Drake came home around midnight I was already in bed watching a movie ready to drift off.

Drake opened the door slowly as if he was sneaking in he didn't even look to see if I was sleeping he just assumed he walked over to the closet and started undressing throwing his clothes on the floor 10 feet from the hamper.

"Hey baby, how was work?"

Drake jumped putting his hand to his chest.

"What the hell Ash! I thought you were asleep."

"No I'm watching a movie. Why are you home so late?"

"Oh… yeah… we were studying the choreography for the video."

"The shoots not for like 3 months why start now won't you forget all of it before you guys have to start."

"No it's was kinda like a sit down so we just go over what the video was about an what I'll e doing."

"Did you like it?"

"Like what?"

"What ever you'll be doing in the video."

"Oh… I guess."

"What's wrong you seem spacey?"

"I guess I'm just tired. I'm sorry baby you don't mind if I just crash?"

"No baby you probably worked hard today."

Drake plopped down on the bed I turned to give him a kiss but he turned his head as my lips were about to make contact. I laid in bed stairing at the ceiling. What was going on here? Why did it seem like no one wanted me here? Or maybe I was just being paranoid maybe it was me? I wrapped my arms around Drake seemingly shrinking waist breathing him in and I was finally ready to turn my brain off and allow sleep to take over my body.

I woke up the next morning alone in which felt worse in such a big bed. I didn't worry about getting dressed I just wanted to find Drake and make this iron ball in my stomach to just go way. I don't know what my problem was but I felt sick to my stomach my hands were shaking I was nervous but I didn't know what about I felt like I was going insane. Was this all in my head? I mean I felt like something was happening between all of us and I wasn't allowed to be let in on the secret, or was I really having these nauseating pains?

I walked down the stairs holding my stomach trying to keep my hands as still as possible.

"Drake!"

I called out hoping that he would pop out from behind the next corner. I ran to the next corner looking the walls seemed to be coming in on me I felt like I had to get out, breathing became harder and harder. I sat on the floor holding my head ion my hands crying. I'm going crazy was the only thing that made sense, I going fucking crazy.

"Ashlee what's wrong? Are you okay?" Josh said leaning over me.

"I can't breath!" I gasped

"Ash do you have asthma?"

"No!" I said with an escaping gasp.

Thinking became harder and harder until I felt like I was just going to fall asleep which made even more scared. Was I dying? Calmness washed over my body and nothing …. Nothing happened I started breathing again and I could think I concentrated on Joshed hand rubbing my back and him telling me softly to breath. I breathed deeply through my nose and out through my mouth. A few moments had passed I looked up at Josh and kissed him not like a brother and sister kiss but a full out kiss and he kissed me back. I pulled away not knowing what had come over me.

"I think I need to see a doctor."

I proclaimed trying to stand up on my own.

"I think so too Ash. Don't get up I'll call someone for you. I'll take you over right away."

Josh helped me up the stairs I felt fine but he thought better safe the sorry. I got dressed and Josh as promised drove me to the hospital were a doctor was waiting to see me.

"Josh where's Drake?"

"I don't know he's not answering the phone, sorry."

"Josh will you come in with me?"

"Of course."

The visit was very routine take some blood pee in a cup wait forever to see my doctor for results.

"Josh I think we can go I feel fine."

"Ash it probably was just a panic attack but you have to be careful and we're already here so why not just wait to see what they have to say."

A doctor finally came in the room.

"Mrs. Nichols?"

"No Green."

"Oh is he your boyfriend?"

"No."

"Well maybe we should talk alone."

"Ash I'll just be out here if you need me." I watched josh walk through the thin curtain yet he felt like he was a thousand miles away.

"Mrs. Green…"

My stomach dropped she had a look on her face like I was going to die tomorrow.

"Yes…"

I said trying to hurry her along.

"Your pregnant."

"No I'm not I got the depo shot a few months ago."

"The blood test and urine test both show positive results. No are you having sex?"

"Yes."

"Well then you can be pregnant."

She said with a know it all air.

"Well you have many choices…"

"I have to go…"

I walked out of the hospital past Josh right to the car I just opened the door and sat in the passenger seat.

This isn't how it's supposed to be its not supposed to work out this way. I'm supposed to be happy. I'm pregnant! A smile crept across my face and disappeared many times I pondered the thought. Josh looked at me as if maybe they should have put me in a padded room. He took my hand as if I was fatal.

"What's wrong Ash?"

"I'm… I'm …" It took a few times to chew over like if I didn't say it, it wouldn't be true

"I'm pregnant."

Josh didn't say anything just pulled me close for a hug a hug that I desperately needed. Where the hell was Drake? I need him I wanted him here with me he was supposed to be here with me not Josh.

"Josh can you drive me to the studio?"

"Sure"