The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Parody #37
A Parody of Megaman ZX
By: The ZX series
(MSX sits down in a rocking chair placed in the middle of a dark, empty room. He puts on glasses and opens a storybook.)
MSX - Once upon a time, there were two kids. Vent and Aile. They lived in the same timeline and they both went through the exact same things, but the dialogue was different. Thus, this conundrum collapsed the time/ space continuum and all of existence vanished all because Capcom didn't give them separate stories. The end.
(MSX looks around.)
MSX - M-Maybe I should just parody the game…
(The scene changes to a cliff were Aile gazes at the Slither Co. building.)
(A.N. Aile's my favorite, so I'll parody her storyline. Don't worry, though. Vent's is exactly the same.)
Aile - Serpent… Slither Co… So unoriginal…
Giro - No shit! This was the sixth Megaman series!
Aile - Meh.
(Galleons run up and blow up Aile's bike, knocking her off the cliff.)
Aile - Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… -lands- …lls… My back…
Guardian - Freeze!
Aile - Great…
(The Giga Aspis appears and knocks the Guardians down.)
Aile - Yes! Now's my chance! But, wait… Her… She… Stranger… Girl… Agh! -runs in front of Prairie- I won't let you kill her unless I get five bucks first!
(Aile uses Model X for the first time.)
Giga Aspis - -roars- -translating- My face! My beautiful face!
Aile - Hot diggety damn! I'm taking this with me!
Prairie - I'm Prairie.
Aile - I know. Whenever you speak, it says your name. -runs off-
Prairie - -looks up at speech bubble- Then what the hell's the point?
(Aile rips through Area A.)
Aile - Prepare to die! -blows up Giga Aspis- Pwned.
(Aile walks into a small room.)
Aile - Prairie needs help.
Guardians - Let's go! -run off-
Aile - I'm…
Guardians - -through transmission- We've reached Prairie!
Aile - The hell?! They just left! Oh well… To find Giro! -runs off-
(Aile enters and rips through Area B.)
Aile - Easy.
(Giro cuts off the boss' wing.)
Giro - What up?
Aile - Yo!
(Aile enters the Area C.)
Guardian - In order to become a Guardian, you must find five of our men who are hidden in places you'll never…
Aile - Found 'em.
Guardian - Oh… Um… Here… -hands Aile stuffed animal-
Aile - Okay… Was that seriously the test?
Guardian - Yes. Why?
(Aile turns around to see a bunch of drunkards wearing Guardian uniforms.)
Hillbilly Guardian - Jimmy cracked corn, so I did too!
Aile - Go figure…
(Aile stores the stuffed animal in hammerspace (look it up) and walks up to a civilian.)
Aile - Hi.
Civilian - Hello.
(Aile uses Model X.)
Civilian - Agh! Maverick!
Aile - People in this city sure are retarded.
(Aile gets a mission and heads to Area D.)
Serpent - Zap.
Giro - Agh! My head!
Aile - Yo!
Giro - Kill… annoying white one!
Aile - I'm blue.
Giro - Right… Annoying blue one!
Aile - Better.
(Aile beats Giro, then gets zapped by Serpent.)
Serpent - Zap.
Aile - Agh! -falls down-
Giro - -laughing-
Aile - What?
Giro - I'm using Model Z and I'm about to die…
Aile - What else is new?
(Giro dies and Aile uses Model ZX.)
Aile - I just wiped out eight or so Galleons just by using this model. Why can't I do that a second time?
Inafune - 'Cause that would be to easy! -laughs-
Aile - Right.
(Aile goes to Area E.)
Aile - Easy. Easy. Easy.
Hivolt - What up!
Aile - Yo! Wait… You're not Giro!
Hivolt - No shit! -gets killed-
Model H - I am Model H.
Aile - Agh! They talk!
Model H - I am only half of what I used to be.
Aile - Then why do you look whole?
Model H - Work with me here…
(Aile enters Area F.)
Aile - I'm underwater, yet I can breathe.
Model X - Why?
Aile - Because I'm part fish!
Model Z - Okay then…
Luerre - Boo!
Aile - Eep. You're kinda small, aren't you?
(Luerre retreats and her actual body lunges forward.)
Aile - Oh shit!!
(After some difficulty, she beats her.)
Model L - I am Model L. I've got a crush on Model Z. I wanna help.
Aile - Like I can say no?
Inafune - That's right! You can't! -insert maniacal laughter-
(Aile enters Area G.)
Aile - My, the building's were burning, yet people are only now reacting… Hmmm…
(Aile whips through the level.)
Fistleo - I will beat you!
Aile - Great. A boss with regenerative powers. Perfect…
(Fistleo poses.)
Aile - I think I've seen that before…
(Akuma flies in, does the Raging Demon, poses, then jumps through the hole in the wall.)
Aile - Saves me the trouble.
Model F - Caffeine!
Aile - Oh joy…
(Aile goes to Area H.)
Aile - Wow. This place is pretty cool… Despite the fact that this is where my mom died, but nonetheless…
(Aile gets to the end.)
Puprill - Hahaha! I'm a monkey!
Aile - Agh! Don't throw poop at me!
(Aile beats Puprill.)
Model P - I am Model P. I sense great strength coming from you, but you lack training.
Aile - Whatever…
(Aile returns to the Guardian ship as its' attacked.)
Aile - Oh snap!
Prometheus - Oh snap is right!
(Aile beats Prometheus.)
Prometheus - Blargh! -beams off-
(Aile enters Area I.)
Aile - Oh… Rain… Big deal…
Hurricaune - What up!
Aile - Yo!
Hurricaune - I'm going to turn the people I've captured into Cyber Elves!
Aile - How's that work?
Hurricaune - You'll never know because it's never explained! -maniacal laughter- Hahaha! -dying sounds-
Model H - Thanks for rescuing me.
Aile - Again?
Model H - Work with me…
(Aile enters Area J.)
Aile - Ooh… Underwater city…
(Aile gets to the boss.)
Aile - Agh! Big boss!
Leganchor - Don't worry. I don't like life.
Aile - Oh… Okay!
(Aile pwns Leganchor.)
Model L - Cool…
Aile - Totally…
(Aile goes back to Area H.)
Aile - Why did I have to buy the fill-it-in-yourself map?!
(Aile goes to Area K.)
Aile - Great… Fire…
(Aile barely gets through the lava.)
Flammole - Surprise! Happy Deathday!
(Aile shoots Flammole in the face.)
Aile - Stop speaking your gibberish.
Model F - More caffeine!!
(Aile goes to Area L.)
Aile - Agh! Missile rain! It's worse than acid rain!
Protectos - Boo.
Aile - -screams like a little girl- Wait a minute… -just screams-
(Aile barely beats Protectos.)
Model P - Now that I am complete, we can give you the passwords.
(Aile walks up to the door in Area M.)
Model X - Password.
(The door opens.)
Aile - That was it? The password was password?
Model Z - Yep.
Model L - Sure was.
Model F - Retard!!
(Aile growls and reaches the Model W core.)
Aile - Oh snap!
Pandora - Oh snap… is… right…
Aile - Damn William Shatner wannabe.
(Aile beats Pandora.)
Pandora - Blargh… -beams off-
(Aile heads to Area O.)
Aile - Wait a minute… This is Area D!
Model P - This Area D is under attack, thus a new name is in order.
Aile - Whatever…
(Aile gets to Prometheus and Pandora.)
Aile - Oh snap, crackle, and pop!
Prometheus - Yeah! What you said!
(Aile beats the two.)
Pandora - We've been… … … …beaten… -beams off-
Prometheus - It's time for a heroin break. See ya in five years. -beams off-
(Aile goes to Slither building.)
Hivolt - I'm back!
Hurricaune - Floor one!
Aile - Pain. -beats the two-
(Aile goes up another floor.)
Luerre - I'm back too!
Leganchor - Why, God? Why did you bring me back?
(Aile beats the two and goes up another floor.)
Fistleo - I'm Shin Fistleo now!
Flammole - And I'm Flammole!
(Akuma kills the two as Aile goes up another floor.)
Puprill - I'm gonna throw my feces at you!
Protectos - I would too, but I don't have hands…
(Aile beats the two and finds Serpent.)
Serpent - Zap.
(Serpent mutates and is beaten.)
Serpent - Double zap.
(Serpent reforms and is again beaten.)
Serpent - Crap…
Aile - Time to run down a circular street for four minutes! -does so-
MSX - I'd parody the Omega fight, but that's pretty well… Uh… Not possible? Anyways, I shall finish this parody with the single most annoying part in the game.
Guardian - Can you deliver this letter for me?
Aile - Sure.
(Half a thousand letters later…)
Guardian - Um… Aile?
Aile - If you say that word one more time, I'm going to transport my foot up your ass!
Guardian - I'm being transferred. Last one.
Aile - Thank God.
(Aile delivers the last letter.)
Girl - Um, Ms. Tranporter? Can you deliver a letter for me?
(Aile's eye starts twitching.)
Girl - Are you okay?
Aile - I think there's something behind you.
Girl - -turns around- I don't see any…
(Aile transports her foot up the girl's ass.)
MSX - And thus ends my parodies on the Megaman series.
Next time: The season finale has arrived.