A/N Thank you Reviewers! Enjoy and pls continue to provide feedback! It really inspires me!

Bonded for Life #35

They stayed in each other's arms, outside, under the stars, for quite some time. Elena had mostly stayed tucked into Stefan's chest and holding on for dear life. Some other prom guests found their way outside to various dark corners. Sounds of kissing and whispers for more were growing clearer and closer as the couples grew more passionate. Anyone who would have seen Stefan and Elena would simply think they were making out just like the other prom dates. They'd never know the trauma and drama that had just played out on the lawn nearby.

Another couple ventured fairly close, since most other nooks near the doors and corners were now taken. They found a spot and took cover behind one of the larger trees nearby. "Elena, we should probably go," Stefan whispered.

"I know. I just don't want to…yet…If we go, we'll move into the phase where you are still so mad, and, disappointed in me…I don't want to go there yet." She was still sniffling and holding him so tight that if he'd been human, it would have hurt.

"Elena."

"I know." She removed her arms from his neck and rested her palms on his chest. "I will make it up to, Stefan, somehow."

He held her hands at his chest and looked her straight in the eye. "Let's just table that for now, ok?"

"You want to go home?" she asked.

Stefan hesitated. "Don't you want to? You've been through an awful lot, 'lena. I think I should get you home."

Elena watched his sad eyes look away and back. He licked his lip and grimaced for a second. "But…?" she prodded.

Stefan hesitated again and again looked away and back.

She offered another option. "Why don't we stay a little longer? I mean, I owe you so much. I might as well start by giving you a proper dance at prom." She tried to smile lightly.

"Elena, I don't need a dance. I do that for you."

"I know, but, you deserve to know how much I love you for it, how happy it makes me. I know that it makes you happy too." She slipped her hands into his to pull him along. "Not for me, Stefan. For you."

He smiled lightly but pulled back. "Hey, wait. Ah, you might want to, ah…"

"Oh, how bad is it? Am I a total raccoon?" She started feeling at her tearstained cheeks.

"Well,…remember when heroin chic was a thing…?"

Elena smiled at his sense of humor and made a face. "That bad, huh?"

Stefan made a funny grimace at how bad it was. Thankfully the actions to remove both of their hearts were complete hallucination fabricated by Silas, just as the stakes were that pierced Stefan and Damon. There were no blood soaked stains nor any torn clothes. Elena's dress, however, did have a fair amount of evidence of kneeling and outright lying on the ground, as did Stefan's jacket and slacks.

"Ok, there's some dirt on your collar but if you undo your tie and open your shirt, I don't think it'll be as noticeable." She started brushing down his suit here and there. "And me…I'm definitely going to need the ladies room." She looked from her dress back to Stefan. "We can do this."

"Elena…"

"As long as I'm focused on you, Stefan, I'm good. Don't worry about me, not anymore. I want to do this for you, with you…if you want…"

Stefan pondered for a moment and pulled out his phone. It rang quite a while and went to voicemail. Before he could dial another, his phone rang. "I need cover for us coming inside to get cleaned up."

Elena heard the caller loud and clear. "Got it. Give me two minutes."

"I figured you'd call Damon. She is prom queen and all," Elena said.

"Nope, this venue is all Caroline. Come on."

As Stefan and Elena hovered near the door in the dark, making out a bit as their cover, the lights suddenly went out in part of the building including the outer lobby from the dance. The lovers quickly whooshed inside, each to their respective lavatories. The lights came back on.

Damon entered the men's room after Stefan. Stefan was doing as Elena suggested with his tie and collar but Damon would have none of it. "You are a Salvatore. Forget it. This is Prom. There will be no tie removal, no jacket removal, and no open collar for you, young man. Not if I have anything to say about it." Damon worked the smudge on Stefan's collar until it was gone, just wet. He'd also brought a clean bar towel to brush down Stefan's tux. He had to get it damp so that didn't leave white lint all over the black tux. Stefan smirked and gratefully, if quietly, accepted the help. It had been ages since his brother had looked out for him in such a way.

When Elena saw herself in the mirror, she gasped. What a sight! Now with the indoor lighting she could see the worst of it. Her hair, her make-up, her dress dirtied up the entire front, she was a mess. Someone entered the lounge and was coming into the lavatory. Elena sped into the handicapped stall at the back and hid.

"Elena, it's me." Caroline's voice was never more welcome. Elena opened her stall door and saw Caroline's facial reaction.

"Holy crap!"

Bonnie entered. "Hey guys?"

"Back here!" Caroline called, still eyeballing the mess that was Elena.

Bonnie approached. "Here's your bag."

"We're gonna need it," Caroline said, taking it from Bonnie.

"Easy, Caroline." Bonnie entered the stall. She'd already seen the damage to Elena and knew what she wanted to do.

Elena watched nervously as her friends squeezed in with her. "Do you have eye make-up remover in there?" Bonnie asked.

"Of course," she said with a roll of her eyes.

Bonnie glanced at Elena to share a grin at Caroline's antics. She stopped when she spied Elena had tears rolling down her face. "Hey, none of that now. We need to get you cleaned up." Her words did nothing to stop the flow.

"Yeah, Elena, we can fix the face, but stop crying on the dress."

"I can fix the dress, Caroline," Bonnie said. "What is it, Elena?"

Elena took a second in order to be able to speak. "I'm sorry. So sorry. You guys, I can't…"

"Uh, uh, uh…None of that now. I heard Stefan. You need to focus on one thing. We can talk later. One step at a time, right, Caroline?"

"Right. Yes, of course."

Her friends started in on cleaning up her face, cotton swabs, remover, and face cream, all of it. Elena was still so sad and teary-eyed but she tried to rein it in. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and said, "Stefan is waiting for me. Stefan is waiting for me…"

"That's right. That's good. Focus on Stefan," Caroline gave Elena's shoulder a squeeze. The girls tended to their broken but recovering friend until she was more than presentable. They worked their magic, including a bit of magical "cleaning" of the dress and the shoes by Bonnie. They'd even had to wipe down her feet from her traipsing through the lawn in heels that spiked deep into the soft earth.

The thought of Stefan was keeping her whole for the moment. His name was her mantra, chanted with eyes closed through much of the process. The way they cared for her, tended her, coaxed her, and encouraged her to finally open her eyes was almost too much for her heart to bear. When Elena saw her reflection and she almost lost it again.

"Now, now, we just fixed you up!" Caroline said, grabbing for a tissue just in case.

"I'm sorry. It's not that…It's just…It's like I haven't seen myself, truly me, in the mirror in a long time, you know?"

"Oh, I thought it was maybe because we made you beautiful again…," Caroline said, comically proud of their work. Bonnie smacked her arm. "Ow, hey, just being funny here. You keep her from crying then!"

Caroline and Bonnie may or may not have understood the magnitude of seeing her emotional eyes reflecting back to her, but they stood close and supported her, all three girls looking at each other in the mirror. "Come on now, it's time, Elena. He's been waiting long enough for the real you." Caroline almost instantly regretted her glib remark as Elena and she locked eyes in the mirror. Elena on the verge of tears again. "I didn't mean that, not like it sounded. I'm an idiot. Just ignore me. I just meant waiting outside of here for the longest girls' trip to the ladies' ever!"

Some giggling girls game in, oblivious to all that had just occurred in the women's lounge. Bonnie took Elena by the arm and led her to the door. "Come on, Caroline. Let's go," she called back to her friend. Then, more quietly to Elena she said, "You take your time and come out when you are ready, k?" She nodded at Elena who eventually nodded back. Caroline and Bonnie took their exit.

Just outside in the lobby stood Stefan. Damon stood just behind acting as his second. The elder brother was reverting to 1860's form in more ways than one tonight. Bonnie and Caroline approached to return to the prom. "She's coming. She's fine," Bonnie said. She gave a smile and a squeeze to Stefan's arm as she passed on her way back to the dance. He smiled back and looked to Caroline following next.

"She's a little shaky," Caroline whispered as she passed by Stefan next. "But she'll be fine."

"May I escort you two lovely ladies back inside?" Damon asked. He gave Stefan a nod which was answered with thanks and gratitude from brother to brother.

Just then, before Damon had turned away, the door to the women's lounge opened. Damon's mouth gaped. Elena emerged. She looked even more beautiful than when they'd first seen her tonight. Stefan quickly turned to see her. "How's it possible?" Damon asked.

"I'll tell you later," Stefan answered. Damon followed the girls back into the ballroom. Stefan stepped toward Elena. "You look beautiful." She smiled softly. Caroline had said she was shaky and she was right. Elena looked radiantly beautiful and yet so delicate, almost trembling. It was quite the contrast to how fierce, determined, and strong Elena had seemed without emotions. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Elena nodded. "But first, would it be ok, if,…if you kissed me?"

Stefan nodded but was otherwise still for a moment. Slowly he leaned in and gently kissed her, his lips soft and pliable, molding to hers. He heard a slight hum as she breathed in reaction to his touch. Maybe it was the beginning of a cry, but she kept it together. As they parted, she said, "Thank you."

He smiled quietly and nodded. "May I have this dance, Miss Gilbert?"

She barely got the words out. She was balancing on a very thin line. At any given moment, she might softly smile or completely dissolve into tears. "I'd be honored, Mr. Salvatore."

Most of the guests paid little attention, if any, to the attractive couple reentering the ballroom. They walked arm in arm unobtrusively to the dance floor. Almost no one else in the room would know or care about the meaning of their next dance. Their family and friends would know to a certain extent. But really only the two people involved would be able to truly understand.

There were no fancy spins or twirls. There were no dips or big turns and no groping hands or stolen kisses. Just two people, so in love, holding each other and taking steps to find their way back to each other. They mostly looked at each other as if they were studying and memorizing something they hadn't seen, at least not recently.

A rogue tear escape from Elena's eye. Stefan stopped still, his face changed instantly, and so subtly, to worry. He gently brushed her tear away and waited.

"I love you, Stefan, so much." The worry relaxed and a soft smile snuck to the corners of his mouth, his beautiful mouth. Before he could speak, her finger lightly touched his lips silencing him. "You don't have to say anything. I'm not going to be able to stop saying that, a lot. You don't have to say it back every time."

He closed his lips against her finger and took her direction, his eyes saying it anyway. His hand came up to hold her hand and place her palm against his lips. He kissed her tenderly then pulled her in closer letting his other hand trail lightly down her back. He weaved their fingers together in his other hand, just like they'd done earlier, and resumed dancing.

She smiled a watery smile, all the while nodding yes. She squeezed his hand back. She could feel it, him. He kissed her then, holding their mouths soft and still against each other while they danced. In actuality, they barely moved. The party was spinning around them but they were lost in their own bubble.

Eventually, the music changed to something much too upbeat for their mood. They read it on each other's faces. It was time to go. They turned to leave when Elena remembered her small clutch was back at their table.

"My purse."

He nodded and followed to the table while texting the limo for pickup.

Caroline, Matt, and Bonnie were all there, having just returned from dancing. They all looked up when Elena appeared. Elena picked up her little clutch, showing why she'd stopped back to the table. She looked to each of them, not knowing what to say.

Matt was the one to finally speak. With a big broad smile he said, "Hey, Elena, nice to see you."

Elena's eyes glossed over with tears as she gave a watery smile. "We'll talk tomorrow or whenever," Caroline said trying to avoid a tear-fest.

"Yeah, call us, whenever…no pressure," Bonnie added.

Elena knew better than to speak. Talking meant tears and losing it. She simply smiled and nodded with thanks in her heart for such amazing friends. Stefan took her hand and led her away before things got overwhelming. They were nearly out the door when Elena suddenly remembered. "Wait, what about…the clean up?"

"Maybe it can wait until tomorrow, when you've had a chance to rest?" he suggested. Elena hesitated. "Unless she's not safe or,…" he added trailing off.

"She's safe, just,…don't you want me to?" It was Stefan's turn to hesitate. The sheer fact that he did want this done but was trying to take care of Elena more made her even more determined to get this done for Jane and Stefan's sake.

They were in the lobby and so many others were as well, it was difficult to find one small girl who could be blocked by any number of others. Elena closed her eyes and listened. She heard the voice of the boy she'd thought was Jeremy and opened her eyes in his direction. Taking Stefan's hand she led him to the boy, Steve, hoping to find Jane. Before Elena had even gotten close, Jane and another girl had returned to the boy and the place where the volunteer helpers had made their home for the night.

Elena squeezed Stefan's hand in support, both giving and wanting it. "Jane?"

"Oh, hi, Elena." Jane looked a little confused at Elena looking all serious and with Stefan en tow.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Uh, sure." Jane looked at Stefan who looked rather serious then down at Elena's hand entwined with Stefan's in a tight grip. "What's wrong?" She sounded like a girl who thought she was in trouble.

"No, nothing's wrong. Maybe we can go over here?" Elena led them to a corner away from others. She squeezed Stefan's hand then released him since it seemed to be making Jane uncomfortable. Jane kept looking between them nervously. If they had to guess, Jane looked like she was worried that Elena had told Stefan about her feelings for Elena and that Stefan was upset. Then again, if Silas was telling the truth, the real Jane had not been in the woods with Elena…so they really didn't know what the real Jane was thinking.

Stefan picked up on Jane's nerves. "Maybe I should let you two talk…"

"No," Elena said, but quickly bit her lip. She was in no position to demand anything of Stefan. "Please, Stefan, stay?" She turned back to Jane to put her out of her misery quickly and the compulsion began. "Jane, you won't remember this conversation. From here on, you won't think of me in any other way except that I am Caroline's friend that brought you home from your cheerleading accident a few weeks ago. You will no longer have any romantic feelings for me, no memories of anything intimate happening between us. Do you understand?" Jane repeated back stilted and shortened versions of Elena's compulsion and nodded obediently. "I am so very sorry." Jane looked dazed and confused. "If anyone asks what we talked about, tell them I was thanking you for being so helpful tonight. That is all. We're done here. Thank you."

Jane came out of the compulsion. "You're welcome. I hope you had fun. Feel free to tell Caroline and the Dean that we did a good job! I could use the extra points!" Jane turned away and walked back to her cohorts.

Elena watched her go. Stefan stood at her side watching as well. "I need to get her some vervain too, maybe a locket or something."

"Ok."

"Maybe you could compel her to wear it, instead of me…" she suggested.

"Probably more natural if we just have Caroline gift it to her…But I will if you want."

"I don't want her to ever go without it."

"We'll take care of it, tomorrow, together."

She nodded and looked up at him. They turned to the door and exited to find the limo waiting.

He'd had to help her in and out of the limo just like earlier since the dress was so constricting around her legs. But, otherwise, the ride home was quiet and not at all how any prom-goers would imagine it would be. Teasing references to leaving just her shoes on were no longer top of mind. He kissed her hand once or twice but mostly they were quiet.

Elena entered their home while Stefan hung back to settle up with the limo driver. Still, he entered just moments after she did. They stood, a little awkwardly, in the foyer. "Well," Stefan said, beginning to loosen his tie. "Would you like a drink?"

"Sure," she said. "That'd be nice." He led the way to the lounge and almost forgot that she'd need his hand coming down the stairs.

"Sorry," he said under his breath, quickly turning back and offering his hand. He headed to the bar once she was down the steps. He poured her a drink and a stiffer one for himself. Handing her a glass, he then clinked glasses with her and downed half of his. Elena just sipped hers. It was quiet and the air filled with strained silence.

After another sip, Elena jumped in. "Stefan, nothing has to happen next. I hope you know that." Stefan had started to cross around to the fireplace in hopes of getting it started. He stopped and looked at her, unsure. "I just mean, you seem tense and I get it. I don't even have to sleep in the same bed if you don't want."

"Elena…" Stefan said, attempting to correct her.

"Stefan, I can feel it. I'm sorry, but I can. If you'd touched someone else, I don't know what I'd do either, except want to tear their arm off or something." She smirked slightly, trying to be a little light-hearted. "I wouldn't though, but I might want to…" She was quiet and serious again. "I won't push you to sleep with me."

"Elena, I want to sleep with you…" Stefan said, longing and some testosterone puffing him up a bit.

"I'm not questioning wanting sex. But wanting to be intimate with me and being ready to might be two different things, even for a man, in this situation." Elena smiled meekly. "I'm sorry if I'm wrong. Just know, the last thing I want is for you to have doubts. So there is no pressure, ok?"

Stefan caved. He nodded his understanding. "How'd you get even more intuitive?" They both smirked at the irony of her having been emotionless hours earlier. He was still tense though, despite the attempted humor.

Stefan set his drink on the mantle and lit the fire. He watched for a bit to ensure the fire caught well. Then, before joining her on the couch, he refilled both their glasses. He let out a heavy sigh as his body came to rest in the plush cushions. "You hit the nail on the head. Basically." She looked at him, curious what he meant after so much quiet between them. "It's not doubts though. It's the thought of…well the image of you…with her." Elena looked down into the drink in her lap. Stefan rubbed his forehead then his eyes. "I don't mean to make you feel bad."

"It's ok. I deserve it."

"No, it's not that."

"No, I do, Stefan."

"I'm not trying to punish you, Elena, really I'm not. And I so want to take you," he said, cupping her cheeks and kissing her. He continued, "…make love to you, cuz I've missed us, your heart…so much. It's just…" His hands dropped away and he sat back. "I am so happy you're back and at the same time, I'm angry, about your actions."

"You should be."

"It's especially confusing since you also Silas in your head so the girl wasn't really even involved in the worst of it."

"But some of it."

"It's just, well if it had just been a guy, honestly, it'd be worse, but somehow less confusing. It seems less…well just less having been a girl. I can't explain it. It's stupid…"

"No, Stefan…go ahead. "

He rubbed his eyes, forehead and mouth. "I just don't want to see her in my head…It's stupid…never mind." Stefan crossed his legs, shifting uncomfortably. Suddenly she understood, or at least suspected what he was trying to say.

"Oh," she said. He turned his face to her. "I think I know what you're saying, Stefan." He shook his head looking away and ran hand ran across his face and through his hair again. "But why beat yourself up about it?"

"Because I'm mad about it! It's not supposed to…"

"…turn you on…?" Stefan stood up, frustrated and ticked off. He crossed back to the liquor for another. "Stefan, I think that's just normal, I mean…" Stefan scoffed as he downed another shot.

Elena bit her lip, deciding to not speak further. This was Stefan's time, his issues, and his feelings. She sat by, ready to support him in whatever way he needed.

Stefan came around to the fireplace again. He leaned a hand upon the mantle as he stared at the fire. "I can see why you say 'it's normal' and I get it. Some guys like to see that...girls making out. But, that's not it, not really. There are memories of things I did long ago, things that would put your little tryst to shame. And it wasn't just sex. It was the blood back then too. And get this, I'm pissed. I'm pissed I couldn't save you from exploring that and then feeling guilty about it, but stranger than that, I'm partly pissed that I wasn't the one to take you to those darker places. I'm actually somehow jealous of her, or him, for getting to be there. How twisted is that?" He gulped down his drink and turned to face her by the end.

"Stefan, come sit." He hesitated, considering filling his empty glass first. He stayed put. He was too agitated to sit. "I think I understand more now than I would have weeks ago," she said getting up. She crossed to him and took his glass to the bar. "I actually thought about you, a lot, when I was with her, or them, as you said. I wondered how you would feel and if you'd like to watch us." She had looked at him at first but by the end of that thought was focused on the bottles. She poured and finally spoke again. "I think I wanted it to turn you on. There was some truth to how I teased you that day she came over." She crossed back to him and handed him his drink. She stayed watching the fire just as he was. "And then the blood. I remember thinking, wondering, if I was feeling what you might have felt becoming a ripper. It was so, mm," her eyes fluttered as she remembered, her eyes rolling back for a moment. "Intoxicating. There really isn't a better word for it. And then, when there was pleasure mixed with pain, oh, it was even better." She took a big gulp of her refill to calm the heated memories. "It scares the hell out of me now though, but it didn't then. Those darker places could appeal to almost anyone in the right moment. But, you've taught me better, taught me to balance our natures." She turned to look up at him, the glow of the fire flickering across his face. "So, do you really want to go there?"

"No."

"So, maybe this is really just about being mad at me. And you're conflicted. So your nature is…sort of messing with you right now, making it into more…Do you know what I mean?"

"Actually, yes, I do." Stefan sighed audibly. "It's that simple. I am mad and I want you in my bed,…our bed."

"Good," she said with the smallest of smiles.

"Good?"

"Yes, good."

A/N Stelena progress. Whew! Before you go, a little note with some morsel of feedback please?