xx